Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death, and Loss

by Elena Lister, Michael Schwartzman Ph.D., Lindsey Tate (Primary Contributor)

The best and only resource you will ever need for helping any child understand and cope with illness, death, and loss

Just as death is inevitable, talking about death is an inevitable part of parenting. Dr. Elena Lister and Dr. Michael Schwartzman offer us the way to have conversations with children that are as much about life as they are about death—conversations that anyone who parents, teaches, or counsels children can have.
 
Giving Hope is a must-have resource that expands our understanding of how to prepare for, initiate, and facilitate these personal and profound conversations. The approach is honest, practical, and compassionate and will benefit a grieving child both now and in the future. Giving Hope provides us with the tools to make our children’s experiences positive and life-affirming.

288 pages, Hardcover

Published August 30, 2022

Reviews

[Paulette Sharkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gentle, compassionate book to guide adults in having hard conversations with children about death and the loss and grief we experience in its wake. It offers specific, practical advice on talking about death in the many ways it touches families: by terminal illness, by accident, by suicide, by miscarriage or still birth. Death in the media gets its own chapter, a timely inclusion as mass shootings and natural disasters fill our news. The authors answer questions like “Should a child attend a funeral?” (yes, but planning is needed) and “Should a child be told about an impending death?” (also yes). The authors stress the importance of grownups working through their own feelings before talking to children, and of helping children name their feelings because “What’s mentionable is manageable.”

I especially liked the suggested scripts for talks with children and appreciated the overall message of hope that parents and children can move forward by incorporating the loss into their life story. Talking to children about death is not one conversation, so this is a book you can turn to again and again as children grow and change. There’s an extensive resource list of organizations, books, and coping techniques (meditation, breathing exercises). Highly recommended for home and school libraries.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A current book with thoughtful and insightful guidance on conversations around illness and death. Written for caregivers who work with or have children. Marked as read but truthfully, I plan to use this book as a trusted resource.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful. A lot of takeaways to help you telling your children and through the whole process.

[Grace K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any amazing book to guide parents or anyone caring for children, it’s a must read! You might even learn about your own relationship with loss.