My notes are a hot fucking mess and full of spoilers. Here we go.
- Who put that spell on Mo Ran forever ago at the inn? (EDIT: We now know it was evil Shi Mei.) - Shi Mei totally tried to stab Chu Wanning while he was in seclusion. (EDIT: This is kind of up for debate now, I'd say. Why would he try to kill Chu Wanning when Shi Mei is in love with him? Or is he. I'm so fucking confused.) - Mo Ran and Chu Wanning are together. It was about damn time. - Nangong Si sacrificed himself. I didn't care about him until he died :( - Shi Mei is blind now? Also probably not evil. (EDIT: Ah, wait. Definitely very evil. ffs. But the Shi Mei from THIS world is the good one? Who's blind? Oh, it seems like he's dead. And evil Shi Mei from the past world who faked his death (also known as Hua Binan), is the evil, creepy mastermind behind everything. That's all I know.) - Mo Ran is part of the Ru Feng sect?? His blood was able to open the gates. He was aware of this. (EDIT: We got the whole background story on this in the last two chapters, 258 & 259.) - Taxian-Jun showed up somehow and fucked everything up. (EDIT: He's a fucking puppet controlled by evil Shi Mei. God damn it. None of this makes sense.) - Apparently Chu Wanning was carved from wood by his Shizun in the perfect image of Chu Xun. (EDIT: This is apparently not as big a deal as I thought. It kind of gets overshadowed by the rest of this absolute buffoonery.) - Also, apparently Chu Wanning from the previous world came to this world a while back to warn Chu Wanning's shizun about the evil emperor. (EDIT: We later see he also split his soul and did something weird to save the day. But I don't even know if he actually did. FFS.) - Turns our Emperor Taxian-Jun is missing some very important, pure memories. (EDIT: BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING CURSED. THAT'S WHY HE'S EVIL. HIS ANGER WAS HEIGHTENED AND EVERYTHING GOOD TAKEN OUT OF LITTLE MO WEIYU. ASDHKJGDAHUVLJWBE.) - Mo Ran kinda gave up on life when he realized Chu Wanning regained all the memories of their past life. And instead of talking it out, he assumed the worst and has essentially committed suicide by offering himself up to the sect to punish his misdeeds, but they believe him to be the evil Mo Ran (revived corpse Taxian-Jun) they just saw murder a bunch of people. FFS. So, this isn't great.) - We learn that when Mo Ran was starving as child, he met Chu Wanning, who fed him and saved his life. Very cute. Also, how cliche lol.
Overall, the actual plot stuff sucks. (EDIT: Until a certain point. Then the focus goes back to the MCs and things get intersting again.) There's so much happening with Ye Wangxi and Nangong Si and Xu Shuanglin and Nangong Luo. And maybe someone else? Like I don't even know who the villain is. I have no idea what's happening and no interest in finding out. (EDIT: Well well well, how things have changed.) Book 3 sucks. (EDIT: Until closer to the end.) Ok, but at least now there's the Taxian-Jun plot and we learned about Chu Wanning's past. It just doesn't make sense. Which may or may not be due to the subpar translation and my own sorely lacking attention span. But still. Why is Shi Mei evil? Who even is he? If Mo Ran was cursed and lost all his good memories, why does he still remember and love Shi Mei? Why hate everyone except for Shi Mei? Wait...maybe it's cause Shi Mei is the one that cast the curse so he's immune..? (EDIT: Shi Mei casting the curse was confirmed. But I don't know about the rest of it. I literally don't know about anything, this is all so confusing, why are people passing through both worlds, why why why-)
Yeah, I definitely gotta finish this once the translation is complete. God damn it.
Second time read (and completed): - I remembered Chu Wanning meeting Mo Ran when he was little, a sort of fateful encounter, but I didn't remember it being so meaningful. Mo Ran is the reason Chu Wanning left his master and didn't end up getting sacrificed like a little lamb. And Chu Wanning is the reason Mo Ran didn't die immediately after his mother passed away. - (ch. 240) It's actually so beautiful the way Chu Wanning is described to be a real person-- more human than most, even. And the horror of HuaZhui asking him to carve out his own spiritual core, and Chu Wanning doing it... and it was beautiful how HuaiZhui immediately realized his mistake, and stopped him. I really want to read this scene when it gets fully translated. - Oh the stress of Taxian-jun going on a rampage and everyone thinking he's Mo Ran... - Still don't understand anything with Shi Mei! Haha! What the fuck! - It's both a relief and highly unnerving learning that Mo Ran's memories were messed with to the point that he can't even remember Chu Wanning teaching him to write or himself writing hundreds of letters to his mother. He really was sabotaged until he went insane. It's so interesting though because we learn that Chu Wanning discovered a curse on Mo Ran, something Mo Ran never knew about! And this was something Past Chu Wanning felt guilty about! And so, in my own line of thinking, this helps even out Mo Ran's horrors in two parts: 1) Can he really be too blame if he was cursed into being evil? and 2) Chu Wanning doesn't blame Mo Ran, only himself. - ew, ew, ew. Creepy Shi Mei describing peeping in on Taxian-jun and Chu Wanning's wedding night... I still think there's such a big weird discrepancy between who we see of Shi Mei throughout the entire series and who we see of him when he becomes a villain. He's just so creepy and perverted, and I still don't understand his plan at all. - Mo Ran thinking he's beyond foregiveness now that Chu Wanning knows the past, while Chu Wanning just wants to get him back... ugh. My soul. - As always, it is quite painful to see Mo Ran's rough past. - I know danmei novels love their tragic and highly traumatic backstories, but I don't see the point of delving into Mo Ran's. Some of it helps clarify a bit of his character, but mostly it just seems like schadenfreude, or just whump fanfic. - Ok fourteen-year-old Mo Ran went way too far-- not just killing but TORTURING the people from the jade pavilion that raised him. Like, sure, Mo Niang was a P.O.S. and his buddies also raped that girl, and Ms. Mo was abusive as well, but what on earth?? The torture?? How do we exuse that?? How, I ask you??! All the Taxian-jun stuff can get written off as "he was under a curse!" But now??? - Mo Ran... destroyed his spiritual core???!! Nani??! What the hell is gonna happen???!! Oh god... his whole reasoning is so heartbreaking. He just wants to save people, to be a good person, to honor his mother, to be worthy of Chu Wanning. His thoughts in this scene are just so sad :( The way his last words to his family are just a weak little: "Don't hate me" HNGH. 3 - Ok well to not much surprise, Shi Mei (from this world) is in cahoots with Evil!Shi Mei from the other world. - I don't quite unserstand why Shi Mei's chest wound is festering (because he used the Zhenlong Chess Formation? Right?), but it has me pleased. Good. Rot, you piece of trash. - Ok I'm confused. If Evil!Shi Mei putting the Hatred Flower into Mo Ran made Mo Ran love only him, why does Taxian-jun seem to hate Shi Mei? They're working together, but it does not seem a good relationship. And I'm pretty sure Shi Mei is controlling Taxian-jun (not sure to what extent though), but since Taxian-jun is still evil, shouldn't the flower still be in effect? He should still only have positive feelings for Shi Mei. I will say, though. That scene where Taxian-jun is holding a feverish Chu Wanning protectively while Shi Mei looks on in anger was so tense and kinda awesome. It's just so twisted. Two villains from the past, kidnapping one of the heroes from the present, both in love with him and hating each other. It's kind of heartbreaking though, the way even Taxian-jun still loves Chu Wanning and wants to care for him. Shi Mei yelling at him that he's dead and cold and can't warm up the feverish Chu Wanning, then ordering him to let go, was so sad, honestly. - I don't understand how Shi Mei can act so careless towards Chu Wanning when he's supposedly in love with him. Like, huh? Yeah, Shi Mei is evil, but his whole plan was just to get Chu Wanning? I think?? Anyway, good to know that taking down Shi Mei takes down Taxian-jun as well. And honestly, at this point, I feel like Taxian-jun might just sacrifice himself in the end. - (Ch. 267) Rape-y Shi Mei makes me want to brain myself against my desk. Where the fuck is Taxian-jun who said he'd be waiting and listening at the door. I'm starting to get real tired of these plot-holes. - (Ch. 267) Nah, this line from Chu Wanning so damn funny because I was wondering the exact same thing: He couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong, something he wasn't doing right, not acting like a teacher, so these disciples one by one succumbed to these kinds of wolfish ambitions in bed. - (Ch. 267) BAHAHAHHAHAHA NOT TAXIAN-JUN MAYBE A TINY DICK JOKE AT SHI MEI BRO WTFFFF HAHAHAHA Now wait a damn minute, why is this scene so funny. Taxian-jun: Put your tiny dick away, you're disgusting. Shi Mei: Who you calling disgusting??! Taxian-jun: (Referring to Shi Mei captured by the dragon) The person who's tied up. Chu Wanning: (still tied up by Shi Mei) ... Taxian-jun: Oh, oops. Um. The person who's naked. Chu Wanning: (also naked) .... Taxian-jun: ... DamMit, NOT YOU. - (Ch. 270) Ooh, that's crazy! Chu Wanning mixing his and Mo Ran's souls allows him to see some of Mo Ran's memories!! Seriously, memory-sharing is one of my favorite tropes, particularly among couples with lots of secrets, and I know Meatbun loves her memory dream sequences. - Imma just put this out there: Mo Ran choosing Chu Wanning as his shizun because CW looks like MR's mother is weird XD Even if it's just from a certain angle! The mommy issues in MR go deep. - Honestly, I'm STILL wondering why Shi Mei likes Chu Wanning. With Mo Ran it makes sense, 'cause MR is super damaged and he's got mommy issues, and he imprinted on CW, and he got closer to CW than anyone else so he was able to see the softness and kindness underneath. But I don't think Shi Mei has seen the same CW that MR has?? So..?? Yeah, I'm not a fan of Shi Mei's character. Neither his crush nor his villain-cy make sense. - (Ch. 276) I stg if Mo Ran dies and Chu Wanning ends up with Taxian-jun as if that's the same thing... I swear to god... - (Ch. 279) Now wait a damn minute. Chu Wanning's handkerchief, that infamous handkerchief, that everyone wants and Mo Ran was able to perfectly replicate, was made by Mo Ran all along?? Did we know this already or did I miss it?! Anyway, is THAT why Chu Wanning get dragging his feet about making more? Haha! - (Ch. 279) Mo Ran better not fucking die I stg... He's not dead, right?? RIGHT??! Dear lord, I'm genuinely scared of what Meatbun might consider a satisfying ending now... - (Ch. 280) Nope. Nope nope nope. Chu Wanning acting like Mo Ran is still alive is too disturbing. Nope nope nope. - I just need to say I really don't like that CW was given memories of his past life. I don't think he needs to know so intimately what MR did. It also causes a lot of confusion. - Xue Meng committing cold-blooded murder was not on my 2ha bingo card, but I will support my lil boi in anything he does. Oh, and Mei Hanxue protecting him?? Delicious. Imma need quite a bit more development between the two of them, though, if they're actually gonna get together. - (Ch. 287) NOOOOOOOOO POOR XUE MENG. NOT JUST LOSING HIS DAD, BUT THEN ALSO HIS MOM, AND THEN FINDING OUT HIS DAD ISN'T EVEN HIS REAL DAD??! STOP MAKING MY BOY SUFFER. - (Ch. 287) "Female war god" Ye Wangxi, hell fuckin' yeah. I'm not the biggest fan of Ye Wangxi, along with Nangong Si, mainly because I was annoyed with the whole Rufeng Sect plot that derailed the main plotline. But she's cool. - (Ch. 288) Oh fuck off, Mo Ran is gonna give his memories to Taxian-jun and Taxian-jun will become the new Mo Ran and live happily ever after with Chu Wanning. I am so disgusted. It is not the same thing. It should be, but it does not feel the same. - THIS SERIES IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG. - (Ch. 290) Ok so Mei Hanxue has a twin? Also named Mei Hanxue? I don't even... Like what does that even mean?? Why should this even matter?? What is the point? WHAT WAS THE REASON?! But more importantly: WHO am I supposed to SHIP XUE MENG WITH??! - Ch. 290 is just depressed Xue Meng and depressed me and good god I really can't do this much longer. - Skipped two chapters. I just can't anymore. - (Ch. 293) Why... why would you... say that... What the fuck... Taxian-jun, with the scattered memories he has of Mo Ran's life in the current timeline, told Xue Meng about... ch. 209... The scene itself is funny, but Xue Meng finding, and in this situation with that context... I think this series has officially gone too far. BUT SERIOUSLY, WHY IS XUE MENG GOING THROUGH IT??! - (Ch. 294) You know what? Fuck this. Just a few days ago, I was debating with someone online who was sure that this is just an unabashed rape kink novel. And I defended this series. But no. Rape after rape. I just can't anymore. - (Ch. 295) This Is FUCKED. SO fuCKED. - (Ch. 296) I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this - (Ch. 297) Ok, I'm not very clear on Shi Mei's big plan because I've been skimming so much, but it seems he's mad that his mother was used for breeding purposes and killed? You know, oppressed and manipulated and used for sinister sexual purposes. You know, that thing he's trying to do to Chu Wanning? Just... what the fuck. - (Ch. 302) Forgive me for wondering... but... is the Mei Hanxue x 2 situation a threesome kinda situation? Just curious. - (Ch. 310) SO WE'RE JUST GONNA STOP RIGHT WHEN THEY MEET AGAIN, ARE WE. SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING, HUH. Oh, whatever. At least the real Mo Ran is alive. - (Ch. 311) What the hell, this is so sad! Xue Meng's all alone, he waits months for a sign of Mo Ran and/or Chu Wanning. This is so heartbreaking. He understands they can't return, but he just wants a letter to know that they're okay T_T T_T Honestly, I don't need any Mo Ran or Chu Wanning extras. I'm sick of them. All I want to see is Xue Meng, and Xue Meng happy. - This "several months later" epilogue is utter bullshit. A) Xue Meng is alone and hurting for way too long :'( and B) Mo Ran and Chu Wanning have a dumb recapitulating conversation about what happened in the last chapter-- which for them would've been MONTHS AGO. And they're only having this important conversation now?? Fuck off. We could've had the reunion between them and THEN jumped several months into the future. WITHOUT HURTING MY POOR BOY XUE MENG, MIND YOU. - Ok what the FUCK do you mean Taxian-jun's spirit regularly comes back to take over Mo Ran's body?? I really can't. Author, you need to make up your damn mind.
Anyway, I really really ship Xue Meng and Mei Hanxue now. So.... ao3, here I come.
My tears were all for Xue Meng, by the way. Just felt awful for him the entire damn time :(
Also, I want to lower my rating to 2 stars, but I think with a better translation it would remain at a 3. I'm still so mad at a lot of the story, though.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I'm gonna be honest. This series was lowkey(highkey) traumatizing.
I wouldn't recommend reading if you're sensitive to harsh topics(you can find a proper list of TWs on 2hatl.carrd.co).
Other than that, the first 150 chapters were amazingly translated. After that, I had to go off of an MTL that made me almost completely lose the story's essence. I'm not sure how to review this because I wasn't able to grasp how the author wrote the second half of the book(which I'm sure, is also well written). Once the rest of the book is translated, maybe I'll come back and do another review.
For TXJxCWN, TWJ and CWN's relationship just made me extremely uncomfortable as a whole. It had so much unnecessary detailed scenes that I just had to skip because of how gross they were. I feel like much of it was unnecessary and was just there for a diversion or plot twists.
However, MRxCWN; Lord do I love them. Mo Ran was characterized BEAUTIFULLY. I'm so glad the author wasn't in a rush to forgive him and his development from the evil TXJ to the compassionate and strong-willed Mo Ran was immaculate. I love his character and he was portrayed extremely well. I despised him, was annoyed at him, loved him, thought he was hot(cough) adorable, went through a grueling journey of him figuring out his feelings and repenting for his horrible mistakes. That is a HARD, hard character to write properly but Meatbun achieved it. Not to mention, MR and CWN's relationship. RanWan's story is absolutely heartbreaking. It is *two* whole lifetimes full of misunderstandings, angst, sacrifice, the kind that makes me want to stop everything and just cry and throw up all day.
[DISCLAIMER: However much I do find Mo Ran attractive, I DO NOT FIND TAXIAN-JUN ATTRACTIVE I am literally the head of the TXJ hate club don't play w/ me]
Now, the plot. I was completely engaged in this book maybe up until the Rufeng Sect wedding. After that, it kind of got all muddled up and confusing and I didn't quite understand what was going on. It felt like a bunch of ideas that author pulled out of her magical rabbit hat and mashed together in an attempt to shock the reader. Some were interesting. But the majority were just not and didn't make sense.
A somewhat unpopular opinion of mine(not sure why it is unpopular) is you can like Mo Ran and hate Taxian-jun, but you have to realize and accept that they are the same person. Taxian-jun's actions are Mo Ran's actions, no matter how much he paid for them.
I hate u Meatbun. Made me go through 1mil+ words of absolute pain and suffering.
I loved the story, loved the characters, loved the writing. I can't wait to pick up the official english translation. I don't recall ever crying so much reading a book. The amount of love I have for the characters, especially Chu Wanning and Mo Ran + Taxian Jun!!!