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Married to Mom: Learning to Recognize Hidden Red Flags in a Relationship with a Mother-Enmeshed Covert Narcissist
They tell you to find a man who loves his mother but they never warn you about the man who loves his mother too much. Maybe you wonder how that is even possible? Two words — Mother Enmeshment. When a person’s relationship with his mother leaks toxicity into all other relationships, it’s time to sound the alarm bells of dysfunction.
In Married to Learning to Recognize Hidden Red Flags in a Relationship with a Mother-Enmeshed Covert Narcissist you Sure, romantic relationships are all about acceptance. But sometimes you’re right to question your partner’s behaviors. If you’ve ever thought to yourself “I’ll never measure up to his mother” or "He values his mom more than he values me." — move Married to Mom to the top of your reading list. You may be onto something.
In Married to Learning to Recognize Hidden Red Flags in a Relationship with a Mother-Enmeshed Covert Narcissist you Sure, romantic relationships are all about acceptance. But sometimes you’re right to question your partner’s behaviors. If you’ve ever thought to yourself “I’ll never measure up to his mother” or "He values his mom more than he values me." — move Married to Mom to the top of your reading list. You may be onto something.
254 pages, Paperback
Published August 29, 2021
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January 8, 2022
This in many, many ways could have been my experience with my late mother in law with some changes. She was highly, highly narcissistic and then you can add in highly highly bi-polar or manic depressive as it was referred to decades ago.
She was cruel, vicious, selfish, jealous – every single word one could think of to describe a person who wanted to control my husband’s life totally. He spoke very, very little of what his childhood was like through his teenage years, then into young manhood until we married.
I only knew a smattering of the crises she created in her family, he either could not talk about it or else he had forgotten because of the traumas.
She had planned his life from the day he entered high school, on into his college years, even beyond that. She had pushed him to become a doctor, am sure she wanted to be the lord over everyone mother of the well known, brilliant Dr. ……… in our home town.
Her own life was not one of any major accomplishments at all. Her husband was a very nice man but financially their life wasn’t very good. He was only a mechanic as a local business, not well paid at all.
Her own personal life as far as I can determine was one of failed business adventure, one after another – she was always one looking for a “get rich scheme”. She kept her husband in debt with such business adventures that failed.
She was extremely jealous of her sister who had married well, had a beautiful home and life in another city in our state.
She had “picked” out a young girl who was a student at a local college for him to marry and pushed her onto my husband as fiercely as she possibly could. (In my own experiences and what I’ve always heard was that when “Mother” pushed a girl onto their son to date, etc. it was usually “the kiss of death.” Boys seldom were interested at all in their Mother’s suggestions as to dating girls even marrying them.
She opposed our marriage from the get-go. There was argument after argument between her and my soon to be husband about marrying me. When we became engaged formally (the day he gave me my engagement ring) we of course went to his family home to see his parents, sister, etc. When we got there she never ever acknowledged my presence at all and never looked at my engagement ring. His Dad and other family members congratulated us, oohed and aahed over the ring but not her.
She was so opposed to our marriage that she did not even come to our wedding which was a large formal type held in my husband and his parents local church. Many, many of the invited guests were personal friends of his family, many hers. But she was a no-show.
She did everything possible after we married to make my life miserable. More than one time I heard this phrase “Remember I had him first.” Despicable.
She actually make phone calls to me after our two daughters were born, very carefully to call when he was at work, not at home. She would say “…….., I want to speak to my son.” I would reply that he was at work (calls always came in around 2 or 3:00 in afternoons when he was at work). She’d then say “oh, I wasn’t aware of the time, I didn’t have my watch on, etc.” She would ask a couple of questions about my children then the very last thing she would say to me before hanging up was this:
“………….,I just want you to know that all I have to do is crook my little finger and my wonderful son will come back to me, I had him first.”
That only happened about 3 or 4 times and then one time she made her vicious, bitter phone call to me and the moment she began that litany and I said this to her:
“………, you stop right there you Bitch, don’t you ever call me again”
I then hung up the phone so hard I think it probably busted her ear drum.
All the above continued to take place during the 26 years she lived after our marriage. She never once accepted me, made my personal life miserable, was always civil to me in front of my husband but behind his back, she constantly crucified me.
So that is why this book in some ways resonated with the experiences I had with my late mother in law for over 30 years.
And I deeply hope others in such a situation with a narcissistic, bitter mother in law recognizes the problems and her husband tries in every way possible to get his mother to back off, not make his and wife’s marriage a hell on earth.
This writer did a very good job explaining the dangers, heartaches and troubles when one marries a man with a mother in law like mine or hers.
She was cruel, vicious, selfish, jealous – every single word one could think of to describe a person who wanted to control my husband’s life totally. He spoke very, very little of what his childhood was like through his teenage years, then into young manhood until we married.
I only knew a smattering of the crises she created in her family, he either could not talk about it or else he had forgotten because of the traumas.
She had planned his life from the day he entered high school, on into his college years, even beyond that. She had pushed him to become a doctor, am sure she wanted to be the lord over everyone mother of the well known, brilliant Dr. ……… in our home town.
Her own life was not one of any major accomplishments at all. Her husband was a very nice man but financially their life wasn’t very good. He was only a mechanic as a local business, not well paid at all.
Her own personal life as far as I can determine was one of failed business adventure, one after another – she was always one looking for a “get rich scheme”. She kept her husband in debt with such business adventures that failed.
She was extremely jealous of her sister who had married well, had a beautiful home and life in another city in our state.
She had “picked” out a young girl who was a student at a local college for him to marry and pushed her onto my husband as fiercely as she possibly could. (In my own experiences and what I’ve always heard was that when “Mother” pushed a girl onto their son to date, etc. it was usually “the kiss of death.” Boys seldom were interested at all in their Mother’s suggestions as to dating girls even marrying them.
She opposed our marriage from the get-go. There was argument after argument between her and my soon to be husband about marrying me. When we became engaged formally (the day he gave me my engagement ring) we of course went to his family home to see his parents, sister, etc. When we got there she never ever acknowledged my presence at all and never looked at my engagement ring. His Dad and other family members congratulated us, oohed and aahed over the ring but not her.
She was so opposed to our marriage that she did not even come to our wedding which was a large formal type held in my husband and his parents local church. Many, many of the invited guests were personal friends of his family, many hers. But she was a no-show.
She did everything possible after we married to make my life miserable. More than one time I heard this phrase “Remember I had him first.” Despicable.
She actually make phone calls to me after our two daughters were born, very carefully to call when he was at work, not at home. She would say “…….., I want to speak to my son.” I would reply that he was at work (calls always came in around 2 or 3:00 in afternoons when he was at work). She’d then say “oh, I wasn’t aware of the time, I didn’t have my watch on, etc.” She would ask a couple of questions about my children then the very last thing she would say to me before hanging up was this:
“………….,I just want you to know that all I have to do is crook my little finger and my wonderful son will come back to me, I had him first.”
That only happened about 3 or 4 times and then one time she made her vicious, bitter phone call to me and the moment she began that litany and I said this to her:
“………, you stop right there you Bitch, don’t you ever call me again”
I then hung up the phone so hard I think it probably busted her ear drum.
All the above continued to take place during the 26 years she lived after our marriage. She never once accepted me, made my personal life miserable, was always civil to me in front of my husband but behind his back, she constantly crucified me.
So that is why this book in some ways resonated with the experiences I had with my late mother in law for over 30 years.
And I deeply hope others in such a situation with a narcissistic, bitter mother in law recognizes the problems and her husband tries in every way possible to get his mother to back off, not make his and wife’s marriage a hell on earth.
This writer did a very good job explaining the dangers, heartaches and troubles when one marries a man with a mother in law like mine or hers.
Displaying 1 of 1 review