Kiss Me Softly, Amy Turtle

by Paul McDonald

The will-sapping tedium of life as a Walsall Reflector hack has given Dave Ichabod"" McVane a serious thirst for the devil's juice. Now, after years of debauchery, the booze has bitten what feels like a rhinoceros is buffeting its way through his stomach. He awakens cathetered and bed-bound among deranged ""regulars"" in a hospital with a terrifyingly high mortality rate. And if that wasn't bad enough, a figure from a past he'd rather forget revisits...to leave Dave reeling, raddled with paranoia, and facing a scalpel-happy surgeon.

281 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Paul McDonald is a British academic, comic novelist, and poet. He teaches English and American Literature at the University of Wolverhampton, where he also runs the Creative and Professional Writing Programme.

Reviews

[Sean Beckett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit strange this. Not exactly my home town but near enough. The opening line is an absolute cracker. There were times during the book when I thought it was a one-trick pony and the putting down of Walsall was starting to grate, but by the end I think he pulls it off.

No idea what those unfamiliar with Walsall will think, but I’m sure they could just insert the name of their own “Walsall” and get the picture.

Oh, and btw, I laughed out loud more than once whilst reading this, something I hardly ever do.

[Ann Baxter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being local to Walsall I recognised everywhere he was talking about ( although names had been changed to protect the guilty😃a very funny book, laugh out loud in places

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've heard Paul McDonald read at The Birmingham Literary Festival opening ceremonies a couple of times and enjoyed his excerpts and banter (mind you, my main reason for going has been the quiz). I was therefore disappointed in this book: it was funny in many ways, but since a lot of the situations depended upon Dave's alcoholism and drunkenness it became a little tedious. Nonetheless he ended up as the most sympathetic character - and certainly the best defined - in the book. I'm willing to acknowledge that latent prudery may have been one of the reasons I didn't enjoy this as much as I had anticipated and give him another go.

[Alan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Paul read part of this at the launch and it was dead funny. However reading it later it didn't seem as funny. What I need is paul to do an audio book instead, or sit with me on the bus etc reading it to me. Mind you not when I read in bed though. Might be a little crowded.

[Dale Talbot · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-reading the quality book by Paul McDonald. The sequel to Surviving Sting. Good funny novel set in Walsall.