The World Has Gone To Turd And The Only Way To Save It Is With A Big Ol' Battle Royale

by Matthew A. Clarke

Terrorists rule the world.
In the race to destroy the final orphanage on the planet, is there anything that can save the souls of the inhabitants of earth?

Jesus saves.
In a bizarre twist of fate, the majority of the population is eradicated. Those that remain are given a second chance, ascending to a curious land in which they are told they must fight for their lives to survive.

Only two can prevail.
Which is going to be somewhat of an issue given the inclusion of the Wild Cards; special combatants dropped into the battlefield to wreak havoc. From Kim Jong-un to Hitler, these guys are out for blood.


The World Has Gone To Turd And The Only Way To Save It Is With A Big Ol' Battle Royale is a brutal, action packed adventure that tackles some of the most pressing issues of modern times, such as what would happen if Jesus returned and wasn't able to find a virgin? And is it possible for a sentient man-turd to fall in love? One thing is for sure, you've never seen a battle royale quite like this.

229 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 18, 2021

About the author

Matthew A. Clarke is a British horror and bizarro author.

He has published fifteen books at the time of writing, and has countless short stories lurking in the darkest corners of the library.

Bizarro


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Bizarro fiction is a contemporary literary genre, which often uses elements of absurdism, satire, and the grotesque, along with pop-surrealism and genre fiction staples, in order to create subversive, weird, and entertaining works. We read that stuff (someone has to) and then write publicly to one another here about the experience of reading it. If you join this group, you can too.

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Connect
Website: www.matthewaclarkeauthor.co.uk
Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/~/e/B082WJJPQ3
Facebook: www.facebook.com/matthewaclarkeauthor

Reviews

[Corrina Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, my crazy journey through Heavens Gate has come to an end!! I'm sad, but it's been an utterly brilliant ride!
I've felt EVERY emotion whilst reading this series - I've laughed, I've cried, I've cried laughing! I've shouted, screamed and cheered! I've felt sick, I've been grossed out, weirded out and creeped out! And I fell in love!! 😉😂
There are loads of amazing, interesting and quirky characters in this series, but Scat won my heart!! (Yes, I did just write that!) 💩😍
The scenarios throughout this series are absolutely awesome and can only have come from the mind of a madman!! 😜
I would love to see this on screen! So many brilliant visuals, and some not so brilliant, cumnado springs to mind! 😂, but it would make an awesome TV series, at least!! 😁
The finale was action packed, fun, crazy, bizzare, bloody, hilarious and, well, perfect! It made my little black heart so very happy!! 🖤

5/5 squidgy turds for the final installment and the series overall!!! One of my fave things to come out of this year!! 💩💩💩💩💩

[Hail Hydra! ~Dave Anderson~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

That’s not to say it was something they particularly wanted to encourage, but it was a necessity. No different than what Adam and Eve had done with their kids to populate the earth or the winners of the previous battle royale on whatever planet God had created before that. The ends justified the means. A small price to pay for a better future.

[Reekfeel Reekfeel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Three words - Great Start. Great Middle bits. And fantastic Ending.
First - such a great premise - a battle to find worthy winners help JC’s naughty plans. (He’s a bad boy).
Then it’s all-out action - which is the trademark Clarke signature - and you know it’s so good and inventive, though did leave me a bit foggy at times.
Then there’s the extra big ending which you just have to read for something really cool and different and unexpected. Certainly deserves a reading for all the mania and energy.

[Fernando · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were probably plenty of people that would say ramming your dick through a toddler's eye was not okay.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a minute since I read some bizarro as hilarious as this book. I don't need to outline the plot. It's the title. Imagine this: the world has gone to shit, so Jesus decides to level the population and have the survivors duke it out. The last two standing get to repopulate the world. Cool, right? I mean, maybe not for the participants, but for us readers? Cooool.

Listen, I don't want to give away too many details because the details are where the fun of reading resides. I will say that if you are squeamish about gratuitous violence and gore, sentient poo, sex, or any combination of the three, this book isn't for you. If you find extreme caricatures of religious figures offensive, take a pass. But if you're ready for a story you'll never forget, grab this book and put on the audiobook because it is so much fun.

I received and Audible code from the narrator, Lucas Boyd. Matt Clarke is already one of my favorite authors but now I have a new must listen narrator. He brought each unique character to a life of their own. My daughter, who doesn't usually like audiobooks, joined me while I was halfway through and ended up listening to the entire second half with me. We laughed our asses off at the absurdity of this story and thoroughly enjoyed Boyd's performance. It is a rare thing that she sticks around to finish a book with me, so thanks to Matt Clarke and Lucas Boyd for that.