Campbell's Curse: The South Pier Slayer

by M.J. Edwards

Charlie Campbell is dreading his family trip to Blackpool - it means he has to spend time with his insufferable cousins who love making his life a misery.After a strange encounter with a fortune teller, Charlie thinks the trip couldn’t get any worse - until they find themselves stuck in a creepy, abandoned waxwork museum filled with recreations of some of the world’s most famous murderers.And there’s something not quite right about those waxworks. It’s almost as if they’re... alive.From the mind of M.J. Edwards, author of Kissing the Coronavirus, comes a whole new breed of horror.Reviews for Campbell's The South Pier it!'

111 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2021

Reviews

[Marc *Dark Reader with a Thousand Young! Iä!* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charlie Campbell hated going on holiday with his family. Almost as much as he hated going to the foot clinic where his mum worked. Not only was the clinic boring with nothing fun for him to do, but all the customers were doddery old ladies who had feet that looked like chewed taco shells and smelled like rotten beef. Thanks, polio.

Oh M.J. Edwards, I have missed you so. I was pleased and surprised to discover this new title; my alerts for new releases by some authors don't appear to be working. I was even more pleased and surprised that it is a longer piece of fiction than her prior star-makers: Kissing the Coronavirus, Penetrated by the President's Twitter Feed, and more. In Campbell's Curse, the author shifts from riotous erotica to a riotous homage to a beloved children's series. That's right, it's Goosebumps for adults. And I mean for adults! And maybe snarky teenagers. Because the language is really quite not child-appropriate. Do you really want your kid asking what any of these words mean?: tagnut, cocktrundle,

Stupid, thick, scaredy, nobhead, dickcheese, fucknut, cocktongue, wankteeth, shitty, fucky, wanky

and yes that is a consecutive passage from the book.

It really is a great homage, not just parody. It follows the Goosebumps form wonderfully, and would be a pitch-perfect entry in that series if it ever let you forget who the author is:

Basically, according to Charlie’s pre-trip research it was the worst-rated attraction in Blackpool, and that included the puppet show on the promenade that was presented by an opium-addicted sexist who refused to stop telling kids that Osama Bin Laden had some good ideas.

That is so M.J. Edwards. Terrifically plotted, the story follows 12-year-old Charlie, forced to join his extended family reunion at a British seaside vacation town, including his hyper-bully cousin Jack. A whole pack of tweens find themselves trapped in an abandoned waxwork museum, where the horror mounts quickly.

Suddenly a sharp gust of wind blew out every candle inside the hut. Charlie felt hands grapple him as his cousins screamed and desperately scrambled for the exit. But where was it? Why was it so dark? Whose knee just brushed against his penis?

It is full of genuinely tense and thrilling moments and age-appropriate reactions.

Charlie snatched at the handle and shook it over and over and over, but did it budge? ​Of course it didn’t. ​Which meant only one thing. ​They were fuckered.

But while it observes the form faithfully and provides a damn good story, the author isn't afraid to call out the bad puns and writing formulas.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Holy shitting fuck.

Tension. Terror. Monsters. Drama. History.

Charlie turned, and there, standing beside the operator’s booth, was… No. Surely not. It was Adolf Hitler.

All that and a FANTASTIC ending, although it doesn't quite wrap everything up . . .

So many questions. So much anger and frustration and poos in public spaces that Charlie wouldn’t be able to forget.

I hope the author follows the thread to more books in this series, but if she decides to try writing something completely different I will still gobble it up.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! It is the perfect mix of creepy and funny. I’ve read all of M.J. Edwards’ works and will continue to buy what she writes. This book clearly sets up a series I am here for and can’t wait for the next book! Definitely gave me humorous Goosebumps books vibes (for those of us who grew up with those) and I loved how it gave me those vibes but is written for adults.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Basically Goosebumps with Hitler and Rose West

[Naomi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really does deliver Goosebumps to an adult audience.

[Isabela Herckes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book read exactly like a cheesy B horror movie and I loved it for that

[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

100% Goosebumps for adults.

Campbell's Curse: The South Pier Slayer is a wild ride; it's silly, it's gruesome & it gives "what the hell am I reading vibes?"