Tales of a Diplomat's Daughter

by Marie Suazo, Jisu Choi (Illustrator), Marie Suazo

Living in between cultures, I constantly felt confused about everything around me. I grew up going to an international school in South Korea, and my parents spoke Tagalog at home. As a diplomatic family, we made our first move back to my parent’s country, the Philippines, when I was eleven years old. Everything familiar was gone, so in a way, I felt like I was gone too. I went to a brand-new school with Filipinos who expected me to know basic Filipino things (that I didn’t know), and those interactions brought many negative emotions into my life that I stuffed away and ignored. I didn’t know there was a healthy way to deal with those emotions, because no one taught me how.

Through another move—to Egypt this time—I became a high-functioning third culture kid. I was smiling on the outside, but inside, my emotions were tangled together like a game of pick-up sticks. I didn't know where one thought ended and another began. Clarity came as a young adult, when I finally put words to the difficult experiences of my past through counseling. It took a lot of time, but I was able to peel away layer after layer of each event to find the real me. As I share what I've learned, I hope my healing helps you pursue your own.

86 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 29, 2021

Reviews

[Cali · Rating 5 out of 5]

insightful, informative and full of feelings. this hit me where it hurt but in the best way. it's nice to know that other people have shared similar experiences and that these experiences don't have to define me as a person. this reads like a good conversation with a friend.

[Books Review · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not a child of diplomat parents, nor have I travelled across countries a lot but one thing I can say, I have travelled across destinations across the most culturally diverse country in the world, India. Living with parents who get transferred pretty often is a lot of things mixed in a grocery cart. While you get Ice cream as the destination you also have to deal with the milk and cereals as well, unless you are an adult of course and like the way cereals and milk taste. Moving a lot as a child is often like this, you will enjoy it up to a point on the plane and then comes the steep decline, now being an adult you aren't supposed to be afraid of the decline but imagine pushing a 5-year-old learning cycle across a slope that you cannot see the bottom too?

This book is something I can relate to on a very personal note. The things written inside were at some point my feelings. The child learning to adapt and overcome in this book was at a time my reality. Although not a child anymore, I can still feel the trepidation of joining a new school and wondering if I will be accepted. Well, when you are really small and connections and friendships only mean passing the crayons, the things are a little easier but as you grow up and start making connections and getting attached to people leaving them behind and moving to a place that doesn't feel warm enough to call home and looking at fresh faces sometimes become unbearable.

This is a book where the author shares her tales of moving around and little narratives that strike as singular. You may not be the one who is able to relate to all of them but it is a good read in any case. And to all the people around the world who grew up with parents who moved a lot because of their jobs, this is a book I suggest. I know guys and girls that the feelings can never be replaced but reminiscing on those worrisome acceptance days is somewhat peaceful and makes you smile.

[J. Nam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book made me realize that not all TCKs have the same experiences - some are children of diplomats, others of company workers, others have immigrated for a variety of reasons. Depending on the place(s) we locate to, we have different experiences, and it also depends on the people we are connected to, our personalities, family environments, and even at what point in our lives we move to those places. There are so many different factors that color everyone's experiences differently, but one thing is the same: we are displaced, often have identity crises, and have emotional experiences we need to process but we are rarely taught how.

This book not only gives you a look into the various experiences TCKs have in this multi-cultural world, but how difficult it can be to navigate it all, no matter who you are and where you are. The crazy thing is these emotional processing anecdotes are important not only for TCKs but EVERYONE in this globalized world to hear. TCKs have always been bridges between cultures, and once again, this book shows how we can help each other not only to understand different cultures but through our unique experiences, we can shed new insight into something everyone in this generation needs to hear: processing and valuing emotional health.

Definitely a great read for those looking to see how people around the world lead different lives, and are curious on how to deal with cultural shock, emotional health, for yourself or for other TCKs and global nomads you may know!

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

We need more Asian voices in the TCK conversation, and I’m glad for Suazo’s voice. For her story, I give 4.5 stars because I appreciate her sharing her experiences and describing those deep emotions even though it was a bit hard to keep track of ages and moves and she skipped chunks of time. For the book itself, I give 3 stars due to style, formatting, and pacing choices and a few grammatical errors.

Suazo explores the themes of hidden immigrants, chameleons, and aliens, as well as the concept of shame in an Asian context, plus western vs eastern educational methods. There are frequent references to films that help to illustrate her points. She carried a lot as a child and so much of this book is her processing those experiences, including how one’s upbringing affects her both personally and interpersonally. She also writes about finding her faith in God. Often the writing style seemed more like a blog than a published book. The last 20% is a description of how Suazo was able to process her difficult experiences, how she recommends working through transitions, and what she has learned.

[Annamarie San Diego · Rating 5 out of 5]

One doesn’t have to be a Third Culture Kid or a diplomat’s child to fully immerse in Marie’s journey of growing up in South Korea, moving back to the Philippines at 11, moving again to Egypt where she realized it was people that made places into homes, and the years that followed in Korea and the Philippines where she processed her good and painful experiences and embraced her complex cultural identity.

Her unassuming way of narrative writing transports me to her memories in full color. Dried squid sold at Seoul Tower in the 90s. Being mesmerized by “plastic balloon”. Etiquette rules in embassy parties. The Nile river from Bible stories coming alive when she lived in Egypt.

Reading this is like listening to the warm voice of a friend (funny because Marie is a new friend of mine) and internally cheering for her as she embarks on a journey of personal growth.

Bonus points since it can be read in one sitting - an effective antidote to my mini reading slump 😆

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marie's story is relevant for anyone who has traversed cultures and for those who haven't. Reading her story can help those of us who have felt lost in the in-between of cultures gain clarity, and it can help those who haven't grow in empathy for the experiences of others. I appreciate her vulnerability about the challenges of her childhood experiences and about her journey towards emotional health and healing. So often we are taught to ignore or "get over" our emotions, but Marie helps draw attention to the important world of our emotions while also providing an interesting window into what it is like to be the daughter of a diplomat.

[Christy Carmean · Rating 5 out of 5]

So encouraged to read the memories and experiences of Marie as she lived the life of a diplomat’s daughter- growing up cross-culturally and navigating the repatriation to her “home” as well as her subsequent moves that have shaped her in significant ways. She is quick to mention both some of the hard things about her TCK upbringing as well as some of the amazing benefits. She shares some of the processes that have worked for her as she has explored the grief and loss that she stuffed in her early years. It’s an easy read with lots of moments of connection if you have lived overseas.

[Bea Francisco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marie has a penchant for transporting readers into her own world. Reading Tales of a Diplomat’s Daughter is a delightful and refreshing experience to say the least. You’ll find yourself smiling, laughing, tearing up, and rooting for her as she lets you in to the secret of navigating life as a third-culture kid. If you’re a frustrated diplomat/ambassador, travel enthusiast, and/or psychology buff like me— you’re in a for a treat!

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came to relate to being a TCK, and stayed for the personal insights of growth and understanding. It takes a long time to unpack and process the events that unfold in one’s life, and it’s not always an easy feat. But the author Marie has generously shared her reflections in her journey that will make any reader from any walk of life feel less alone in their corner of the world. A highly commendable read!

[Rebekah Rombaoa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has a special way of making you feel understood, especially if you've grown up in different cultures. It's a story about unique experiences, growth and the importance of understanding one's self.

I recommend that you read this book and take a dive into the colorful life of the author as she shares her engaging perspective on the world.

[Selma Fahmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A genuine and personal story of hurt and recovery in a third culture kid. Although very personal, there are experiences and struggles which resonate with me, a fellow TCK, and I know will resonate with many others who have done life on earth. In the last chapter Marie also shares the steps that helped her, and challenges us to take our own steps toward healing, with God’s help.

[Alison Loh · Rating 5 out of 5]

The way Marie narrates her story brings you into her world and gives you a glimpse into the challenges, lessons and wins. Her vulnerability and authenticity causes one to be able to relate on many fronts, regardless of whether you’re a TCK or not. Reading this has helped put words and perspectives to many things. Great read!

[Keith Gillespie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

Marie does a great job explaining how to take a step back and accept, acknowledge and thrive as a third culture kid. This book would be very helpful for anyone who lives cross culturally by choice or because of their families choice.