What do you think?
Rate this book
Nurse Papa
In 16 thoughtful meditations, pediatric nurse and father David Metzger connects the often befuddling and grueling task of parenting young, healthy kids with the reality of nursing sick children. Just as his experiences navigating the numerous pitfalls and comic blunders of early parenthood have informed his practice as a pediatric oncology nurse, his work as a caregiver to sick children has likewise informed his role as a father. The result is a moving, sometimes hysterical, often sad, but always honest look at what it means to be a caregiver. A unique perspective on the ins-and-outs of working in the medical field, Nurse Papa is not just a book for parents but for anyone who ponders life's big questions.
204 pages, Paperback
Published August 17, 2021
4 people are currently reading
18 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 27, 2021
Nurse Papa follows author David Metzger, a pediatric oncology nurse taking care of sick and dying children during the day and coming home to his wife and two healthy children at night. Metzger reflects on this “double life” and shares stories of his most memorable patients. Like all difficult jobs, his is both taxing and rewarding, full of highs and lows and teachable moments that accepts the unfairness of life and celebrates the happiness, silliness, and gratitude that it can bring along with the sorrow.
I recommend Nurse Papa to anyone who is fascinated by the medical field, particularly pediatric medicine, who can handle the sometimes brutal and heartbreaking tales within its pages, and for those who are looking for ways to maneuver through their own present or future moments of suffering. You don’t have to have known a child with cancer or have been a family member sitting at a bedside in order to appreciate the content of this book. You just have to be willing to accept the unacceptable and learn from its life lessons.
You can read my full review here: https://laurasbooksandblogs.com/nurse...
I recommend Nurse Papa to anyone who is fascinated by the medical field, particularly pediatric medicine, who can handle the sometimes brutal and heartbreaking tales within its pages, and for those who are looking for ways to maneuver through their own present or future moments of suffering. You don’t have to have known a child with cancer or have been a family member sitting at a bedside in order to appreciate the content of this book. You just have to be willing to accept the unacceptable and learn from its life lessons.
You can read my full review here: https://laurasbooksandblogs.com/nurse...
December 1, 2021
How do I do justice to a book that is so emotionally rich?
The style of this book is definitely very special, and honestly right up my alley. Reading it was like reading the journal of the author - the emotional highs and lows, the thoughtful moments, the mundane, the cute - everything is inside. This book never lectures you, or tells you what to think. It presents the author’s own vulnerabilities and innermost feelings, allowing you to see for yourself what’s going on - then lets you discern whether you agree or feel differently from what the author says.
Many times, I needed to stop simply because I came across a deeply reflective statement that just made me go “woah”. I would put the book down, stare in space for a while, contemplating the depth of what I just read. I mean, just take a look at these lines.
“Goodbye. Usually when we utter this simple and common word, what we really mean to communicate - if we think about it much at all - is that I will see you later and I wish you well until I do. Then, we usually go about our day, assuming that this entreaty will be unconditionally met. The goodbyes that I have been a part of in the hospital are often permanent though, and, in these moments, the well-wish feels much more profound. These sad farewells have changed the way I feel about leaving my children every morning. They have changed the way I say goodbye to them”.
He had me on the brink of tears countless times - not because it’s a sad story, but simply because I just felt so touched by the richness of the feelings. In between his stories though, he adds in what he called “breaks from the heartbreaks” - the saving graces that make me laugh in spite of the tears forming in my eyes.
This is definitely a more reflective kind of book - and there are numerous stories inside that I found absolutely stunning and beautiful. Some new facts I didn’t think about he brought into my awareness, some erroneous pre-existing notions he disputed showed me why.
I didn’t know that nurses talk to their patients after they’re dead as though they were still alive. “Hey buddy, I’ll be cleaning you now okay?” The author tells one of the deceased kids that he had cared for before washing him, combing his hair, and stroking his face. “The strange thing about dead bodies is that they don’t help at all. You can’t tell them to move, play with them. You have to do everything”
Is this illogical behaviour? Yes. But yet, it seems wrong to do otherwise, does it not? He describes in detail the stillness of death - the serene silence that pervades those shells of what was once a living, breathing creature. And you just feel him - feel the sadness of the author - and yet also his strength. The emotional tightrope that he walks on on a daily basis - navigating the fine line between being too emotionally attached and distancing himself so that he can perform his caregiving duties.
I didn’t know that the sibling of a sick child can have it very, very bad too. When parents focus all their energy on caring for a sick child, what happens to the sibling? Well here’s what happens. Feelings of guilt for being the healthy one. Feelings of neglect because of a lack of attention from the parents. Feelings of hatred for the brother who gets all the care - but yet immediately feeling shameful because “you're not the one with cancer”.
When he recounted the story of a child shouting at his parents, “I want my family back! I want my family back papa!” I really just lost it. Imagine that line coming from your 5 year old kid, while you are in the midst of caring for a 3 year old who is terminally ill and dying. It’s just heartbreaking.
Which brings me to the final anecdote that I will talk about - the relationship between the parents in the midst of caring for a dying child. The author has seen couples fall apart - but also tells of one pair that seemed to grow closer in spite of everything. He recounts the time when he saw a couple embracing and crying into each other, versus another pair whose wife was just aggressively calling her husband useless and berating him for doing nothing.
It says a lot when the parents hold onto each other, rather than just the kid that they're about to lose when it comes to these types of situations.
Caring for children is not an easy task - and the author delivers to us the joy, the pains, the sorrow, the laughter - all in one single book. The levity in which he views death is not something that is off-putting. Rather, it is a very human reaction to things that are beyond our control.
Sometimes, there is no why, is there? All you can ask is how.
The style of this book is definitely very special, and honestly right up my alley. Reading it was like reading the journal of the author - the emotional highs and lows, the thoughtful moments, the mundane, the cute - everything is inside. This book never lectures you, or tells you what to think. It presents the author’s own vulnerabilities and innermost feelings, allowing you to see for yourself what’s going on - then lets you discern whether you agree or feel differently from what the author says.
Many times, I needed to stop simply because I came across a deeply reflective statement that just made me go “woah”. I would put the book down, stare in space for a while, contemplating the depth of what I just read. I mean, just take a look at these lines.
“Goodbye. Usually when we utter this simple and common word, what we really mean to communicate - if we think about it much at all - is that I will see you later and I wish you well until I do. Then, we usually go about our day, assuming that this entreaty will be unconditionally met. The goodbyes that I have been a part of in the hospital are often permanent though, and, in these moments, the well-wish feels much more profound. These sad farewells have changed the way I feel about leaving my children every morning. They have changed the way I say goodbye to them”.
He had me on the brink of tears countless times - not because it’s a sad story, but simply because I just felt so touched by the richness of the feelings. In between his stories though, he adds in what he called “breaks from the heartbreaks” - the saving graces that make me laugh in spite of the tears forming in my eyes.
This is definitely a more reflective kind of book - and there are numerous stories inside that I found absolutely stunning and beautiful. Some new facts I didn’t think about he brought into my awareness, some erroneous pre-existing notions he disputed showed me why.
I didn’t know that nurses talk to their patients after they’re dead as though they were still alive. “Hey buddy, I’ll be cleaning you now okay?” The author tells one of the deceased kids that he had cared for before washing him, combing his hair, and stroking his face. “The strange thing about dead bodies is that they don’t help at all. You can’t tell them to move, play with them. You have to do everything”
Is this illogical behaviour? Yes. But yet, it seems wrong to do otherwise, does it not? He describes in detail the stillness of death - the serene silence that pervades those shells of what was once a living, breathing creature. And you just feel him - feel the sadness of the author - and yet also his strength. The emotional tightrope that he walks on on a daily basis - navigating the fine line between being too emotionally attached and distancing himself so that he can perform his caregiving duties.
I didn’t know that the sibling of a sick child can have it very, very bad too. When parents focus all their energy on caring for a sick child, what happens to the sibling? Well here’s what happens. Feelings of guilt for being the healthy one. Feelings of neglect because of a lack of attention from the parents. Feelings of hatred for the brother who gets all the care - but yet immediately feeling shameful because “you're not the one with cancer”.
When he recounted the story of a child shouting at his parents, “I want my family back! I want my family back papa!” I really just lost it. Imagine that line coming from your 5 year old kid, while you are in the midst of caring for a 3 year old who is terminally ill and dying. It’s just heartbreaking.
Which brings me to the final anecdote that I will talk about - the relationship between the parents in the midst of caring for a dying child. The author has seen couples fall apart - but also tells of one pair that seemed to grow closer in spite of everything. He recounts the time when he saw a couple embracing and crying into each other, versus another pair whose wife was just aggressively calling her husband useless and berating him for doing nothing.
It says a lot when the parents hold onto each other, rather than just the kid that they're about to lose when it comes to these types of situations.
Caring for children is not an easy task - and the author delivers to us the joy, the pains, the sorrow, the laughter - all in one single book. The levity in which he views death is not something that is off-putting. Rather, it is a very human reaction to things that are beyond our control.
Sometimes, there is no why, is there? All you can ask is how.
August 27, 2021
A refreshing collection of meditations from someone who has earned the right to share them. David pens some poignant thoughts, reflections, and experiences that are meant to bring awareness to others about moments that cannot be truly understood by others who have no exposure to those moments. It is insightful and I love that he shares through the voices of multiple parties: nurses, patients, and parents of those patients. Be prepared to grab some tissues because you will weep as read about and ponder some truly significant questions and experiences. From one nurse to another, thank you for taking the time to pen these meditations.
I received a complimentary copy, with thanks, from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are solely my own and freely given.
I received a complimentary copy, with thanks, from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are solely my own and freely given.
November 27, 2021
A truly emotional read. Eyeopening in its candor, this memoir by a pediatric oncology nurse (and father to little ones of his own) is filled with heartbreaking as well as sidesplitting tales that will stay with you long after you finish the last page.
August 29, 2021
I received an advance copy of, Nurse Papa, by David Metzger. This is a really good book about being an oncology nurse for children, and being a father.
October 15, 2021
Wow. I found myself in tears and laughing out loud. This book is both a feel good read and really made me think and dig deep. Great book!
July 22, 2022
Amazing book!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews