The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions

by Gary Roe

"The most comprehensive book on grief I’ve read. Well done!" – Dr. Craig Borchardt, President / CEO Hospice Brazos Valley

"Help! How do I do this?"

Loss strikes. Your heart is stunned. Your world is shaken. Someone special is missing.
 
Life will never be the same. You will never be the same.
 
Questions surface in your mind and heart. You try to make sense of it all. You struggle with overwhelming emotions and troubling thoughts. You tussle with what to do and when.

You need answers. You need compassionate, practical direction. You need a guide for this journey - a companion to walk with you through all the questions, wonderings, fears, and obstacles.

Welcome to The Grief Guidebook.

Multiple award-winning author, speaker, and grief specialist Gary Roe is a trusted voice in grief recovery who has been helping wounded, grieving hearts find hope and healing for more than three decades. Written with heartfelt compassion, this warm, easy-to-read, and practical book reads like a conversation with a close friend.
 
Gary says, "Over the past three decades, I've had the honor of walking with thousands of grieving hearts through the valley of loss. Along the way, I've been asked a multitude of questions about grief and grieving.

In this book, I've compiled and addressed more than 70 of the most common questions I've been asked.  Each chapter contains a question, a heartfelt response, and some suggestions for how to handle that issue.

The beauty of The Grief Guidebook is that you can read straight through or simply go to the question that's currently on your mind and heart. Consider this a reference manual for your grief process.

I hope you find The Grief Guidebook helpful, comforting, and healing. Please let me know what you think. Feel free to contact me anytime. I'm here to help, if I can."

You have questions. The Grief Guidebook has answers. Grab your copy today.

Genres: Grief

266 pages, Paperback

Published June 23, 2021

About the author

Hi. My name is Gary.

My story began with a childhood of sexual abuse and numerous other losses. When my life began to unravel as a teen, another family took me in and changed the trajectory of my life. My healing journey began.

Eager to help others heal and grow, my heart turned outward. Over the next three decades, I served as a campus minister, a church-planting missionary in Japan, an entrepreneur in Hawaii, and a pastor. I'm currently work as a writer, speaker, and hospice chaplain.

After walking through deep valleys with thousands of people, I can say the following with confidence:

• We've all been wounded
• Healing isn't for sissies
• We’re all designed for impact
• The world needs us
• We must heal

I'm here to help. I'm no guru or master of anything. I'm a fellow struggler. I still bear the scars of my wounds. I grieve, get anxious, worry, and battle fear regularly. But I'm healing, and I'm growing.

Stop by my website. Drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

Reviews

[Sylvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: The Grief Guidebook
Author: Gary Roe
Publisher: Healing Resources Publishing
Date: June 2021
Genre: Self Help Guidance

Author Gary Roe has written several thoughtful books on grieving but his latest book “The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions” may be his best one yet.
Carefully written, it addresses each aspect we undoubtedly feel as we progress along the bumpy road we call “grief”. Gary succeeds in describing each emotion, each overwhelming feeling which at times overtakes us when dealing with deep loss. The writing is based on both personal anecdotes and work experiences through his calling as a Pastor.
Gary offers workable suggestions, positive affirmations and step-by-step guidance on how we can approach hurdles as we work through our pain. It provides you with tools and guidance on how best to help yourself and to know when to ask others for assistance.
As a former counsellor I highly recommend this book for anyone working to establish their changing life, after suffering loss of a loved one. This is not a book to be left on the shelf – keep it handy for daily reference.
Sylvia Reddom

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have nothing but a positive review for Gary Roe's newest book, "The Grief Guidebook".
As a mother who lost my son to suicide just two months after my mom passed, and having lost two siblings along with many other losses, this book is a must-have. As a grief facilitator for the past six years this book is right on for those on the journey of grief, no matter where they are in their journey. So much of this book has already helped me in many areas of my grieving. Although I have journeyed far in my losses I still have a need for this book and the tools it offers me. I would encourage others to read this even if you are not on a grief journey, or even if you are years out from your loss. You will find helpful information and compassion throughout this book. This book can help people better understand those around them who are suffering in grief. I also recommend it as a gift for those you know who have lost a loved one or friend. I plan to use this in our grief program and give copies to participants.

[Susan Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe has quickly become my favorite grief author/grief specialist. Having experienced tremendous loss himself, he speaks with an amazing empathetic compassion and insight and definitely has his finger on the pulse of the grieving heart. His new book, “The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions,” is a must-read for anyone traveling this extremely difficult road, whether it be from the loss of a child, parent, sibling, other family member and/or friend, no matter how long it’s been. I find his words to be validating for whatever stage or stages of grief I’m in, and help me know that I am not alone and am not going crazy! What we as the grieving souls are experiencing emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and relationally are all a very normal part of the grief journey. He offers insightful and healing tips, suggestions, and specific “grief skills” to help navigate the rocky, lonely and difficult steps of this devastating path. I know I will keep this book close and refer to it often!

[Samantha Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nuggets of golden guidance towards understanding and self compassion when grieving.

Still grieving the recent loss of one of my beloved cats, I found this book to be invaluable, both supportive and comforting, very honest, real and kind. The layout of it means you can dip in and out to reveal support under whatever specific questions you may have or read through from start to finish, as I did. Gary writes with great compassion and is so en pointe.

Not a hint of pushiness or expectations of you to be on a certain timeline of how you experience grief, as I've experienced from many people I know, and thus in itself really truely supports you through your own grief journey.

Each question is covered succinctly, meaning its easy to absorb, without being overwhelmed and I found so easy to relate to.

This is a book for life, to help support and guide you through the process of life and passing. A MUST read and I couldn't recommend more wholeheartedly!

[Barbara Milburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a fairly new Vilomah (a parent who has lost a child), Gary Roe's book "Shattered; Surviving the Loss of a Child" helped to comfort me at a time when emotions were really raw & when I felt absolutely no one understood my pain. Now, 6 months later, I still have way more questions than answers but Gary's newest book "The Grief Guidebook" takes some of the most frequently asked questions, and puts them all together so they are easy to find, with answers that are even easier to comprehend. I find myself going to it multiple times every day. Not only does it help to enlighten me but it also helps to insure me that my fears & concerns are normal and that I am not a candidate for the local mental health facility. At least not yet anyway. Thank you Gary for helping me not to feel quite so alone.

[Louie Lyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Pastor who has been leading Grief Support Groups for close to 30 years I have shared and used many books and articles with my groups. Gary Roe has been one of my best resources. I have suggested past books written by Gary Roe through the years, but this book, "The Grief Guidebook, tops them all. I only wish that when I lost my wife 28 years ago there was such a book as this. This book is a book that answers feelings and questions a person going through loss has. All one needs to do is go to the Table of Contents to see a short chapter that expresses the feeling they are going through. Then, they can quickly turn to that page to read what Gary has written. This is a resource I plan on providing those in Grief Support Groups I will lead in the future.

Rev. Louie Lyon
Sun City, AZ

[Julie Saeger Nierenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treasure is this book by Gary Roe! He consolidates the many common questions and obstacles to healing faced by those who grieve any conceivable loss. Roe cuts through the fog of bereavement and with a gentle compassionate tone addresses the many challenges of being in grief after loss. He offers thematically organized Q&A, case scenarios to which readers can relate, and affirmations readers may use to guide them as they continue their own unique journey through grief. I highly recommend this book to anyone in grief and to anyone in a grief support role.
- Julie Saeger Nierenberg, author of "Daddy, This Is It: Being-with My Dying Dad" and "Journey's End: Death, Dying, and the End of Life"

[Roomroom]

When I started reading this book, I could tell that the author has listened to countless grieving hearts sharing with him their own experiences with grief. This is where his knowledge comes from. There is such a clear description of what grief feels like that I wish I could have read this book ten years ago when it was my time to walk into pain like no other. There are also practical suggestions that may help you deal with your overwhelming feelings. Chapters are short. Language is easy to follow. This book plays the part of a seasoned friend and companion who will serve you as a guide and helper. It will validate your experience, making it recognizable to you in a warm, humble, yet knowledgeable way.

[Barbara Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe's new book, "The Grief Guidebook" will help those grieving, whether the loss is recent or years ago.   When I lost my husband, I was devastated. Having a book like this Guidebook when facing that kind of loss can help provide answers to the questions those going through the journey of grief have. I will use this book again and again to help me with my loss of my husband. It will be two years in September but I found this Guidebook relevant to where I am today.  Thank you Gary for always knowing just what those in grief need and for being a willing servant of God to share that with us.  I plan to give this Guidebook to everyone I know who has lost someone they love. 

[Mhines11 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish this book was already in existence when I became widowed. Gary Roe does it again when he gets right to the heart of the grieving individual. Each chapter is very short, is written with compassion and understanding, and covers very specific questions. He acknowledges emotions, affirmations and offers specific skills to get through that particular moment of grief. I loved that the book’s chapters each stand alone and do not have to be read sequentially. A person can look up a chapter that meets his or her particular struggle. I not only have the Kindle version, but I purchased the paperback to give to someone who may need it.

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief can be a lonely road, met with people who often don’t know quite what to say, making the road seem even lonelier. In Gary’s book, you find a friend on the grief journey, who walks you through various pit stops you will face along the way with grace, comfort, practical help, and words of kindness. This handbook will become a friend who you return to again and again as you experience the waves of grief that come. This is a must have for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one, or hard seasons of grief, and needs reassurance that they are not alone, and that it is not the end.

[Stephanie A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe has nailed it, yet again. As I navigate these unknown grief waters after the loss of my husband, this guidebook is an invaluable resource for so many of my anxieties and my crushed heart. The chapters are short and easily digestible, and so very very pertinent. So many statements echo my confusions and feelings, and it's such a comfort to "hear" I'm not alone. I purposely ordered the paperback, and I have marked many chapters that I go back to, time and again. Gary's compassion, understanding and relatable suggestions continue to guide me on this journey I never hoped to travel.

[Dennis Baer · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian widower, just 18 months into my grief journey, I found The Grief Guidebook to be excellent in dealing with the myriad experiences, stages of grief, and questions that I have faced, and that I am certain all grievers grapple with on this, all too often, lonely road. This book addresses every grief experience in a spiritual, emotional, and practical way, and has already become my go-to resource. I highly recommend this easy-to-read, and comforting book for anyone at any point on their grief journey.

[Dorothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a workbook you can use throughout your grief journey, one to dip into as feelings/questions arise. The author understands loss, and the experience gained from grief counseling over the years addresses all the pain that arises along the way. The book addresses questions, provides a guide to understanding, and offers suggestions for coping. The last section, Finding Hope, is particularly helpful when you’re feeling hopeless. It is a really helpful guide; I wish I’d found the book earlier in my grieving.

[Cheryl Poppe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I lost my husband of 54 years to cancer four months ago and there have been many days I truly felt my grief was going to consume me. I'm an avid reader and began searching for a book that would help me deal with my continual tears and heartache and am SO thankful to have discovered Gary Roe's "Grief Guidebook." Thanks to each chapter's Topic, Affirmation and Suggestion, I now have a resource that gives me eternal hope that I can deal with my grief and begin the journey to heal my broken heart. Thank you, Gary, for writing such a VITAL resource!!!!

[Rita Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put it down and read it through the first day!! I am widowed from my wonderful husband and this book touched my heart in so many ways and answered many, many questions I had. So, I’m really not mentally ill but do need to process the grief a bit differently. I have never been alone before, so the parts of the book about “reaching out” to safe persons touched a nerve. As a Christian, I really related to that section and how my relationship with God has been affected even though I know He is always with me shrouding me in His Mercy and Grace.

[Jane Kemp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe’s previous books have been a great help and blessing to me. What I like about this one is the easy to read short chapters and the ability to jump around depending what I’m experiencing. The affirmations and suggestions in each chapter are spelled out clearly and concisely, which is really helpful when it’s hard to focus because of grief. I highly recommend this book for people currently experiencing grief as well as for those who interact with, in any capacity, people dealing with grief.

[Nancy Coman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief in all its dimensions can be so self-consuming. Having the availability of this excellent, practical step-by-step guide with affirmations, quotes, suggestions, grief skills and more, can make all the difference in the reality of someone, such as a family member, or friend dying or experiencing their death. In reading and applying “The Grief Guidebook”, by Gary Roe, you may discover the ability to still be open to hope, healing and recovery. You will find, you will be able to continue to LIVE even with your grief. Such an inspirational and timeless book!

[Gay-Dee Bloss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best practical book to answer all your questions when faced with the death of a loved one

One of the best books I've read on grief. I wish I had this book when my husband died. It answers all the questions you have when you are facing death and grieving . Practical and answers your questions of how you cope with the journey of grief. Gary Roe lived and knows what he shares. No one can help you if they have not gone through grief. His other books helped me immensely when I didn't know where to turn. This book is by far one of his best books.

[Hadassah Treu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I lost my husband last year and two of Gary Roe's books have been my constant companions in processing my grief. However, this book is truly a guidebook. I love that the book covers all aspects of life affected by grief: emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and relational. The tips and practical suggestions at the end of each chapter are invaluable. A powerful and extremely helpful resource for every grieving heart!

[Madeleine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A valuable compass through the many challenges of grief.
This extensive Guidebook covers all aspects of grief, from dealing with the immediate loss, to learning to live into the future without your loved one, and how to create new bonds with them. The practical suggestions gave me new and valuable input on how to live with the loss of my daughter. Gary shares his deep understanding of grief in his signature warm and caring manner.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I wish had had thirteen years ago as I endured my first great loss with the death of my mom. The question and answer format is perfect for the grieving heart that can only concentrate on small pieces of information at a time. It is a book you can keep coming back to as you experience new losses or have new questions as you walk your grief journey. It feels like a trusted friend reassuring you that you will be okay, even if you aren’t sure that is even possible.

[Lynette McCombs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having lost my husband of 35+ years, this book has been a God-send in navigating such deep grief. Gary has compiled the 'Grief Guidebook' as a must-have in anyone's journey of grief. It covers such a vast array of topics faced in grief with thoughtful understanding and it holds valuable practical application throughout. I read about myself and issues that I am facing as I journey through widowhood on nearly every page. This will become a valuable "go-to" resource."

[Floy Creveling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found the format of questions, answers, and suggestions in The Grief Guidebook very useful as I experience the "fog" of grieving my husband. The frequent reminders to "breathe deeply" have proven invaluable to me. I will be gifting copies of this excellent book to others who grieve because it is so helpful, comforting, user friendly, and it pertains to the various grief situations that come into our lives.

[Patricia Dyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

My review;
This grief handbook helped me so much, and I think anyone grieving should have! I love the suggestions given, like writing a list of what is different. I think it has so many of the questions that people ask. It was like my support that I can go to anytime. It is not just for people who have lost. It Should also be given to connected to that person; family members and friends to help them also. Everyone that is grieving should have!

Sent from my iPhone

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gary Roe, the author of this book is a grief coach and minister.

All of his books are very helpful in getting through a confusing time, which grief is.

This one is in short chapters and could easily be read as needed, going to the particular chapter that covers what the grieving person needs help with at that moment. Each chapter has suggestions for putting the help into practice.

[Belinda Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Grief Guidebook, simple straight forward, easy to digest when you hunger for answers but are too weak mentally and emotionally to sit down and read a whole book or even a whole chapter. This book becomes your tool .I can go back to any given day and seek solutions to what's laying heavy on my mind.

[Ginny Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Grief Guidebook

This is a wonderful book written from the heart. It is easy to read and let’s us know it’s okay to grieve and it’s okay to be different in our grief. The Grief Guidebook suggests healthy ways to work through grief in whatever stage you are experiencing. I recommend it for anyone who is grieving now or has in the past.

[Sheila Bergquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having been through a lot of grief, I have read many, many books on the subject. The Grief Guidebook by Gary Roe is the absolute answer to my prayers. It covers everything you feel during grief and gives you soothing answers as to why you are feeling that way. It lets you know you aren't going crazy and is gives me so much comfort. I can go back to it time and time again.

[Bonnie Hamilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

My son died 9 months ago and this book has been one of the best tools that I have found. This book made me feel like the things I was feeling and struggling with were normal. And that I wasn’t going crazy. This book brought me so much peace and understanding. Thanks Gary for writing another amazing book!!