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Ship-Bored (Esprios Classics): Illustrated by May Wilson Preston
Julian Leonard Street (1879-1947) was an American author, born in Chicago. He was a reporter on the New York Mail and Express (later Evening Mail) in 1899 and had charge of its dramatic department in 1900-01. His writings, characterized by a rather obvious but yet a genuine sense of humor, My Enemy the Motor (1908), The Need of Change (1909) and Paris à la Carte (1912). He made contributions to magazines. Street twice won an O. Henry Award. His short story, Mr. Bisbee's Princess, published in Redbook and anthologized in Great American Short O. Henry Memorial Prize Winning Stories 1919-1934, won the award in 1925. The story was adapted as the 1926 W. C. Fields silent film, So's Your Old Man.
42 pages, Paperback
First published October 16, 2009
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July 24, 2017
Sort of cute bit of fluff about what to expect on a transatlantic voyage. Written in 1911, it first appeared in the then popular Everybody's Magazine but at Gutenberg you can see a 1914 edition, with illustrations.
Basically Street describes the various types of passengers on such a voyage, and explains where he likes to spend his time while crossing and why. I got a little turned around when he mentions the different attitudes "on bored" when you compare the outward bound trip and the homeward bound. No sooner had he said that than we were on our way back to New York and worrying about the upcoming Customs inspections all without ever setting foot on the Continent!
I have two highlights to mention. Well, a curiosity and a highlight. The curiosity is that the piece was dedicated to Booth Tarkington. I wonder why?
The highlight is the way a particular first-time traveler handled the obnoxious passenger who has to make sure everyone knows he has crossed the ocean zillions of times. I wish I could think of such replies when I need them, instead of days later.
"You see, there is something very ignominious in making a first transatlantic trip. No one should ever do it. Everybody should begin with the second or third trip. Yet I remember a little Kansas City lawyer I met on the New Amsterdam, who didn't seem to be ashamed of owning up. He was bald-headed and, despite the twinkling eyes behind his spectacles, solemn-looking. His bald head felt a draught from an open port-hole during dinner on the first night out, and it was when he asked the "waiter" to "close the window" that the "seasoned traveller" (as they love to call themselves) snapped up his cue. Turning in his seat and bringing his wide white shirt-front to bear full upon his victim, he raised a foghorn voice and asked the dreaded question:
"Ever been abroad before?"
We all squirmed with sympathy for the little man.
"No," he replied, looking up with a mild, innocent expression.
The shirt-front bulged; the watery blue eyes looked up and down the table for attention, then:
"That so?" with a patronising air of feigned surprise. "I've been over thirty-four times!"
"Ever been in Omaha?" returned the lawyer blandly.
"Why—no."
"That so?" replied the lawyer, with fine mimetic quality. "I go there every week!"
That's a good way to burst an ego bubble, isn't it!
I can imagine the readers of Everybody's Magazine enjoying this little story back in the day. For me it was cute but nothing special, except for that lawyer.
(Street contributed two recipes to the Stag Cook Book, one for fish in a sauce that involved oysters and shrimp, and another for roasted duck in a complicated orange sauce. I doubt if he ever made them himself, but he did say he knew how to order these favorite dishes at certain French restaurants.)
Basically Street describes the various types of passengers on such a voyage, and explains where he likes to spend his time while crossing and why. I got a little turned around when he mentions the different attitudes "on bored" when you compare the outward bound trip and the homeward bound. No sooner had he said that than we were on our way back to New York and worrying about the upcoming Customs inspections all without ever setting foot on the Continent!
I have two highlights to mention. Well, a curiosity and a highlight. The curiosity is that the piece was dedicated to Booth Tarkington. I wonder why?
The highlight is the way a particular first-time traveler handled the obnoxious passenger who has to make sure everyone knows he has crossed the ocean zillions of times. I wish I could think of such replies when I need them, instead of days later.
"You see, there is something very ignominious in making a first transatlantic trip. No one should ever do it. Everybody should begin with the second or third trip. Yet I remember a little Kansas City lawyer I met on the New Amsterdam, who didn't seem to be ashamed of owning up. He was bald-headed and, despite the twinkling eyes behind his spectacles, solemn-looking. His bald head felt a draught from an open port-hole during dinner on the first night out, and it was when he asked the "waiter" to "close the window" that the "seasoned traveller" (as they love to call themselves) snapped up his cue. Turning in his seat and bringing his wide white shirt-front to bear full upon his victim, he raised a foghorn voice and asked the dreaded question:
"Ever been abroad before?"
We all squirmed with sympathy for the little man.
"No," he replied, looking up with a mild, innocent expression.
The shirt-front bulged; the watery blue eyes looked up and down the table for attention, then:
"That so?" with a patronising air of feigned surprise. "I've been over thirty-four times!"
"Ever been in Omaha?" returned the lawyer blandly.
"Why—no."
"That so?" replied the lawyer, with fine mimetic quality. "I go there every week!"
That's a good way to burst an ego bubble, isn't it!
I can imagine the readers of Everybody's Magazine enjoying this little story back in the day. For me it was cute but nothing special, except for that lawyer.
(Street contributed two recipes to the Stag Cook Book, one for fish in a sauce that involved oysters and shrimp, and another for roasted duck in a complicated orange sauce. I doubt if he ever made them himself, but he did say he knew how to order these favorite dishes at certain French restaurants.)
Displaying 1 of 1 review