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The Merchant System #1
The Merchant System (Book One): A LitRPG Fantasy Series
Money is power!
Even in a world where gods walk amongst men, demons roam free, and dragons soar high, being rich is still a genuine advantage.
Equipped with the power to become the apotheosis of all merchants-- past and present-- the young Jacob ventures forth as he learns there may be more to life than just having stacks of cash.
---
Jacob's life took a turn for the worse after being abandoned at a very young age.
Persecuted by his home village and cursed with many misfortunes, the only fortunate event in his melancholic existence came when he was taken a slave to a noble house.
This sole 'good thing' didn't last long, though. One fateful day– his sad life ended at the tender age of fourteen.
Fortunately, death wasn't the end of it for him. Reawakening, he feels the same as before, except for one minor change--
'Ding! System Initializing... Now activating the [Merchant's Hack].'
Even in a world where gods walk amongst men, demons roam free, and dragons soar high, being rich is still a genuine advantage.
Equipped with the power to become the apotheosis of all merchants-- past and present-- the young Jacob ventures forth as he learns there may be more to life than just having stacks of cash.
---
Jacob's life took a turn for the worse after being abandoned at a very young age.
Persecuted by his home village and cursed with many misfortunes, the only fortunate event in his melancholic existence came when he was taken a slave to a noble house.
This sole 'good thing' didn't last long, though. One fateful day– his sad life ended at the tender age of fourteen.
Fortunately, death wasn't the end of it for him. Reawakening, he feels the same as before, except for one minor change--
'Ding! System Initializing... Now activating the [Merchant's Hack].'
291 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 14, 2021
129 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Cobyboy
30 books17 followersI read, I write, I play (sometimes)
A dinosaur enthusiast (If that exists)
Jacob Cavalida's tired, alter ego
A dinosaur enthusiast (If that exists)
Jacob Cavalida's tired, alter ego
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
August 15, 2022
Unbelievably bad beginning.
The premise sounds interesting; really wanted to get into this book and enjoy it.
But the writing. The grammar is all over the place, and the story... The protagonist isn't supposed to be some kind of superhuman archetype, just a regular teenager. But then during a cross-country trip he gets literally and figuratively stabbed in the back with a poisoned dagger. He wakes up in the nearby woods surrounded by four "young wolves." He bullrushes one, and beats it insensible - while the other three apparently stand back to watch, just like good bad-action-movie henchmen are wont to do. Next, he lifts the unconscious body of the first wolf and wields it as a weapon to fight off the other three, who have apparently decided solo fight time is over. Finally, one of the wolves makes a leap attack and, in a single bite, RIPS OFF THE PROGATONIST'S ARM.
We'll, that's it, he's done for but for deus ex machina, right?
Nope, the wolves are apparently distracted by his arm, so the protagonist, BLEEDING PROFUSELY, simply runs off - far enough to feel safe and secure - where he THEN attempts to stop the bleeding.
AFTER running a solid several hundred yards.
With an arm ripped off at the shoulder and the accompanying untreated blood loss.
Yeah, no, I can push through the grammar issues, but grammar plus just ridiculously bad writing? Yep, I'm done.
The premise sounds interesting; really wanted to get into this book and enjoy it.
But the writing. The grammar is all over the place, and the story... The protagonist isn't supposed to be some kind of superhuman archetype, just a regular teenager. But then during a cross-country trip he gets literally and figuratively stabbed in the back with a poisoned dagger. He wakes up in the nearby woods surrounded by four "young wolves." He bullrushes one, and beats it insensible - while the other three apparently stand back to watch, just like good bad-action-movie henchmen are wont to do. Next, he lifts the unconscious body of the first wolf and wields it as a weapon to fight off the other three, who have apparently decided solo fight time is over. Finally, one of the wolves makes a leap attack and, in a single bite, RIPS OFF THE PROGATONIST'S ARM.
We'll, that's it, he's done for but for deus ex machina, right?
Nope, the wolves are apparently distracted by his arm, so the protagonist, BLEEDING PROFUSELY, simply runs off - far enough to feel safe and secure - where he THEN attempts to stop the bleeding.
AFTER running a solid several hundred yards.
With an arm ripped off at the shoulder and the accompanying untreated blood loss.
Yeah, no, I can push through the grammar issues, but grammar plus just ridiculously bad writing? Yep, I'm done.
May 16, 2022
2.5 Insert Marble On Open Wound To Regrow Limb Stars
The Merchants System book 1 by Cobyboy.
It saddens me how much this work of literature could be improved simply by changing the writing format. The hardest obstacle to overcome in finishing this tale was one sentence style paragraphs. It unnaturally and unnecessarily breaks up the story. Adjusting to this form of writing makes the introduction all the more confusing.
Unfortunately, there is also the many grammatical errors. My advice to writer would be a firm edit, and restructuring of the story. That way we could more firmly grasp the plot and pertinent details without struggling to divine the true meaning of the words on the page through a kind of broken English.
The concept behind the plot is barely formed but I think with more development could be amazingly interesting. The bare bones of it now; with our stumbling naive Mc, and this inference of his past life or great plan is an intriguing beginning to a great plot arc. I don't believe it's fully formed at this point. The little bits of information gleaned barely form an entire thought. Which is both making me curious, and frustrated at the limited knowledge offered.. is this what the author intended?
If you're grammar police, you should back slowly away from this work, I fear it would leave you unhinged. However, it is also my belief that the foundation behind this book is interesting enough to partially make up for this aspect. I truly believe even without the listed edits/improvements it's an enjoyable way to pass some time.
This book does feel incomplete, more like a sparse first Volume in a comic series than anything. There's no resolution into the Vampires, they literally leave the city while this disaster is occuring.. The confusing mess involving Lisa is only basically explained and poorly laid out in its entirety. We're introduced to so many characters with enough detail that they appear important, but it's rarely explained in what way the individuals are?
There's no real character development, even for the Mc... Except nonsensical proclamations of a 'great plan' for him wandering aimlessly and ignorantly through life, we only really know his family and old Town were killed and he became a slave. Which he felt thankful for? Everyone seems to be treated fairly as a slave? And it's merely for a contracted loyatly? Different form of manager and employee, without the usual darker undertones? The story only really mentions basic background for the Grand Empire and Divine Empire.....
Yet, I still want to learn more... it's so upsetting that this fascinating plot arc is sullied by all the trivial errors...
The Merchants System book 1 by Cobyboy.
It saddens me how much this work of literature could be improved simply by changing the writing format. The hardest obstacle to overcome in finishing this tale was one sentence style paragraphs. It unnaturally and unnecessarily breaks up the story. Adjusting to this form of writing makes the introduction all the more confusing.
Unfortunately, there is also the many grammatical errors. My advice to writer would be a firm edit, and restructuring of the story. That way we could more firmly grasp the plot and pertinent details without struggling to divine the true meaning of the words on the page through a kind of broken English.
The concept behind the plot is barely formed but I think with more development could be amazingly interesting. The bare bones of it now; with our stumbling naive Mc, and this inference of his past life or great plan is an intriguing beginning to a great plot arc. I don't believe it's fully formed at this point. The little bits of information gleaned barely form an entire thought. Which is both making me curious, and frustrated at the limited knowledge offered.. is this what the author intended?
If you're grammar police, you should back slowly away from this work, I fear it would leave you unhinged. However, it is also my belief that the foundation behind this book is interesting enough to partially make up for this aspect. I truly believe even without the listed edits/improvements it's an enjoyable way to pass some time.
This book does feel incomplete, more like a sparse first Volume in a comic series than anything. There's no resolution into the Vampires, they literally leave the city while this disaster is occuring.. The confusing mess involving Lisa is only basically explained and poorly laid out in its entirety. We're introduced to so many characters with enough detail that they appear important, but it's rarely explained in what way the individuals are?
There's no real character development, even for the Mc... Except nonsensical proclamations of a 'great plan' for him wandering aimlessly and ignorantly through life, we only really know his family and old Town were killed and he became a slave. Which he felt thankful for? Everyone seems to be treated fairly as a slave? And it's merely for a contracted loyatly? Different form of manager and employee, without the usual darker undertones? The story only really mentions basic background for the Grand Empire and Divine Empire.....
Yet, I still want to learn more... it's so upsetting that this fascinating plot arc is sullied by all the trivial errors...
January 10, 2023
Good idea but needs polishing
The overall premise is interesting, but it needs some editing and polishing. Wish I could give it a 2.5/5.
The story comes across as choppy rather than flowing naturally. This is made worse by frequent side story chapters that often serve little to no purpose.
There are frequent grammar mistakes, including misuse of common phrases, leading me to wonder if English is the writer's first language.
The idea is just interesting enough for me to read book 2, hoping that the author's writing/editing improves.
The overall premise is interesting, but it needs some editing and polishing. Wish I could give it a 2.5/5.
The story comes across as choppy rather than flowing naturally. This is made worse by frequent side story chapters that often serve little to no purpose.
There are frequent grammar mistakes, including misuse of common phrases, leading me to wonder if English is the writer's first language.
The idea is just interesting enough for me to read book 2, hoping that the author's writing/editing improves.
February 21, 2023
DNF, made it 50% through before putting it down.
This reads like a translation from an East Asian novel. I don't know if it is or not, but it feels like it.
It also feels like a rough draft. Everything seems kind of surface level without any deep thoughts or interactions, almost like we are reading the author's outline.
This was not what I expected based upon the blurb.
This reads like a translation from an East Asian novel. I don't know if it is or not, but it feels like it.
It also feels like a rough draft. Everything seems kind of surface level without any deep thoughts or interactions, almost like we are reading the author's outline.
This was not what I expected based upon the blurb.
February 3, 2022
2% dnf. The writing style is so disjointed. It feels like someone threw a thesaurus at this book, many large words stuck but all the paragraphs were knocked loose.
September 2, 2021
Convenient and dim
The story is basically filled with things that just make everything for the main character convenient and even when there is a simple solution to the main characters problem right at his finger tips that he uses a lot for issues that doesnt really matter he seems to forget about it when it does. People seem to just accept what he says as the truth without question. The main conflict could have been dealt with and out of his hands before he even stepped within the first settlement but instead he seems to just forget it. He acts like the main conflict is a big deal for him worrying about it but then just kind of does whatever and only really does anything about it when his had is forced by shear coincidence and even then he's not really the one doing anything about it. With how he uses his system it feels like watching superman get beaten up by a mugger because he forgot he's dressed up as superman and not Clark kent
The story is basically filled with things that just make everything for the main character convenient and even when there is a simple solution to the main characters problem right at his finger tips that he uses a lot for issues that doesnt really matter he seems to forget about it when it does. People seem to just accept what he says as the truth without question. The main conflict could have been dealt with and out of his hands before he even stepped within the first settlement but instead he seems to just forget it. He acts like the main conflict is a big deal for him worrying about it but then just kind of does whatever and only really does anything about it when his had is forced by shear coincidence and even then he's not really the one doing anything about it. With how he uses his system it feels like watching superman get beaten up by a mugger because he forgot he's dressed up as superman and not Clark kent
June 3, 2023
Okay, but not great
I wrote a longer review preiously, but it was more of a rant.
To summarise, there are too many grand plots behind every mundane thing (this doesn't happen, but things like this do - main character kicks a random pebble, and it breaks a seal releasing a grand demon). Prices for things in the system make no sense, e.g. buying something that takes 680+ years to make a profit/saving is a 'good deal'????. Finally, the characters and the world feel flat, and when the author trys to describe stuff they do it in odd ways - e.g. they describe a groups teamwork as being like that of parts in an aquaduct... what?
I hoped this story would be more merchant, less adventurer with a shop in his pocket.
I wrote a longer review preiously, but it was more of a rant.
To summarise, there are too many grand plots behind every mundane thing (this doesn't happen, but things like this do - main character kicks a random pebble, and it breaks a seal releasing a grand demon). Prices for things in the system make no sense, e.g. buying something that takes 680+ years to make a profit/saving is a 'good deal'????. Finally, the characters and the world feel flat, and when the author trys to describe stuff they do it in odd ways - e.g. they describe a groups teamwork as being like that of parts in an aquaduct... what?
I hoped this story would be more merchant, less adventurer with a shop in his pocket.
May 31, 2023
Not sure its good but its different
Could have used an editor. Story kind of wonders and skips. The Christian quote right at the end was jarring, knocked me right out of the story. The lack of resolution at the end was also bad form. A good epilogue leaves the story in A safe resting place with a hint or two about the next book.
Could have used an editor. Story kind of wonders and skips. The Christian quote right at the end was jarring, knocked me right out of the story. The lack of resolution at the end was also bad form. A good epilogue leaves the story in A safe resting place with a hint or two about the next book.
July 7, 2021
Though a little light on the storyline
The storyline is very thin in this book but it was a good book I just wish we got more of it with a little more depth.
The storyline is very thin in this book but it was a good book I just wish we got more of it with a little more depth.
July 12, 2021
Entertaining
A good entertaining story well worth buying not an author I have read before but one I will look forward to reading again
A good entertaining story well worth buying not an author I have read before but one I will look forward to reading again
October 31, 2021
Really Enjoyed
Dang it i read the book in one day cant wait for the next book. Oh by the way i really enjoyed this book i hope more will come.
Dang it i read the book in one day cant wait for the next book. Oh by the way i really enjoyed this book i hope more will come.
October 10, 2022
Unknown merchant
A short shory. A good read. Seems to be a set up book for a possible future series. Also a big question mark as to who or what the boy is.
A short shory. A good read. Seems to be a set up book for a possible future series. Also a big question mark as to who or what the boy is.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews