How to Support Your Non-Binary Family Member

by Allyssa Giannini

Unbound

Reviews

[Liam Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw this zine on the shelf of my local library, and since I have a non-binary family member I'd like to support, if seemed perfect for me! In very clear, empathetic, and often humorous prose, the author writes a guide that helps the reader work through their own feelings on their family member coming out, learning what non-binary gender even is, and how to be an ally. The key points at the heart of this zine are loving your family member for the human being they are, and understanding that each person's experience of gender is going to be unique. That being said, Giannini also includes a glossary of terms that are commonly used.

I would say that I knew a lot of what is covered in this zine going in, but I still found it helpful and would recommend it to anyone wanting to understand more about non-binary people.

Favorite Passages:

"My point is, none of this gender stuff is set in stone. It's constantly evolving. I don't know if it'll soften the blow or not, but raising the 'right' kind of boy or girl is not nearly as important as raising a decent person. Being a stand-up human isn't gender specific." - p. 13

"DON'T FORGE TO SCREAM:

Accept them as they are
Ask how you can support them
Affirm with desired language
Apologize if you mess up
Acquire knowledge about gender
Advocate for them to others" - p. 37

Always use singular they as a placeholder until you know someone's pronouns, and then once you know their pronouns, use them! It's not okay to continue using they/them pronouns to refer to someone who expressly doesn't use those pronouns." - p. 39

[Silas · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a thinking person who has nonbinary and trans friends, I have encountered most of the language here before and worked it out, so this was a tad basic. Still, sometimes people need basic, and it's a good place to start from for helping out the generally clueless understand. One of those nonbinary friends asked if people wanted a book to read, and since I am someone who thinks and cares, I said sure, just in case there were more things to learn. It turns out I mostly learned that I knew a lot of it already, but that's good, too. It's always good to go over the basics now and again, and learning that I have mostly gotten to where I have it right feels good, too. I am sure there are ways to learn from beyond here (and there is a good list of resources at the end of this zine), but this is a good place to start from.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great resource for family AND friends, too. Best I've seen by far, and short and succinct. Thank you, Allyssa Giannini! I plan on buying a copy of my own soon. <3

[Isabelle Tranner]

found this read on etsy and it's amazing!