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Quit Being So Good
When Kristi Hemmer was eight, she was the Connect Four champ; nobody wanted to play with her. When she was twelve, she was on the Future Problem Solvers of America championship team; people told her that if she was too smart, boys wouldn’t like her. When she was eighteen, her professor told her she was too smart to be a teacher. When she was thirty-three and principal of an all-girls school, a city council member told her she was too young. The underlying message is one that every female of every age is told again and again: You’re too much. Quit being you. You don’t belong. Quit being so good.
Quit Being So Good is a collection of fifteen stories from the frontlines of being female. It is a call to action for women to unapologetically be their most powerful selves for the sake of building a safer, more equitable world. The key to being unapologetic (maybe even dismantling the patriarchy itself) is in these three simple steps. 1. Take up space. 2. Be first. 3. Look for the helpers.
Reading this book will inspire women to be self-assured, to be their “possible,” and to take up the space they need to be more of themselves—not less. And in the process, women will indeed change the world. As Malala says, “You will never know who stands with you if you don’t stand up first."
It’s time to stand up first. To take up space. To put more women in power. To create a safer and more equal world for women and girls. And to MOXIE ON.
Quit Being So Good is a collection of fifteen stories from the frontlines of being female. It is a call to action for women to unapologetically be their most powerful selves for the sake of building a safer, more equitable world. The key to being unapologetic (maybe even dismantling the patriarchy itself) is in these three simple steps. 1. Take up space. 2. Be first. 3. Look for the helpers.
Reading this book will inspire women to be self-assured, to be their “possible,” and to take up the space they need to be more of themselves—not less. And in the process, women will indeed change the world. As Malala says, “You will never know who stands with you if you don’t stand up first."
It’s time to stand up first. To take up space. To put more women in power. To create a safer and more equal world for women and girls. And to MOXIE ON.
131 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2021
5 people are currently reading
91 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
August 9, 2021
Personally, I was not a fan of the writing format. In some places it worked, in others it didn't. The author jumps around all through time, telling brief stories and sharing snippets of experience. The jumping in time didn't bother me. But there were some places I wanted more, to hear more of her experience. And there were some sections that didn't seem to serve a purpose.
That being said, I love the overall message of this book. As a woman on a path of growth, as a mother to a daughter, these are the things I need to hear, these are the lessons I want my daughter to learn in her youth.
I really enjoyed her educator perspective, and the fact that she cited information and other works. I feel like that perspective gave me things to look for as my daughter gets older. Particularly the knowledge that girls confidence spikes at nine, then they start to shrink away. I will definitely be rereading this in the future.
That being said, I love the overall message of this book. As a woman on a path of growth, as a mother to a daughter, these are the things I need to hear, these are the lessons I want my daughter to learn in her youth.
I really enjoyed her educator perspective, and the fact that she cited information and other works. I feel like that perspective gave me things to look for as my daughter gets older. Particularly the knowledge that girls confidence spikes at nine, then they start to shrink away. I will definitely be rereading this in the future.
May 11, 2021
This book is a must read for both women and men who know, manage, and love women. Kristi has excelled in creating a safe space with her stories and words to help explore your own heart/mind, identify limiting beliefs and figure out what it takes to show up in the meeting room, boardroom, at the dinner table, with friends, family and loved ones as more of you-unapologetically.
I'll be re-reading this on the regular and spreading the moxie as far and wide as I can.
I'll be re-reading this on the regular and spreading the moxie as far and wide as I can.
May 24, 2023
It's interesting because I recently, as a white woman, learned about the racism in the girl-boss phenomenon as a whole capitulating to capitalist white female success at the expense of all others.
It is quite telling that this book written by a white woman in her 50s honestly portrays her experiences and points out the ableism, homophobia, racism, and transphobia that we living in the intersections can make.
While it doesn't come from the specific lens of religion nor disability, I felt included in how Kristi describes feminism today. I loved that she spoke towards sponsoring instead of mentoring. Sponsorship, the concept that the Greeks invented wherein a mentor will financially support another in exchange for a specific work (could be art or music or tutoring ext), has been outlined in the biblical New Testament, but tragically many modern US American churches use those passages to justify antebellum slavery-you know the master and servant passages.
She also outlines trauma from rape and domestic violence globally and gives tips on living against the materialist lifestyle that US Americans as a whole culture feel entitlement to receive.
I am glad I fought my bias to pass this book up because it has pink lipstick on the cover. Why do feminine symbols bring feelings of dread and a triggering response of weaponizing a piece of myself? Well, Kristi digs deep and helped me sit with these uncomfortable feelings with logic and truth.
It is quite telling that this book written by a white woman in her 50s honestly portrays her experiences and points out the ableism, homophobia, racism, and transphobia that we living in the intersections can make.
While it doesn't come from the specific lens of religion nor disability, I felt included in how Kristi describes feminism today. I loved that she spoke towards sponsoring instead of mentoring. Sponsorship, the concept that the Greeks invented wherein a mentor will financially support another in exchange for a specific work (could be art or music or tutoring ext), has been outlined in the biblical New Testament, but tragically many modern US American churches use those passages to justify antebellum slavery-you know the master and servant passages.
She also outlines trauma from rape and domestic violence globally and gives tips on living against the materialist lifestyle that US Americans as a whole culture feel entitlement to receive.
I am glad I fought my bias to pass this book up because it has pink lipstick on the cover. Why do feminine symbols bring feelings of dread and a triggering response of weaponizing a piece of myself? Well, Kristi digs deep and helped me sit with these uncomfortable feelings with logic and truth.
June 20, 2025
As a graduate from the University of Northern Iowa (Go Panthers), reading this from a fellow graduate meant so much more. This book was filled with inspiring stories of women and an important message of being loud, taking up space, and looking for the helpers. It clearly demonstrated what it's like living as a woman in this world, and I could relate strongly. An inspiring and powerful read. I feel empowered to continue to be strong and independent and encourage other women to do the same. I feel more of a feminist than I've ever been. Kristi's story did not come off as bragging, but rather a reminder that women can do anything and everything they put their minds to. Would highly recommend to anybody. Great read!
May 1, 2022
As an educator and mother of three daughters, I'm so glad I read this book. I enjoyed the short stories and the fact that I could put the book down and come back to it. I have reread different chapters at different points that connect to where I'm at in my current life. I especially appreciate the three points at the end of every chapter under the subtitles of "take up space, be first and look for the helpers. " This book empowers me to support other women. I have recommended it to many and have gifted it to several.
August 20, 2021
For any woman who considers herself a modern feminist, this is a must read! As the maven of moxie, Kristi keeps it real reminiscent of Rachel Hollis while incorporating core tenets of feminism popularized by Gloria Steinem. As an experienced educator, her writing makes the female perspective accessible to all and provides useful insight to any woman seeking to live her best life and help other women to live theirs.
August 25, 2023
I really didn't get much out of this. I bristle at people (especially women) telling other women that THEY need to change in order to be empowered, even though the system is the problem. This also felt self serving - lots of stories where the author pats herself on the back for doing something awesome and also stories that didn't always feel purposeful or related to the message. I'm sure other people will get lots out of this - it just wasn't for me.
September 11, 2021
Fast, quick read - only 130 pages. If you’re needing a confidence boost, learning self assurance or how to come into your own, this is the perfect book for you. I enjoyed her stories - didn’t agree with everything she had to say. Overall did appreciate her overarching principles at the end of each chapter 1) take up space 2) be first 3) who are your helpers
November 27, 2021
A student in my school's Girl Up group grabbed a copy of this book after the author came to visit them. I am so thankful!
I loved each chapter's message and points...easy to digest, relate to, and see around me. The quotes to start each chapter are making me reach out and read Gloria Steinem and the points at the end are good doable points for myself. Worth checking out!
I loved each chapter's message and points...easy to digest, relate to, and see around me. The quotes to start each chapter are making me reach out and read Gloria Steinem and the points at the end are good doable points for myself. Worth checking out!
January 31, 2025
Kristi’s powerful stories are also our own but we really needed her as the author. She outlines so many common experiences for women and details what it means to have MOXIE.
You will yourself outlining and saying YES throughout the book in pure validation.
Kristi is authentic and a force you will want to conjure when the world wants to squash your light.
You will yourself outlining and saying YES throughout the book in pure validation.
Kristi is authentic and a force you will want to conjure when the world wants to squash your light.
July 7, 2025
Love this book! Practical and powerful- I return to the key lessons over and over again for strength, motivation and to keep the focus to realize my ability to lead and help other women join my journey- unapologetically
October 6, 2021
Kristi is a global trailblazer whose wisdom and stories are worth listening, embracing, and putting into your own inspiring action!
January 27, 2022
Time to take up space and start running this world! We can all do this and we can find our helpers when it seems too much!! We can empower each other to be our best selves!! Cheers!
August 11, 2023
There are some good nuggets of wisdom and advice in here. I'm not sure I would recommend that my daughter read the whole book, but there are definitely some conversation starters in here.
January 27, 2024
The author jumps around a lot in her timeline which makes it hard to follow. Good concept.
December 26, 2025
A must read for women who need a pep talk to tell us to stop making ourselves small to please others especially men.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews