Soft Pawn: The Uncensored Sequel to How to Cheat at Chess

by William Hartston, Bill Tidy

Book by William Hartston, Bill Tidy

Genres: Chess

94 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 1995

About the author

Full name: William Roland Hartston.

Reviews

[Manny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe the best piece of chess humour ever. If you're not a chessplayer, you're unlikely to get most of the jokes - but if you are, I recommend it strongly!

My favourite chapter is the Shakespeare pastiche, "Victor the Second, Part One", about the 1978 Korchnoi-Karpov match. An extract:

FIRST SECOND: Hast thou not seen that wicked staring face
which sits each day upon the second row?

SECOND SECOND: We must protest upon't, and have him thrown
back to the chamber's rear where he belongs.
I'll pen a missive to the arbiter
Meanwhile put on these glasses which reflect;
they'll turn his evil magic on himself.

THIRD SECOND: But don't forget the yoghurt in your note;
for if complaint is menu for the day,
be sure we do complain both well and long.

VICTOR [aside:] These seconds do protest too much, methinks.
See this position wherein I've adjourned.
There's tricks yet to be found. Come analyse!

FIRST SECOND: That's best!

SECOND SECOND: Nay this!

THIRD SECOND: No, something else instead!

VICTOR: Work well, dear friends. I'm shagged and off to bed.

See what I mean? The non-chessplayers are most likely already yawning and rolling their eyes. For the people still reading, here's the beginning of "Chess Club Drifter":

He never said where he came from, and few even dared ask. The tall man rode into Dodge City with only the clothes on his back and a chess set in his hand. All eyes were on the stranger as he strode into the saloon. Conversation came to a sudden stop and an ominous silence seized the smoky air as he pushed a dollar bill towards the bartender.

'Gimme a drink,' said the stranger. 'Tea, no milk, one sugar.' The bartender stood motionless, his hands pushing down on the bar, his eyes fixed menacingly on the face of the newcomer. After a few seconds which felt like minutes, the stranger spoke again. 'Please,' he added defiantly.

[Dave Ewart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humour is a little dated, but entertaining enough especially for chess players who remember 70s and 80s :-)

[Carl · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's amusing in places, generally a good, lighthearted addition to the usual cry chess books.