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Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other
A frank and funny look at what to do when together is too close
Two's company, especially for those who love each other. So what happens when--due to retirement, working from home, or even running a business together--spouses find that being in the same space all the time is awkward, complex, annoying, and just plain challenging? How can partners co-exist without co-exhausting each other?
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby know all too well how adjusting to a new, all-the-time closeness can cause the bliss of marriage to form blisters. Drawing from their experiences, and from men and women across the country in the same situation, the authors take a deep breath and dive into the root causes of the discomfort. They dig into the ways God's Word addresses the topic, and they offer practical tips for learning the spiritual, emotional, relational, and even physical steps that can help readers replace irritation with peace.
For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all--not just themselves--and who wants to know they aren't alone in the mental and physical claustrophobia of too much togetherness, Spouse in the House is a vulnerable, charming, and pragmatic breath of hope.
Two's company, especially for those who love each other. So what happens when--due to retirement, working from home, or even running a business together--spouses find that being in the same space all the time is awkward, complex, annoying, and just plain challenging? How can partners co-exist without co-exhausting each other?
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby know all too well how adjusting to a new, all-the-time closeness can cause the bliss of marriage to form blisters. Drawing from their experiences, and from men and women across the country in the same situation, the authors take a deep breath and dive into the root causes of the discomfort. They dig into the ways God's Word addresses the topic, and they offer practical tips for learning the spiritual, emotional, relational, and even physical steps that can help readers replace irritation with peace.
For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all--not just themselves--and who wants to know they aren't alone in the mental and physical claustrophobia of too much togetherness, Spouse in the House is a vulnerable, charming, and pragmatic breath of hope.
224 pages, Paperback
Published September 21, 2021
About the author
Cynthia Ruchti
38 books974 followersCynthia Ruchti tells stories hemmed-in-Hope through her novels and novellas, nonfiction books and devotionals, and through speaking for women's and writers' events. Her books have been recognized by many top industry readers', reviewers', library, retailer, and other honors. Cynthia is the Professional Relations Liaison for American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and a literary agent with Books & Such Literary Management. She and her plot-tweaking husband live in the heart of Wisconsin, not far from their three children and five (to date) grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
October 4, 2021
I enjoyed reading this book, even though I am currently not in the stage of life this book is focusing on. I think there is something in these pages that is relevant to most people that have been married for a number of years. We all have things we need to learn, to grow in, to continue improving and building up our marriages.
Cynthia Ruchti has compelling voice, she imparts words of wisdom using snippets from her own personal experiences. I've loved reading her fiction books, and now I can say the same about her nonfiction titles.
I'd never before read anything by Becky Melby, and I also greatly enjoyed reading her contribution throughout this novel. I found it to be timely and thought provoking, leaving me much to think about and mull over.
I especially enjoyed the fact that there is humor sprinkled in. And paragraphs here and there from each of their husbands, both of which are named Bill, so they are identified with specific nicknames, which had me chuckling on occasion.
Overall, I found this book to be one that could be helpful to most Christians. In marriages, yes, but practical tips that could also be carried over into other relationships, particularly those in which you find yourself often in close quarters with others.
This book shows us much about giving and taking, patience, kindness, and showing Jesus to those around.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
Cynthia Ruchti has compelling voice, she imparts words of wisdom using snippets from her own personal experiences. I've loved reading her fiction books, and now I can say the same about her nonfiction titles.
I'd never before read anything by Becky Melby, and I also greatly enjoyed reading her contribution throughout this novel. I found it to be timely and thought provoking, leaving me much to think about and mull over.
I especially enjoyed the fact that there is humor sprinkled in. And paragraphs here and there from each of their husbands, both of which are named Bill, so they are identified with specific nicknames, which had me chuckling on occasion.
Overall, I found this book to be one that could be helpful to most Christians. In marriages, yes, but practical tips that could also be carried over into other relationships, particularly those in which you find yourself often in close quarters with others.
This book shows us much about giving and taking, patience, kindness, and showing Jesus to those around.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
September 27, 2021
Spouse in the House is the first nonfiction book I’ve read by Cynthia Ruchti and first book, ever, by Becky Melby. I loved how they said almost from the beginning this book isn’t for all spouses who find themselves together 24/7. Some spouses have little challenge with the shift from being apart to being together all the time, but this book is for those who are finding the adjustment challenging.
I work from home and am used to many interruptions from children, animals, etc. When we find my husband home more often than usual, I enjoy knowing he’s around and we have built a good work/together balance. However, I loved this book because not ever marriage finds lots of togetherness as enjoyable as we do.
This book is as much about retirement and blending two lives together all the time as it is about communication, mutual respect, and a host of other skills that only enhance one’s marriage. It’s a great book and I thoroughly enjoyed all the wisdom these women shared.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Audra Jennings and was under no obligation to post a review. All opinions are strictly my own.
I work from home and am used to many interruptions from children, animals, etc. When we find my husband home more often than usual, I enjoy knowing he’s around and we have built a good work/together balance. However, I loved this book because not ever marriage finds lots of togetherness as enjoyable as we do.
This book is as much about retirement and blending two lives together all the time as it is about communication, mutual respect, and a host of other skills that only enhance one’s marriage. It’s a great book and I thoroughly enjoyed all the wisdom these women shared.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Audra Jennings and was under no obligation to post a review. All opinions are strictly my own.
October 3, 2021
I really enjoyed reading this book. I liked how the authors wrote it in a conversational style so you felt like you were having a discussion with friends. I liked that they used humor and person stories to give examples of the tips they were sharing. I also loved how their tips and suggestions don’t have to just apply to a spouse being home. I’m not married but I do live with my brother so some of their tips can help me in my interactions with my brother. I really like the things they shared and would recommend this to anyone who might need help with having someone home all the time.
I received a complimentary book from publishers, publicists, and or authors. A review was not required and all opinions and ideas expressed are my own.
I received a complimentary book from publishers, publicists, and or authors. A review was not required and all opinions and ideas expressed are my own.
November 4, 2021
Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby
Wanted to read this book as my spouse had been let go, they elimiated his position, back in january. He'd been with the company for 27 years.
Not going to retire til he's 66 1/3 so that leaves about a year left. After collecting unemployment and trying to keep up to date on computer things, that was his job, he got bored.
Tried getting him hobbies and he did enjoy a few but he will save them for when he does retire. We got a lot accomplished in the house while he was home, cleaning out things.
This book will be right up my alley as I've been there, survived it and no T shirt.
Book starts with praise from others and table of contents.
Story starts where the authors have alternating chances to state their facts. Sometimes you just have to laugh, if you've been there before.
There are a lot of sidenotes that I found very helpful along the way. A lot of comprising and trying not to step on each others toes.
I was lucky my spouse did go back to his old job-they renamed it something different and only out of work for 4 1/2 months. Now we know what to expect when he does retire.
Like conversations in the book also so you can see the other side of things.
What I found most helpful was inspriationsal charts at the very end. Never put things in columns before but it was so clear to actually see the words there.
Book ends with acknowledgements, a louse of a spouse, unsafe place and where to get help. This was eye opening for those who need it and for those of us who don't we may know others who can use this information.
Bible passages are included as well. Like questions at the end helping your spouse find his place in the house you are also living in.
Resources and notes are also included at the end.
Other works by the authors are listed. Very worthwhile book. So glad I got to read it.
Won this book in a contest and this is my honest opinion.
Wanted to read this book as my spouse had been let go, they elimiated his position, back in january. He'd been with the company for 27 years.
Not going to retire til he's 66 1/3 so that leaves about a year left. After collecting unemployment and trying to keep up to date on computer things, that was his job, he got bored.
Tried getting him hobbies and he did enjoy a few but he will save them for when he does retire. We got a lot accomplished in the house while he was home, cleaning out things.
This book will be right up my alley as I've been there, survived it and no T shirt.
Book starts with praise from others and table of contents.
Story starts where the authors have alternating chances to state their facts. Sometimes you just have to laugh, if you've been there before.
There are a lot of sidenotes that I found very helpful along the way. A lot of comprising and trying not to step on each others toes.
I was lucky my spouse did go back to his old job-they renamed it something different and only out of work for 4 1/2 months. Now we know what to expect when he does retire.
Like conversations in the book also so you can see the other side of things.
What I found most helpful was inspriationsal charts at the very end. Never put things in columns before but it was so clear to actually see the words there.
Book ends with acknowledgements, a louse of a spouse, unsafe place and where to get help. This was eye opening for those who need it and for those of us who don't we may know others who can use this information.
Bible passages are included as well. Like questions at the end helping your spouse find his place in the house you are also living in.
Resources and notes are also included at the end.
Other works by the authors are listed. Very worthwhile book. So glad I got to read it.
Won this book in a contest and this is my honest opinion.
September 13, 2021
I LOVE this practical and humorous advice, gently woven with scripture on how to navigate through all-the-time togetherness that couples find themselves in when 'He's Home All The Time' (HHATT Club). Authors Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby offer a wonderful book aimed at acknowledging the challenges with candor, and humor, finding practical solutions guided by biblical principles. "For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all." Truth be told, I laughed out loud, adjusted my attitude towards my husband, and underlined nearly every page. It's a great book to have on hand for those big changes that find us in times of too much togetherness.
I highly recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an early copy. All opinions are my own.
I highly recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an early copy. All opinions are my own.
September 20, 2021
What happens when your spouse is home full time? Read this heartwarming, thought provoking, and sometimes funny book about how spouses interact with each other from moment to moment. Personalities can clash at times. In this book, we are reminded that all of us are created uniquely and have different gifts and talents. Patience, compassion, love, honesty, trust, and God are needed to guide us in relationships. Excellent book. I received a complimentary copy of the book. No review was required.
September 30, 2021
These two authors have written about a subject everyone experienced in one form or another when the world shut down in 2020. The world was surprised as we were forced; without much warning and little time to prepare for being in close courtiers 24/7. The authors talk about retirement and many of the principles of sharing the family home/work area every day. I like the transparency of the authors as they discuss what they’ve gone through and learned during the process.
I liked the healthy boundaries and respect these couples learned. They state, “The truth is that no human being, not even a spouse, is capable of maintaining another person’s happiness.” So, true. I was delighted and surprised this writing team included input from several authors sprinkled throughout. They shared their struggles, ideas, and encouragement with readers. Some of the authors that shared are Pam Farrel, Grace Fox, Tessa Afshar, Gayle Roper, Julie Cantrell, and Justin and Trisha Davis just to mention a few. It was also fun to hear from Cynthia and Becky’s spouses.
This book is helpful for tool people who retire and begin to be together all day long. I like the lighthearted, humorous, and well-rounded, helpful guide as this team talks about this adventure with respect, patience, and humor. They include insightful tips, and creative ideas, as well as things to be mindful of. At the end of the book is a list of useful resources, they include the Top 10 questions to help SITHS find their footing. There is a section titled, “Inspiration for conversations to have with each other”, as well as including resources to help people “when home is not a safe place.”
I’ve included a sample of humorous chapter titles, “His Bucket List Doesn’t Play Well with Mine, Solving the Problem of Schedule preferences, Continuing the love story, We’re dancing, but he’s listening to different music, and Love keeps no record of who cleaned the toilet last. I liked how they shared about the fact that just because they are home all the time, it doesn’t mean each is free all the time. They also talk about how “Without time alone, time together can grow stale.”
I liked how they included scripture verses to hang on to which gives the reader a heavenly perspective – God’s thoughts on the matter. These are helpful, not preachy segments. This book is a useful tool for everyone.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have received a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher through NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins!
The Book Club Network blog www.bookfun.org
I liked the healthy boundaries and respect these couples learned. They state, “The truth is that no human being, not even a spouse, is capable of maintaining another person’s happiness.” So, true. I was delighted and surprised this writing team included input from several authors sprinkled throughout. They shared their struggles, ideas, and encouragement with readers. Some of the authors that shared are Pam Farrel, Grace Fox, Tessa Afshar, Gayle Roper, Julie Cantrell, and Justin and Trisha Davis just to mention a few. It was also fun to hear from Cynthia and Becky’s spouses.
This book is helpful for tool people who retire and begin to be together all day long. I like the lighthearted, humorous, and well-rounded, helpful guide as this team talks about this adventure with respect, patience, and humor. They include insightful tips, and creative ideas, as well as things to be mindful of. At the end of the book is a list of useful resources, they include the Top 10 questions to help SITHS find their footing. There is a section titled, “Inspiration for conversations to have with each other”, as well as including resources to help people “when home is not a safe place.”
I’ve included a sample of humorous chapter titles, “His Bucket List Doesn’t Play Well with Mine, Solving the Problem of Schedule preferences, Continuing the love story, We’re dancing, but he’s listening to different music, and Love keeps no record of who cleaned the toilet last. I liked how they shared about the fact that just because they are home all the time, it doesn’t mean each is free all the time. They also talk about how “Without time alone, time together can grow stale.”
I liked how they included scripture verses to hang on to which gives the reader a heavenly perspective – God’s thoughts on the matter. These are helpful, not preachy segments. This book is a useful tool for everyone.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have received a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher through NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”
Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins!
The Book Club Network blog www.bookfun.org
October 1, 2021
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby shed some wise light on the phenomenon of two spouses in the house all day. The two successful Christian authors and speakers had this title planned well before the pandemic, intending to target couples who were both in the house 24/7 post retirement. What had been one person's domain (usually the wife's) suddenly needs to be big enough in space and temperament for two. And suddenly it becomes clear that the interests and habits of the two are not perfectly in sync. As Melby and Ruchti began to gather their ideas, Covid 19 hit the world and millions of families found themselves homebound. Countless couples were both trying to work out of the same space. And then there were those newly retired folks who had not yet adjusted to being home each day; perhaps their mate still worked; and many, like Mebly and Ruchti, worked from home. The authors said there are actually groups that help spouses adjust to sharing their spaces. While we may all want to do nothing more than sit with a group of besties with our favorite cup of joe and gripe about how s(he) just doesn't understand the way things need to be done, Ruchti and Melby remind us that we need to put our spouses in a different light. We need to see them as Christ sees them. We vowed to love them and at this point in our life, that may mean giving them space, both emotionally and physically. Both authors shared stories from their own marriages with responses from their spouses. Ruchti is from Wisconsin, my home state, and her description of her husband's interests lined right up with so many guys I know (especially my sons). I could almost imagine her husband packing up his camping gear for Canada and stopping to pick up the guys in our family along the way. Told with both humor and seriousness, SPOUSE IN THE HOUSE is a perfect read if you are navigating sharing your home. Pare all their advice down and you get one word (as a verb) LOVE. I received a copy of this book from the publisher and authors. All opinions are mine.
October 1, 2021
I was really intrigued by the concept of this book. I am not at a stage in life where I am with my spouse 24/7, but those days are not far away. Spouse in the House is co-authored by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby.
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have written a very timely book, as many in the past year have found themselves in the home with their spouses 24/7. Families have made several changes in the last year, with working from home vs, at the office. Also, many families have Home Businesses. Spending so much time together can be nerve wrecking, but it also can be a good thing for a marriage. Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby apply God's word to the concept of this book and encourage the reader on how to work together and don't let time spent with each other make dents in the marriage.
I have to say this book is very practical for anyone who is desiring to know how to keep their marriage in check, especially when being with one another 24/7. Last summer my husband worked from home for about 5 months. While it was out of necessity, it was also a little crazed. We had to learn how to give each other a bit of space at times and be able to do our own thing at times. We have about 10yrs or so until we are 24/7 together, but some of the advice and tips given in this book could apply now for us, especially on weekends. Spouse in the House is a WONDERFUL book filled with Godly wisdom for couples looking to keep things peaceful during those retirement years and also work from home situations!
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have written a very timely book, as many in the past year have found themselves in the home with their spouses 24/7. Families have made several changes in the last year, with working from home vs, at the office. Also, many families have Home Businesses. Spending so much time together can be nerve wrecking, but it also can be a good thing for a marriage. Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby apply God's word to the concept of this book and encourage the reader on how to work together and don't let time spent with each other make dents in the marriage.
I have to say this book is very practical for anyone who is desiring to know how to keep their marriage in check, especially when being with one another 24/7. Last summer my husband worked from home for about 5 months. While it was out of necessity, it was also a little crazed. We had to learn how to give each other a bit of space at times and be able to do our own thing at times. We have about 10yrs or so until we are 24/7 together, but some of the advice and tips given in this book could apply now for us, especially on weekends. Spouse in the House is a WONDERFUL book filled with Godly wisdom for couples looking to keep things peaceful during those retirement years and also work from home situations!
October 11, 2021
I have really loved Spouse in the House. It really examines the realities of sharing space with your spouse when they are suddenly home all of the time and so are you. With COVID, retirement, or whatever the reason, the sudden change in logistics can shake even the strongest couple. After all, you each got used to your routines apart and though you love each other, it is possible to get on each other's nerves with such close proximity.
This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.
Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.
I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.
I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregel and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.
This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.
Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.
I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.
I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregel and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.
October 9, 2021
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby team up to share positive and constructive strategies for those finding themselves in the HHATT club (that acronym is He’s Home All The Time). And while this book was initially intended to address what happens when a spouse retires and both halves of a couple find themselves in each other’s space more often, the timing of Spouse in the House is providential as people have moved from the office to remote work as the world continues to stare down a global pandemic.
These two authors tag team in each chapter with wisdom, vulnerability, constructive solutions, and moments of humor. Their husbands also get to share some of their thoughts sometimes, too. There is so much information in this book, making one or two of the adjustments in the book is sure to strengthen your relationship when the extra strain of sharing space more frequently.
While I am not at all the demographic for this book (I’m happily single, never been married), there were some takeaways for me in this book when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s a spouse, a roommate, children who have moved back in, or another situation where you’re sharing space with someone a large amount of the time, Spouse in the House challenges readers to lean into love instead of grudges, bitterness, or scorekeeping.
Disclosure statement: I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions are my own.
These two authors tag team in each chapter with wisdom, vulnerability, constructive solutions, and moments of humor. Their husbands also get to share some of their thoughts sometimes, too. There is so much information in this book, making one or two of the adjustments in the book is sure to strengthen your relationship when the extra strain of sharing space more frequently.
While I am not at all the demographic for this book (I’m happily single, never been married), there were some takeaways for me in this book when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s a spouse, a roommate, children who have moved back in, or another situation where you’re sharing space with someone a large amount of the time, Spouse in the House challenges readers to lean into love instead of grudges, bitterness, or scorekeeping.
Disclosure statement: I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions are my own.
October 3, 2021
Although my spouse is not always in the house…I have experienced moments when I feel like it’s a bit harder to spend long periods of time together. As I type this review, Steve and I are 18 days away from our 20th wedding anniversary, which honestly blows my mind. We are still very much in love but sometimes I think we take each other for granted. This book approaches this issue that many wives face due to retirement, sickness, working from home, pandemics, etc. in a very useful but funny way. I adored the writing style of both authors and found myself nodding in agreement and giggling out loud at times.
The main theme of the book that I found was taking note of the status of your marriage and finding ways to keep it running smoothly. I took many great tips from it even though I’m not quite at the “he’s home all the time” stage yet. I also loved that it focuses on putting God in the center, which is extremely important for a healthy marriage.
This was one of the best marriage books I’ve read in a long time and I recommend it for any married couple who have been together for a while.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher/authors to review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
The main theme of the book that I found was taking note of the status of your marriage and finding ways to keep it running smoothly. I took many great tips from it even though I’m not quite at the “he’s home all the time” stage yet. I also loved that it focuses on putting God in the center, which is extremely important for a healthy marriage.
This was one of the best marriage books I’ve read in a long time and I recommend it for any married couple who have been together for a while.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher/authors to review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
November 15, 2021
At first blush of marriage, most newlyweds cherish every moment spent together and anguish those hours apart for work or other responsibilities. But as years flow by, time spent alone in the home becomes routine and may evolve into being the “king” or “queen” of the castle. But trouble lies ahead when a spouse has a change in life and becomes a permanent fixture in the household.
Spouse in the House, co-authored by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby, share their own insights and those of many others who are adjusting to having their beloved spouse rubbing elbows with them on a daily basis. This is a delightful, funny, yet serious “how to” book that takes a deep dive into the root causes of the tensions that form, is threaded with scriptural wisdom, and suggests reasonable solutions to calm storms and restore peace.
I have enjoyed the Christian based books that were written by Cynthia and Becky. Whether practical concepts or fiction, their books are engaging, often heartwarming, and are satisfying to read.
This book resonated with me, as I am the “Spouse in the House”. My husband is a farmer and our home had been his domain until I retired from nursing. After 40 years of marriage, I was the one who invaded his space and we needed to come to terms with our new living arrangement. I could relate to each chapter and discovered many ways I could manage and resolve our areas of conflict. Having an awareness of the cause of the friction and being more empathetic to how my presence was impacting him is helping our relationship be stronger and more joyful. Each chapter focused on a different subject area and had clever titles. The ones that I found most helpful were: “At Least One of Us Has to Be a Bomb Sniffer”, “We’re Dancing, but He’s Listening to Different Music”, Get That Out of My Pail! (His Bucket List Does Not Play Well With Mine” and “Familiarity Breeds Meh”
Becky and Cynthia both share their own experiences with humor and candor. They thoughtfully thread the Word of God which gives substance to solutions. Their writing is insightful and provocative. I recommend “Spouse in the House” for any couple that is approaching or experiencing life situations that cause them to suddenly be together and possibly in each other’s way again. I am confident that they will find gems that will help them create a peaceful transition from being apart to being “together all the time”.
Spouse in the House, co-authored by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby, share their own insights and those of many others who are adjusting to having their beloved spouse rubbing elbows with them on a daily basis. This is a delightful, funny, yet serious “how to” book that takes a deep dive into the root causes of the tensions that form, is threaded with scriptural wisdom, and suggests reasonable solutions to calm storms and restore peace.
I have enjoyed the Christian based books that were written by Cynthia and Becky. Whether practical concepts or fiction, their books are engaging, often heartwarming, and are satisfying to read.
This book resonated with me, as I am the “Spouse in the House”. My husband is a farmer and our home had been his domain until I retired from nursing. After 40 years of marriage, I was the one who invaded his space and we needed to come to terms with our new living arrangement. I could relate to each chapter and discovered many ways I could manage and resolve our areas of conflict. Having an awareness of the cause of the friction and being more empathetic to how my presence was impacting him is helping our relationship be stronger and more joyful. Each chapter focused on a different subject area and had clever titles. The ones that I found most helpful were: “At Least One of Us Has to Be a Bomb Sniffer”, “We’re Dancing, but He’s Listening to Different Music”, Get That Out of My Pail! (His Bucket List Does Not Play Well With Mine” and “Familiarity Breeds Meh”
Becky and Cynthia both share their own experiences with humor and candor. They thoughtfully thread the Word of God which gives substance to solutions. Their writing is insightful and provocative. I recommend “Spouse in the House” for any couple that is approaching or experiencing life situations that cause them to suddenly be together and possibly in each other’s way again. I am confident that they will find gems that will help them create a peaceful transition from being apart to being “together all the time”.
September 29, 2021
The concept for Spouse in the House started long before a pandemic forced many families to be home together. While the authors are specifically speaking to couples who are entering their retirement years, many of the concepts outlined in this book can be used during any transition where people are new to living together. The concepts could be implemented for college roommates, a newly married couple, a family in the middle of a pandemic, layoff, or, yes, even a pandemic.
It's not always-okay, it rarely is-a smooth transition when two bodies share the same air.
Cynthia and Becky take turns sharing personal stories and challenges that they have encountered with their marriages, and from their friends. There are quite a few adjustments in a family when a spouse enters retirement (or a lay-off) as the family adjusts to a new schedule and the shake-up of all the routines. I know when my family was quarantined at the beginning of the pandemic, even though we homeschooled, it was very difficult for me and the kids, as well as my husband when he was forced to work at home.
The biggest conflict was in my head, in my idea that our home was my domain and my time should be my own.
I enjoyed the story Cynthia tells at the beginning of the book about how this book come to fruition. While this concept was started long before the pandemic, it is timely, not only for those who are entering retirement but for those who are starting to share a space, working at home (or school) with others. With humor and grace, Cynthia and Becky have weaved a wonderful book together that will never lose its relevancy.
Couples go to premarital counseling before saying 'I do.' Why doesn't somebody create preretirement counseling so we're ready to say, 'I still do. All. The. Time?'
While I would recommend this book to anyone who is adjusting to a spouse in the house, I would say it also has great information for married couples on how to treat each other in general. I highlighted and circled quite a bit of nuggets of wisdom that I can use now (hubby is back at work full-time!) and stuff that will be more applicable at the time that he retires.
It's not always-okay, it rarely is-a smooth transition when two bodies share the same air.
Cynthia and Becky take turns sharing personal stories and challenges that they have encountered with their marriages, and from their friends. There are quite a few adjustments in a family when a spouse enters retirement (or a lay-off) as the family adjusts to a new schedule and the shake-up of all the routines. I know when my family was quarantined at the beginning of the pandemic, even though we homeschooled, it was very difficult for me and the kids, as well as my husband when he was forced to work at home.
The biggest conflict was in my head, in my idea that our home was my domain and my time should be my own.
I enjoyed the story Cynthia tells at the beginning of the book about how this book come to fruition. While this concept was started long before the pandemic, it is timely, not only for those who are entering retirement but for those who are starting to share a space, working at home (or school) with others. With humor and grace, Cynthia and Becky have weaved a wonderful book together that will never lose its relevancy.
Couples go to premarital counseling before saying 'I do.' Why doesn't somebody create preretirement counseling so we're ready to say, 'I still do. All. The. Time?'
While I would recommend this book to anyone who is adjusting to a spouse in the house, I would say it also has great information for married couples on how to treat each other in general. I highlighted and circled quite a bit of nuggets of wisdom that I can use now (hubby is back at work full-time!) and stuff that will be more applicable at the time that he retires.
September 29, 2021
The Chapter One title of Spouse in the House sets the tone for the book: Honey, I'm Home ... All. The. Time. This book provides tips to deal with 'significant togetherness' or spending way more time with your spouse than you were previously accustomed to, due to being newly retired or working from home.
During the early days of the pandemic, my husband (because of high-risk) stayed home from work for a month. I enjoyed this time with him and we accomplished so much at home that we normally struggled to find time for. We adjusted easily, and relished the added hours together. The true adjustment for me was when he returned to work. I'd grown used to having him home all the time. No doubt, everyone is different though, and this disruption in alone time or personal space and activities can be difficult for some. Though my adjustment in time alone came easy, I am still able to empathize with those who struggle through some of the scenarios referred to in this book.
This book contains wonderful, Spiritually-supported tips on overcoming the he's-home-all-the-time challenges, finding peace, and building hope. Not only with our spouse, but in all our close relationships.
Overall, this book emphasizes the importance of respect, appreciation, communication, and (most importantly) grace in a marriage. Especially in an abundance of togetherness a couple may not be accustomed to.
Dɪsᴄʟᴏsᴜʀᴇ: I ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ. Mʏ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴғʟᴜᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ.
During the early days of the pandemic, my husband (because of high-risk) stayed home from work for a month. I enjoyed this time with him and we accomplished so much at home that we normally struggled to find time for. We adjusted easily, and relished the added hours together. The true adjustment for me was when he returned to work. I'd grown used to having him home all the time. No doubt, everyone is different though, and this disruption in alone time or personal space and activities can be difficult for some. Though my adjustment in time alone came easy, I am still able to empathize with those who struggle through some of the scenarios referred to in this book.
This book contains wonderful, Spiritually-supported tips on overcoming the he's-home-all-the-time challenges, finding peace, and building hope. Not only with our spouse, but in all our close relationships.
Overall, this book emphasizes the importance of respect, appreciation, communication, and (most importantly) grace in a marriage. Especially in an abundance of togetherness a couple may not be accustomed to.
Dɪsᴄʟᴏsᴜʀᴇ: I ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴏᴋ. Mʏ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴғʟᴜᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ.
October 11, 2021
I have really loved Spouse in the House. It really examines the realities of sharing space with your spouse when they are suddenly home all of the time and so are you. With COVID, retirement, or whatever the reason, the sudden change in logistics can shake even the strongest couple. After all, you each got used to your routines apart and though you love each other, it is possible to get on each other's nerves with such close proximity.
This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.
Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.
I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.
I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregal and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.
This book has made me laugh and has made me think. I am the one who is home more due to our particular circumstances, when he is the one who has been home with his own routines. I haven't seen a lot of warning signs, but this book has been helpful anyway. It has given me much to think about, especially when it comes to perspective and considering your spouse's perspective when it comes to the changes that can happen when you are in the same space.
Even more than the proximity thing, this book brings practical advice even when you aren't constantly breathing the same air. It is advice that is good for newlyweds and for couples that have spent decades together. You can always learn something new.
I would absolutely recommend this book to those that might feel that their spouse is too close for comfort, or someone that just feels a perspective change is just what you need. Who am I kidding? I would recommend this to every couple with its sage advice and witty humor.
I received an early copy through NetGalley and through Kregal and this is my own, honest opinion and I am not always a fan of self-help books.
November 30, 2021
Another thoughtful, inspirational winner by Cynthia Ruchti along with friend and fellow author, Becky Melby. SPOUSE IN THE HOUSE—Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other is sure to be must read for congregation’s senior groups, caregivers, and those working or running a business together. I would also include recent empty nesters. More on that later.
Each of the twenty chapters are co-authored by Cynthia and Becky. These ladies bring different, yet complementary—and humorous—perspectives to everything between living in small spaces, developing our identity individually and together, forgiveness, personality clashes, finances, miscommunications, control, body image, and defining real love. Some of them made me laugh out loud, others challenged me to look deeper into my heart.
As I read the book, I thought of all the friends who have confided in me about their spouse in the house. Like me, they not only need affirmation that the problems are real, but that there are real solutions as well.
Be sure to check out the “appendices” as there is even more valuable information and helps.
I mentioned empty nesters in the first paragraph. This category would absolutely benefit from the insights and practical applications of SPOUSE IN THE HOUSE as they begin that new chapter in their life. A prep course to begin learning how to focus on each other and what is important to both their lives, now that the kids have flown the birdhouse. I would love to have had a book like this.
Highly Recommend to couples who want more out of their relationship than co-existing.
Each of the twenty chapters are co-authored by Cynthia and Becky. These ladies bring different, yet complementary—and humorous—perspectives to everything between living in small spaces, developing our identity individually and together, forgiveness, personality clashes, finances, miscommunications, control, body image, and defining real love. Some of them made me laugh out loud, others challenged me to look deeper into my heart.
As I read the book, I thought of all the friends who have confided in me about their spouse in the house. Like me, they not only need affirmation that the problems are real, but that there are real solutions as well.
Be sure to check out the “appendices” as there is even more valuable information and helps.
I mentioned empty nesters in the first paragraph. This category would absolutely benefit from the insights and practical applications of SPOUSE IN THE HOUSE as they begin that new chapter in their life. A prep course to begin learning how to focus on each other and what is important to both their lives, now that the kids have flown the birdhouse. I would love to have had a book like this.
Highly Recommend to couples who want more out of their relationship than co-existing.
September 30, 2021
This is the book that would have been an AMAZING help for you to read before you suddenly had to spend 24/7 with your spouse during pandemic quarantine. Or retirement. Or moving your businesses to a work-at-home model.
Also, it's VERY funny.
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby, friends/fabulous co-authors, and wives of good men (for many years), bring their humor, wisdom, and faith to share with women (although men could also benefit) who are suddenly facing very different season in their marriages. The two cover money, sleep schedules, hobbies, commitment, kindness, and so many other topics and parts of marriage that could bring conflict, snarkiness, or judgment and impatience. They use Scriptures, theirs (and others') stories and experiences, and thoughtfulness to show that all of these areas of conflict don't have to be; that when we're together 24/7 with the person we married, things can still be amazing. Even in times of challenge.
I found so much to help me to think, to grow, and to meditate on in this book. (You should see all my Post-It flags!) And, to remind me that God is just as ready to help me in my marriage as He is in every other area of my life. I enjoyed every word, and both Cynthia's and Becky's voices. They actually co-write each of the 20 chapters. Good solid words from writers that are just a joy to read.
I received a copy of this book from Read With Audra. All opinions are honest and my own.
Also, it's VERY funny.
Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby, friends/fabulous co-authors, and wives of good men (for many years), bring their humor, wisdom, and faith to share with women (although men could also benefit) who are suddenly facing very different season in their marriages. The two cover money, sleep schedules, hobbies, commitment, kindness, and so many other topics and parts of marriage that could bring conflict, snarkiness, or judgment and impatience. They use Scriptures, theirs (and others') stories and experiences, and thoughtfulness to show that all of these areas of conflict don't have to be; that when we're together 24/7 with the person we married, things can still be amazing. Even in times of challenge.
I found so much to help me to think, to grow, and to meditate on in this book. (You should see all my Post-It flags!) And, to remind me that God is just as ready to help me in my marriage as He is in every other area of my life. I enjoyed every word, and both Cynthia's and Becky's voices. They actually co-write each of the 20 chapters. Good solid words from writers that are just a joy to read.
I received a copy of this book from Read With Audra. All opinions are honest and my own.
October 8, 2021
We often hear of wives who have a hard time adjusting when their husbands retire and are home all of the time. but this book certainly isn't just for couples of retirement age. After living through a pandemic, and experiencing, for many months, 'home together, all of the time', this is a book that we all can relate to. Authors Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby have joined together, with the aid of several other women, to offer us a 'how-to' on the subject of togetherness, and they've even asked their own spouses, Cynthia's 'Wonderhubby' and Becky's 'Dr. Snuggles', to add their male perspective to the mix!
'Most of us, no matter how old we are when we marry, are woefully clueless about the many layers hidden between "for better, for worse", and "as long as you both shall live."'
Spouse in the House takes a realistic look at this new stage of existence, when couples are together all of the time, and suggests ways to adjust to this togetherness. Along with the mentions of problems and struggles, there are also many nuggets of wisdom and inspiration. Encouragement is freely given, God's Word is abundantly shared, and humor makes it a joy to read. This book is a wonderful resource that you will want to share with others!
I received a complimentary copy from Kregel Publishing but there was no obligation for a positive review. These are my own thoughts.
'Most of us, no matter how old we are when we marry, are woefully clueless about the many layers hidden between "for better, for worse", and "as long as you both shall live."'
Spouse in the House takes a realistic look at this new stage of existence, when couples are together all of the time, and suggests ways to adjust to this togetherness. Along with the mentions of problems and struggles, there are also many nuggets of wisdom and inspiration. Encouragement is freely given, God's Word is abundantly shared, and humor makes it a joy to read. This book is a wonderful resource that you will want to share with others!
I received a complimentary copy from Kregel Publishing but there was no obligation for a positive review. These are my own thoughts.
October 11, 2021
Spouse in the House is written to wives whose husbands are suddenly home all the time. The main premise is the wife who is used to having the house to herself most of the day and now He’s Home All The Time. (Cynthia tells how she created a HHATT club in one of her novels, which developed into the idea for this book.)
One common scenario for the husband to be home more is, of course, retirement. But with recent developments, another increasingly common reason is that the husband now works remotely from home. That’s the current situation in my own marriage.
Spouse in the House is full of practical tips on how to adjust to being together more. To be honest, my husband and I haven’t found it to be that much of a challenge. Yes, there have been minor shifts, but nothing we haven’t been able to figure out as we go. I think our lifestyle is maybe not typical, though.
I would recommend this book for wives who love their husbands but are not especially enjoying having them around more.
One common scenario for the husband to be home more is, of course, retirement. But with recent developments, another increasingly common reason is that the husband now works remotely from home. That’s the current situation in my own marriage.
Spouse in the House is full of practical tips on how to adjust to being together more. To be honest, my husband and I haven’t found it to be that much of a challenge. Yes, there have been minor shifts, but nothing we haven’t been able to figure out as we go. I think our lifestyle is maybe not typical, though.
I would recommend this book for wives who love their husbands but are not especially enjoying having them around more.
September 28, 2021
Spouse in the House is what I wish I’d had before our retirement reality. We romanticized retirement, then reality struck. Like a grand piano in the middle of the kitchen, it was a beautiful thing, but not taking up all that space all the time. When all that closeness exploded we agreed to apply part of I Corinthians 13 (love keeps no record of wrong) by saying let’s just forget that ever happened. We often wished there was a survival tool for that special but challenging time in our lives.
Whether contemplating retirement, wondering what were we thinking, or know someone who is struggling with too much together time, this lighthearted easy to read material will help prepare and resolve those needs.
There is also a valuable resource guide for those dealing with more complicated situations.
I received a copy of the book from the publishers, but this review is my own unsolicited impression.
Whether contemplating retirement, wondering what were we thinking, or know someone who is struggling with too much together time, this lighthearted easy to read material will help prepare and resolve those needs.
There is also a valuable resource guide for those dealing with more complicated situations.
I received a copy of the book from the publishers, but this review is my own unsolicited impression.
September 29, 2021
Spouse in the House – rearranging our attitudes to make room for each other
By Cynthia Ruchti & Becky Melby
I’ve read a lot of marriage books and none has made me laugh so hard and so long as this one did. It also made me feel less alone in my failures and successes in trying to be the best spouse I can be. These authors share the good, the not-so-good, and the hilarious things wives have done, said, and thought regarding their husbands/marriages. Spouse in the House isn’t a guilt trip, it’s a girlfriend-to-girlfriend chat that inspires us to walk, talk, and live graciously towards our husbands and ourselves.
It’s an invitation and how-to for us to experience more fun, more love, and more peace in our homes.
Thank you, Cynthia and Becky for being so honest about your own struggles and victories. Your book is a blessing to the institution of marriage—a creation of God’s that He longs to bless families and society through. Well done, gracious and talented writers.
By Cynthia Ruchti & Becky Melby
I’ve read a lot of marriage books and none has made me laugh so hard and so long as this one did. It also made me feel less alone in my failures and successes in trying to be the best spouse I can be. These authors share the good, the not-so-good, and the hilarious things wives have done, said, and thought regarding their husbands/marriages. Spouse in the House isn’t a guilt trip, it’s a girlfriend-to-girlfriend chat that inspires us to walk, talk, and live graciously towards our husbands and ourselves.
It’s an invitation and how-to for us to experience more fun, more love, and more peace in our homes.
Thank you, Cynthia and Becky for being so honest about your own struggles and victories. Your book is a blessing to the institution of marriage—a creation of God’s that He longs to bless families and society through. Well done, gracious and talented writers.
October 11, 2021
I believe books like this come to us just when we need them. This book really hit home with me. As we transition into a "semi retirement" stage of our lives this book has addressed issues that we are dealing with right now. The authors use Biblical principles, humor and their own personal stories to show us ways to refocus and readjust our lives to thrive in a new phase of life as a married couple. They are definitely speaking from a place of experience. This book is not just for the retiring, though. If you have found yourself and your spouse home more because of a new "work from home" plan, a military spouse returning home, or unemployment due to recent circumstances this can be a great encouragement to you. It has changed how I view our new situation and how I respond to my husband.
September 21, 2021
I don’t have a spouse in the house all the time. He still works a lot and I wish for more time with him. Yet so many truths about marriage came through loud and clear in this book. How we treat our spouse in general, whether he’s home all the time or some of the time, makes a difference in how our marriage will thrive or not. Learning to navigate through the ups and downs of marriage with grace and mercy is good at every stage. Learning or relearning how to put a spouse first and how to enjoy them puts a spark back in any marriage. Personal stories, Scripture, and testimonials make this a full, rich book on marriage, not just at retirement time. I recommend this book and am thankful to have read an early copy from Netgalley.
September 29, 2021
My spouse can be gone for three days or home for two, we value the time together and do not have time to argue. there were many truths about marriage that stood out in the book. We have been married 25 years, and still learning how to navigate through the ups and downs of marriage with humility, grace, and mercy at each step. Personalities can clash, but at the end of the day you still love your spouse. The authors remind us that we are all created uniquely, and each have different talents and gifts. Compassion, honesty, trust and most important having God at the center. I definitely recommend the book whether one is recently married or married for 25 years.
I received an ARC of the book for an honest opinion. All opinions are my own.
I received an ARC of the book for an honest opinion. All opinions are my own.
September 21, 2021
I have to say I appreciate Authors Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby's writing even more after reading this book as it gave great advice coming from wisdom gleaned on their own journeys and I always enjoy being able to learn from other women of faith who have a Christ-centered attitude and outlook on life.
I absolutely love how they used scripture throughout the book and gave practical and useful advice (with a side of humor)
I definitely would recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an ARC of this wonderful book.
All opinions expressed are my own.
I absolutely love how they used scripture throughout the book and gave practical and useful advice (with a side of humor)
I definitely would recommend "Spouse in the House: Rearranging Out Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other."
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and Net Galley for allowing me to read an ARC of this wonderful book.
All opinions expressed are my own.
September 29, 2021
2 very special women write from the heart and experience about how we can live in peace with our spouse. 24/7. Or even just on weekends. Marriages will benefit no matter your age or situation. Tips and stories including their own bloopers. Get and enjoy.
July 10, 2023
I'm preparing for the future. It applies to Empty-nesters, also. Lovely book!
March 8, 2022
This is an excellent book for anyone facing a season of togetherness with both spouses at home. The main focus is on changing our attitude and having grace for each other.
November 9, 2021
Spouse in the House: Rearranging Our Attitudes to Make Room for Each Other by Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby
Wanted to read this book as my spouse had been let go, they eliminated his position, back in January. He'd been with the company for 27 years.
Not going to retire til he's 66 1/3 so that leaves about a year left. After collecting unemployment and trying to keep up to date on computer things, that was his job, he got bored.
Tried getting him hobbies and he did enjoy a few but he will save them for when he does retire. We got a lot accomplished in the house while he was home, cleaning out things.
This book will be right up my alley as I've been there, survived it and no T shirt.
Book starts with praise from others and table of contents.
Story starts where the authors have alternating chances to state their facts. Sometimes you just have to laugh, if you've been there before.
There are a lot of side-notes that I found very helpful along the way. A lot of comprising and trying not to step on each others toes.
I was lucky my spouse did go back to his old job-they renamed it something different and only out of work for 4 1/2 months. Now we know what to expect when he does retire.
Like conversations in the book also so you can see the other side of things.
What I found most helpful was inspirational charts at the very end. Never put things in columns before but it was so clear to actually see the words there.
Book ends with acknowledgements, a louse of a spouse, unsafe place and where to get help. This was eye opening for those who need it and for those of us who don't we may know others who can use this information.
Bible passages are included as well. Like questions at the end helping your spouse find his place in the house you are also living in.
Resources and notes are also included at the end.
Other works by the authors are listed. Very worthwhile book. So glad I got to read it.
Won this book in a contest and this is my honest opinion.
Wanted to read this book as my spouse had been let go, they eliminated his position, back in January. He'd been with the company for 27 years.
Not going to retire til he's 66 1/3 so that leaves about a year left. After collecting unemployment and trying to keep up to date on computer things, that was his job, he got bored.
Tried getting him hobbies and he did enjoy a few but he will save them for when he does retire. We got a lot accomplished in the house while he was home, cleaning out things.
This book will be right up my alley as I've been there, survived it and no T shirt.
Book starts with praise from others and table of contents.
Story starts where the authors have alternating chances to state their facts. Sometimes you just have to laugh, if you've been there before.
There are a lot of side-notes that I found very helpful along the way. A lot of comprising and trying not to step on each others toes.
I was lucky my spouse did go back to his old job-they renamed it something different and only out of work for 4 1/2 months. Now we know what to expect when he does retire.
Like conversations in the book also so you can see the other side of things.
What I found most helpful was inspirational charts at the very end. Never put things in columns before but it was so clear to actually see the words there.
Book ends with acknowledgements, a louse of a spouse, unsafe place and where to get help. This was eye opening for those who need it and for those of us who don't we may know others who can use this information.
Bible passages are included as well. Like questions at the end helping your spouse find his place in the house you are also living in.
Resources and notes are also included at the end.
Other works by the authors are listed. Very worthwhile book. So glad I got to read it.
Won this book in a contest and this is my honest opinion.
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