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10 Code Marriage: Thriving in a First Responder Life
10 Code Life. It is something we become, something we absorb and accept. We love this life and hate it at the same time. It never leaves us. We focus on a First Responder marriage, however, it is really for anyone who wants to grow a deeper relationship with a spouse.
The First Responder life is a crazy roller coaster. It is something we become, something we absorb and accept. We love this life, but we can despise it at the same time. It will never leave us. We have been the husband and wife who were searching—the wife longing for someone to understand, the wife not sure how to handle a husband being a First Responder, the husband trying to show commitment to family and his job, the husband not sure of his next steps.
We are a Law Enforcement family who had to walk through the unimaginable—a critical incident. We always knew it was a possibility but until we experienced it, we never grasped how life-changing a critical incident could be. We had to walk through this trial and keep believing that we would be better from it. It was tough on our marriage, our family life. Everything had changed. We know the difficulties and stress, we understand being gone for days on end, we get the pressure of the job, the high-intensity situations, we get it, and we are hoping you can learn from what we have walked through.
This book focuses on a First Responder marriage, whether it is Military, Medical, Fire, Law Enforcement—it’s for all First Responders. However, it is really for any marriage—anyone who wants to grow a deeper relationship with their spouse. It’s for anyone who wants to know a little more about the First Responder life and the difficulties they go through daily in their work and family life.
In no way are we marriage experts. We don’t claim that this book will totally make things better or automatically enlighten you on how to fix everything. However, we share many of our very personal experiences that we hope you can relate to—stories of our trials, ups and downs in a 10 Code Marriage. Our purpose for this book is that you will find comfort in these stories and know that you are not alone—that these chapters will speak wisdom into your life.
The First Responder life is a crazy roller coaster. It is something we become, something we absorb and accept. We love this life, but we can despise it at the same time. It will never leave us. We have been the husband and wife who were searching—the wife longing for someone to understand, the wife not sure how to handle a husband being a First Responder, the husband trying to show commitment to family and his job, the husband not sure of his next steps.
We are a Law Enforcement family who had to walk through the unimaginable—a critical incident. We always knew it was a possibility but until we experienced it, we never grasped how life-changing a critical incident could be. We had to walk through this trial and keep believing that we would be better from it. It was tough on our marriage, our family life. Everything had changed. We know the difficulties and stress, we understand being gone for days on end, we get the pressure of the job, the high-intensity situations, we get it, and we are hoping you can learn from what we have walked through.
This book focuses on a First Responder marriage, whether it is Military, Medical, Fire, Law Enforcement—it’s for all First Responders. However, it is really for any marriage—anyone who wants to grow a deeper relationship with their spouse. It’s for anyone who wants to know a little more about the First Responder life and the difficulties they go through daily in their work and family life.
In no way are we marriage experts. We don’t claim that this book will totally make things better or automatically enlighten you on how to fix everything. However, we share many of our very personal experiences that we hope you can relate to—stories of our trials, ups and downs in a 10 Code Marriage. Our purpose for this book is that you will find comfort in these stories and know that you are not alone—that these chapters will speak wisdom into your life.
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 16, 2021
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9 people want to read
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
September 3, 2023
FTC Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book. These are my honest thoughts.
This was an important book. It provides support for first responders and their families. It promoted solid, Bible-based marital advice. And it encouraged the reader to continue helping people even when it’s hard.
Sadly, there was a double-standard on swearing. On the one hand, it was claimed that “There is zero point in having foul language come out of your mouth. It doesn’t make you look smart, it doesn’t make your point come across any better than appropriate words.” But on the other, it was said that “Sometimes I know these words just come out or it happens, and that’s not the profanity I am talking about.” However, according to the Bible, “no foul language” should come out of our mouths (Ephesians 4:29 HCSB). It doesn’t say that it’s conditional on what we’re feeling or experiencing, so this line was definitely disappointing.
It felt like at least a fourth of the book talked about needing a break from one’s kids. This was very difficult for me to understand, as I grew up in a home where my parents never complained about raising my sister and me and never whined about needing a break from us. They treasured having us and wanted to spend as much time with us as their respective jobs allowed. To have so much of the book focus on this aspect really broke my heart.
There were so many quotable moments! Here are just a few of the lines that caught my attention.
“when we stop comparing, we start to appreciate”
“I felt this pull that I wanted to do more, I wanted more from church. This is what God was stirring in me, I felt this emptiness that needed to be filled.”
“Surrendering your life to Jesus doesn’t mean all of your problems and trials will go away and that you will be filled with prosperity, wealth, and all the riches that you desire. That is the prosperity gospel preached by false teachers and is completely opposite of what Jesus taught.”
“I sought after the one person that I knew could give me peace, Jesus.”
“The only thing that lasts is the Word of God and His promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Content: replacement expletives, replacement profanity, crude sexual terms, gambling references, drugs
This was an important book. It provides support for first responders and their families. It promoted solid, Bible-based marital advice. And it encouraged the reader to continue helping people even when it’s hard.
Sadly, there was a double-standard on swearing. On the one hand, it was claimed that “There is zero point in having foul language come out of your mouth. It doesn’t make you look smart, it doesn’t make your point come across any better than appropriate words.” But on the other, it was said that “Sometimes I know these words just come out or it happens, and that’s not the profanity I am talking about.” However, according to the Bible, “no foul language” should come out of our mouths (Ephesians 4:29 HCSB). It doesn’t say that it’s conditional on what we’re feeling or experiencing, so this line was definitely disappointing.
It felt like at least a fourth of the book talked about needing a break from one’s kids. This was very difficult for me to understand, as I grew up in a home where my parents never complained about raising my sister and me and never whined about needing a break from us. They treasured having us and wanted to spend as much time with us as their respective jobs allowed. To have so much of the book focus on this aspect really broke my heart.
There were so many quotable moments! Here are just a few of the lines that caught my attention.
“when we stop comparing, we start to appreciate”
“I felt this pull that I wanted to do more, I wanted more from church. This is what God was stirring in me, I felt this emptiness that needed to be filled.”
“Surrendering your life to Jesus doesn’t mean all of your problems and trials will go away and that you will be filled with prosperity, wealth, and all the riches that you desire. That is the prosperity gospel preached by false teachers and is completely opposite of what Jesus taught.”
“I sought after the one person that I knew could give me peace, Jesus.”
“The only thing that lasts is the Word of God and His promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Content: replacement expletives, replacement profanity, crude sexual terms, gambling references, drugs
Displaying 1 of 1 review