The Availability Index: What men wish women knew about the signals women send

by Brett Johnson

Some years ago my wife, Lyn, and I sat around our kitchen table with a group of single but-want-to-be-married folks in their twenties and thirties. I made the following “Women have an availability index emblazoned on their foreheads letting men know whether they are even approachable. Some indices are so low it would be going into the arctic to venture there, and some are so high they come off as needy. Right in the middle is ‘the zone’ of healthy availability.” While this got a “Dude, that’s totally true” from the men, it started a fire storm among the women. “That’s that true! No way!” So I said, “On a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is cold and 5 is overly need… Sally!” (Not her real name, of course... I cannot remember who I chose.).” Immediately the otherwise clueless bachelors chimed in. “2.7” “3.0” “2.8” Then I chose another name at the other end of the spectrum. “Gertrude.” “1.5” “1.85” “1.6” Like the calibration of a good rifle, these men grouped their perceptions tightly. The ladies around the table looked a little shocked. After a while I was asked the question, “Do men have the same index?” Initially I thought the topics for men and women were the same, roughly. The longer I considered it, however, the more I realized there is a parallel but different index for guys, The Initiative Index (I.I.). Men wear it on their heads like a thermometer, and women can see it just as clearly as men can see The Availability Index (A.I.) dial. Women look at men and ask themselves, “Will this man lead me? Will he snag me with charm, and then settle into passivity? Or is he one who will continually take initiative?” The men’s story can be found in their own book, The Initiative Index. Since then I have mentioned this Availability Index (A.I.) occasionally to a person or two whom I know wants to be married, but who, for whatever reason, sends out a signal saying, “I am fine on my I don’t want to be in a relationship.” The fault, if you care to label it that way, is not entirely with the sender of the signal. The challenge is that many men are fearful and absent some encouragement from a woman, they will not actually take the challenge and pursue a “not interested” woman. I love strong women. What I mean is, I love women who are secure in themselves and are pursuing life with gusto. Few men really like a bossy, wear the pants, state your opinion bluntly, rule the world woman. Trust me on this one ladies. That said, we live in an era that produces women who appear strong, if only to survive. This adds to the challenge and raises a “How do I remain strong and still have an A.I. still in the zone?”

59 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 21, 2020

About the author

Brett Johnson is the founder of The Institute for Innovation, Integration & Impact, Inc, which is headquartered in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Passionate about the abolition of dichotomy­—eradicating the false barriers between facets of life, Brett is particularly interested in removing the barrier between the so-called secular and sacred. A chartered accountant, writer, father and social entrepreneur, Brett is dedicated to societal transformation through business and leadership development.

Brett has over thirty years of experience with leading public accounting and management consulting firms. He and the team at The Institute have repurposed hundreds of corporations, working extensively with executive groups within businesses, NGOs and international charities, helping them dream new futures, and align around a common purpose.

A South African native, Brett has lived in the USA since 1986.