What do you think?
Rate this book
What the Bible Says about Divorce and Remarriage
New from Bestselling Author Wayne Grudem
The topic of divorce is a complicated one, even among Christians. The Bible provides some clear answers, but gray areas remain. In this short booklet, theologian Wayne Grudem offers a thought-provoking analysis of what the Bible says—and doesn’t say—about divorce and remarriage.
The topic of divorce is a complicated one, even among Christians. The Bible provides some clear answers, but gray areas remain. In this short booklet, theologian Wayne Grudem offers a thought-provoking analysis of what the Bible says—and doesn’t say—about divorce and remarriage.
92 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 28, 2021
24 people are currently reading
86 people want to read
About the author
Wayne Grudem
123 books335 followersWayne Grudem (PhD, University of Cambridge; DD, Westminster Theological Seminary) is research professor of theology and biblical studies at Phoenix Seminary, having previously taught for 20 years at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Grudem earned his undergraduate degree at Harvard University, as well as an MDiv from Westminster Seminary. He is the former president of the Evangelical Theological Society, a cofounder and past president of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, a member of the Translation Oversight Committee for the English Standard Version of the Bible, the general editor of the ESV Study Bible, and has published over 20 books, including Systematic Theology, Evangelical Feminism, Politics—According to the Bible, and Business for the Glory of God.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
Read
March 27, 2021The Bible describes marriage as a God-initiated union established before witnesses, a union that is indissoluble. Indeed, God’s plan is for a man and a woman to enter a marriage covenant that lasts a lifetime. Jesus told the inquisitive Pharisees, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 19:6b). The only event that may break the covenant is death (Rom. 7:2) at which point the living spouse is free to remarry.
Wayne Grudem’s book, What the Bible Says About Divorce and Remarriage attempts to navigate a biblical path for people in search of answers. As stated above, Dr. Grudem holds to a marital union that is lifelong and monogamous. Since we live in a world that is polluted by sin, the standard that God expects is often jettisoned and disobeyed.
While the author has a high view of marriage, he does maintain that in some cases, remarriage may be permissible - even when the previous spouse is still living. He sets forth his case in a clear and gracious way and notes his objections to authors such as J. Carl Laney.
The great strength of this work is its brevity and readability. Even though I deeply respect Dr. Grudem and have been impacted by his life and writing ministry in a multitude of ways, my convictions are closer to those outlined by Laney in his seminal work, The Divorce Myth.
I encourage readers to wrestle with Grudem’s position and contrast it with other views, such as Laney, Heth, and Jim Ellif.
Wayne Grudem’s book, What the Bible Says About Divorce and Remarriage attempts to navigate a biblical path for people in search of answers. As stated above, Dr. Grudem holds to a marital union that is lifelong and monogamous. Since we live in a world that is polluted by sin, the standard that God expects is often jettisoned and disobeyed.
While the author has a high view of marriage, he does maintain that in some cases, remarriage may be permissible - even when the previous spouse is still living. He sets forth his case in a clear and gracious way and notes his objections to authors such as J. Carl Laney.
The great strength of this work is its brevity and readability. Even though I deeply respect Dr. Grudem and have been impacted by his life and writing ministry in a multitude of ways, my convictions are closer to those outlined by Laney in his seminal work, The Divorce Myth.
I encourage readers to wrestle with Grudem’s position and contrast it with other views, such as Laney, Heth, and Jim Ellif.
January 19, 2021
The short text is in title format as it lists scripture relating to marriage and divorce. Both in the Old Testament and New. The text takes into consideration of the context of the time. For example men divorced women because their cooking was terrible or they were not attractive enough. This left women in a terrible situation with no one to care for their needs. Now of course it is different which the text does not elaborate but it does elaborate on the gospel. This text does condemn mistreatment of women and the recourse that women have in divorce. Jesus' rebuke of men handing out divorce to women that they should have been caring for is not the gospel.
It is very encouraging that God saw and made a way for the hard hearts of men that did not consider their spouse. It is a reminder that marriage is one way that God's glory is displayed.
A Special Thank you to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
December 5, 2024
Grudem argues from Matthew 19 that adultery, pornography, and other external and sexually immoral acts are grounds for divorce.
He also argues that 1 Corinthians 7 permits divorce (on a case by case basis) for abandonment, abuse, prolonged verbal cruelty, threats of harm, drug or alcohol addiction, “incorrigible” gambling addiction, and pornography addiction.
His shoehorning of all those qualifications into the words “in such cases” in 1 Cor. 7 is, it seems to me, completely unwarranted and unjustifiable. His interpretation of the exception clause in Matthew 19 is certainly possible.
Insufficiently interacts with other positions.
Overall, meh
He also argues that 1 Corinthians 7 permits divorce (on a case by case basis) for abandonment, abuse, prolonged verbal cruelty, threats of harm, drug or alcohol addiction, “incorrigible” gambling addiction, and pornography addiction.
His shoehorning of all those qualifications into the words “in such cases” in 1 Cor. 7 is, it seems to me, completely unwarranted and unjustifiable. His interpretation of the exception clause in Matthew 19 is certainly possible.
Insufficiently interacts with other positions.
Overall, meh
July 19, 2023
Great insight into what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. Deep theological truths. Also this book gives different perspectives on how people view certain text, while circling back around to ask the question, what does God’s Word truly say about the topic. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with this topic and is unclear on the subject of divorce and remarriage!
March 7, 2025
Wayne Grudem is a well-known Christian author and theologian. I know him best for his work relating to the complementarian-egalitarian debate, but he has published numerous books. In this short book he sets about to explain what Biblical allowances for divorce and remarriage are.
He begins his book by letting the readers know that divorce isn't nearly as common as is normally cited. He believes that in Christian circles somewhere around 85 percent of marriages last a lifetime.
He then moves to analyzing the different Old Testament and New Testament passages that speak of divorce and finally addresses alternate views on the question of divorce and remarriage. Because the book is short, he has little space to explain in detail the reasons for his opinions and that is a major failing.
I believe that Grudem has a high view of marriage. He believes rightly that Jesus intended for marriage to be for a lifetime and that it is only through sinful behaviors and attitudes that the marriage bond breaks down and fractures.
When we come down to the appropriate reasons for divorce, Grudem has a long list. These include adultery (Matthew 19), but also abuse, abandonment, drug abuse and a whole lot of other things. This latter list he gets from I Corinthians 7:15 "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace." I am not in disagreement with the idea that women (and men) do not need to stay in unsafe relationships, but the list seems arbitrary and something the Grudem created whole-cloth out of this short phrase "in such cases."
Moving on to the question of remarriage, Grudem comes down firmly on the belief that remarriage is allowed in all situations where divorce was allowed. In this case, he argues, not so much from Biblical analysis, but from the fact that he doesn't think God would have people deny themselves the beauty of marriage and if your former spouse is divorced from you and remarried, then you don't have a marriage, regardless of fault and so you are no longer under bondage.
He finishes up briefly saying that Heth and Wenham were clearly wrong in their view on remarriage. Grudem's book was published a few years prior to Drew Das's book "Remarriage in Early Christianity," but I am certain Grudem would have had the same issues with that book.
My concern with the book is that its title would have been better written, "After Reading the Bible, What Wayne Grudem thinks is Reasonable to do with Divorce and Remarriage in the 21st Century." It seems clear that the early church valued singleness and had a strong ascetic flavor that has been lost in the 20th and 21st centuries, where the church values marriage and families far more than singleness. Grudem admits that people could pull out verses having to do with suffering, but he doesn't really think that is a major aspect of the Christian experience.
The question is what Jesus really meant for us to do and how we can put it into practice. Jesus came, not simply to forgive our sins, but to free us from them. He came to show us a path of cross bearing (suffering) and self-denial. He spoke of a man leaving father and mother and wife and brothers and sisters for the sake of the Gospel. He spoke of men choosing to be "eunuchs" for the sake of the Gospel.
Grudem may be right, every time a divorce occurs, the divorcee can get remarried, but I would like to have seen him address with rigor some of the objections brought by Wenham and Das and do so from Scripture and from the practice of the early church -- not simply from his own belief system.
He begins his book by letting the readers know that divorce isn't nearly as common as is normally cited. He believes that in Christian circles somewhere around 85 percent of marriages last a lifetime.
He then moves to analyzing the different Old Testament and New Testament passages that speak of divorce and finally addresses alternate views on the question of divorce and remarriage. Because the book is short, he has little space to explain in detail the reasons for his opinions and that is a major failing.
I believe that Grudem has a high view of marriage. He believes rightly that Jesus intended for marriage to be for a lifetime and that it is only through sinful behaviors and attitudes that the marriage bond breaks down and fractures.
When we come down to the appropriate reasons for divorce, Grudem has a long list. These include adultery (Matthew 19), but also abuse, abandonment, drug abuse and a whole lot of other things. This latter list he gets from I Corinthians 7:15 "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace." I am not in disagreement with the idea that women (and men) do not need to stay in unsafe relationships, but the list seems arbitrary and something the Grudem created whole-cloth out of this short phrase "in such cases."
Moving on to the question of remarriage, Grudem comes down firmly on the belief that remarriage is allowed in all situations where divorce was allowed. In this case, he argues, not so much from Biblical analysis, but from the fact that he doesn't think God would have people deny themselves the beauty of marriage and if your former spouse is divorced from you and remarried, then you don't have a marriage, regardless of fault and so you are no longer under bondage.
He finishes up briefly saying that Heth and Wenham were clearly wrong in their view on remarriage. Grudem's book was published a few years prior to Drew Das's book "Remarriage in Early Christianity," but I am certain Grudem would have had the same issues with that book.
My concern with the book is that its title would have been better written, "After Reading the Bible, What Wayne Grudem thinks is Reasonable to do with Divorce and Remarriage in the 21st Century." It seems clear that the early church valued singleness and had a strong ascetic flavor that has been lost in the 20th and 21st centuries, where the church values marriage and families far more than singleness. Grudem admits that people could pull out verses having to do with suffering, but he doesn't really think that is a major aspect of the Christian experience.
The question is what Jesus really meant for us to do and how we can put it into practice. Jesus came, not simply to forgive our sins, but to free us from them. He came to show us a path of cross bearing (suffering) and self-denial. He spoke of a man leaving father and mother and wife and brothers and sisters for the sake of the Gospel. He spoke of men choosing to be "eunuchs" for the sake of the Gospel.
Grudem may be right, every time a divorce occurs, the divorcee can get remarried, but I would like to have seen him address with rigor some of the objections brought by Wenham and Das and do so from Scripture and from the practice of the early church -- not simply from his own belief system.
January 22, 2025
A succinct explanation of the Bible's teachings on divorce and remarriage, and critiques of alternative views (more strict and lenient). Although the book is short, it's somewhat repetitive in places.
Grudem starts with the position is that divorce and remarriage are explicitly allowed in 2 cases: adultery and desertion. This has been the majority view among Protestants since the Reformation, and is the view presented in the Westminster Confession of Faith. However, Grudem explains that he has recently gone a step further and is now convinced that the phrase "in such cases" in 1 Cor 7:15 may imply that divorce may be legitimate in other circumstances that destroy marriage as seriously as adultery or desertion; for example, physical or emotional abuse, or incorrigible addictions. I wasn't convinced by his case for these additional grounds for divorce, due to the lack of biblical support.
Notes
Divorce and its Consequences
God hates divorce and its consequences (Mal 2:16), but that doesn't mean all divorce is morally wrong, as seen from other verses.
God's original plan for marriage is that it be lifelong and monogamous (Gen 1:27-28; 2:22-25; Matt 19:3-6).
God allowed divorce as a remedy in some cases where marriages were irreparably damaged, but lifelong monogamous marriage is still God's ideal.
In Old Testament (OT), divorce was allowed in certain cases. Several passages mention divorces occurring, and they're tolerated and regulated (Lev 21:7; 22:13; Num 30:9; Deut 22:19, 29).
Deut 24:1-4 assumes that some divorces would take occur, without specifying "indecency" that allows divorce. It simply prohibits woman from returning to 1st husband if 1) 1st husband divorces her because of "indecency" and 2) she marries 2nd husband and 3) 2nd husband dies or divorces her. After 1st divorce, woman had right to remarry, and that 2nd marriage wasn't considered adultery, but legitimate (she's called the 2nd man's wife).
Lev 21:7 assumes that those who aren't priests could marry a divorced woman.
In Jer 3:8 God portrays Himself as a husband divorcing his unfaithful wife due to adultery.
In New Testament (NT), divorce is explicitly allowed in 2 cases: adultery and desertion.
Jesus allowed divorce and remarriage on account of adultery (Matt 19:3-9).
In Matt 19:3-9 (cf. Mark 10:3-12) Jesus said divorce for reasons other than adultery doesn't dissolve the marriage in God's eyes. Jesus said the man who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery (Matt 19:9), and adultery can only be committed by a married person. This means Jesus was saying a man who wrongly divorces his wife is illegitimately divorced, and is actually still married to his original wife when he initiates 2nd marriage.
Jesus allowed, but didn't command, divorce for adultery. In new covenant age, Jesus removed death penalty for adultery, and established 2 options in case of adultery: 1) forgiveness and restoration (preferable) or 2) sending spouse away (divorce).
Exception clause (Matt 5:32; 19:9) implies the converse: divorce and remarriage on ground of sexual immorality aren't prohibited and don't constitute adultery. "And marries another" implies that both divorce and remarriage are allowed in case of sexual immorality. If you remove "and marries another," the statement no longer makes sense, because that would make Jesus say that a man who divorces and doesn't remarry commits adultery.
Word "porneia" which is translated "sexual immorality" was broad term that included call kinds of sexually immoral conduct, including adultery, prostitution, incest, homosexuality, bestiality.
In 1st century Jewish, Roman, and Greek cultures, divorce always included right to remarry. This doesn't mean Jesus agreed with these cultures, but it means that if He intended to teach that divorce was sometimes allowed but remarriage was never allowed, He would've needed to be very clear about that.
"Whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matt 5:32) is connected to earlier part of verse, and means that whoever marries a woman who is wrongly divorced (divorced for reasons other than sexual immorality) commits adultery.
The reason Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:8 don't include exception clause is probably that there was no dispute among Jewish, Roman, or Greek culture that adultery was legitimate cause for divorce, and Jesus wasn't addressing that issue, but was addressing question of what other (trivial) situations allowed divorce.
Paul added desertion as 2nd legitimate reason for divorce (1 Cor 7:10-15). 1 Cor 7:15 most likely implies freedom to obtain legal divorce and freedom to marry someone else. Spouse who's been abandoned isn't enslaved to deserting partner.
If deserting spouse is professing Christian, church must exercise discipline (Matt 18) to attempt to bring reconciliation. If discipline results in final step of excommunication, then deserting spouse should be treated as unbeliever (Matt 18:17).
"In such cases" rather than "in this case" in 1 Cor 7:15 may imply that divorce may be legitimate in other circumstances that destroy marriage as seriously as adultery or desertion.
Other situations that may destroy marriage as much as adultery or desertion: abuse of spouse (physical, verbal/emotional); abuse of children; extreme prolonged verbal and emotional cruelty; credible threats of serious physical harm or murder; incorrigible drug or alcohol addiction; incorrigible gambling addiction; incorrigible addiction to pornography. Whether these qualify as grounds for divorce depends on actual degree of harm in individual case, and whether there's a reasonable hope that destructive behavior has ended and marriage can be saved.
In abuse cases, pastors and counselors should first seek to restore marriage to health, as long as abused spouse is protected.
Questions about Specific Situations
People who've been divorced for unbiblical reasons, then remarried, have committed adultery by starting 2nd marriage (Matt 19:9). "And marries another" in Matt 19:9 implies 2nd marriage is a true marriage; He doesn't say "and lives outside marriage with another." Breaking up 2nd marriage would be further sin, because it would destroy another marriage. 2nd marriage isn't continual adultery; spouses are now married to each other, not to anyone else. Couple should ask God to forgive them for sin of starting 2nd marriage, and for help to make 2nd marriage good.
Divorced men can become church officers (elders and deacons). All other qualifications for office refer to present status, not entire life, so it makes sense that qualification to have one wife also refers to present status, not entire life. If qualifications required that man only ever be married once, that would rule out widowers who had remarried, yet 1 Cor 7:39 and 1 Tim 5:14 encourage remarriage of widows. "Husband of one wife" probably means a polygamist may not hold office. Paul could've said "having only been married once," but didn't.
We should work toward civil laws reflecting biblical standards about marriage and divorce, because marriage was established at creation for all people (believers and unbelievers), for benefit of individuals and society (Gen 1:27-28; 2:21, 25).
Matt 19:9 doesn't teach that every marriage after divorce is adultery. There's one subject ("whoever") for all 3 verbs, not 2 subjects. Jesus didn't make 1 statement about divorce and another about remarriage, but 1 statement about divorce and remarriage.
Matt 5:27-32 says someone who wrongly divorces his wife makes her commit adultery; Bible never teaches that divorce itself is adultery.
Jesus' statements on divorce and remarriage aren't about betrothal/engagement period. He was asked about divorce in general, and nothing in context limits scope to fornication discovered during betrothal/engagement period.
Grudem starts with the position is that divorce and remarriage are explicitly allowed in 2 cases: adultery and desertion. This has been the majority view among Protestants since the Reformation, and is the view presented in the Westminster Confession of Faith. However, Grudem explains that he has recently gone a step further and is now convinced that the phrase "in such cases" in 1 Cor 7:15 may imply that divorce may be legitimate in other circumstances that destroy marriage as seriously as adultery or desertion; for example, physical or emotional abuse, or incorrigible addictions. I wasn't convinced by his case for these additional grounds for divorce, due to the lack of biblical support.
Notes
Divorce and its Consequences
God hates divorce and its consequences (Mal 2:16), but that doesn't mean all divorce is morally wrong, as seen from other verses.
God's original plan for marriage is that it be lifelong and monogamous (Gen 1:27-28; 2:22-25; Matt 19:3-6).
God allowed divorce as a remedy in some cases where marriages were irreparably damaged, but lifelong monogamous marriage is still God's ideal.
In Old Testament (OT), divorce was allowed in certain cases. Several passages mention divorces occurring, and they're tolerated and regulated (Lev 21:7; 22:13; Num 30:9; Deut 22:19, 29).
Deut 24:1-4 assumes that some divorces would take occur, without specifying "indecency" that allows divorce. It simply prohibits woman from returning to 1st husband if 1) 1st husband divorces her because of "indecency" and 2) she marries 2nd husband and 3) 2nd husband dies or divorces her. After 1st divorce, woman had right to remarry, and that 2nd marriage wasn't considered adultery, but legitimate (she's called the 2nd man's wife).
Lev 21:7 assumes that those who aren't priests could marry a divorced woman.
In Jer 3:8 God portrays Himself as a husband divorcing his unfaithful wife due to adultery.
In New Testament (NT), divorce is explicitly allowed in 2 cases: adultery and desertion.
Jesus allowed divorce and remarriage on account of adultery (Matt 19:3-9).
In Matt 19:3-9 (cf. Mark 10:3-12) Jesus said divorce for reasons other than adultery doesn't dissolve the marriage in God's eyes. Jesus said the man who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery (Matt 19:9), and adultery can only be committed by a married person. This means Jesus was saying a man who wrongly divorces his wife is illegitimately divorced, and is actually still married to his original wife when he initiates 2nd marriage.
Jesus allowed, but didn't command, divorce for adultery. In new covenant age, Jesus removed death penalty for adultery, and established 2 options in case of adultery: 1) forgiveness and restoration (preferable) or 2) sending spouse away (divorce).
Exception clause (Matt 5:32; 19:9) implies the converse: divorce and remarriage on ground of sexual immorality aren't prohibited and don't constitute adultery. "And marries another" implies that both divorce and remarriage are allowed in case of sexual immorality. If you remove "and marries another," the statement no longer makes sense, because that would make Jesus say that a man who divorces and doesn't remarry commits adultery.
Word "porneia" which is translated "sexual immorality" was broad term that included call kinds of sexually immoral conduct, including adultery, prostitution, incest, homosexuality, bestiality.
In 1st century Jewish, Roman, and Greek cultures, divorce always included right to remarry. This doesn't mean Jesus agreed with these cultures, but it means that if He intended to teach that divorce was sometimes allowed but remarriage was never allowed, He would've needed to be very clear about that.
"Whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matt 5:32) is connected to earlier part of verse, and means that whoever marries a woman who is wrongly divorced (divorced for reasons other than sexual immorality) commits adultery.
The reason Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:8 don't include exception clause is probably that there was no dispute among Jewish, Roman, or Greek culture that adultery was legitimate cause for divorce, and Jesus wasn't addressing that issue, but was addressing question of what other (trivial) situations allowed divorce.
Paul added desertion as 2nd legitimate reason for divorce (1 Cor 7:10-15). 1 Cor 7:15 most likely implies freedom to obtain legal divorce and freedom to marry someone else. Spouse who's been abandoned isn't enslaved to deserting partner.
If deserting spouse is professing Christian, church must exercise discipline (Matt 18) to attempt to bring reconciliation. If discipline results in final step of excommunication, then deserting spouse should be treated as unbeliever (Matt 18:17).
"In such cases" rather than "in this case" in 1 Cor 7:15 may imply that divorce may be legitimate in other circumstances that destroy marriage as seriously as adultery or desertion.
Other situations that may destroy marriage as much as adultery or desertion: abuse of spouse (physical, verbal/emotional); abuse of children; extreme prolonged verbal and emotional cruelty; credible threats of serious physical harm or murder; incorrigible drug or alcohol addiction; incorrigible gambling addiction; incorrigible addiction to pornography. Whether these qualify as grounds for divorce depends on actual degree of harm in individual case, and whether there's a reasonable hope that destructive behavior has ended and marriage can be saved.
In abuse cases, pastors and counselors should first seek to restore marriage to health, as long as abused spouse is protected.
Questions about Specific Situations
People who've been divorced for unbiblical reasons, then remarried, have committed adultery by starting 2nd marriage (Matt 19:9). "And marries another" in Matt 19:9 implies 2nd marriage is a true marriage; He doesn't say "and lives outside marriage with another." Breaking up 2nd marriage would be further sin, because it would destroy another marriage. 2nd marriage isn't continual adultery; spouses are now married to each other, not to anyone else. Couple should ask God to forgive them for sin of starting 2nd marriage, and for help to make 2nd marriage good.
Divorced men can become church officers (elders and deacons). All other qualifications for office refer to present status, not entire life, so it makes sense that qualification to have one wife also refers to present status, not entire life. If qualifications required that man only ever be married once, that would rule out widowers who had remarried, yet 1 Cor 7:39 and 1 Tim 5:14 encourage remarriage of widows. "Husband of one wife" probably means a polygamist may not hold office. Paul could've said "having only been married once," but didn't.
We should work toward civil laws reflecting biblical standards about marriage and divorce, because marriage was established at creation for all people (believers and unbelievers), for benefit of individuals and society (Gen 1:27-28; 2:21, 25).
Matt 19:9 doesn't teach that every marriage after divorce is adultery. There's one subject ("whoever") for all 3 verbs, not 2 subjects. Jesus didn't make 1 statement about divorce and another about remarriage, but 1 statement about divorce and remarriage.
Matt 5:27-32 says someone who wrongly divorces his wife makes her commit adultery; Bible never teaches that divorce itself is adultery.
Jesus' statements on divorce and remarriage aren't about betrothal/engagement period. He was asked about divorce in general, and nothing in context limits scope to fornication discovered during betrothal/engagement period.
April 14, 2021
In the short booklet, What the Bible Says about Divorce and Remarriage, Wayne Grudem studies the complicated topics and ethics of divorce and remarriage from a Christians perspective. What does Scripture say about marriage, divorce, and remarriage? Is divorce permissible? If it is permissible, then is remarriage also permissible? When counseling and caring for those facing divorce or remarriage, where do we find that balance between respecting the sacred institution of marriage and care for people in the midst of sin and suffering? Does Scripture provide clear guidance and every situation, or does it provide general guidance that needs to be applied to the various situations we find ourselves in? Grudem seeks to provide practical, biblical advice to those who are facing these tough questions.
Scripture is clear on God's intent for marriage and his tender heart towards those genuinely seeking him when facing the questions of divorce and/or remarriage. Grudem advocates for expanding Paul's statement “in such cases” to include additional, undefined reasons for divorce, such as abuse. This position seeks to care for those involved, especially victims, but taken too far could lead to justifying divorce for any reason. As a Biblical Counselor I find myself in the middle of the difficult questions that Grudem seeks to answer. The thing you learn first is that life is messy, and sin brings about heart-breaking brokenness. I found Grudem's discussions on the various Scripture passages and ethics surrounding divorce and remarriage helpful and practical.
This book is a great resource for those facing the difficulties of divorce or remarriage or those walking with someone who is. I recommend this book for pastors, elders, biblical counselors as a great resource for what Scripture says about these topics. It has helpful sections to think through difficult situations where a clear direction is not apparent. Grudem has thoughtfully worked through the various Scriptures on divorce and remarriage and applied them to real situations. His analysis is Biblical and charitable to differing positions.
Scripture is clear on God's intent for marriage and his tender heart towards those genuinely seeking him when facing the questions of divorce and/or remarriage. Grudem advocates for expanding Paul's statement “in such cases” to include additional, undefined reasons for divorce, such as abuse. This position seeks to care for those involved, especially victims, but taken too far could lead to justifying divorce for any reason. As a Biblical Counselor I find myself in the middle of the difficult questions that Grudem seeks to answer. The thing you learn first is that life is messy, and sin brings about heart-breaking brokenness. I found Grudem's discussions on the various Scripture passages and ethics surrounding divorce and remarriage helpful and practical.
This book is a great resource for those facing the difficulties of divorce or remarriage or those walking with someone who is. I recommend this book for pastors, elders, biblical counselors as a great resource for what Scripture says about these topics. It has helpful sections to think through difficult situations where a clear direction is not apparent. Grudem has thoughtfully worked through the various Scriptures on divorce and remarriage and applied them to real situations. His analysis is Biblical and charitable to differing positions.
January 14, 2025
Grudem’s work is concise and, for the most part, well-argued. There is much in this book that I agree with and appreciate the way the arcuements were laid out. It has a primarily biblical and biblical language approach, yet also uses facts from studies, historical arguments, and practical arguments. This is a good overview for many of the questions about the topic and how to argue the answer biblically.
However, there are some conclusions that I disagree with. I disagree with his argument that there are other reasons outside of adultery and abandonment for divorce which he argues from 1 Cor 7:15. This argument too heavily relies on inferences and the Greek of one phrase to conversely give so many potential allowances. How can something so vague and unassuming in the text grant more allowances than the direct words of Jesus on the issue?
Likewise, I disagree with his treatment of the qualifications of elders as being present characteristics when all of those qualifications are measured over time. You can presently be “not a lover of money” because you haven’t extorted anyone in this present day but still be known as a lover of money historically on every other day. That’s disqualifying. Likewise, how can you measure if one is a good manager of his household except to measure it historically over time? Even more, Grudem makes his argument that deacons and pastors can be divorced and remarried and then argues the exact opposite in 1 Timothy 5:9 for a similar phrase about widows. His look at this text basically refutes the position he held for deacons and elders.
Overall, the work is worth reading as a quick treatment on the topic and is well done - as much of Grudem’s writing is. However, I do disagree with his reasoning on a few points and rate it lower as such.
However, there are some conclusions that I disagree with. I disagree with his argument that there are other reasons outside of adultery and abandonment for divorce which he argues from 1 Cor 7:15. This argument too heavily relies on inferences and the Greek of one phrase to conversely give so many potential allowances. How can something so vague and unassuming in the text grant more allowances than the direct words of Jesus on the issue?
Likewise, I disagree with his treatment of the qualifications of elders as being present characteristics when all of those qualifications are measured over time. You can presently be “not a lover of money” because you haven’t extorted anyone in this present day but still be known as a lover of money historically on every other day. That’s disqualifying. Likewise, how can you measure if one is a good manager of his household except to measure it historically over time? Even more, Grudem makes his argument that deacons and pastors can be divorced and remarried and then argues the exact opposite in 1 Timothy 5:9 for a similar phrase about widows. His look at this text basically refutes the position he held for deacons and elders.
Overall, the work is worth reading as a quick treatment on the topic and is well done - as much of Grudem’s writing is. However, I do disagree with his reasoning on a few points and rate it lower as such.
February 24, 2021
Grudem tackles the topics head on without fear of disagreement. He starts the book by showing statistics and numbers, and how certain impressions don't reflect reality, especially within Christianity. He moves to defend the majority evangelical view that divorce is allowed based on Moses' and Jesus' permissions given adultery and abandonment. This second term is tricky, and Grudem makes careful distinctions to show that not every reason given by spouses should be classified as abandonment prima facie. He is stricter on remarriage than other evangelicals, but stays within the "popular views" nonetheless.
Overall, Grudem goes through all the verses which serve the topics, he provides his exegesis and states his position in a clear manner. Good short book on this topics which are becoming controversial given the rise of feminism and marriage conflicts arising in this post-modern age.
Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this book.
Overall, Grudem goes through all the verses which serve the topics, he provides his exegesis and states his position in a clear manner. Good short book on this topics which are becoming controversial given the rise of feminism and marriage conflicts arising in this post-modern age.
Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this book.
January 29, 2023
Nothing particularly new. I got more from what I had read in the bibliography listed (prior to reading this book). Overall well-written but fails to address a few other arguments. For instance, the argument of NT believers being priests and priests being forbidden from marrying divorcees. No mention of Joseph secretly minded to "Put away" Mary. Also, fails to either refute or endorse the point that the Hebrew words translated as putting away and divorce are different. Why does Mark address women divorcing vs the other Gospels where it is the male.
If you have not read anything more on the subject it is a good place to start.
If you have not read anything more on the subject it is a good place to start.
January 19, 2023
This is a short book that has significant overlap with his recent Ethics book. I typically like how Grudem thinks and I can follow his reasoning well, but there were several points that I disagreed with him. This book investigates other reasons for divorce that his Ethics book did not include, particularly relating to 1 Corinthians 7 “and other such cases.” I believe Grudem comes up with a large list of reasons for divorce that neither Paul nor Jesus would agree with. I hold the minority position that his book does not take long to refute, that is, marriage is only broken by death, therefore remarriage apart from this case is always wrong. I do not feel that Grudem does justice to considering this interpretation and his position drives the interpretation of the text instead of the other way around. He also includes several emotional appeals instead of logic, which is not typical Grudem. For instance, Grudem says that many would consider a prohibition of remarriage after your divorced spouse remarries to be completely unreasonable. Perhaps, but why does he mention this, why does he use this as a big reason for disagreeing with this? In Matthew 19, the disciples are astounded at Jesus’ sayings on marriage and divorce and conclude it is simply better not to marry. This to me runs parallel to Grudem’s statement, but with the opposite conclusion. I just can’t get behind Grudem’s interpretations here. One more to add, he simply assumes translations of words at times with little consideration for others. This is particularly the case for “porneia.” I believe he needs to consider not just how the New Testament uses that word, but how Matthew uses the word. This is incredibly significant. I also don’t see him interacting with the thrusts of Matthew in regards to his interpretation. At the same time, this is a short book and therefore could be the reason for this.
October 19, 2022
Disclaimer: I only listened to this on Hoopla.
In this book, Wayne Grudem looks at what the Bible teaches in regards to divorce and remarriage. Unfortunately, the book seemed to focus half of its energy on what the phrase “in such a case” means. While this is certainly important to understand, many issues seemed left unaddressed by the book. Personally, I did not find some of Grudem’s arguments convincing; however, much of the content was still worth while.
In this book, Wayne Grudem looks at what the Bible teaches in regards to divorce and remarriage. Unfortunately, the book seemed to focus half of its energy on what the phrase “in such a case” means. While this is certainly important to understand, many issues seemed left unaddressed by the book. Personally, I did not find some of Grudem’s arguments convincing; however, much of the content was still worth while.
May 16, 2022
Succinct and comprehensive treatment of most all of the relevant texts. The historical context provided is especially good, and provides a helpful critique of the Permanence View. Helps with the Synoptic issue of why the “exception clause” is in Matthew but not Mark and Luke, which is what I was looking for.
September 8, 2025
I first learned of this book—the substance of its argument, shared online—while researching the topic on my own. Later, during seminary at SBTS, I encountered it again in my coursework. I was encouraged to see its teaching affirmed there. Grudem’s argument for the phrase “in such cases” is, in my view, particularly compelling. May this book continue to be a blessing to the Church.
March 12, 2021
Good introduction to the issues, written with deep pastoral concern. It is small and readable.
Best elements include engagement with Instone-Brewer. IMO, the conclusions about permissable scope for remarriage are not entirely convincing.
Best elements include engagement with Instone-Brewer. IMO, the conclusions about permissable scope for remarriage are not entirely convincing.
August 26, 2023
This was way more generous than I expected from Grudem.
March 25, 2024
A well-researched analysis of Biblical grounds for divorce — a quick read, chock-full of footnotes. Definitely not fluff.
May 23, 2024
Very helpful. Clearly structured throughout and persuasive.
February 22, 2025
Short and focused and very helpful. Technical in parts.
January 27, 2026
This is a good, detailed work on a hard topic.
February 1, 2024
If you’re married, want to be married, divorced, or know anyone who’s divorced this book is for you. Grudem has written an academic and exegetical look at what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. Four stars because it’s a bit dry, but Grudem’s exegesis is more thorough than Adams’s and worth a read to understand such a critical and often misunderstood topic.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews