What do you think?
Rate this book
The Power of a Graceful Leader
In The Power of a Graceful Leader, Alexsys Thompson shares how to begin integrating who you are and how you lead. Through her experience with this disconnect in her own leadership and having coached hundreds of leaders in their integration journey, Alexsys offers tools, tenets, and some relatable stories to support you in your journey toward becoming an integrated and graceful leader. You will find yourself making better decisions, building healthier relationships, and experiencing joy, love, and compassion as you transcend into the leader you were born to be.
258 pages, Paperback
Published January 8, 2021
About the author
Alexsys Thompson
11 books22 followersAlexsys Thompson, MLC, BCC completed her masters in Leadership and Executive Coaching and is a Board Certified Coach. She is the author of The Power of a Graceful Leader, and the creator of the Gratitude 540 Journal series, Founder of the Ubuntu Living Community, a keynote speaker, executive coach, member of the Forbes Coaches Council, recognized as a Top 50 Coach in 2018. Her work is guided by her life's mission to create safe spaces for souls to show up.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 16, 2021
I enjoyed this as grace and leadership are not often discussed together, but believe they need to be!
Grace is the practical expression of a loving, connected compassion with self and others. It is the ability to see yourself in the other. Alexys Thompson points out that graceful leadership is the most integrated form of leadership. It allows you to form a bridge between personal and professional, align yourself to your purpose, and adapt as required for each unique situation. The epitome of a graceful leader is knowing where to be, when to be there, and how to be there. Grace is beauty and strength combined.
Alexsys Thompson says, “Gratitude is the entry point to grace.” When you start a gratitude practice, you start noticing more things to be grateful for. It’s like the Baader–Meinhof effect, in which something that has recently come to your attention suddenly seems to appear with improbable frequency shortly afterward. The things we spend our time thinking about are the things we tend to notice. It’s a wonderful compounding loop: the more gratitude you express, the more you find to be grateful for.
The book talks about uniting your Big Self, or soul, and your Little Self, or ego. Your soul is your essence, the truest expression of who you are. It is pure, innocent, and agenda-free.
This book tells us to use grace to distinguish story from fact. We tend to move forward in situations as though our perception is truth. Curiosity and judgment cannot coexist. As soon as you stop and ask a question, you create space between your thought and the inquiry. In that space, you have a choice.
Grace is a wonderful asset in navigating conflict. It prevents us from rushing to judgment and encourages us to consider situations from others’ point of view. Grace leads to conversations instead of arguments.
A single graceful leader can set off a domino effect of grace within an organization. Will you be this leader?
Grace is the practical expression of a loving, connected compassion with self and others. It is the ability to see yourself in the other. Alexys Thompson points out that graceful leadership is the most integrated form of leadership. It allows you to form a bridge between personal and professional, align yourself to your purpose, and adapt as required for each unique situation. The epitome of a graceful leader is knowing where to be, when to be there, and how to be there. Grace is beauty and strength combined.
Alexsys Thompson says, “Gratitude is the entry point to grace.” When you start a gratitude practice, you start noticing more things to be grateful for. It’s like the Baader–Meinhof effect, in which something that has recently come to your attention suddenly seems to appear with improbable frequency shortly afterward. The things we spend our time thinking about are the things we tend to notice. It’s a wonderful compounding loop: the more gratitude you express, the more you find to be grateful for.
The book talks about uniting your Big Self, or soul, and your Little Self, or ego. Your soul is your essence, the truest expression of who you are. It is pure, innocent, and agenda-free.
This book tells us to use grace to distinguish story from fact. We tend to move forward in situations as though our perception is truth. Curiosity and judgment cannot coexist. As soon as you stop and ask a question, you create space between your thought and the inquiry. In that space, you have a choice.
Grace is a wonderful asset in navigating conflict. It prevents us from rushing to judgment and encourages us to consider situations from others’ point of view. Grace leads to conversations instead of arguments.
A single graceful leader can set off a domino effect of grace within an organization. Will you be this leader?
Read
September 15, 2021getAbstract's Abstract:
RECOMMENDATION
Executive coach Alexsys Thompson explains how connecting with your purpose, adopting an attitude of gratitude and guiding people with grace will transform your life and how you lead.
SUMMARY
1. Your journey within leads to graceful leadership.
Graceful leaders understand their purpose, and practice authenticity and accountability in both their professional and personal lives.
“The journey into grace isn’t always easy. It requires vulnerability and work. It’s worth it, though.”
Graceful leadership requires you to connect with the love, compassion and authenticity of your inner self. Many otherwise kind-hearted, courteous people are nasty and obnoxious at work. Conversely, strong decisive leaders within an office setting – particularly women – can become timid and feel powerless at home. This inability to align various aspects of your personality creates significant emotional and physical stress. Forming a complete and reliable version of yourself calls for a candid evaluation of who you are now, and who you would like to become. Graceful leadership is predicated upon this self-analysis.
Grace enables you to handle any situation. You can show empathy toward a team member struggling with a personal issue and, in the next minute, confidently preside over an important meeting. Graceful leaders understand their job is to serve others and help them succeed. They provide what their people need at a particular time.
2. Committed individuals exemplify the principles of grace.
“Grace is the key to sustained happiness, more fulfilling work and performance that impacts the world.”
King, a minister and activist, reshaped American civil rights but never sacrificed his humanity or love for those who opposed him. In a violent and hate-filled environment, King insisted on a tolerant and peaceful approach. He demonstrated how to feel angry and act civilized at the same time. In fighting for a cause greater than himself, King proved you don’t have to be bitter toward those with opposing views.
3. Grace takes leadership to another level
Grace emerges when you get in touch with your deepest emotions and bring them into your relationships. Grace enables you to venture into unfamiliar and, at times, uncomfortable territory.
“The graceful leader can pull to the back in one moment and then march forward to the front in the next, intuiting what the situation dictates.”
Graceful leadership is deliberate and dynamic. You can practice it intentionally until it becomes habitual behavior. Graceful leaders must adapt to different situations. While leading from behind is admirable, graceful leaders quickly rush to the forefront in a crisis and clear the way for others. Graceful leaders aren’t looking to stroke their egos or take credit; their concern is for the people on their team. As leaders, they understand that everyone plays a role in positive outcomes. Graceful leaders may feel they already know how to overcome a particular challenge, but they patiently allow their teams to explore other possible solutions as well.
Graceful leadership is an elevated form of conscious leadership, which calls for a high level of self-knowledge and an ongoing desire to pursue increased awareness of yourself, others and circumstances. Love and compassion are part of the essence of graceful leaders; they invoke these emotions naturally, without having to stop and think about doing so. Regardless of the circumstances, graceful leaders offer empathy to others and never cease refining themselves.
4. Let six fundamental tenets guide you to grace.
To evolve as a leader, incorporate these six principles of graceful leadership.
“Leaders often resist grace. The primary reason is there’s a lack of awareness for the requirement of it.”
Don’t expect to master them; they are fluid, and require consistent vigilance as your leadership journey unfolds:
(i) “Integrating: Mind, body and soul” – Identify your life’s purpose and align it with your actions. Write a personal vision statement to help you find clarity and overcome confusion. The process of looking deep inside your mind and soul requires commitment, determination and time. Get in the habit of listening to your body and paying attention to its cues.
(ii) “Evolving: Alignment of soul and self” – Determine if your core beliefs and values align with your purpose in life. At times, you’ll discover a misalignment between your principles and your behavior. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect; but if you become aware of any misalignment, seek to correct it.
(iii) “Transparency: Self and others” – Graceful leaders show their true selves in how they behave and communicate. People who say one thing and do another seldom lie intentionally; they verbalize what they think they should do instead of being true to themselves. Practicing authenticity requires courage and a willingness to be uncomfortable and vulnerable.
(iv) “Connecting: Self and universe” – Leaders anchored in grace understand their connection to others. They recognize how relationships shape their lives and the ripple effect their actions have on their fellow human beings. Grace is possible when you connect your mind to your heart.
(v) “Co-creating: Innovative” – Graceful leaders are receptive to unconventional solutions. They entertain possibilities. Graceful leaders acknowledge the importance of assembling diverse teams with a wide range of talent and expertise.
(vi) “Compassionately powerful: In all things” – Outstanding leaders are responsible, efficient and organized. They recognize when it’s time to pause, step back and appreciate stillness. Quiet promotes introspection and opens space for appreciation and compassion. Graceful leaders fully immerse in the present while always looking toward the future.
5. Gratitude is the gateway to self-discovery.
Many leaders sabotage their professional and personal lives by focusing on the negative and failing to appreciate the positive. Gratitude provides an alternate perspective and helps you discover areas of your leadership that aren’t working – and fix them.
Individuals who rely primarily on their intellect often struggle with gratitude because they forget that connecting with others occurs via the heart, not the head. Leaders need to go beyond relating to their people on the basis of performance and productivity. When you develop gratitude, you will become more patient and understanding when communicating with your employees.
Gratitude provides comfort in the face of significant challenges. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, you pause to appreciate the good things in your life and realize your problems aren’t as big as you first imagined. The compassion you develop through gratitude makes you more empathetic and curious – and less judgmental.
There is a place for both niceness and compassion. However, nice as a replacement for compassion is a mess waiting to happen. It’s often frightening to maintain an open heart during conversations filled with rage or resentment. It’s during these moments, however, that people most require love and compassion. You become a memorable leader through your humanity. Compassion is not the same as being nice. The latter may feel good, but it’s not necessarily genuine. You can use niceness to cover up a problem and avoid addressing it. Compassion always rings true, regardless of whether the moment is comfortable.
6. Align your self and your soul.
If you hope to achieve alignment, it helps to understand the difference between self and soul. Self represents your ego – the sum of your upbringing, environment and experiences. Ego shapes how you relate to others and navigate the world. Outside influences do not affect soul, which is the essence of your spiritual being – what accompanied you into the world. Soul has no agenda.
“To become a leader, you typically must shift from an executing function to an influencing role.”
The self and the soul are not in competition. One isn’t better than the other. Misalignment usually occurs subconsciously, as life experiences create layers that obscure your essence. For example, an athlete may be deeply compassionate by nature, but competition compels him or her to run past an injured player on the opposing team. People can spend their entire lives oblivious to this misalignment, unable to shake the nagging feeling that something is missing. Ask deep, probing questions about your life’s purpose to gain insights about your soul.
Graceful leaders analyze their behavior, particularly when they act contrary to their true character.
In striving toward alignment, consider pursuing relationships you avoided because the people seemed unapproachable or unfriendly. Your ego could be giving you inaccurate information based on previous impressions or experiences. You have nothing to lose by revisiting these potential relationships. In fact, you may gain a friend.
8. When grace knocks on your door, open it.
The catalyst for incorporating grace in your life can arise various ways. You may have a nagging feeling deep inside that something isn’t right. The source of inspiration isn’t nearly as important as your commitment to act. When you decide to accept the challenge, you’ll discover that things begin falling into place to assist you on your journey.
“Coaches have a multitude of tools you don’t have, simply because this is what they do for a living.”
- Anyone interested in self-improvement should be constantly learning and reading. Even books that don’t fully resonate with you are likely to provide insights you’ll apply at some point.
- Peer groups are ideal for bouncing around your ideas and soliciting feedback.
RECOMMENDATION
Executive coach Alexsys Thompson explains how connecting with your purpose, adopting an attitude of gratitude and guiding people with grace will transform your life and how you lead.
SUMMARY
1. Your journey within leads to graceful leadership.
Graceful leaders understand their purpose, and practice authenticity and accountability in both their professional and personal lives.
“The journey into grace isn’t always easy. It requires vulnerability and work. It’s worth it, though.”
Graceful leadership requires you to connect with the love, compassion and authenticity of your inner self. Many otherwise kind-hearted, courteous people are nasty and obnoxious at work. Conversely, strong decisive leaders within an office setting – particularly women – can become timid and feel powerless at home. This inability to align various aspects of your personality creates significant emotional and physical stress. Forming a complete and reliable version of yourself calls for a candid evaluation of who you are now, and who you would like to become. Graceful leadership is predicated upon this self-analysis.
Grace enables you to handle any situation. You can show empathy toward a team member struggling with a personal issue and, in the next minute, confidently preside over an important meeting. Graceful leaders understand their job is to serve others and help them succeed. They provide what their people need at a particular time.
2. Committed individuals exemplify the principles of grace.
“Grace is the key to sustained happiness, more fulfilling work and performance that impacts the world.”
King, a minister and activist, reshaped American civil rights but never sacrificed his humanity or love for those who opposed him. In a violent and hate-filled environment, King insisted on a tolerant and peaceful approach. He demonstrated how to feel angry and act civilized at the same time. In fighting for a cause greater than himself, King proved you don’t have to be bitter toward those with opposing views.
3. Grace takes leadership to another level
Grace emerges when you get in touch with your deepest emotions and bring them into your relationships. Grace enables you to venture into unfamiliar and, at times, uncomfortable territory.
“The graceful leader can pull to the back in one moment and then march forward to the front in the next, intuiting what the situation dictates.”
Graceful leadership is deliberate and dynamic. You can practice it intentionally until it becomes habitual behavior. Graceful leaders must adapt to different situations. While leading from behind is admirable, graceful leaders quickly rush to the forefront in a crisis and clear the way for others. Graceful leaders aren’t looking to stroke their egos or take credit; their concern is for the people on their team. As leaders, they understand that everyone plays a role in positive outcomes. Graceful leaders may feel they already know how to overcome a particular challenge, but they patiently allow their teams to explore other possible solutions as well.
Graceful leadership is an elevated form of conscious leadership, which calls for a high level of self-knowledge and an ongoing desire to pursue increased awareness of yourself, others and circumstances. Love and compassion are part of the essence of graceful leaders; they invoke these emotions naturally, without having to stop and think about doing so. Regardless of the circumstances, graceful leaders offer empathy to others and never cease refining themselves.
4. Let six fundamental tenets guide you to grace.
To evolve as a leader, incorporate these six principles of graceful leadership.
“Leaders often resist grace. The primary reason is there’s a lack of awareness for the requirement of it.”
Don’t expect to master them; they are fluid, and require consistent vigilance as your leadership journey unfolds:
(i) “Integrating: Mind, body and soul” – Identify your life’s purpose and align it with your actions. Write a personal vision statement to help you find clarity and overcome confusion. The process of looking deep inside your mind and soul requires commitment, determination and time. Get in the habit of listening to your body and paying attention to its cues.
(ii) “Evolving: Alignment of soul and self” – Determine if your core beliefs and values align with your purpose in life. At times, you’ll discover a misalignment between your principles and your behavior. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect; but if you become aware of any misalignment, seek to correct it.
(iii) “Transparency: Self and others” – Graceful leaders show their true selves in how they behave and communicate. People who say one thing and do another seldom lie intentionally; they verbalize what they think they should do instead of being true to themselves. Practicing authenticity requires courage and a willingness to be uncomfortable and vulnerable.
(iv) “Connecting: Self and universe” – Leaders anchored in grace understand their connection to others. They recognize how relationships shape their lives and the ripple effect their actions have on their fellow human beings. Grace is possible when you connect your mind to your heart.
(v) “Co-creating: Innovative” – Graceful leaders are receptive to unconventional solutions. They entertain possibilities. Graceful leaders acknowledge the importance of assembling diverse teams with a wide range of talent and expertise.
(vi) “Compassionately powerful: In all things” – Outstanding leaders are responsible, efficient and organized. They recognize when it’s time to pause, step back and appreciate stillness. Quiet promotes introspection and opens space for appreciation and compassion. Graceful leaders fully immerse in the present while always looking toward the future.
5. Gratitude is the gateway to self-discovery.
Many leaders sabotage their professional and personal lives by focusing on the negative and failing to appreciate the positive. Gratitude provides an alternate perspective and helps you discover areas of your leadership that aren’t working – and fix them.
Individuals who rely primarily on their intellect often struggle with gratitude because they forget that connecting with others occurs via the heart, not the head. Leaders need to go beyond relating to their people on the basis of performance and productivity. When you develop gratitude, you will become more patient and understanding when communicating with your employees.
Gratitude provides comfort in the face of significant challenges. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, you pause to appreciate the good things in your life and realize your problems aren’t as big as you first imagined. The compassion you develop through gratitude makes you more empathetic and curious – and less judgmental.
There is a place for both niceness and compassion. However, nice as a replacement for compassion is a mess waiting to happen. It’s often frightening to maintain an open heart during conversations filled with rage or resentment. It’s during these moments, however, that people most require love and compassion. You become a memorable leader through your humanity. Compassion is not the same as being nice. The latter may feel good, but it’s not necessarily genuine. You can use niceness to cover up a problem and avoid addressing it. Compassion always rings true, regardless of whether the moment is comfortable.
6. Align your self and your soul.
If you hope to achieve alignment, it helps to understand the difference between self and soul. Self represents your ego – the sum of your upbringing, environment and experiences. Ego shapes how you relate to others and navigate the world. Outside influences do not affect soul, which is the essence of your spiritual being – what accompanied you into the world. Soul has no agenda.
“To become a leader, you typically must shift from an executing function to an influencing role.”
The self and the soul are not in competition. One isn’t better than the other. Misalignment usually occurs subconsciously, as life experiences create layers that obscure your essence. For example, an athlete may be deeply compassionate by nature, but competition compels him or her to run past an injured player on the opposing team. People can spend their entire lives oblivious to this misalignment, unable to shake the nagging feeling that something is missing. Ask deep, probing questions about your life’s purpose to gain insights about your soul.
Graceful leaders analyze their behavior, particularly when they act contrary to their true character.
In striving toward alignment, consider pursuing relationships you avoided because the people seemed unapproachable or unfriendly. Your ego could be giving you inaccurate information based on previous impressions or experiences. You have nothing to lose by revisiting these potential relationships. In fact, you may gain a friend.
8. When grace knocks on your door, open it.
The catalyst for incorporating grace in your life can arise various ways. You may have a nagging feeling deep inside that something isn’t right. The source of inspiration isn’t nearly as important as your commitment to act. When you decide to accept the challenge, you’ll discover that things begin falling into place to assist you on your journey.
“Coaches have a multitude of tools you don’t have, simply because this is what they do for a living.”
- Anyone interested in self-improvement should be constantly learning and reading. Even books that don’t fully resonate with you are likely to provide insights you’ll apply at some point.
- Peer groups are ideal for bouncing around your ideas and soliciting feedback.
January 26, 2021
For the individual who’d rather rather be reading the latest thriller vs. another book about Leadership
I was more than pleasantly surprised to love this book! Few of us have time these days to do the things we enjoy, let alone do more work or something which feels like work. Thus, I was caught off guard when I enjoyed this book as much as I did. So many leadership books are more concerned about the statistics, facts, and figures than they are about their readers enjoyment. If I am going to invest my time in reading a book, I want to be engaged. I can honestly say this book kept me engaged!
The personal stories were like mini-fiction novels making the book relatable and interesting to read. I appreciated the vulnerability Alexsys demonstrated by exposing her own short comings and personal flaws of her past - as a leader myself, I can relate to situations where I didn't put my best foot forward. How nice it would have been to have a coach to speak with who could identify ways for improvement in those situations.
Most importantly, the lessons in this book don't just apply to business, but can also be applied to my personal relationships. I will definitely return to this book in the the future so I can remind myself when needed, what it takes to be a graceful leader.
Jeremy B.
I was more than pleasantly surprised to love this book! Few of us have time these days to do the things we enjoy, let alone do more work or something which feels like work. Thus, I was caught off guard when I enjoyed this book as much as I did. So many leadership books are more concerned about the statistics, facts, and figures than they are about their readers enjoyment. If I am going to invest my time in reading a book, I want to be engaged. I can honestly say this book kept me engaged!
The personal stories were like mini-fiction novels making the book relatable and interesting to read. I appreciated the vulnerability Alexsys demonstrated by exposing her own short comings and personal flaws of her past - as a leader myself, I can relate to situations where I didn't put my best foot forward. How nice it would have been to have a coach to speak with who could identify ways for improvement in those situations.
Most importantly, the lessons in this book don't just apply to business, but can also be applied to my personal relationships. I will definitely return to this book in the the future so I can remind myself when needed, what it takes to be a graceful leader.
Jeremy B.
January 28, 2021
Highly recommend. This is the executive guidebook we have been missing. It snuggly aligns the puzzle pieces for a complete leader. For example, you may have practiced as a servant leader, finished your MBA, or even focused on your own gratitude and meditation practice to drop into flow. All these elements can now come together as a Graceful Leader. I am super excited to lead a more integrated life with my business.
Many business books provide strategy or theory, but little in the way of real world examples. The personal journeys of the author and actual examples from years of business management show “how” to lead successfully and with integrity. It was easy to relate to each chapter.
After reading this book, it became clear the work persona and heart centered persona can exist in the same workplace. The shift in bringing a more thoughtful practice into the workplace may be uncomfortable at first. But this book provides a 6 tenet roadmap for a way forward to build more responsible businesses and organizations that serve a greater good. This practice will separate you from the rest and give you the tools to create change in yourself and others.
Many business books provide strategy or theory, but little in the way of real world examples. The personal journeys of the author and actual examples from years of business management show “how” to lead successfully and with integrity. It was easy to relate to each chapter.
After reading this book, it became clear the work persona and heart centered persona can exist in the same workplace. The shift in bringing a more thoughtful practice into the workplace may be uncomfortable at first. But this book provides a 6 tenet roadmap for a way forward to build more responsible businesses and organizations that serve a greater good. This practice will separate you from the rest and give you the tools to create change in yourself and others.
January 28, 2021
Just finished reading the book, Power of a Graceful Leader. My first thought was “WOW”, I wish I had this info available to me when I was in the corporate world. But, here it is. Written in a time when it is needed the most.
Its a great read and a thought-provoking look at leadership, written with personal examples from the authors career.
I always looked towards my supervisors and executives for guidance and leadership and they were not always sharing or educational. With the tools in this book, so many people, whether in corporate or a volunteer community groups, would see how to connect your inner self to your exterior self (or little self vs big Self).
A big “a-ha” moment for me was where Alexsys illustrated how the best leadership is from the front, middle, and back of the team depending on the needs at the time. So simple, and something we miss every day in trying to be what is expected instead of who we are.
Its a great read and a thought-provoking look at leadership, written with personal examples from the authors career.
I always looked towards my supervisors and executives for guidance and leadership and they were not always sharing or educational. With the tools in this book, so many people, whether in corporate or a volunteer community groups, would see how to connect your inner self to your exterior self (or little self vs big Self).
A big “a-ha” moment for me was where Alexsys illustrated how the best leadership is from the front, middle, and back of the team depending on the needs at the time. So simple, and something we miss every day in trying to be what is expected instead of who we are.
September 28, 2021
Alexys Thompson has produced a concise and inspiring work that exhorts the reader into becoming a better human and therefore a better leader. I particularly liked the concepts of choosing which position on the infinity loop you want to lead from and the notion of compassionate power, which allows leaders to embrace their full humanity while still holding themselves and their teams accountable.
Not a fan of woo-woo, so the astrology, horoscope and “soul” references made me cringe. But if you look past some of these, there’s some real great wisdom in the book.
Not a fan of woo-woo, so the astrology, horoscope and “soul” references made me cringe. But if you look past some of these, there’s some real great wisdom in the book.
April 16, 2021
Great read
The world needs more grace now and this book lays out exactly how to make it happen. Well laid out and easy to understand, I can’t recommend this book any higher. Great stories to illustrate key points.
The world needs more grace now and this book lays out exactly how to make it happen. Well laid out and easy to understand, I can’t recommend this book any higher. Great stories to illustrate key points.
January 15, 2022
Keep a gratitude journal. Being grateful makes you look at the glass half full and will make you a better person with everyone around you. Your change will have an effect in your organization, and domino effect into the world.
December 20, 2021
Connect with the love, compassion and authenticity of your inner self.
Role: To serve others and help them to succeed.
Jane Goodall / Martin Luther King Jr
Role: To serve others and help them to succeed.
Jane Goodall / Martin Luther King Jr
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews