Turn

by Erin M. Grillot

The responsibilities Nathan has taken on are sometimes daunting, even as he loves his job. Always ready to rise to the occasion, he is both respected and feared in the office and in the field. His rise to quiet power has shaped his very being, and he knows each and every move as he plots his days and watches over his agents. His life has shaped him into a loner, however, and that is never more noticeable than when Eli begins work in Department 5.

Eli is not the typical Department 5 recruit, and his cheerful and polite nature is both intriguing and off-putting to Nathan. But as Eli weakens and breaks through Nathan’s walls, they gradually embark on a path of discovery and a relationship that defies both of their assumptions. It is by times quirky and odd, sometimes a little rough around the edges, always a bit fragile. But secrecy, lies, plots, and executions are Nathan’s job, and life—and some habits are hard to break. Finally, the tension their work holds can no longer be contained or ignored, and it threatens to destroy either themselves or all that they’ve found together.

Turn is a story about power, tough choices, and strategic moves—of knowing when to sacrifice a piece in this ongoing game of chess, sticking by your actions, and knowing what the endgame is—no matter what the personal cost. Most importantly, it’s about life’s hardest lesson. Sometimes love isn’t all that you need, and the wants of our hearts aren’t always enough to overcome who we are and the realities of life.

Genres: LGBT, Contemporary, M M Romance

283 pages, Paperback

Published November 23, 2020

Reviews

[Izengabe · Rating 3 out of 5]

En general me ha gustado bastante, si no le doy las cuatro es por el final, y no porque no tengamos HEA, al contrario, creo que un final feliz habría quedado muy forzado.
Pero ese aparecerse Eli en Italia... Chico, ¿no puedes esperar dos días más a que vuelva Nathan? ¿Era necesario ese vuelo transoceánico para una cena? Además toda la escena en el restaurante la encontré muy anticlimática.
Por no hablar de la confesión final de Eli, suspend all disbelief: "Pues nada, Nathan, que te vi un día en un café, me pareciste superguapo y decidí echar el CV en la agencia de espionaje internacional ultrasecreta donde trabajas para poder conocerte (Seguridad, llévenselo). Además, como resulta que hablo 50 idiomas -entre ellos el Gaélico- pues fíjate tú qué bien que me dieron el trabajo, y ahora estamos en la misma planta y como soy un poco psicoacosador, pues nada, al final nos enamoramos. ¡Ah! Y al de tres minutos de conocerte me hago un tatu inspirado en ti (Seguridad, camisa de fuerza por favor) No comment...
Vamos, que Eli no me ha gustado... En sus mejores momentos me ha dejado indiferente (a mí es que los entregaditos en general no me gustan) y en los peores, pues eso, que yo soy Nathan y pongo una orden de alejamiento. Creo que la autora se centra demasiado en Nathan y, en parte por ello, Eli le queda bastante poco creíble.
Y por último el final en sí no me le creo nada. Como diría mi abuela, Si tan largo me lo fías... Tabernero, echa un cuartillo!
Y Nathan venga con que Eli merece algo mejor. Odio, ODIO cuando dicen esto.

Peeeero, quitando el final, ya digo que la historia me ha gustado bastante, algunas cosas se salen de lo habitual y ha conseguido mantener mi atención hasta (casi) el final (gran logro en mi estado actual de nisientonipadezco) además hay partes en el desarrollo de la relación que son realmente bonitas y la autora consigue meterte en la mente y en la vida de Nathan.

[True Loveislovereview · Rating 5 out of 5]

The new guy at work seems to get more and more in Nathan’s personal space, subtle admittedly but still.
Falling in love isn’t easy when you live on the dark side of life. Nathan is quite distant and oblivious about life and relationship. It’s nothing he desires and still, without even knowing he’s in one, tentative.
With Eli next to him he experiences a whole other dimension of life. Nathan is melting and he can’t afford it with the kind of work he does. He has to make choices. Love isn’t always enough.

The whole package is all quite delicate, with finesse, almost beautifully minimalistic, a film noir.

This story is not a regular romance, it’s more a journey, and while I understand the way it ended I didn’t like it.
Beautifully written narrative.

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

5 stars

Wow. Just wow. Turn was one of those reads that crawled under my skin from page one and I never shook free. The writing is crisp and clean and conveys the depth of Nathan’s isolation from the world with brutal clarity. It’s not a traditional romance and definitely not a traditional HEA, but it’s been a long time since a book so engaged me.

The story is told from Nathan’s point of view and his life is measured by long hours, sleepless nights, and missions that leave him bloodied inside and out. He oblivious to anything that might resemble a life and when Eli is hired, Nathan’s first annoyed, then confused, and eventually captivated by him.

Read Sue’s review in its entirety here.

[Iz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

"Turn" was absolutely surprising.
The story revolves around Nathan, a troubled and morally grey man working for a shady governement organization, who finds his life upended when Eli, a sunny and extrovert linguistic genius, starts working with him.
I'm not sure I've read anything quite like this book before. The writing is very good and at the beginning I thought the "monologue-like" style would put me off, but instead I got used to very quickly and by the second chapter I was absolutely hooked.
I devoured it in a few hours and it made me feel all kinds of feelings: loneliness and heartbreak, anxiety and sorrow and happiness and warmth too.
I adored Nathan with my whole heart: his story, his thoughts and feelings capture you from the start and make you want to stay inside his head. He's ambiguous and ruthless, but also so sweet and inexperienced at times I wanted to hug him.

If you don't mind bittersweet, but hopeful, endings, and if your looking to read about tough choices and the unexpectedness of life, "Turn" is the book for you.

[Thieving Magpie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. I loved the fact that the main character was morally grey, I loved the fact that the relationship took time and was properly built instead of being instalove. I loved the fact that there was no description of graphic sexual content on page. I loved that they fell in love slowly. I loved the pacing. I loved the writing style. I loved the characters. I loved how realistic this book was written. I loved the chess-references. Most of all, I loved the open ending. If this book was a TV show, I'd binge-watch it all day. If there were to be more books, I'd devour them immediatly. This book was absolute perfection in my eyes; it's one of my favourite reads of the year.
I loved how Eli manages to slowly break through Nathan's shell. I loved the constant chess-references. I loved how realistic it was written and although I wished there was a second book, I am perfectly happy with that semi-open ending.

I received a free copy by Netgalley in exchange for a honest review.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book really took me for a ride. Crisp, interesting writing about a man in charge of a CIA like non-government spy agency who works night and day, at the office and at home, with a messy desk and lots of coffee. Don't believe me, well this book tells you that about every 10th page in crisp, interesting writing in a not so short book. (He's also on the phone a lot, has many, many scheduled meetings and occasionally hops on a plane to rescue someone.)

The spy agency hires a new recruit. Apparently this recruit has determined that he is going to personally break down the walls of this man in charge with careful, calculated interruptions to his messy, complicated full of coffee life. They even have a date or two. The newbie tries hard.

This book I think ended in a cliffhanger. I'm not sure. It ends with our man in charge vowing to become a changed man as the newbie recruit walks away from him, apparently giving up. Maybe that's just how it was supposed to end. I think this book was way above my reading level.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hmmm...this was an unusual romance book because it didn't follow the typical formula for this genre. 

It got very wordy though and I felt large chunks of Nathan's inner monologue should have been omitted.  I get that all Nathan does is work, but I don't want to hear about it all the time and skipped over some parts because it got redundant.  I was even fine with the way the book ended--it really couldn't have ended any other way because sometimes love isn't enough and I felt Eli made the right decision.

Overall, I liked it because it didn't follow a formula and that was a refreshing change of pace.  If I were to pick a book with a similar character to Nathan, it would have to be The Definitive Albert J. Sterne by Julie Bozza.

[Coltostallion · Rating 2 out of 5]

Right off the bat I was uncertain about this book. First person present tense I could probably have gotten over, but the writing is awkward and clunky. It was like reading an academic paper instead of a novel. The main character's name isn't even mentioned until 60 pages in since it's all "I". I think his name is used maybe 14 times in the entire book. It's unfortunate the writing is so clunky since this has the bones of a really good story. The plot is good, it's just not very well executed. I think with a rewrite and less attempt to sound smart it could be a 4 star book.

[Dhrish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I kind of struggled with how to describe "Turn" it is probably one of the most unique romances I have read this year. This book takes a deep look at Nathan as a person and him opening up to a relationship with Eli. "Turn" reads partly like an office romance and partly an introspective look on the life of one character.

While I don't think this style of romance is for everyone, I do think there are people out there who will absolutely fall in love with this story.

[RACHEL REED · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an LGBTQIA contemporary fiction.

I wouldn't categorie this as a straight forward romance.

Nathan and Eli were interesting characters and I liked how the author portrayed their relationship.

The writing style was unconventional but engaging no less.

This book had a lot going on and is not your everyday romance novel.
I quite liked this one overall and would definitely recommend this to you if you are willing to try something different.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Turn isn't your typical romance, and that's why I love it. This book made me hold my breath, tear up, smile, and my heart ache so deeply at times I thought it would ache. It's hard to to believe that I'm reading about fictional characters. I found myself flying through this book, and I was pretty disappointed when I realized I'd reached the end. Hoping to read more by Grillot in the future!

[Coco.V]

💝 ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 💝

[Lynn P · Rating 5 out of 5]

great book

Very well written and thoughtful characters that feel very real. I had a hard time putting it down. I hope I see more from this author.