生而為Gay, 我很抱歉: 我的性決定我的人生

by もちぎ, 林琬清 (Translator)

逃離不斷情緒勒索又施暴的媽媽、
　　為了在東京生存開始賣屁股、
　　好不容易考上大學找到工作卻因為同志身分被開除、
　　遍體鱗傷地落腳在同志酒吧。

　　每一個角色都是莫奇吉的人生。
　　被「性」決定的人生。

　　因為性別認同、性取向、性衝動的對象「不符合社會多數的期待」，
　　而承受無數傷害、冷語與不諒解，
　　但莫奇吉用巨大的堅強，溫柔的對抗，美麗的綻放──

　　▶▶我要爭口氣給媽媽看！
　　受不了母親長年情緒勒索、言語虐待，高中還沒畢業就用陪睡掙得的存款逃到東京的莫奇吉，一邊在同志風俗店工作，一邊努力念書。然而他發現維繫這一切的動力僅是出自於反抗媽媽的心理，想成為媽媽最討厭的大學生、想找回被媽媽否定掉的可能性……

　　「為了改變自己，而做出這些行動很了不起。」
　　「但你的生存動機不能一直放在想讓對方屈服上，
　　你的人生，應該為自己而活。」

　　▶▶喔，我就是同性戀啊。
　　高中最要好的朋友，翻出姊姊藏在房裡的BL漫畫並嘲笑了一番，還對莫奇吉說：「同性戀真的超噁心！」然而，當莫奇吉一派淡定地說自己就是同性戀之後，朋友突然痛哭著承認了自己的性向……

　　「大家都說同性戀很噁心，
　　所以我一直以為不能說。」
　　「雖然你不是我的菜，但我喜歡你！」

　　▶▶我無法想像什麼幸福家庭──
　　莫奇吉的初戀，是個溫柔的男老師。在莫奇吉因為悲慘混亂的家庭背景而痛苦不堪、被當成問題學生、甚至放棄人生地說出「不要再管我了」之後，老師依然溫柔地接住了他。即使是GAY、即使無法擁有幸福家庭，也能找到想守護的東西，希望總有一天能成為發自內心地覺得「活著真好」的大人……

　　「有人可以依靠時盡量依靠，
　　然後，你也要成為值得依賴的大人。」

Genres: Manga

178 pages, Paperback

Published September 30, 2020

Reviews

[Travis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Essay manga about the author's time as a sex worker (and a bit about his early life and later career working in a gay bar). The art is terrible, but I can roll with that if it's interesting, but this was kind of a slog to read. So many anecdotes are them having the perfect advice for the other characters, and maybe they are great at giving life advice, idk, but they were like nineteen and having everyone fall over themselves to tell him how great and wise he is just gets kind of eye-rolly after a while.

Overall it's not terrible or anything, but I probably won't read any further volumes. (And from some negative reviews I saw on Amazon, there's not anything added from when it was originally published on twitter, which doesn't bother me because I do not ever want to read comics on twitter and will pay money for something formatted as an ebook, but I guess you can read it for free there if you want to.)

[Adrian · Rating 4 out of 5]

When are they gonna release an official English volume...let me buy the hardcopy, cowards! Anyway this is great. Love the art style. A very grounded, but still fairly light and comedic, look at sex work from the perspective of a sex worker.

[新新 Xin-Xin · Rating 3 out of 5]

查了一下發現此書其實是以套書的形式銷售，或許該一併看完《生而為GAY，那又如何：在同志酒吧長大的我們》再說。