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Not If, When
With no proven vaccine, no acknowledged treatment, and no cure, chronic Lyme disease is still a mystery to most. But for those that live with it, it’s a sometimes seemingly unending nightmare. Add to it that climate change is currently impacting the spread of the infectious disease, and that COVID 19 impacts those with compromised immune systems, making them more at risk for severe illness, it’s no wonder that many living with chronic Lyme are facing increased isolation, trauma, and fear.
Gail Tierney does not see herself as “the chronically ill girl” – instead, she is someone who has the ability to see the world with eyes that have known chronic disease. As a twenty-something who knows how extraordinary it is each day that she gets out of bed and move about the world, she’s seen how quickly health can deteriorate and how much one can rebuild over time.
In her debut book of poetry, Not If, When: Lyme Disease in Verse (She Writes Press, August 25, 2020,) Gail provides a snapshot of one young woman’s inner life at a particular moment in history—a moment when her treatments were all based on educated guesses. With raw honesty and unflinching humor, she not only destigmatizes a disease that affects millions of people worldwide, but provides a space of solace to those affected by it. Her temperament has always been one of levity and comic relief. You can hear her reclaiming some of the absurdity of her story as it unfolds, reminding the reader that serious obstacles don’t always present themselves to serious people. Goofballs get sick, too. And it’s Gail’s determinedly irreverent resilience that has kept her landing on her feet rather than face-planting under the pressure of this shit storm.
Written as a love letter for Lyme patients who are running out of patience, as well as for their family and friends, Not If, When is a clear-eyed, defiant, and poignant exploration of what it means to live—and sometimes even thrive—with Lyme.
“Even the most integrative, supportive doctor can only do so much for an individual during the worst period of healing from Lyme,” Gail shares. “The process looks different for everyone, but a patient must feel significantly worse before they begin to recover. People don’t know how to deal with the fact that one day I’m a young entrepreneur at a prestigious school who is eloquent and polished, and the next I’m fatigued with brain fog and amnesia. Those who love you dearly sometimes find patience and understanding, but many people walk out of our lives. It’s heartbreaking. Some might even say a big fat bummer.”
Gail Tierney does not see herself as “the chronically ill girl” – instead, she is someone who has the ability to see the world with eyes that have known chronic disease. As a twenty-something who knows how extraordinary it is each day that she gets out of bed and move about the world, she’s seen how quickly health can deteriorate and how much one can rebuild over time.
In her debut book of poetry, Not If, When: Lyme Disease in Verse (She Writes Press, August 25, 2020,) Gail provides a snapshot of one young woman’s inner life at a particular moment in history—a moment when her treatments were all based on educated guesses. With raw honesty and unflinching humor, she not only destigmatizes a disease that affects millions of people worldwide, but provides a space of solace to those affected by it. Her temperament has always been one of levity and comic relief. You can hear her reclaiming some of the absurdity of her story as it unfolds, reminding the reader that serious obstacles don’t always present themselves to serious people. Goofballs get sick, too. And it’s Gail’s determinedly irreverent resilience that has kept her landing on her feet rather than face-planting under the pressure of this shit storm.
Written as a love letter for Lyme patients who are running out of patience, as well as for their family and friends, Not If, When is a clear-eyed, defiant, and poignant exploration of what it means to live—and sometimes even thrive—with Lyme.
“Even the most integrative, supportive doctor can only do so much for an individual during the worst period of healing from Lyme,” Gail shares. “The process looks different for everyone, but a patient must feel significantly worse before they begin to recover. People don’t know how to deal with the fact that one day I’m a young entrepreneur at a prestigious school who is eloquent and polished, and the next I’m fatigued with brain fog and amnesia. Those who love you dearly sometimes find patience and understanding, but many people walk out of our lives. It’s heartbreaking. Some might even say a big fat bummer.”
109 pages, Paperback
Published August 25, 2020
6 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
February 12, 2021
Lyme is a painful disease which spreads due to an insect bite called the black-legged tick. It is one of the most common vector-borne diseases in the North Eastern states of USA. Approximately 3 lakh people are found infected every year in different stages of the disease.
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The infected area develops a circular rash in the beginning along with fever, headache and fatigue. In later stages, the disease spreads to joints, heart and nervous system. The treatment for the disease is only symptomatic and it is not completely curable, if not detected early.
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The author has penned down the verses to express the pain and discomfort she feels due to this disease. The poems are not the conventional poetry that we read. They are more of her experiences with the disease and her everyday struggle to combat the effects of Lyme.
.
The descriptions are sure to give goosebumps to the readers. One verse which remained with me and also throws light on the title of the book is when the author goes to a grocery store and says that if ever she gets cured of the disease, she would eat a particular food item. The storekeeper, unaware of her condition, says, "NOT IF, WHEN."
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Recommended reading !!
.
The infected area develops a circular rash in the beginning along with fever, headache and fatigue. In later stages, the disease spreads to joints, heart and nervous system. The treatment for the disease is only symptomatic and it is not completely curable, if not detected early.
.
The author has penned down the verses to express the pain and discomfort she feels due to this disease. The poems are not the conventional poetry that we read. They are more of her experiences with the disease and her everyday struggle to combat the effects of Lyme.
.
The descriptions are sure to give goosebumps to the readers. One verse which remained with me and also throws light on the title of the book is when the author goes to a grocery store and says that if ever she gets cured of the disease, she would eat a particular food item. The storekeeper, unaware of her condition, says, "NOT IF, WHEN."
.
Recommended reading !!
September 12, 2020
The author has probably started this poetry (some drawings included as well) book inspired by her fight against Lyme disease, but the lessons from this poetry book touch way more than having a particular illness. I connected so much with how self-aware she is, and the humour in rough events.
AND the poetry is good in itself. Thins I wrote down reminded me of The Pillow Book.. The alliteration in Remember your roots, and let them root for you is made more poignant because of the play on words. I loved the irony and the different point of view, like the poem addressed "To the tick". She is very poignant, with the contradictions in feelings towards a chronic disease, like in "hiker praise." She is very good at games of words, like biotic/probiotic/antibiotic. (there is a short poem playing with this)
PLUS she doesn't mollycoddle feelings. She says it however she feels it, warts and all, specially she would like to have the same feelings of recognition than cancer patients. I read these poems on my kindle, so I cannot be sure, but I think that if you read these poems aloud, the rhythm in words and structure would be even more poignant.
The whole collection is a mixture of POETIC PROSE and FREE VERSE (as I have already mentioned, plus some drawings. Really evocative). And she is PERFECT in each instance using one or the other. To any potential readers, I would tell them not to doubt that this is poetry as its best, because the rhythmic prosody will jump at you. I really liked it.
AND the poetry is good in itself. Thins I wrote down reminded me of The Pillow Book.. The alliteration in Remember your roots, and let them root for you is made more poignant because of the play on words. I loved the irony and the different point of view, like the poem addressed "To the tick". She is very poignant, with the contradictions in feelings towards a chronic disease, like in "hiker praise." She is very good at games of words, like biotic/probiotic/antibiotic. (there is a short poem playing with this)
PLUS she doesn't mollycoddle feelings. She says it however she feels it, warts and all, specially she would like to have the same feelings of recognition than cancer patients. I read these poems on my kindle, so I cannot be sure, but I think that if you read these poems aloud, the rhythm in words and structure would be even more poignant.
The whole collection is a mixture of POETIC PROSE and FREE VERSE (as I have already mentioned, plus some drawings. Really evocative). And she is PERFECT in each instance using one or the other. To any potential readers, I would tell them not to doubt that this is poetry as its best, because the rhythmic prosody will jump at you. I really liked it.
September 10, 2020
This piece feels intimate as if someone is giving me a warm hug while patting my head. It does feel like a bunch of love letters from a stranger for us — not only for people who is fighting from Lyme Disease. This verse collection does not only relatable to them, but people who struggles from any 'disease', be it something inner (spiritual, mental) or outer (physical).
The author describes her daily interaction with life and people in general, her constant conflict with herself (for not being able to do things she used to), and how she comes to term with it. Not to mention, the author is pretty hilarious :)
I have many favourite in this one — like 'Chekhovian Delight', 'Jetlag' and 'Honey Badgers Dont Give A Shit'. It makes me read more about Lyme Disease that I used to be ignorant from too.
The author describes her daily interaction with life and people in general, her constant conflict with herself (for not being able to do things she used to), and how she comes to term with it. Not to mention, the author is pretty hilarious :)
I have many favourite in this one — like 'Chekhovian Delight', 'Jetlag' and 'Honey Badgers Dont Give A Shit'. It makes me read more about Lyme Disease that I used to be ignorant from too.
September 9, 2020
So it is my very first time I got an e-ARC from NetGalley for an honest review and I am humbled that I got this one.
I loved how these poems not only resonate with the patients of Lyme disease but also many who are suffering from different chronic illnesses. The poems generally cover topic such as depression, the difference of routine, life before and after disease. The poems are simple yet leave their impact on the reader.
For a detailed review, please visit: https://hiranazsulehri.wordpress.com/...
I loved how these poems not only resonate with the patients of Lyme disease but also many who are suffering from different chronic illnesses. The poems generally cover topic such as depression, the difference of routine, life before and after disease. The poems are simple yet leave their impact on the reader.
For a detailed review, please visit: https://hiranazsulehri.wordpress.com/...
November 5, 2024
Gail Tierney's "Not if, when" is a powerful and deeply personal memoir that delves into the complexities of living with Lyme disease. Through a series of poignant poems, Tierney shares the journey with this debilitating illness, offering a honest portrayal of the physical, emotional and psychological toll it takes.
If you or someone you know has been affected by Lyme disease or if you simply appreciate the power of poetry to convey complex emotions, this is a must read.
If you or someone you know has been affected by Lyme disease or if you simply appreciate the power of poetry to convey complex emotions, this is a must read.
September 19, 2020
When your friend's sister writes a book, you read it. I didn't feel obligated to love this poetry collection because of that, it was just a happy result.
This poetry collection reads like a deeply person diary--yet, there are moments where I found myself nodding along. With each poem, the author reaches out to your heart, and I couldn't help reaching right back.
This poetry collection reads like a deeply person diary--yet, there are moments where I found myself nodding along. With each poem, the author reaches out to your heart, and I couldn't help reaching right back.
October 1, 2020
I enjoy a lot of the poems, especially the really meaningful ones. I do wish there was more explanation about Lyme disease because there was barely anything about the disease itself.
I also liked the pop culture references and jokes throughout the book. It made it more fun to read.
I troughs the 2 or 3 pictures were nice but there were so few that they felt a little out of place.
I also liked the pop culture references and jokes throughout the book. It made it more fun to read.
I troughs the 2 or 3 pictures were nice but there were so few that they felt a little out of place.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews