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I'll Get Back to You: The Dyscommunication Crisis: Why Unreturned Messages Drive Us Crazy and What to Do About It
“Why didn’t you return my message?”
I’ll Get Back to You explains why we get upset over unreturned messages and offers concrete solutions so you can change this.
I’ll Get Back to You exposes one of life’s dirty secrets hiding in plain sight. Unreturned messages drive us nuts and send our heads spinning. It’s too painful and crazy to even talk about. The problem is pervasive due to the nature of digital communication.
Fading are the days of direct communication by phone or in person, which have immediate responses and clarifications. The immediate feedback loop has been replaced by “broken loops” of communication. Now, due to hundreds of emails and texts, endless waiting, perpetual unreturned messages, and unlimited misunderstanding, we are in a Dyscommunication Crisis.
This gives rise to the “Dyscommunication Syndrome”—a cluster of symptoms that comes together and repeats when our message is not returned, including anxiety, worst-case scenarios, catastrophizing, and negative loops of thinking. Sam George can help you learn how to stop this.
I’ll Get Back to You explains the science behind the Dyscommunication Syndrome. It includes captivating, real life stories about dating, relationships, family, and work—so you can relate it to your own life.
With concrete advice, I’ll Get Back to You provides:
• Tested tactics, so your messages are promptly returned.
• Solutions for when your message is not returned.
• Exercises and tips for self-improvement.
• Quick and easy techniques to calm your mind.
If you are sick of unreturned messages, this book has the answers. You will never hear the words “I’ll get back to you” again.
I’ll Get Back to You explains why we get upset over unreturned messages and offers concrete solutions so you can change this.
I’ll Get Back to You exposes one of life’s dirty secrets hiding in plain sight. Unreturned messages drive us nuts and send our heads spinning. It’s too painful and crazy to even talk about. The problem is pervasive due to the nature of digital communication.
Fading are the days of direct communication by phone or in person, which have immediate responses and clarifications. The immediate feedback loop has been replaced by “broken loops” of communication. Now, due to hundreds of emails and texts, endless waiting, perpetual unreturned messages, and unlimited misunderstanding, we are in a Dyscommunication Crisis.
This gives rise to the “Dyscommunication Syndrome”—a cluster of symptoms that comes together and repeats when our message is not returned, including anxiety, worst-case scenarios, catastrophizing, and negative loops of thinking. Sam George can help you learn how to stop this.
I’ll Get Back to You explains the science behind the Dyscommunication Syndrome. It includes captivating, real life stories about dating, relationships, family, and work—so you can relate it to your own life.
With concrete advice, I’ll Get Back to You provides:
• Tested tactics, so your messages are promptly returned.
• Solutions for when your message is not returned.
• Exercises and tips for self-improvement.
• Quick and easy techniques to calm your mind.
If you are sick of unreturned messages, this book has the answers. You will never hear the words “I’ll get back to you” again.
208 pages, Paperback
Published April 27, 2021
7 people are currently reading
23 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
April 27, 2021
TL; DR: Nah.
A former friend sent me a blurb about this book, and there is so much wrong with it that my nervous system shut down.
I could go on, but the premise of this book puts the focus on the person waiting for a reply, and how they need to cope with their own frustrations in the interim. However, there is little mention on what healthy communication should look like when it is possible, and how to work with the other person to avoid these cycles in the future.
Don't get me wrong, people forget, get busy or distracted. And if the sender is expecting more than the recipient is capable of giving, they need to be honest about that. But healthy relationships and friendships require for all parties involved to negotiate how to communicate with each other, and finding a middle ground that satisfies all.
In 2014's "It's Complicated," danah boyd, PhD and researcher, detailed how teens used technology to continue interacting with friends outside of school. Now in 2021, if you told those same kids on Al Gore's internet to eliminate texting, they'll look at you like you lost your mind.
I am also particularly skeptical about applying this pseudo-science to dating. Every single one of my significant friendships has included conversations about our forms of communication and lack thereof. My roommates are very serious about being clear and making sure I don't feel disrespected or dismissed, so for a potential partner to expect me to accept less of an effort while having even more access to me, is bonkers.
Because the clincher is, adults strive to make themselves clear. If you care about the other person, and you see how these, "broken loops," affect them, you work with them, and you address your own shortcomings for your sake and theirs. You don't leave them to deal with it by themselves.
Seriously, please stop asking people to settle for less than what they need. And again: I saw no mention of ways to work together and address the cycle once communication is possible again. Trust and communication are the basics. In my experience, if those things are lacking, it's because there are bigger problems.
A former friend sent me a blurb about this book, and there is so much wrong with it that my nervous system shut down.
I could go on, but the premise of this book puts the focus on the person waiting for a reply, and how they need to cope with their own frustrations in the interim. However, there is little mention on what healthy communication should look like when it is possible, and how to work with the other person to avoid these cycles in the future.
Don't get me wrong, people forget, get busy or distracted. And if the sender is expecting more than the recipient is capable of giving, they need to be honest about that. But healthy relationships and friendships require for all parties involved to negotiate how to communicate with each other, and finding a middle ground that satisfies all.
In 2014's "It's Complicated," danah boyd, PhD and researcher, detailed how teens used technology to continue interacting with friends outside of school. Now in 2021, if you told those same kids on Al Gore's internet to eliminate texting, they'll look at you like you lost your mind.
I am also particularly skeptical about applying this pseudo-science to dating. Every single one of my significant friendships has included conversations about our forms of communication and lack thereof. My roommates are very serious about being clear and making sure I don't feel disrespected or dismissed, so for a potential partner to expect me to accept less of an effort while having even more access to me, is bonkers.
Because the clincher is, adults strive to make themselves clear. If you care about the other person, and you see how these, "broken loops," affect them, you work with them, and you address your own shortcomings for your sake and theirs. You don't leave them to deal with it by themselves.
Seriously, please stop asking people to settle for less than what they need. And again: I saw no mention of ways to work together and address the cycle once communication is possible again. Trust and communication are the basics. In my experience, if those things are lacking, it's because there are bigger problems.
June 6, 2021
At the time of me posting this, the ratings for this book are really low on this website. Interestingly, on the app I borrowed the book from the ratings are rather high. In fact I believe I'm the first person to give it less than five stars over there.
This book isn't bad per se. I guess my question is, why? This was just an unnecessary book. It didn't give me any new information, the stories were predictable and didn't evoke the emotion they intended to. Unfortunately I found it boring to read and pointless.
Is this because I'm too involved in the subject and maybe if I was less invested I would have found more value in it? I'm going to go with no because this is not a subject I seek out on my own time. Which means all the information I went in knowing was stuff already fed to me as pretty common knowledge.
"I'll Get Back to You" is an easy read. It's written in a way that lays it all out very clearly. If you're doing research for a school paper I'm sure this book would come in handy.
If you want to read this book go ahead. Like I stated before, I think it would come in handy for a student doing a paper on this subject. But other than that I'm not really going to be suggesting this one.
This book isn't bad per se. I guess my question is, why? This was just an unnecessary book. It didn't give me any new information, the stories were predictable and didn't evoke the emotion they intended to. Unfortunately I found it boring to read and pointless.
Is this because I'm too involved in the subject and maybe if I was less invested I would have found more value in it? I'm going to go with no because this is not a subject I seek out on my own time. Which means all the information I went in knowing was stuff already fed to me as pretty common knowledge.
"I'll Get Back to You" is an easy read. It's written in a way that lays it all out very clearly. If you're doing research for a school paper I'm sure this book would come in handy.
If you want to read this book go ahead. Like I stated before, I think it would come in handy for a student doing a paper on this subject. But other than that I'm not really going to be suggesting this one.
October 12, 2022
Understood how dcs works and how we all have fallen prey to this trap. Surely learn some ways to deal with the bothering unreturned messages..
December 6, 2022
Interesting start, but all back half of the book really lost the plot in my opinion.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews