My Loved One is An Addict. Now What?: A Simple Guide for Families of Addicts

by Jonathan Okinaga, Carolyn Penny-Dren (Editor)

One of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to a parent or spouse is the realization that their child/spouse is struggling with substance abuse. Feelings of shame, guilt, anger, frustration, and fear are common emotions when a family finally comes to grip with the fact that their loved one is an addict. These emotions may contribute to the unfortunate action of sweeping the addiction under the rug. Whispers may happen at family gatherings during the holidays about a loved one being sent off to treatment, or being arrested for a DUI, but rarely is it something that is openly discussed. There is shame that overtakes the immediate family and the quicker it can be forgotten the better it is for everyone. What I am here to tell you is that addiction is not as rare as you may think. It ravages families of all socioeconomic standings, races, religions and creeds. Substance abuse has recently overtaken car accidents in deaths per year in America. The War on Drugs started in the 1980s and it is an abject failure. It’s time to talk about addictions and what families can do to help their loved ones. Before I go any further, a question needs to be answered. Why should anyone trust what I have to say on the topic? After battling substance abuse from my teens. In 2007, at the age of 30, I finally gained sobriety. I have maintained sobriety since May 6, 2007 and have worked in the recovery field since 2008. I have been employed and interned at one of the most respected dual diagnosis drug and alcohol treatment centers in America. I was on the front lines running sober-living homes as a house manager/life coach during the peak of the opioid epidemic for four years. I established my own sober-life coaching center and have been a recovery pastor since 2010. For years, families of those that I worked with have been asking me to write a book to help others. After completing my undergraduate, Masters, and Ph.D. in under eight years, I finally had the time to commit. I decided to write a book for the families of addicts for this When I first admitted to my parents that I was a drug addict and needed help, they had no idea what to do. They called their church, the state convention for their denomination, and other friends they could trust. No one had an answer or idea what steps to take next. As I have worked with families through the years, the same can be said today. There are many resources for the addict but not much help for the families. My hope and prayer is that this book will equip, teach, and allow families to not only understand addictions, but also provide a stable home to assist their loved one to live a life free from substance abuse.

114 pages, Paperback

Published July 14, 2020

Reviews

[Ophelia · Rating 2 out of 5]

★★☆☆☆

I picked up "My Loved One Is an Addict" hoping for information and encouragement on how to deal with my husband's Suboxone addiction, but the book barely addresses that situation. There is some good general information, yet it wasn't helpful for my particular needs.

[Abbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful perspective (the author was an addict for 13 years). There is true hope for change in Jesus!

[Jaz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best bare knuckles advice for an addict or addicts family and friends

Dr Okinaga has hit a home run with this addiction help book. So many experiences that he aptly shares to help those struggling with addiction.
We all know addiction is life altering! What is so impressive about this book it the quick access to useful information. He lays out the problem and the solution. If i had tp rely on only one source of information to help someone struggling this would be my go to source. Its more useful and succinct than any 12 step program. His points make direct impact to the true cause of the problem. Jon teaches useful and impactful steps that can truly help someone involved with addiction be transformed into something new. No longer the same material, no longer unsuccessful and defeated.
To the addict: lean into the solution, dont split the difference, and be totally sold out to the impactful hard work that must be dome to overcome addiction. This book if followed is transforming!

[Patricia Mathes-Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and well communicated!

This book is thorough and objective, speaking to anyone who is touched by addiction. Mr. Okinaga truly speaks from his heart and experiences through addiction to provide guidance to anyone wanting change or anyone wanting to help facilitate change. He provides hope for those in and affected by a seemingly hopeless lifestyle.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is no one more understanding of how to care for addicted love ones than Dr Okinaga. His discipleship helps are worth their weight in gold. His approach is founded on affective priority and that helped me to understand the best way to approach the addicts in my life.

[Chelsey Mae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect book for people who do not understand addiction, or who need help with a loved one struggling with substance abuse. There is hope!

[Alan E. Holman · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a straight forward and direct read!