The Well-Played Game: A Player's Philosophy

by Bernard De Koven

The return of the classic book on games and play that illuminates the relationship between the well-played game and the well-lived life. In The Well-Played Game, games guru Bernard De Koven explores the interaction of play and games, offering players—as well as game designers, educators, and scholars—a guide to how games work. De Koven’s classic treatise on how human beings play together, first published in 1978, investigates many issues newly resonant in the era of video and computer games, including social gameplay and player modification. The digital game industry, now moving beyond its emphasis on graphic techniques to focus on player interaction, has much to learn from The Well-Played Game. De Koven explains that when players congratulate each other on a “well-played” game, they are expressing a unique and profound synthesis that combines the concepts of play (with its associations of playfulness and fun) and game (with its associations of rule-following). This, he tells us, yields a larger the experience and expression of excellence. De Koven—affectionately and appreciatively hailed by Eric Zimmerman as “our shaman of play”—explores the experience of a well-played game, how we share it, and how we can experience it again; issues of cheating, fairness, keeping score, changing old games (why not change the rules in pursuit of new ways to play?), and making up new games; playing for keeps; and winning. His book belongs on the bookshelves of players who want to find a game in which they can play well, who are looking for others with whom they can play well, and who have discovered the relationship between the well-played game and the well-lived life.

173 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 23, 2013

Reviews

[Satu · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars just because I disagree and refuse to elaborate

[Dhea Sekararum · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read The Well-Played Game as part of the literature review for my MFA thesis work, which explored the interplay between work, play, collaboration, and the constraints of systems. What I appreciate most about De Koven’s approach is that he doesn’t just discuss game design; he reframes games as a microcosm of collaboration, creativity, and mutual respect. The book made me reflect on how our interactions during games mirror the values we bring to life—teaching us flexibility, trust, and the pursuit of shared joy. Yet, De Koven emphasizes a striking truth: “Once again we return to the heart-warming realization that games are not life. Games are throwaway items. We play them only because we feel like playing them. They don't mean anything for real, and neither does quitting them.”

What resonated most with me is De Koven’s assertion that the most meaningful aspect of playing a game is not about winning or losing but about agreeing on how we can continue enjoying our time together. He emphasizes that while the goal of a game is to win, it is the goal itself—not the act of winning—that matters. You must play to win for the game to exist, but winning is not mandatory.

This distinction sparked my own thoughts on the difference between approaching games as a player versus as a designer. As a designer, even for the simple games/exercises I created for my thesis, I had to consider all the possible and probable interactions and outcomes. In contrast, as a player, the emergent properties of the game make the experience enjoyable and even transformational. This dual perspective underscores the beauty of games: they can be carefully structured yet remain open to spontaneity, offering a space where collaboration, creativity, and shared joy thrive.