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The Language of Deep Forgiveness: Break Free from Struggling to Accept the Unacceptable
This breakthrough book can benefit everyone, from those who need help forgiving to those who want a deeper understanding of forgiveness in order to help. Pastors and therapists will find it an invaluable resource for their churches and clients. It provides powerful unique insights to help you forgive deeply and quickly so you can move on with your life to be freer and happier.
Are you seeking healing from the wounds that haunt you? Do you waste precious time and energy thinking about long past hurts and injustices? Or would you like to understand what keeps people stuck in unforgiveness and what you can do to help? Many people are confused about forgiveness and need clarity regarding what it is and how to do it effectively.
Dr. Allen’s book has seven important features:
Unique
It is a one-of-a-kind book, unlike any other forgiveness book on the market. The book is full of original innovative ideas that take readers on an emotional journey, exploring the depths of their hearts. For instance, it describes how the Acceptance Conundrum often keeps people stuck in unforgiveness, them struggling, unable to accept the unacceptable.
Experiential
The book invites readers to be aware of their immediate experience in reading it. It uses carefully crafted reflection questions and exercises to interact with readers guiding them along on a heart-felt path towards greater self-insight.
Multi-dimensional
Believing that all truth is God’s truth, the book combines knowledge from many diverse sources including: Christian spirituality, theology, clinical psychology, psycho-linguistics, and brain science. This approach has resulted in a seamless integration of insights with extraordinary depth and dimensionality. It explains how the precise language you use to think about forgiveness in your mind affects how deeply you actually forgive in your heart.
Proven Methods
The material in this book has proven to be extremely practical and impactful in church settings. Presented during weekly home group meetings, it has produced dramatic forgiveness breakthroughs, in some cases reuniting long estranged family members in a short period of time. Many have experienced it as a life-changing revelation.
Easy-to-read
This book was written to be easily accessible to a wide audience. It tries hard to convey sophisticated concepts in the clearest simplest manner possible.
Concise
The book was intentionally crafted in a concise manner, making it easy for readers to re-read multiple times in order to absorb the most gain from its therapeutic effects. It contains absolutely no unnecessary or filler text.
Small Group Ready
This book contains a study guide that was designed for small group studies. Forgiveness is the central theme of the Gospel that should be deepened with community attention and focus.
Here’s what one Christian thought leader had to say about this book:
“As someone who has taught about forgiveness many times, Dr. Allen Gee gave me tools I've never considered to the point that I took several moments to freshly forgive several people. If you feel stuck in moving on from ways you've been hurt, or if you teach others how to forgive, I'm confident you'll find fresh ways forward here.”
Dave Schmelzer
Executive Director of Blue Ocean Faith
Founding Pastor of Reservoir Church in Cambridge, MA
Author of Not the Religious Type: Confessions of a Turncoat Atheist
Although written from a Christian perspective, the forgiveness techniques described within can benefit everyone regardless of their religious beliefs. Many will find this book life-changing! For some, it will even quicken the pace of psychotherapy, potentially saving thousands of dollars in fees. A true gem for those seeking valuable new insight and inner peace, it will forever change the way you think about forgiveness!
Are you seeking healing from the wounds that haunt you? Do you waste precious time and energy thinking about long past hurts and injustices? Or would you like to understand what keeps people stuck in unforgiveness and what you can do to help? Many people are confused about forgiveness and need clarity regarding what it is and how to do it effectively.
Dr. Allen’s book has seven important features:
Unique
It is a one-of-a-kind book, unlike any other forgiveness book on the market. The book is full of original innovative ideas that take readers on an emotional journey, exploring the depths of their hearts. For instance, it describes how the Acceptance Conundrum often keeps people stuck in unforgiveness, them struggling, unable to accept the unacceptable.
Experiential
The book invites readers to be aware of their immediate experience in reading it. It uses carefully crafted reflection questions and exercises to interact with readers guiding them along on a heart-felt path towards greater self-insight.
Multi-dimensional
Believing that all truth is God’s truth, the book combines knowledge from many diverse sources including: Christian spirituality, theology, clinical psychology, psycho-linguistics, and brain science. This approach has resulted in a seamless integration of insights with extraordinary depth and dimensionality. It explains how the precise language you use to think about forgiveness in your mind affects how deeply you actually forgive in your heart.
Proven Methods
The material in this book has proven to be extremely practical and impactful in church settings. Presented during weekly home group meetings, it has produced dramatic forgiveness breakthroughs, in some cases reuniting long estranged family members in a short period of time. Many have experienced it as a life-changing revelation.
Easy-to-read
This book was written to be easily accessible to a wide audience. It tries hard to convey sophisticated concepts in the clearest simplest manner possible.
Concise
The book was intentionally crafted in a concise manner, making it easy for readers to re-read multiple times in order to absorb the most gain from its therapeutic effects. It contains absolutely no unnecessary or filler text.
Small Group Ready
This book contains a study guide that was designed for small group studies. Forgiveness is the central theme of the Gospel that should be deepened with community attention and focus.
Here’s what one Christian thought leader had to say about this book:
“As someone who has taught about forgiveness many times, Dr. Allen Gee gave me tools I've never considered to the point that I took several moments to freshly forgive several people. If you feel stuck in moving on from ways you've been hurt, or if you teach others how to forgive, I'm confident you'll find fresh ways forward here.”
Dave Schmelzer
Executive Director of Blue Ocean Faith
Founding Pastor of Reservoir Church in Cambridge, MA
Author of Not the Religious Type: Confessions of a Turncoat Atheist
Although written from a Christian perspective, the forgiveness techniques described within can benefit everyone regardless of their religious beliefs. Many will find this book life-changing! For some, it will even quicken the pace of psychotherapy, potentially saving thousands of dollars in fees. A true gem for those seeking valuable new insight and inner peace, it will forever change the way you think about forgiveness!
87 pages, Paperback
Published July 7, 2020
66 people are currently reading
419 people want to read
About the author
Allen Gee
1 book17 followersDr. Allen Gee has dedicated his life to helping others reach their spiritual best by embarking on a journey of deep forgiveness to inner peace, happiness, and enlightenment. He has a doctorate in clinical psychology from Trinity College of Graduate Studies and did his clinical training at Fuller Theological Seminary and Hope International University. Dr. Allen studied theology at Fuller and the art of spiritual guidance at Christian Formation and Discipleship Ministries. He also has an extensive scientific and engineering background in physics and artificial intelligence, having done research at Caltech, Jet Propulsion Laboratory, and in the defense aerospace and investment trading industries.
Dr. Allen can be reached online at ForgiveWell.com.
Dr. Allen can be reached online at ForgiveWell.com.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
September 12, 2020
ENLIGHTENING!
I have been STRUGGLING with forgiveness for YEARS, so I can completely relate to the the main theme of this book, that forgiveness is a PROCESS. I am to harsh on myself, wanting to be over my pain already, but this book is PERFECT because of the ideas it promotes: overcoming thoughts of restitution and retribution. The activities were simple and surprisingly effective. I highly recommend this for those struggling with forgiveness and wanting to find a new way to approach it.
Received this from Goodreads Giveaway!
I have been STRUGGLING with forgiveness for YEARS, so I can completely relate to the the main theme of this book, that forgiveness is a PROCESS. I am to harsh on myself, wanting to be over my pain already, but this book is PERFECT because of the ideas it promotes: overcoming thoughts of restitution and retribution. The activities were simple and surprisingly effective. I highly recommend this for those struggling with forgiveness and wanting to find a new way to approach it.
Received this from Goodreads Giveaway!
September 8, 2020
I wish I could give it five stars. I feel like this book is the tip of the iceberg for forgiveness. I suffered mental abuse, financial loss, and damage of character from a boss that still affects me to this day. I have tried to forgive, but the things he did were deliberately done as revenge against me because when his mom was my boss, she was the same way. I was not liked for being truthful and doing my job. That is oversimplifying it, but when great people take their jobs seriously and tell the truth, then people who don't hold up their end discredit and lie to cause character damage, even mental and physical pain. Ironically, both the man and his mom had psychology degrees, and quite frankly knew how to use their knowledge to play mind games and destroy an innocent person's career and financial life. When you are in the field of teaching, all connections must be at least average, or you are not going to ever teach in a satisfying job that doesn't take advantage of you. This book would have helped me want to get to the level of wanting to forgive if I had read it back in 2016. I am past the point of wanting to see him suffer or get the consequences of his wrongdoing, because I do believe a loving God has felt my pain and any justice that I could dish out pales to what God can do. It does give me comfort that God does not like it when anyone hurts His children, so I feel like I don't need the man to say or do anything for me. But the problem is, sooner or later I have to go to sleep. And from time to time, disturbing dreams pop up that worry me enough to wake up. I am always trapped in a bad teaching job, or about to make a mistake that is going to get me in trouble. So, without having been diagnosed, I am pretty sure I am PTSD. This book does not address how to handle it when your body reacts when you don't want it to do so. And that is why I give it three stars. If you had called it STEP 1 in Healing, or something like that, it would have been five stars, but people who have had deeper pain and issues as a result of wrongdoing are not going to get any peace of mind. It might start the process, but that will be it. I did appreciate the religious references, and thought they tied in with the book, but I am afraid someone will read this and think that something is wrong with what they are doing because their bodies are betraying and hurting them. If you have ever had to be on the run constantly, knowing that no matter how much you did or how well you did it did not matter, because your boss was trying to watch for screw ups to document and get you in trouble, then you would understand that just saying a few words out loud or a few prayers is not enough. If you write a second book as a sequel to this one, please keep this in mind. Thank you!
July 27, 2020
The Language of Deep Forgiveness: Break Free from Struggling to Accept the Unacceptable by Dr. Allen Gee takes the subject of forgiveness further by designing an invaluable and interactive resource that helps readers to move forward into deep forgiveness, even that which has been deemed “unacceptable.” As a personal forgiveness journey, the author brings clarity to the definitions of forgiveness and presents solutions that are not just some formula or ethereal theory. His combined efforts in creating this journey into the language of deep forgiveness brings freedom by combining Biblical and clinical approaches to resolve what the heart and mind consider to be unacceptable. This is an amazing book that connects the dots with heart attitudes and mindsets within a Biblical, clinical, and psychological context utilizing the power of brain science.
Using a multi-dimensional approach, the author introduces four basic perspectives that are visually and mentally stimulating. Four views are presented, similar to looking at four sides of a cube, highlighting the steps to reconciliation in your own heart while addressing issues of long-term, perhaps even repetitive injuries that one has not been able to resolve in their own mind and heart. Three deep concepts are explored in the exercises: language (to define and speak), two core pillars of forgiveness, and the Acceptance Conundrum. He clearly communicates both what forgiveness is and what forgiveness is not.
His goal is for your own heart and mind to come to a place of peace towards the person that hurt you. The author states that many try to forgive but old feelings and thoughts keep popping up. This book presents an interactive way to overcome these negative thought patterns while being able to release the perpetrator. He speaks of addressing resistance, restitution and retribution as heart attitudes that need to be changed. Hence, the author helps one understand their own heart and enables them with the tools to bring a genuine, emotional response that brings relief and resolution to long-time inner conflicts without having to personally address the other person verbally. In turn, this can bring inner peace and bring inner conflict to an end.
This is a wonderful book that individuals can use if they have been unsuccessful in the past with forgiving someone. This book comes highly recommended for anyone struggling to be set free from the never-ending cycle of offense that holds one captive. Pastors and counsellors will want to grab hold of this book to enable their church members / clients to learn to speak deep forgiveness from their hearts to others.
Using a multi-dimensional approach, the author introduces four basic perspectives that are visually and mentally stimulating. Four views are presented, similar to looking at four sides of a cube, highlighting the steps to reconciliation in your own heart while addressing issues of long-term, perhaps even repetitive injuries that one has not been able to resolve in their own mind and heart. Three deep concepts are explored in the exercises: language (to define and speak), two core pillars of forgiveness, and the Acceptance Conundrum. He clearly communicates both what forgiveness is and what forgiveness is not.
His goal is for your own heart and mind to come to a place of peace towards the person that hurt you. The author states that many try to forgive but old feelings and thoughts keep popping up. This book presents an interactive way to overcome these negative thought patterns while being able to release the perpetrator. He speaks of addressing resistance, restitution and retribution as heart attitudes that need to be changed. Hence, the author helps one understand their own heart and enables them with the tools to bring a genuine, emotional response that brings relief and resolution to long-time inner conflicts without having to personally address the other person verbally. In turn, this can bring inner peace and bring inner conflict to an end.
This is a wonderful book that individuals can use if they have been unsuccessful in the past with forgiving someone. This book comes highly recommended for anyone struggling to be set free from the never-ending cycle of offense that holds one captive. Pastors and counsellors will want to grab hold of this book to enable their church members / clients to learn to speak deep forgiveness from their hearts to others.
October 27, 2020
Although a short book at only 87 pages, The Language of Deep Forgiveness is the perfect book to clarify and to help one truly understand the meaning of forgiveness. It's a book that makes you get unstuck from not being able to see past the hurt someone has done to us. Forgiveness is about giving ourselves peace of mind and the fortitude to move forward, but this is not so easily done. Even when we think we may have forgiven someone, deep down we may still have resentment and bitterness that can subtly eat at us.
This book was very eye-opening and enlightening. It has taught me about myself, has made me reflect deeply on how I have forgiven others. This book has made me understand forgiveness through the language that speaks to the heart in terms that the heart can understand. It was like a light bulb went off in my head! The author has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is also a Christian. His explanations were intelligent, concise and included a spiritual element that most psychology books do not. I will read it again and again because the process can take much reflection. Truly a book that can help us find peace of mind and move forward.
This book was very eye-opening and enlightening. It has taught me about myself, has made me reflect deeply on how I have forgiven others. This book has made me understand forgiveness through the language that speaks to the heart in terms that the heart can understand. It was like a light bulb went off in my head! The author has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is also a Christian. His explanations were intelligent, concise and included a spiritual element that most psychology books do not. I will read it again and again because the process can take much reflection. Truly a book that can help us find peace of mind and move forward.
October 9, 2020
(Disclaimer: I got this book in a giveaway from Allen Gee in a exchange for an honest review.)
This resource is pretty short, but contains some pretty weighty information so it took me sometime to get through and fully process it. The book itself wasn't enough for me, but discussing the contents further with my therapist has helped me break through some of my misconceptions about forgiveness. I think this book is especially important in helping people define what forgiveness means to them in a more meaningful way.
As with any book on resolving personal pain and trauma, what works for one person might not work at all for the next person. I think this book is most likely to help someone who
1) already has high motivation to forgive (this book does not explore *why* someone might want to forgive)
2) has a strong personal connection to the Christian faith (this book uses a lot of religious language and "Christianese" and might difficult for someone struggling with church hurt or religious trauma)
This resource is pretty short, but contains some pretty weighty information so it took me sometime to get through and fully process it. The book itself wasn't enough for me, but discussing the contents further with my therapist has helped me break through some of my misconceptions about forgiveness. I think this book is especially important in helping people define what forgiveness means to them in a more meaningful way.
As with any book on resolving personal pain and trauma, what works for one person might not work at all for the next person. I think this book is most likely to help someone who
1) already has high motivation to forgive (this book does not explore *why* someone might want to forgive)
2) has a strong personal connection to the Christian faith (this book uses a lot of religious language and "Christianese" and might difficult for someone struggling with church hurt or religious trauma)
August 18, 2022
I am absolutely overcome. This book does not fail to live up to its description. So many Christian books say they will be life-changing; and while they may be good, they rarely live up to that claim. And most of them start to sound like copies of one another, repackaging similar content in a slightly different way. Dr. Gee's book, however, truly is different AND impactful, and it did cause me to understand forgiveness thoroughly and deeply - something I have been trying to understand for years; as I am a lover of learning, truth, and understanding, but have felt let down by typical church teachings on it. And just the process of reading this book has, by itself, already set free places in my heart where I felt stuck and locked up, and has brought me such an increase of peace. I look forward to even more freedom and peace as I put the exercises into practice. I am so thankful for this excellent work by Dr. Gee.
July 12, 2024
I Feel Blessed
I loved this book. It gave me assistance in moving forward toward forgiving which I so badly already wanted to do.
I recommend this book to anyone who has hurt, anger, anguish in their heart over being hurt by someone; especially those who believe Jesus Christ is their Savior.
I really have nothing negative to say about the book. It helped me tremendously the first time I read it and I will be rereading it as needed.
I have already told one special person about this book and I’m going to share it with my counselor because I believe she could help many more people by recommending or utilizing the principals of this book to her patients!!
Thank you!!
I loved this book. It gave me assistance in moving forward toward forgiving which I so badly already wanted to do.
I recommend this book to anyone who has hurt, anger, anguish in their heart over being hurt by someone; especially those who believe Jesus Christ is their Savior.
I really have nothing negative to say about the book. It helped me tremendously the first time I read it and I will be rereading it as needed.
I have already told one special person about this book and I’m going to share it with my counselor because I believe she could help many more people by recommending or utilizing the principals of this book to her patients!!
Thank you!!
April 24, 2023
Transformative!
I recommend this book to anyone who is having difficulty forgiving someone (and who of us haven't been there!). It is written with simplicity and clarity, and you can immediately benefit from doing the exercises. If you are still feeling wounded and carrying a big bag of forgiveness on your back, you can set yourself free--this book tells you how. This book is short, but one of the most powerful and useful books I've ever read on the subject of forgiveness, both for those who are Christians and those who aren't.
I recommend this book to anyone who is having difficulty forgiving someone (and who of us haven't been there!). It is written with simplicity and clarity, and you can immediately benefit from doing the exercises. If you are still feeling wounded and carrying a big bag of forgiveness on your back, you can set yourself free--this book tells you how. This book is short, but one of the most powerful and useful books I've ever read on the subject of forgiveness, both for those who are Christians and those who aren't.
March 30, 2021
Forgiveness explained and strategy provided to implement forgiveness.
Great and easy read. It helps me to understand the mechanics of forgiveness. The book explains the two pillars of forgiveness. By understanding that, it makes it easier to go through what are required to forgive.
Great and easy read. It helps me to understand the mechanics of forgiveness. The book explains the two pillars of forgiveness. By understanding that, it makes it easier to go through what are required to forgive.
August 5, 2020
Great book to help people forgive! This book goes deeper on the topic than others with practical, effective solutions. These differ from the many other trite or magical techniques that just don't work.
October 1, 2020
So wholeheartedly grateful for this beautiful book! It truly helped me discover freedom from the wounds that haunted me. I've read all I could find with nothing helpful until now. An unexpectedly unique tool for healing from the wounds that bind into new hope and freedom. My deepest appreciation!
November 3, 2020
Excellent
This is a very practical and realistic view of forgiveness. An excellent reminder as well that forgiveness is a process not an event.
This is a very practical and realistic view of forgiveness. An excellent reminder as well that forgiveness is a process not an event.
March 14, 2023
i took my time and will absolutely keep this book in physical sight to review as i attempt to really begin some deep forgiveness. grab your highlighter - so much to chew on.
January 27, 2025
Very impactful. Short read with practical results.
May 1, 2021
Very interesting
I liked the take on forgiveness in this book, it is a work in progress, it is not an easy quick path. I especially liked the chapter on what forgiveness is not. I have highlighted parts of this book to look back on as I think they will be helpful. Look forward to reading other works by this author.
I liked the take on forgiveness in this book, it is a work in progress, it is not an easy quick path. I especially liked the chapter on what forgiveness is not. I have highlighted parts of this book to look back on as I think they will be helpful. Look forward to reading other works by this author.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews