UNTIMELY BEGINNINGS: Memoirs Of Women Who Defied Fate

by Nandi Mjo Manentsa, Lindelwa Mrwata Bulelwa Gobe, Nonyameko Manents Sbongile Mngxali

This is a collection of 17 real-life accounts by black women who were touched by death sooner than expected in their marriages. Each woman’s account chronicles a journey of incredible loss, uncertainty and loneliness. 17 journeys of women brought together by common grief and navigating everyday lives while grieving. Stories of picking up the pieces and moving into uncertain futures making sudden plans to re-join the work force for some, for others, navigating life with young fatherless children. Each story is important. Each voice questions the customs and practices around death, the wake and the burial. The mourning period and its impact on the family unit. The division of assets and the unlearning of living as a couple to learning to live as a single person, most with dependent children and others, alone. Each story comes from a position of initial disorientation and over time, re-building strength and resilience. Each story is told with clarity and carries enormous power of moving positively with life. "An extremely powerful collection of moving, verbatim accounts of heartbreak by several unique personalities. The book details how the widowed women, young at the time of loss, through injustices- large and small, came to realize their true potential. The odds were more often than not against them, and yet their resilience kept them going. People saw them only as a reflection of their loss and their individuality a sub-text of their existence. Narrating their different stories is evidence of their maturity and the willingness to open up themselves for the enrichment of others, especially those who are called WIDOWS. The experiences are diverse, and many women can relate to them. I certainly found myself, having been widowed very young, resonating with most of them. Nandi Manentsa, through this book, has exposed the devastation that is faced by so many women who lose their husbands. This book will incite discourse and a cultural shift, both in mind and in practice. It creates a platform for the voiceless and is a healing read for us all”. Adv. Boniswa Mzimba, PowerHouse Development Services, Widow Wellness and Empowerment Services

Kindle Edition

Published June 22, 2020

Reviews

[Lorraine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of 17 real-life accounts by black women who were touched by death sooner than expected in their marriages. Each woman’s account chronicles a journey of incredible loss,
uncertainty and loneliness. 17 journeys of women brought together by common grief and navigating everyday lives while grieving. Stories of picking up the pieces and moving into uncertain futures making sudden plans to re-join the work force for some, for others, navigating life with young fatherless children.
Each story is important. Each voice questions the customs and practices around death, the wake and the burial. The mourning period and its impact on the family unit. The division of assets and the unlearning of living as a couple to learning to live as a single person, most with dependent children and others, alone.
Each story comes from a position of initial disorientation and over time, re-building strength and resilience. Each story is told with clarity and carries enormous power of moving positively with life.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CB3PwEkj...

Highly recommended.

[Mpho · Rating 4 out of 5]

An anthology that includes contributions of 17 widows across various ages and race. The women share about themselves, their respective families, and their marriages. The book not only evokes sympathy and centres on grief. It also gives hope, encouragement, and empowerment to those affected by death in general.

The women bare mainly about their experience after the unexpected passing of their husbands. The impact and reactions, how they coped with the children, work and the community at large. The contributors relate of their grief and individual journey of healing.

A sad, sensitive, emotive, but inevitable topic. A fact of our lives, death. The stories demonstrated resilience and resourcefulness, an example of how hard and deep women can love. Most of the women were not prepared and did not re-marry after their ordeals. They fell hard, stood up and dust themselves off and carry on. Zenzile Makelo in her story on page 120 wrote :

” The world does not wait for you, simply because you are grieving. Bills must be paid, and children must go to school, you must quickly define your new normal "

With my love for anthologies, overall, this is a great book, takes one on an emotional roller coaster, those stories that are close to home, they resonate across various cultures. This could be your story, or anyone's story. recommended.

[Disa · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s the best book I’ve read this year. It is a must read especially at this time of Covid 19 pandemic, families have lost their loved ones. It is released just at the right time. It is a gripping and emotional novel about what it means to be a widow. These extra ordinary women express their grief in different and challenging ways, all their stories touched my heart .I was unwilling to put the kindle down and resented any interruptions while I was reading the book. I would definitely encourage those who have lost their husbands to read this book, I guess the widowers also can benefit from it.

[Zonele Mdiya · Rating 3 out of 5]

I experienced this book as a faith-based (Christian) book on grief and grieving. Majority of the essays with the exception of one, centre the role of faith or Christianity in helping the women cope, deal and process their loss. The women wrote such capturing essays and it left me broken how all of them lost their partners at the prime of their lives and often times with young children left behind. This book taught me a lot but had me wondering equally about death as well. I am grateful for the women who shared their stories.

The rating is based on technicality. When I was reading this book, I was caught on every single word as I wanted to honour these women and their stories. As such, when reading the essays, you could tell that there were questions given that were being answered based on the sequence or pattern across all essays. I found this interrupted the flow and confused the timelines. The personalised voice of each woman I enjoyed as it was personal and honest. I wonder if it would have been possible to edit the work without losing the women's voice or structure the sequence of the questions such that there is a better flow? Some grammatical errors also made it hard to fully grasp what the author/narrator wanted to portray. Not just with words but emotion, tone and emphasis as well.

[Caroline Nyakata · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a MUST read for women. The stories shared by women in this book embody what most women in our society go through, the hardships they face. I really resonated with this book.