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The Painted Phoenix
With paintbrush in hand, Nate Redfield takes a city full of ugliness and makes it beautiful. His quiet, empty life is a refuge from a harrowing past, and although he has nothing to love, he also has nothing to lose. Standing up to the syndicate is a good way to end up with a hole in his head, but Nate is not afraid to die.
For once in his life, he’s going to do the right thing, even if it kills him. And it probably will.
But the most dangerous criminal in the city—a man whose sadism and ruthlessness have become local legend—decides to spare Nate’s life. On the streets, Ras is a cold-blooded syndicate enforcer, and makes no apologies for it. But he pursues Nate with a tenderness like nothing Nate has ever known. While no amount of violence could compel Nate to betray his moral compass, love leaves him defenseless.
The vibrant portraits Nate paints tell every story but his own: a lost little girl who thinks of him as a father, a lawyer who tempers justice with compassion, a crime boss and an art thief, and the killer who stole his heart. Ras offers him the love he’s yearned for all his life, if only he is willing to close his eyes to the violent truth. But his story is not one of compromise. It is the story of an indomitable spirit, rising like fire from the ashes of his past.
For once in his life, he’s going to do the right thing, even if it kills him. And it probably will.
But the most dangerous criminal in the city—a man whose sadism and ruthlessness have become local legend—decides to spare Nate’s life. On the streets, Ras is a cold-blooded syndicate enforcer, and makes no apologies for it. But he pursues Nate with a tenderness like nothing Nate has ever known. While no amount of violence could compel Nate to betray his moral compass, love leaves him defenseless.
The vibrant portraits Nate paints tell every story but his own: a lost little girl who thinks of him as a father, a lawyer who tempers justice with compassion, a crime boss and an art thief, and the killer who stole his heart. Ras offers him the love he’s yearned for all his life, if only he is willing to close his eyes to the violent truth. But his story is not one of compromise. It is the story of an indomitable spirit, rising like fire from the ashes of his past.
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Published July 20, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 19, 2021
I struggle with how to describe this queer book - it’s not a romance although it contains a love story that ends with an HEA - but it stayed with me after I beta read an early draft, and that only got stronger after I read the finished version. Nate Redfield, a gay artist, was badly abused as a child, ended up involved with an abusive partner and addicted to drugs, but somehow managed to stabilize his life before meeting and falling for Ras, a 100% amoral murderer and torturer working for a crime syndicate. (Ras is terrifying. I don’t care how much he claims to love Nate or his other partners. Yikes.)
Unfortunately for Nate and Ras as a couple, Nate’s fundamentally a good man, and Ras won’t ever be. Partway through the book, Nate meets a man who *is* his match… but then that man walks away when Nate needs him most.
Really what it comes down to its that the Phoenix of the title is Nate, who must continually rise from the ashes of his own life and broken relationships until he’s burned away all the toxicity - in large part by accepting and processing his own abuse, and seeing himself worthy of love.
I think it would be a hard read for many people, but I want us to have space for messy, complicated queer stories. This is a good one.
Unfortunately for Nate and Ras as a couple, Nate’s fundamentally a good man, and Ras won’t ever be. Partway through the book, Nate meets a man who *is* his match… but then that man walks away when Nate needs him most.
Really what it comes down to its that the Phoenix of the title is Nate, who must continually rise from the ashes of his own life and broken relationships until he’s burned away all the toxicity - in large part by accepting and processing his own abuse, and seeing himself worthy of love.
I think it would be a hard read for many people, but I want us to have space for messy, complicated queer stories. This is a good one.
July 12, 2020
Nate Redfield has not had it easy in life. He was mistreated by his mother then his boyfriend Troy.
The only person who he loved is Sierra. His daughter on paper but actually is his ex-boyfriend's sister's child. He promised her the world but his addiction and his toxic relationship with his ex got in the way of taking care of Sierra.
But all that is behind him now, he has been sober for a year and tries to provide for Sierra from afar by working for the syndicate.
But after seeing the wrong doings of his profession, he wants to call it quits. However, you can't just leave the syndicate unless you're a dead man walking. Just when he was about to take a bullet to the head, he is saved by Ras.
Ras is second in command to the syndicate boss, Scarlett Bancroft.
He is her shadow, her second in command. Her knife in the dark, her pet monster, her dearest love.
Ras is a complicated man, whose mind is broken, he can't remember parts of his past after he left his alter ego, Jude de Haven behind.
He can't remember how he used to know Nate when he was Jude.
But he and Nate had shared a special connection then, one which impacted Nate and saved his life when he was younger.
Ras is pansexual and is in an open and polyamorous arrangement with his partners Ash and Scarlett and now is intent on adding Nate to the mix.
Something about Nate draws him in, he is a contradiction to what Ras is.
He describes Nate as his hero and white knight.
Nate and Ras have a complicated relationship. Nate knows about his past and present but he yearns to have a normal relationship with Jude.
( I do feel in an alternate reality that Nate and Jude would make a wonderful couple❤️)
I loved that both Nate and Ras were extremely complicated characters and had their demons to face, but I was really rooting for them to end up together and for Ras to remember how Jude was with Nate.
However, I do believe that they each get their own happy endings.
Ras gets Scarlett and Ash with a baby on the way and Nate gets Ethan and Sierra.
The imagery of Nate rising from the ashes like a Phoenix despite what life throws at him is a powerful message!
( I received an arc and voluntarily left a review.)
The only person who he loved is Sierra. His daughter on paper but actually is his ex-boyfriend's sister's child. He promised her the world but his addiction and his toxic relationship with his ex got in the way of taking care of Sierra.
But all that is behind him now, he has been sober for a year and tries to provide for Sierra from afar by working for the syndicate.
But after seeing the wrong doings of his profession, he wants to call it quits. However, you can't just leave the syndicate unless you're a dead man walking. Just when he was about to take a bullet to the head, he is saved by Ras.
Ras is second in command to the syndicate boss, Scarlett Bancroft.
He is her shadow, her second in command. Her knife in the dark, her pet monster, her dearest love.
Ras is a complicated man, whose mind is broken, he can't remember parts of his past after he left his alter ego, Jude de Haven behind.
He can't remember how he used to know Nate when he was Jude.
But he and Nate had shared a special connection then, one which impacted Nate and saved his life when he was younger.
Ras is pansexual and is in an open and polyamorous arrangement with his partners Ash and Scarlett and now is intent on adding Nate to the mix.
Something about Nate draws him in, he is a contradiction to what Ras is.
He describes Nate as his hero and white knight.
Nate and Ras have a complicated relationship. Nate knows about his past and present but he yearns to have a normal relationship with Jude.
( I do feel in an alternate reality that Nate and Jude would make a wonderful couple❤️)
I loved that both Nate and Ras were extremely complicated characters and had their demons to face, but I was really rooting for them to end up together and for Ras to remember how Jude was with Nate.
However, I do believe that they each get their own happy endings.
Ras gets Scarlett and Ash with a baby on the way and Nate gets Ethan and Sierra.
The imagery of Nate rising from the ashes like a Phoenix despite what life throws at him is a powerful message!
( I received an arc and voluntarily left a review.)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 18, 2020
This book went above and beyond my expectations! Everything felt super deep and emotional, and the characters felt so real. Sure, some of the situations were things you don’t see everyday but it was all very sincere. Nate’s story is a rough one but he truly is the phoenix rising from its ashes time and time again. There were a few other characters whose story we got more POV for and they all connected so well.
I read the book in two days because I didn’t want to put it down. Wonderful story, wonderfully told.
I read the book in two days because I didn’t want to put it down. Wonderful story, wonderfully told.
July 17, 2020
Nate Redfield goes to the syndicate owned strip club one night to tell them he's done. He's done selling drugs and he doesn't want to work for them anymore. Nate has been clean for a year and he doesn't want to be responsible for people dying. He knows that means they will kill him because there's no way that one can leave the syndicate. Fate intervenes in the form of Ras. Ras is second in command of the syndicate, is cold as hell, and is the enforcer.
Ras steps in long enough for Nate to run. It's not that easy to get away from someone like Ras though and by the time Nate gets home Ras is already there. Ras is impressed with Nate's art and offers alternative employment. He wants Nate to display his work at a syndicate gallery at which they launder money. It's not ideal but it's not dealing drugs and it's not being dead... so it seems like something Nate can do.
I'm not sure how to describe this book. It's a journey of self-discovery I think. Nate is in recovery from his drug use but that doesn't mean that he has recovered from all the things that were done to him when he was a kid. He had a brutal childhood and it has left physical and emotional scars on him.
This story is really well written and I love Moll's style. The flow is very graceful despite some of the violent content. The author has a way of bringing you in while you're reading, allowing you to forget at times how brutal some of the events are in the book.
Nate is an interesting character. His story is revealed through flashbacks to his past. His mother was absolutely wretched to him when he was young and he suffered things that no child should have to deal with. The one good thing in his life is Sierra. Sierra is the child of Nate's ex's sister - he just happened into her life and was at the hospital when she was born. He felt an instant connection to her and has vowed to try and make her life better.
I really liked Nate. He stuck to his guns and really tried to be a better person than he was raised to be. Part of his journey throughout this book is coming to terms with the fact that the abuse he has suffered wasn't his fault and hasn't changed him irreparably.
Ras was a really interesting character as well. Sadly, I felt as though the full potential of Ras doesn't play out in this novel. The story eludes to Ras being part of the same person as "Jude". Jude is a person from Nate's life pre-recovery. It's never explained whether Ras suffers from dissociative disorder or has chosen to move on from the person he was in his youth. I was extremely curious at first and was looking forward to more reveals about Ras and his past. Sadly, there's not much revealed. NOTE: I have just looked on Goodreads and it seems as though more of Ras' story may have been revealed in the first book. The two books are not, however, marked as part of a series.
Ras is an extremely violent man and the counter to that is the fact that he loves fully and completely. Once he loves someone, Ras is the kind of person who will never fall out of love. He just wants to take care of the people he loves and it doesn't matter to him if that means crime, money or just being there for them. He will do it all. Ras is polyamorous and is in a relationship with Scarlett (the syndicate boss) and his boyfriend Ash. They are great supporting characters in their own right and it would have been great to know more about them.
There was a bit of POV switching which confused me from time to time...but it didn't take me out of the story. Moll's writing was beautiful and I kept coming back to that.
I know that some people won't be pleased with the ending. But I think the author made a brave and purposeful choice. It makes sense to me... and I think that's an important part of this story. It's very realistic and doesn't pull any punches. I'm not going to spoil the ending...but I think it was a brave choice and it fits with the story.
Ras steps in long enough for Nate to run. It's not that easy to get away from someone like Ras though and by the time Nate gets home Ras is already there. Ras is impressed with Nate's art and offers alternative employment. He wants Nate to display his work at a syndicate gallery at which they launder money. It's not ideal but it's not dealing drugs and it's not being dead... so it seems like something Nate can do.
I'm not sure how to describe this book. It's a journey of self-discovery I think. Nate is in recovery from his drug use but that doesn't mean that he has recovered from all the things that were done to him when he was a kid. He had a brutal childhood and it has left physical and emotional scars on him.
This story is really well written and I love Moll's style. The flow is very graceful despite some of the violent content. The author has a way of bringing you in while you're reading, allowing you to forget at times how brutal some of the events are in the book.
Nate is an interesting character. His story is revealed through flashbacks to his past. His mother was absolutely wretched to him when he was young and he suffered things that no child should have to deal with. The one good thing in his life is Sierra. Sierra is the child of Nate's ex's sister - he just happened into her life and was at the hospital when she was born. He felt an instant connection to her and has vowed to try and make her life better.
I really liked Nate. He stuck to his guns and really tried to be a better person than he was raised to be. Part of his journey throughout this book is coming to terms with the fact that the abuse he has suffered wasn't his fault and hasn't changed him irreparably.
Ras was a really interesting character as well. Sadly, I felt as though the full potential of Ras doesn't play out in this novel. The story eludes to Ras being part of the same person as "Jude". Jude is a person from Nate's life pre-recovery. It's never explained whether Ras suffers from dissociative disorder or has chosen to move on from the person he was in his youth. I was extremely curious at first and was looking forward to more reveals about Ras and his past. Sadly, there's not much revealed. NOTE: I have just looked on Goodreads and it seems as though more of Ras' story may have been revealed in the first book. The two books are not, however, marked as part of a series.
Ras is an extremely violent man and the counter to that is the fact that he loves fully and completely. Once he loves someone, Ras is the kind of person who will never fall out of love. He just wants to take care of the people he loves and it doesn't matter to him if that means crime, money or just being there for them. He will do it all. Ras is polyamorous and is in a relationship with Scarlett (the syndicate boss) and his boyfriend Ash. They are great supporting characters in their own right and it would have been great to know more about them.
There was a bit of POV switching which confused me from time to time...but it didn't take me out of the story. Moll's writing was beautiful and I kept coming back to that.
I know that some people won't be pleased with the ending. But I think the author made a brave and purposeful choice. It makes sense to me... and I think that's an important part of this story. It's very realistic and doesn't pull any punches. I'm not going to spoil the ending...but I think it was a brave choice and it fits with the story.
July 16, 2020
(1.5 stars)
I have mixed feelings about this book.
I am just kind of ranting on this one, so there will be spoilers ahead.
Nate has mother issues and to get away from his mother he jumps out of his bedroom window and claims his mother was the one abusing him? I get that his mother was'nt the best by far, but getting involved in drugs and living on the streets isn't the answer. From then on he gets involved with Troy, who is just a glorified pimp than actually his boyfriend. Living with Troy, he gets to meet Jude who works for the syndicate mob. By day he is a drug peddlar and by night he is the muscle (Ras) for the syndicate mob.
I really did’nt understand what exactly happened for Jude's mind to fray between Ras and Jude and then completely remove Jude as a part of Ras. The relationship that Ras shares with his partners is odd. He is portrayed as a dominant but apparently he is submissive with his female partner (the syndicate boss) and dominant with his male partner.
I didn't really get the dynamics of their relationship.
Ras pursuing Nate kind of made sense but when they didn't end up together I was flummoxed. After all that build up and just poof! they part ways. Ethan kind of came out of nowhere. Literally out of nowhere. We were just given a pov of ethan half way through the plot and suddenly he becomes an important part of Nate's life. Ethan ending up with Nate was a no brainer. I didn't feel any chemistry between them whatsoever and to top it all he had very little page time. There is no trust between them either because Ethan doesn't trust him when Nate claims that it was his sister's abusive ex who attacked his sister and not him.
He believes a child instead and then realises the error of his ways.
Ras killing Nate's mother was literally the last straw.
Some parts of the plot didn't make sense to me. There were a lot of loose ends that weren't tied up.
The beginning of the story captured by attention but after that it started going down hill from there.
I did like the author's writing and the plot had tons of potential but this one just didn't work for me.
(This book was provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing & Design in exchange for an honest review.)
I have mixed feelings about this book.
I am just kind of ranting on this one, so there will be spoilers ahead.
Nate has mother issues and to get away from his mother he jumps out of his bedroom window and claims his mother was the one abusing him? I get that his mother was'nt the best by far, but getting involved in drugs and living on the streets isn't the answer. From then on he gets involved with Troy, who is just a glorified pimp than actually his boyfriend. Living with Troy, he gets to meet Jude who works for the syndicate mob. By day he is a drug peddlar and by night he is the muscle (Ras) for the syndicate mob.
I really did’nt understand what exactly happened for Jude's mind to fray between Ras and Jude and then completely remove Jude as a part of Ras. The relationship that Ras shares with his partners is odd. He is portrayed as a dominant but apparently he is submissive with his female partner (the syndicate boss) and dominant with his male partner.
I didn't really get the dynamics of their relationship.
Ras pursuing Nate kind of made sense but when they didn't end up together I was flummoxed. After all that build up and just poof! they part ways. Ethan kind of came out of nowhere. Literally out of nowhere. We were just given a pov of ethan half way through the plot and suddenly he becomes an important part of Nate's life. Ethan ending up with Nate was a no brainer. I didn't feel any chemistry between them whatsoever and to top it all he had very little page time. There is no trust between them either because Ethan doesn't trust him when Nate claims that it was his sister's abusive ex who attacked his sister and not him.
He believes a child instead and then realises the error of his ways.
Ras killing Nate's mother was literally the last straw.
Some parts of the plot didn't make sense to me. There were a lot of loose ends that weren't tied up.
The beginning of the story captured by attention but after that it started going down hill from there.
I did like the author's writing and the plot had tons of potential but this one just didn't work for me.
(This book was provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing & Design in exchange for an honest review.)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 28, 2020
I think the best word to describe this book is bittersweet.
The characters are vividly drawn and achingly broken: Nate, the protagonist, the painter/phoenix, is a gifted artist and a good man, abused as a child and let down by everyone in his life except for his adopted daughter Sierra. His love for his daughter is the deepest and purest in the book, and it’s really the heart of the story.
All of the romantic loves in Nate’s life let him down: this story is not a typical romance, it is not a tale of redemption or the success of true love. Nate’s first lover is a pimp and an abuser, his truest, deepest love is a charming, polyamorous sociopath, and his other love interest is gentle and steady except when he lets Nate down when he’s needed most. And through it all, Nate rises, the phoenix from the ashes: it’s a motif repeated throughout the novel, and it definitely fits Nate.
The novel is skillfully written. It’s structured so that each chapter begins with the description of a sketch or painting, and it’s pervaded by images that evoke complicated emotions and insights. To give specific examples is to give away details that are necessary to the unfolding of the story, so I won’t, but there’s a ton of rich color imagery that brings each character, and all their jagged nuances, to life. I will be thinking about this book for a while. It’s not a light or easy read, but it definitely made me feel.
*I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily composed an unbiased review
The characters are vividly drawn and achingly broken: Nate, the protagonist, the painter/phoenix, is a gifted artist and a good man, abused as a child and let down by everyone in his life except for his adopted daughter Sierra. His love for his daughter is the deepest and purest in the book, and it’s really the heart of the story.
All of the romantic loves in Nate’s life let him down: this story is not a typical romance, it is not a tale of redemption or the success of true love. Nate’s first lover is a pimp and an abuser, his truest, deepest love is a charming, polyamorous sociopath, and his other love interest is gentle and steady except when he lets Nate down when he’s needed most. And through it all, Nate rises, the phoenix from the ashes: it’s a motif repeated throughout the novel, and it definitely fits Nate.
The novel is skillfully written. It’s structured so that each chapter begins with the description of a sketch or painting, and it’s pervaded by images that evoke complicated emotions and insights. To give specific examples is to give away details that are necessary to the unfolding of the story, so I won’t, but there’s a ton of rich color imagery that brings each character, and all their jagged nuances, to life. I will be thinking about this book for a while. It’s not a light or easy read, but it definitely made me feel.
*I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily composed an unbiased review
July 17, 2020
My expectations going into this book were that I’d get an angsty love story with a HEA for the main characters. Boy was I wrong. There’s a whole lot of angst, different versions of love, terrible darkness, brutality, despair, and above all hope.
Ras was a very intricate man, hard, intractable, yet soft with those he loved or felt responsible for. Nate was the Phoenix, rising from the ashes so many times. Every time he was taken down he just kept getting back up.
I don’t want to say too much because the reader needs to discover this book for themselves. I will say there is a brief MF scene, there is also mention of a threesome but not on the page. The sexual intimacy in the book was mostly off page. The writing was nice. Bringing each dark thing into the light for a better perspective.
I didn’t realize there is a book that tells Jude’s story called Dark City. I definitely would of read it first.
This book was provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing & Design in exchange for an honest review. Review Copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads.
Ras was a very intricate man, hard, intractable, yet soft with those he loved or felt responsible for. Nate was the Phoenix, rising from the ashes so many times. Every time he was taken down he just kept getting back up.
I don’t want to say too much because the reader needs to discover this book for themselves. I will say there is a brief MF scene, there is also mention of a threesome but not on the page. The sexual intimacy in the book was mostly off page. The writing was nice. Bringing each dark thing into the light for a better perspective.
I didn’t realize there is a book that tells Jude’s story called Dark City. I definitely would of read it first.
This book was provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing & Design in exchange for an honest review. Review Copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads.
July 20, 2020
I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book.
I liked Nate and his journey, his growth. He's had a difficult past and was trying to do better for himself, I enjoyed seeing him learn from his mistakes and find the strength to begin anew.
But there was also Ras, once known as Jude, with his complicated relationship, other people I just couldn't see the point of being included, others I wished I'd known more about. Sadly, the whole storyline at some point became just a mess with a thread I lost interest in following.
I feel like recommending this book, because I'm sure others can appreciate it more than I did.
*ARC provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing&Design in exchange for an honest review
I liked Nate and his journey, his growth. He's had a difficult past and was trying to do better for himself, I enjoyed seeing him learn from his mistakes and find the strength to begin anew.
But there was also Ras, once known as Jude, with his complicated relationship, other people I just couldn't see the point of being included, others I wished I'd known more about. Sadly, the whole storyline at some point became just a mess with a thread I lost interest in following.
I feel like recommending this book, because I'm sure others can appreciate it more than I did.
*ARC provided by the author via IndiGo Marketing&Design in exchange for an honest review
September 7, 2020
A whole lot of angst and bags of feelings in this book that just ended up a tad muddled for me by the end. Overall, an average read for me, with likeable characters.
*COPY kindly given by NetGallery in exchange for an honest review, thank you so much*
*COPY kindly given by NetGallery in exchange for an honest review, thank you so much*
September 20, 2020
The characters were good. They had a lot of depth and were interesting. Still, it just wasn't a book for me. It was a bit confusing at times and I never really did understand Raf. I think that's probably the point but it still left me with a sense of confusion and dissatisfaction.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews