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How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence
Good parenting depends on good communication. The problem is, we parents tend to over-talk. Not only is this ineffective, it discourages children from sharing what's on their hearts. In this immensely practical book, communications expert Becky Harling shares the best listening practices to transform your family's relationships and set your children
up for success, including how to
· help them express their feelings in healthy ways
· listen to affirm their strengths
· model how to navigate conflict with grace
· listen to God, knowing that he "bends down to listen" to us (Psalm 116:2 nlt)
Whether your son or daughter is in preschool, grade school, or high school, intentional listening will help them feel heard, valued, and empowered to find their unique voice. The practices you put into place now will set a foundation for strong relationships into adulthood.
up for success, including how to
· help them express their feelings in healthy ways
· listen to affirm their strengths
· model how to navigate conflict with grace
· listen to God, knowing that he "bends down to listen" to us (Psalm 116:2 nlt)
Whether your son or daughter is in preschool, grade school, or high school, intentional listening will help them feel heard, valued, and empowered to find their unique voice. The practices you put into place now will set a foundation for strong relationships into adulthood.
- GenresParenting
160 pages, Paperback
Published January 5, 2021
23 people are currently reading
1403 people want to read
About the author
Becky Harling
22 books35 followersBECKY HARLING has a degree in Biblical Literature and is a sought-after speaker and Bible teacher at women's conferences and retreats. Through her writing, Becky creatively combines deep biblical insight with her powerful testimony and the stories of other women. Her life experiences as a pastor's wife, parent of four adult children, grandmother of five grandchildren, women's ministries director, survivor of breast cancer and sexual abuse bring depth to her message. She brings a message of hope and healing that is refreshingly transparent. Becky is a gifted communicator with a passion for helping women find hope, healing, freedom, and ultimately life transformation through Jesus Christ. She is the author of Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom From Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge, The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents, and How to Listen So People Will Talk.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
June 7, 2022
I haven't read a parenting book in a long time, but this is one of the very best! I wish I'd had it 20 years ago. Harling's counsel is wise, and given in short, clever bursts of practical application--the anecdotes are all great. It's a humbling and inspiring book at the same time. I took pictures of some passages and want to go back and take more notes now. Yes, it gave me ideas to use with own family, and I'm very grateful.
January 24, 2021
In How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, Becky Harling opened up about parenting and how she learned the importance of listening to what is our children heart’s. She raised four children and now has 14 grandchildren. She begins by sharing a personal story about her own parenting and how God spoke to her during one conversation with her daughter. One of her daughters who was 4 at the time loved to argue and disagree with her on many things. One time, they were arguing and her daughter was telling her no and she was begging for her to listen to her side. The Lord spoke to her and said give her a voice and since then she tried the timer method. She gave her daughter one minute per year of her age to state her case. Later, she was able to recognize that her daughter had strong leadership abilities. She compared her to Deborah in the Bible and how God used her to help defeat enemies of Israel and how she was a strong leader and confident. Throughout her parenting, she was able to see how critical it is for our children to feel like we are hearing what they have to say. She shared how if we will listen to our children now and connect with them, then when they become adults, they will be more open to speak with us and in turn we will develop a healthy everlasting relationship.
She shared how we need to all become more mindful in our parenting and to limit the distractions with work and technology when we are supposed to be engaging with our children. This will help us to let our children know we are hearing them. The book looked at how we can be intentional with having a date with each of our child and doing a special activity one on one. She also shared how playing is importance for the growth of our children. We can also learn the practice of asking questions and creating conversation topics to engage at family dinner time and other times as needed. She included 50 open ended questions to assist parents in asking their children these questions and to learn more about how they are feeling and thinking. She also included tips on using wisdom to ask questions wisely.
I would recommend this awesome parenting book to anyone who is struggling with raising their kids. I immensely like how she looked at ways to use wisdom found in scriptures and how we can use better listening and listening practices to engaged with our children. I liked how she included how to pray scriptures over our kids’ lives and she included fill in the blanks in the book. I also liked how she included wisdom tools at the end of each chapter. This enclosed wisdom from God, self-care, and wisdom from the different ages: preschoolers, grade schoolers, tweens, and teens. I enjoyed how she looked at different ideas and suggestions for each stage of your child’s life. I also liked how she included suggestions on how to affirm and recognize our child’s strengths. This book will guide readers into making sure our children are seen and heard and it will greatly transform our parent and child relationships.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Bethany House/ Chosen for my honest review.”
She shared how we need to all become more mindful in our parenting and to limit the distractions with work and technology when we are supposed to be engaging with our children. This will help us to let our children know we are hearing them. The book looked at how we can be intentional with having a date with each of our child and doing a special activity one on one. She also shared how playing is importance for the growth of our children. We can also learn the practice of asking questions and creating conversation topics to engage at family dinner time and other times as needed. She included 50 open ended questions to assist parents in asking their children these questions and to learn more about how they are feeling and thinking. She also included tips on using wisdom to ask questions wisely.
I would recommend this awesome parenting book to anyone who is struggling with raising their kids. I immensely like how she looked at ways to use wisdom found in scriptures and how we can use better listening and listening practices to engaged with our children. I liked how she included how to pray scriptures over our kids’ lives and she included fill in the blanks in the book. I also liked how she included wisdom tools at the end of each chapter. This enclosed wisdom from God, self-care, and wisdom from the different ages: preschoolers, grade schoolers, tweens, and teens. I enjoyed how she looked at different ideas and suggestions for each stage of your child’s life. I also liked how she included suggestions on how to affirm and recognize our child’s strengths. This book will guide readers into making sure our children are seen and heard and it will greatly transform our parent and child relationships.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Bethany House/ Chosen for my honest review.”
January 31, 2021
At the start of 2020, I read Steve and Becky Harling's book Listen Well, Lead Better. It was a fair book, but not outstanding in my mind. I much preferred John C. Maxwell's Everyone Communicates, Few Connect when it comes to the realm of building your listening skills so you can lead well.
However, I wasn't looking for that specific of a takeaway when I started How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling. I try to be very intentional on building my relationships with my children. I hear from other friends that their kids don't talk to them, and I don't think of myself as a good listener. I talk a lot and I think most of us talkers would say listening is not our strength. However, I want to continue to grow myself so that I can be a good listener, especially when it comes to my own children.
This was a terrific book, but I can't go over all of the specifics so I'm just going to choose a few things to touch on that were meaningful to me:
In the chapter called "Watch Your Nonverbals" I was accosted with the realization (or remembering) that my tone can speak volumes in communicating. Often I have a tone of correction or incredulity with my kids (I can't believe you did that or said that!). I need to work on having a neutral tone (and neutral face) when listening to them or communicating with them.
In "Listen to Affirm Strengths" Harling posed the question, "What if you intentionally shifted your focus to concentrate more on their strengths than weaknesses?" Oh boy! That's a tough one as a mom; we are often trying to build them to have good behaviors so we get in this correction overload mode. However, if we were to encourage our children when we see their strengths, they would naturally want to do those things again. It's so helpful to have our strengths brought out and encouraged, too, right?
My favorite chapter was the last one: "Teach Them to Have Conversations with God." I blew it with my kids one night - totally blew it. Yelled and made them feel awful. Hate that. But it did bring about good confessions and forgiveness. But I told them, I wish I was a patient mom. But we are so blessed to have a good, good Father who is always patient. I will never be perfectly patient, but He is. I will never be perfectly steadfast, but He is. I will always fail you at some point, but He never will. Teaching our children about prayer is showing them our weaknesses and His strength. That He will be there through all things, even when we cannot be. I believe, like Harling, that "the greatest gift you will ever give your child is praying for him and teaching him how to pray."
I had other great things underlined in the book, and am so glad I included it in my 2021 reading list.
Disclaimer: Thank you to Bethany House Publishers for providing me with this book. I was forced to write a good review, but thought it fitting for this book.
However, I wasn't looking for that specific of a takeaway when I started How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling. I try to be very intentional on building my relationships with my children. I hear from other friends that their kids don't talk to them, and I don't think of myself as a good listener. I talk a lot and I think most of us talkers would say listening is not our strength. However, I want to continue to grow myself so that I can be a good listener, especially when it comes to my own children.
This was a terrific book, but I can't go over all of the specifics so I'm just going to choose a few things to touch on that were meaningful to me:
In the chapter called "Watch Your Nonverbals" I was accosted with the realization (or remembering) that my tone can speak volumes in communicating. Often I have a tone of correction or incredulity with my kids (I can't believe you did that or said that!). I need to work on having a neutral tone (and neutral face) when listening to them or communicating with them.
In "Listen to Affirm Strengths" Harling posed the question, "What if you intentionally shifted your focus to concentrate more on their strengths than weaknesses?" Oh boy! That's a tough one as a mom; we are often trying to build them to have good behaviors so we get in this correction overload mode. However, if we were to encourage our children when we see their strengths, they would naturally want to do those things again. It's so helpful to have our strengths brought out and encouraged, too, right?
My favorite chapter was the last one: "Teach Them to Have Conversations with God." I blew it with my kids one night - totally blew it. Yelled and made them feel awful. Hate that. But it did bring about good confessions and forgiveness. But I told them, I wish I was a patient mom. But we are so blessed to have a good, good Father who is always patient. I will never be perfectly patient, but He is. I will never be perfectly steadfast, but He is. I will always fail you at some point, but He never will. Teaching our children about prayer is showing them our weaknesses and His strength. That He will be there through all things, even when we cannot be. I believe, like Harling, that "the greatest gift you will ever give your child is praying for him and teaching him how to pray."
I had other great things underlined in the book, and am so glad I included it in my 2021 reading list.
Disclaimer: Thank you to Bethany House Publishers for providing me with this book. I was forced to write a good review, but thought it fitting for this book.
Read
January 7, 2021If you have a young person in your life give yourself the gift of buying this book! The title says it all! The practical and biblical tips in this book can strengthen any relationship you have with a young person. If this pandemic of 2020 has taught us anything it should be how much we value the time we have with it families and what better way to grow together than by strengthening our relationships by giving our children their voice back. While I was reading I felt like Becky Harling must have been a fly on the wall in my house because the stories she shares mimic exactly what has gone on in my household!
I think however the best part of this book is that at the end of each chapter Becky gives us “wisdom tools” that she divides into 3 sub categories: wisdom from God, wisdom for self-care, and wisdom for the ages. It gives you a section for a Bible study or self reflection and also questions in how you can put some of those tips into practice right away. The wisdom for the ages section is great because she gives specific tips or advice or suggestions in how you can implement what you just read specifically in different age categories: preschoolers, grade schoolers, tweens, and teens.
I can’t say enough good about this book and how life changing it can be in building amazing relationships with your children and helping them feel loved and validated and encouraged. I will suggest however when you do read this book have a box of Kleenex nearby. The conviction that this book brings hits the heart. Do yourself a favor and buy this book and buy it for your friends and teachers and pastors and youth workers. It’s an invaluable resource.
I think however the best part of this book is that at the end of each chapter Becky gives us “wisdom tools” that she divides into 3 sub categories: wisdom from God, wisdom for self-care, and wisdom for the ages. It gives you a section for a Bible study or self reflection and also questions in how you can put some of those tips into practice right away. The wisdom for the ages section is great because she gives specific tips or advice or suggestions in how you can implement what you just read specifically in different age categories: preschoolers, grade schoolers, tweens, and teens.
I can’t say enough good about this book and how life changing it can be in building amazing relationships with your children and helping them feel loved and validated and encouraged. I will suggest however when you do read this book have a box of Kleenex nearby. The conviction that this book brings hits the heart. Do yourself a favor and buy this book and buy it for your friends and teachers and pastors and youth workers. It’s an invaluable resource.
February 8, 2021
I’m an introverted youth pastor who has, for years, considered myself to be a pretty good listener. Sadly, I fear that I sometimes listen BETTER to other people’s kids than I do my own. Having recognized this in myself, I was excited to read Becky Harling’s How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk.
I enjoyed this book immensely, which combines Scriptural threads with anecdotes from Becky’s life as a parent and grandparent.
While I didn’t always agree with Becky’s scriptural exposition, I wholeheartedly appreciated the practical aspects of this book. In particular, I loved her “Wisdom for the Ages” section that closed each chapter. As a parent and youth pastor, I greatly appreciated how Becky gave detailed suggestions for three different age groups: Preschoolers, Grade Schoolers, and Tweens.
I found two chapters of How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk particularly thought-provoking and helpful. The first was the opening chapter of the book, “Give Them a Voice”, in which Becky challenges her reads to consider whether their child might have the “spirit of Deborah” and how we might “cultivate rather than silence it”. I’ve found myself thinking about this a lot in the moments when I get frustrated with my 5-year old – Hope’s - desire to negotiate EVERYTHING. It’s been a helpful frame for me to see Hope in.
After nearly a year of being safe at home, I also really appreciated Becky’s chapter on conflict. In my house, at least, it seems like the more time our family has spent together, the more we’ve fought. Once again, Becky’s sage wisdom here helped give me a new lens through which to approach conflict and a needed reminder that “You can be firm without bringing in a harsh tone.”
All in all, How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk is a worthwhile, quick read for parents who want to learn to listen to their child (of any age!) better.
******************************************************
I was honored to receive a copy of How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk from Bethany House Publishers and chose to review the book. All opinions are my own.
I enjoyed this book immensely, which combines Scriptural threads with anecdotes from Becky’s life as a parent and grandparent.
While I didn’t always agree with Becky’s scriptural exposition, I wholeheartedly appreciated the practical aspects of this book. In particular, I loved her “Wisdom for the Ages” section that closed each chapter. As a parent and youth pastor, I greatly appreciated how Becky gave detailed suggestions for three different age groups: Preschoolers, Grade Schoolers, and Tweens.
I found two chapters of How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk particularly thought-provoking and helpful. The first was the opening chapter of the book, “Give Them a Voice”, in which Becky challenges her reads to consider whether their child might have the “spirit of Deborah” and how we might “cultivate rather than silence it”. I’ve found myself thinking about this a lot in the moments when I get frustrated with my 5-year old – Hope’s - desire to negotiate EVERYTHING. It’s been a helpful frame for me to see Hope in.
After nearly a year of being safe at home, I also really appreciated Becky’s chapter on conflict. In my house, at least, it seems like the more time our family has spent together, the more we’ve fought. Once again, Becky’s sage wisdom here helped give me a new lens through which to approach conflict and a needed reminder that “You can be firm without bringing in a harsh tone.”
All in all, How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk is a worthwhile, quick read for parents who want to learn to listen to their child (of any age!) better.
******************************************************
I was honored to receive a copy of How to Listen So Your Kids will Talk from Bethany House Publishers and chose to review the book. All opinions are my own.
February 20, 2021
I received this book in exchange for my honest review from Bethany House Publishing. All opinions are my own
I finished reading, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, by Becky Harling. I give this book 5/5 stars. The emphasis of this book is all about communication. How to speak and listen to your children with more focus on intentional listening. Whether in preschool of highschool this book will help you understand how to build a strong and solid foundation for a healthy relationship with your child all the way into adulthood. I appreciate the biblical references and illustrations to help parents model how to navigate conflict with grace. I highly recommend this book would make a great Bible study or conference in your church.
I agree with what the author shares in the first chapter, in fact I have shared this same advice with my friends and family across social media, give your kids a voice. Allow them to speak and allow ourselves to listen to what they have to say. I also appreciate the "Wisdom Tools" after each chapter. Each wisdom tool has wisdom from God where a Scripture verse is shared helping to read what the Word of God says and how to apply it over your life. It also has wisdom for self-care with a few thought-provoking questions that will help you reflect and share from within and finally the wisdom for all ages on how to better your communication with your children from infancy into adulthood.
I finished reading, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, by Becky Harling. I give this book 5/5 stars. The emphasis of this book is all about communication. How to speak and listen to your children with more focus on intentional listening. Whether in preschool of highschool this book will help you understand how to build a strong and solid foundation for a healthy relationship with your child all the way into adulthood. I appreciate the biblical references and illustrations to help parents model how to navigate conflict with grace. I highly recommend this book would make a great Bible study or conference in your church.
I agree with what the author shares in the first chapter, in fact I have shared this same advice with my friends and family across social media, give your kids a voice. Allow them to speak and allow ourselves to listen to what they have to say. I also appreciate the "Wisdom Tools" after each chapter. Each wisdom tool has wisdom from God where a Scripture verse is shared helping to read what the Word of God says and how to apply it over your life. It also has wisdom for self-care with a few thought-provoking questions that will help you reflect and share from within and finally the wisdom for all ages on how to better your communication with your children from infancy into adulthood.
January 19, 2021
With multiple books about listening under her belt and many domestic and international speaking engagements on the topic, author Becky Harling is no novice on the subject of listening and talking when appropriate. After raising four kids of her own and being blessed with multiple grandkids, Harling expertly uses her own life as examples woven into the narrative within “How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk.”
With topics ranging from allowing your children to negotiate to affirming their strengths and watching the nonverbals you yourself are putting out, this book offers a fresh perspective on successfully navigating your children across the all ages. Further re-affirming this is the chapter endings which each conclude with “wisdom tools.” These “wisdom tools” includes wisdom from God bible study verses, wisdom for self-care asking you, the parent, deep questions relating to the chapter’s topic and finally wisdom for the ages which targets children of different ages from infants to preschool, grade school, tween and teen years these wisdom tools prove to perfectly compliment each chapter’s topic and insights while providing solutions for your parenting style and child by age.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher; all opinions are my own.
With topics ranging from allowing your children to negotiate to affirming their strengths and watching the nonverbals you yourself are putting out, this book offers a fresh perspective on successfully navigating your children across the all ages. Further re-affirming this is the chapter endings which each conclude with “wisdom tools.” These “wisdom tools” includes wisdom from God bible study verses, wisdom for self-care asking you, the parent, deep questions relating to the chapter’s topic and finally wisdom for the ages which targets children of different ages from infants to preschool, grade school, tween and teen years these wisdom tools prove to perfectly compliment each chapter’s topic and insights while providing solutions for your parenting style and child by age.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher; all opinions are my own.
June 6, 2023
I listened to this sweet author speak and then was impelled to buy her book.
Beautiful little book chocked full of great wisdom - I loved her candid writing style and scriptures and ideas of what to pray for. And like so many things, the application can be adjusted to improving relationships with your spouse and others. So many good nuggest I won't put all of them here...
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." David Augsburger
Ask the Lord to help you send inviting signals to your kids so they'll feel comfortable talking with you.
In fact, Jesus allowed himself to be interrupted often, and He never seemed to be in a hurry.
As I practiced being present to God, I asked Him to help me be fully present to my kids. p45
The phrase "on the way they should go" speaks to guiding your child toward the unique personality and strengths God has given them. p71
If God allows us as His children to negotiate and argue with Him, how can we as human parents not allow our kids the same privilege? p111
Beautiful little book chocked full of great wisdom - I loved her candid writing style and scriptures and ideas of what to pray for. And like so many things, the application can be adjusted to improving relationships with your spouse and others. So many good nuggest I won't put all of them here...
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." David Augsburger
Ask the Lord to help you send inviting signals to your kids so they'll feel comfortable talking with you.
In fact, Jesus allowed himself to be interrupted often, and He never seemed to be in a hurry.
As I practiced being present to God, I asked Him to help me be fully present to my kids. p45
The phrase "on the way they should go" speaks to guiding your child toward the unique personality and strengths God has given them. p71
If God allows us as His children to negotiate and argue with Him, how can we as human parents not allow our kids the same privilege? p111
March 15, 2021
A small book that is a quick read, but packed full of good points. I'm not sure there were a lot of new points that I hadn't thought about before, but they were condensed into one book and I definitely needed the reminders all back to back.
Reminders like: show delight in your child. Be happy to see them when they come home, when they get up in the morning, whenever you see them.
Do I keep my promises? This one stepped on my toes. I will promise them something and then totally forget about it and never follow through.
Understand your child's strengths and affirm them. Don't try to make them into something they're not. Along with this was the idea of listening to affirm rather than waiting to correct. Another reminder I really needed. I can do a lot of correcting and saying no, but what if I looked for the good and made special effort to compliment and affirm the good?
"God defines success as walking in humble obedience to Him, demonstrating His mercy and justice to others." This is taken from Micah 6:8.
"Your child needs to feel heard. Discipline yourself to listen to his thoughts before saying no."
I have so much to learn. My children are young yet, but I know, I know, if I don't listen to them now, why will they want to talk to me when they are older and I am ready to listen and wanting to hear all their thoughts.
I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.
Reminders like: show delight in your child. Be happy to see them when they come home, when they get up in the morning, whenever you see them.
Do I keep my promises? This one stepped on my toes. I will promise them something and then totally forget about it and never follow through.
Understand your child's strengths and affirm them. Don't try to make them into something they're not. Along with this was the idea of listening to affirm rather than waiting to correct. Another reminder I really needed. I can do a lot of correcting and saying no, but what if I looked for the good and made special effort to compliment and affirm the good?
"God defines success as walking in humble obedience to Him, demonstrating His mercy and justice to others." This is taken from Micah 6:8.
"Your child needs to feel heard. Discipline yourself to listen to his thoughts before saying no."
I have so much to learn. My children are young yet, but I know, I know, if I don't listen to them now, why will they want to talk to me when they are older and I am ready to listen and wanting to hear all their thoughts.
I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.
January 6, 2021
Seriously parents (and grandparents), do yourself a massive favor and buy a copy of Becky Harling’s new book! It’s full of simple, practical, powerful, and spiritual advice that is transformative. But equally important, it’s profoundly encouraging—especially when you feel as if you’re a total mess up as a parent. I wish I would have had this helpful resource years ago!
Buy yourself a copy, then get one for every family member or friend who is a parent as well. (And teachers, this should be a must-have in your classroom!)
I received an advance reader's copy from the publisher, and after devouring the content of this amazing book, immediately posted on my social media platforms. Yes--it really is THAT good.
Buy yourself a copy, then get one for every family member or friend who is a parent as well. (And teachers, this should be a must-have in your classroom!)
I received an advance reader's copy from the publisher, and after devouring the content of this amazing book, immediately posted on my social media platforms. Yes--it really is THAT good.
February 23, 2021
If every parent owned a toolkit filled with helpful resources, "How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" would be in it. Becky Harling has woven biblical truth, personal anecdotes, and practical advice into an easy read that leaves parents feeling equipped to develop meaningful communication with their kids of all ages. She includes bonus elements such as prayers for your children, “Fifty Open-Ended Questions” and “Wisdom Tools” — wisdom from God, wisdom for self-care, and wisdom for the ages. I wish I’d had this book when my kids were growing up—I know I would have found it useful. It’s a pleasure to recommend it.
- Grace Fox, author of Tuck-Me-In Talks With Your Little Ones: Creating Happy Bedtime Memories
- Grace Fox, author of Tuck-Me-In Talks With Your Little Ones: Creating Happy Bedtime Memories
February 2, 2021
Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in return for my honest opinion.
Even though Harling's book is only 160 pages long, it is full of wonderful words of wisdom to help parents in learning how to listen so that their kids will talk. Too often we talk and talk as parents while forgetting to give our children a voice. Harling presents the ability to do this in a Christian context using God as our Father and the Bible as our starting points.
I would recommend this book to Christian parents who wish to develop their relationships with their children (preschool to high school).
Even though Harling's book is only 160 pages long, it is full of wonderful words of wisdom to help parents in learning how to listen so that their kids will talk. Too often we talk and talk as parents while forgetting to give our children a voice. Harling presents the ability to do this in a Christian context using God as our Father and the Bible as our starting points.
I would recommend this book to Christian parents who wish to develop their relationships with their children (preschool to high school).
February 20, 2021
I finished reading, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, by Becky Harling. I give this book 5/5 stars. The emphasis of this book is all about communication. How to speak and listen to your children with more focus on intentional listening. Whether in preschool of highschool this book will help you understand how to build a strong and solid foundation for a healthy relationship with your child all the way into adulthood. I appreciate the biblical references and illustrations to help parents model how to navigate conflict with grace. I highly recommend this book would make a great Bible study or conference in your church.
October 31, 2021
If you are looking for insight and tips to grow communication and relationship with your child or teen, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence is a great resource.
Author Becky Harling discusses the importance of topics such as nonverbal communication and managing conflict. In addition, she addresses parents across age groups to include those with preschoolers through teens. The short chapters are easy to read and simple to implement.
Favorite quote: "The Scriptures you pray over your kids become blessings in their lives and turn out to be a powerful tool to use in their own prayer lives."
Author Becky Harling discusses the importance of topics such as nonverbal communication and managing conflict. In addition, she addresses parents across age groups to include those with preschoolers through teens. The short chapters are easy to read and simple to implement.
Favorite quote: "The Scriptures you pray over your kids become blessings in their lives and turn out to be a powerful tool to use in their own prayer lives."
October 10, 2022
Harling is a breeder qualified at the school of prayer. Her help comes from her imaginary friend whom she can prove pretty much as well as she can prove her method. And the purpose is not about ”deeper connection”, but rather in order to scan at will for sex before marriage, and other obedience tests. And sure, the quality of the communication is bordering abuse: know that god sees it all, and god has demanded to respects your parents, meaning me, so tell me all so I can punish you.
I guess her husband is okay with her extramarital affair with a Mexican named Jesus.
I guess her husband is okay with her extramarital affair with a Mexican named Jesus.
January 13, 2021
Practical tips to help parents master the art of truly listening! A blueprint that dives into these three components: seek God for wisdom, listen with the goal of understanding, and become a student of your child. Becky’s suggestions strengthen the parent-child relationship and encourage kids to express their thoughts and questions without hesitation or fear of reproach.
-Julie Lavender, author of 365 Ways to Love Your Child: Turning Little Moments into Lasting Memories (Revell)
-Julie Lavender, author of 365 Ways to Love Your Child: Turning Little Moments into Lasting Memories (Revell)
January 29, 2021
How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling is a new Christian parenting book. I highly recommend this book to parents of young children through the teen years. This book is full of practical advice and will be a reference to continually use. Each chapter had questions at the end for further reflection and had advice for different age groups of kids. The book was very well written and the author shared stories from her own kids and grandkids. The topics are very relevant to parenting today and I was convicted of my own phone use around my kids. Thank you to Bethany House Publishers for this review copy.
October 10, 2023
I was hoping for something more and I was not expecting something with such a strong Evangelical Christian lens. If that’s your cup of tea then maybe this book it for you!
About halfway though I stopped reading the story chunks and just read the summaries where she describes what each learning tool can look like for different ages. That seemed the most helpful to me and I was able to get something out of it in that way.
About halfway though I stopped reading the story chunks and just read the summaries where she describes what each learning tool can look like for different ages. That seemed the most helpful to me and I was able to get something out of it in that way.
January 5, 2021
Listening remains key to building lasting relationships with our children. Becky shares through real-life stories and experience how to keep children connected and talking through attentive, active listening. Underscoring her practical advice and exercises is an emphasis on listening to God as we pray for our children."
April 24, 2025
Harling has a great premise here in beginning with listening before speaking and parenting from a biblical perspective, but it fell flat in practical application. I definitely wouldn't subscribe to many of her methods (bribery, etc), but her "Wisdom Tools" at the end of each chapters were useful in guiding discussions with kids and providing Scripture to bring to those conversations.
January 3, 2021
A perfect read for parents with growing kids, moving out of the earlier years into more autonomous childhood years. Lots of practical tips provided through the “wisdom tools” pages at the end of each chapter, making the content easy to apply right away!
December 8, 2023
Solid book that will give parents a nice foundation of tools to work with. One small shift I'm making is replaying 'no' and 'but' with an acknowledgement of what the kid would like and an honest description of 'the problem is . . .'
July 10, 2022
If you're looking for a Christian based book about how to talk to kids maybe you'll enjoy this but I found it neither helpful or insightful in my parenting journey.
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