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Cover My Dreams in Ink: A Son's Unbearable Solitude, A Mother's Unending Quest
Born different, a boy struggles. His story draws you in. So, too, does his mother's relentless quest: from the fight for a suitable education and effective health care through the fight for his life as he enters the harrowing world of addiction. The boy's poetry--undiscovered in his lifetime--is intertwined, depicting the inner life of a person underestimated.
Facing bitter disappointments and often insurmountable obstacles, mother and son manage to cope with adversity, sometimes in opposition. Equally obvious is the bond between them, with their candid communications--laden with strife but not without humor--as evidence of that bond.
From the discovery of a drug that provided relief to the pure hell of addiction--exploited, humiliated, punished--and from homelessness and jail cells, to rehab and a wanderlust fueled by the relentless quest to belong, his young manhood is full of heartache, but marked by grit and determination and the capacity to love and forgive. The will to keep fighting.
The pages recount the journey of an individual, but the message is universal: human rights, a principle too easily negated for the vulnerable. Inspiring sensitivity for those who are different, compassion for those whose battles arise from uncontrollable circumstances rather than faults of character, this gripping story drives home the urgency for drug policy reform.
Facing bitter disappointments and often insurmountable obstacles, mother and son manage to cope with adversity, sometimes in opposition. Equally obvious is the bond between them, with their candid communications--laden with strife but not without humor--as evidence of that bond.
From the discovery of a drug that provided relief to the pure hell of addiction--exploited, humiliated, punished--and from homelessness and jail cells, to rehab and a wanderlust fueled by the relentless quest to belong, his young manhood is full of heartache, but marked by grit and determination and the capacity to love and forgive. The will to keep fighting.
The pages recount the journey of an individual, but the message is universal: human rights, a principle too easily negated for the vulnerable. Inspiring sensitivity for those who are different, compassion for those whose battles arise from uncontrollable circumstances rather than faults of character, this gripping story drives home the urgency for drug policy reform.
380 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2020
18 people are currently reading
28 people want to read
About the author
Jessie Dunleavy
1 book1 followerKnowing the devastation inflicted by the war on drugs—particularly for vulnerable populations—Jessie Dunleavy is an advocate for drug policy reform and is committed to combating stigma and other impediments to humane and effective strategies to reduce the harms of drug use.
In coming to terms with the loss of her son Paul, the injustices he suffered, and the realization that his death was preventable, she credits those whose advocacy preceded hers: scientists, journalists, physicians, and human rights workers whose mission—grounded in science and dedicated to justice—gave her hope, hope that humanity and compassion could triumph over the criminalization and marginalization of those who suffer.
In coming to terms with the loss of her son Paul, the injustices he suffered, and the realization that his death was preventable, she credits those whose advocacy preceded hers: scientists, journalists, physicians, and human rights workers whose mission—grounded in science and dedicated to justice—gave her hope, hope that humanity and compassion could triumph over the criminalization and marginalization of those who suffer.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 17, 2020
Jessie skillfully captures the journey she and Paul made through his short life in a way which is beautiful, brave and tragic. Paul’s poetry reveals his sensitivity, creativity and unique view of the world. Jessie’s writing conveys her courage, love, and determination, sprinkled with doses of gratitude and a keen sense of humor.
Part memoir, part poetry, Jessie also educates readers on the complex issues of addiction for both the addiction and care givers. Whether you are a fan of memoirs or are seeking to better understand addiction and mental health, pick up this book and be prepared to be captivated by the writing and Paul and Jessie’s story.
Part memoir, part poetry, Jessie also educates readers on the complex issues of addiction for both the addiction and care givers. Whether you are a fan of memoirs or are seeking to better understand addiction and mental health, pick up this book and be prepared to be captivated by the writing and Paul and Jessie’s story.
June 9, 2020
Please read this book and get a glimpse of the passion and courage Jessie navigated to help meet the needs of her son, Paul. You will laugh and cry reading the stories that unfold. It serves as a guide to help understand and serve those that might have differences in a respectful manner.
Nancy L.
Nancy L.
June 28, 2020
I finished reading this honest and eye opening memoir in one day. From the first chapter, the author had me wanting to know, learn, and feel more. It was written with emotion and feeling yet also candid with facts, figures and depth. The reader is taken on a journey that starts when the authors son is just a child and having a very difficult time in school. The book shows the link and the struggles with learning difficulties, drug use, and mental illness as her son, Paul, navigates life.
This is a serious subject matter yet the author managed to bring lightness and humanity to the story. There are moments you are crying along with the author and others where you are laughing as you read the well written words. It is both insightful and inspirational.
Jessie Dunleavy tells the story of her son in such a way that the reader feels the family pain and heartache yet also has the upmost compassion for Paul. Each chapter begins with poems that Paul has written. You learn about his stumbles but also about his talents and the life he tried to live. You want to change the outcome but know it has become all too familiar in today’s society.
I have recommended this book to those I know who have had similar family struggles, those that work with people who do, those that teach children, and those who are raising children. The words are beautifully written and the story will tug at your heart.
This is a serious subject matter yet the author managed to bring lightness and humanity to the story. There are moments you are crying along with the author and others where you are laughing as you read the well written words. It is both insightful and inspirational.
Jessie Dunleavy tells the story of her son in such a way that the reader feels the family pain and heartache yet also has the upmost compassion for Paul. Each chapter begins with poems that Paul has written. You learn about his stumbles but also about his talents and the life he tried to live. You want to change the outcome but know it has become all too familiar in today’s society.
I have recommended this book to those I know who have had similar family struggles, those that work with people who do, those that teach children, and those who are raising children. The words are beautifully written and the story will tug at your heart.
December 8, 2020
For anyone living in a particularly affected, Opioid abundant area within the United States there’s a high chance someone you know has been impacted by an overdose, addiction or other life altering effect of these drugs, whether that someone is a family member, classmate or friend. However, if that person isn’t in your direct influence or vicinity your only experience is from the outside looking in. You may or may not be the person there daily trying to get them into rehab, or up at night worrying they are hanging with the wrong people again or that life’s pressures are beating down on them pushing them back towards poor decisions. “Cover My Dreams in Ink” provides the most intimate glance at what this life is like. Add onto that Paul is an addict with learning struggles and mental health issues causing a trifecta of daily challenges. This memoir, published by Paul’s mother gives an inside point of view post-death, in a story unlike any other.
From the beginning, author Jessie Dunleavy chose her words carefully as she set out to tell her and her son’s story. If this precision was not immediately evident in her storyline and the details revealed, it becomes adamantly revealed in her narrative surrounding her decision to publish Paul’s poetry works at the beginning of each chapter break as she describes her struggle to determine whether to maintain Paul’s spelling and poor grammar or correct it for the sake of the reader. The lay out of this book holds similar detailed meticulousness, from placing a girlfriend’s Facebook tribute within the chapter their story plays out rather than in the post-mortem chapter to ease the flow of the story, to the timing of his moves and prison sentences each memory and event is thoughtfully introduced and delicately placed within this memoir. The literary voice the author portrays within this debut writing are just another notable and astonishing feat, it is clear Paul’s way with words and talent came from his mother based on her skill and language she uses throughout this retelling of his life.
The emotions felt within this book were abundant. Sadness as Paul’s clearly evident talents sought means to escape his mind in ways his hands and body couldn’t allow. Awe at his talent for composing poems, so beautifully disbursed throughout this book. Pain for the suffering of all who loved him felt. Anger at the bad influences in his life and his own father’s distance. Empathy for his mother who had more patience and resilience than anyone I’ve ever met. And frustration at the system of both healthcare and justice.
“Cover My Dreams in Ink” hit every note. I thought having lost my own friends to their addiction battles I would be prepared for this read, but I realized my own losses were so far outside the family’s scope that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend their struggles, successes and setbacks. This book gives readers a powerful understanding of just one family, one mother’s experience, albeit an eye-opening and emotional one at that. Well written, well executed and ultimately one that ended too soon. This book is one that will stay with me well past the closing of the final page.
From the beginning, author Jessie Dunleavy chose her words carefully as she set out to tell her and her son’s story. If this precision was not immediately evident in her storyline and the details revealed, it becomes adamantly revealed in her narrative surrounding her decision to publish Paul’s poetry works at the beginning of each chapter break as she describes her struggle to determine whether to maintain Paul’s spelling and poor grammar or correct it for the sake of the reader. The lay out of this book holds similar detailed meticulousness, from placing a girlfriend’s Facebook tribute within the chapter their story plays out rather than in the post-mortem chapter to ease the flow of the story, to the timing of his moves and prison sentences each memory and event is thoughtfully introduced and delicately placed within this memoir. The literary voice the author portrays within this debut writing are just another notable and astonishing feat, it is clear Paul’s way with words and talent came from his mother based on her skill and language she uses throughout this retelling of his life.
The emotions felt within this book were abundant. Sadness as Paul’s clearly evident talents sought means to escape his mind in ways his hands and body couldn’t allow. Awe at his talent for composing poems, so beautifully disbursed throughout this book. Pain for the suffering of all who loved him felt. Anger at the bad influences in his life and his own father’s distance. Empathy for his mother who had more patience and resilience than anyone I’ve ever met. And frustration at the system of both healthcare and justice.
“Cover My Dreams in Ink” hit every note. I thought having lost my own friends to their addiction battles I would be prepared for this read, but I realized my own losses were so far outside the family’s scope that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend their struggles, successes and setbacks. This book gives readers a powerful understanding of just one family, one mother’s experience, albeit an eye-opening and emotional one at that. Well written, well executed and ultimately one that ended too soon. This book is one that will stay with me well past the closing of the final page.
January 2, 2021
For anyone living in a particularly affected, opioid abundant area within the United States, there’s a high chance someone you know has been impacted by an overdose, addiction or other life altering effect of these drugs, whether that someone is a family member, classmate, or friend. However, if that person isn’t in your direct influence or vicinity your only experience is from the outside looking in. You may or may not be the person there daily trying to get them into rehab, or up at night worrying they are hanging with the wrong people again or that life’s pressures are beating down on them pushing them back towards poor decisions. “Cover My Dreams in Ink” provides the most intimate glance at what this life is like. Add onto that, Paul is an addict with learning struggles and mental health issues causing a trifecta of daily challenges. This memoir, published by Paul’s mother gives an inside point of view post-death, in a story unlike any other.
From the beginning, author Jessie Dunleavy chose her words carefully as she set out to tell her and her son’s story. If this precision was not immediately evident in her storyline and the details, it becomes adamantly revealed in her narrative surrounding her decision to publish Paul’s poetry works at the beginning of each chapter break as she describes her struggle to determine whether to maintain Paul’s spelling and poor grammar or correct it for the sake of the reader. The layout of this book holds similar detailed meticulousness, from placing a girlfriend’s Facebook tribute within the chapter their story plays out rather than in the post-mortem chapter, to ease the flow of the story, to the timing of his moves and prison sentences each memory and event is thoughtfully introduced and delicately placed within this memoir. The literary voice the author portrays within this debut writing are just another notable and astonishing feat, it is clear Paul’s way with words and talent came from his mother based on her skill and language she uses throughout this retelling of his life.
The emotions felt within this book were abundant. Sadness as Paul’s clearly evident talents sought means to escape his mind in ways his hands and body couldn’t allow. Awe at his talent for composing poems, so beautifully disbursed throughout this book. Pain for the suffering of all who loved him felt. Anger at the bad influences in his life and his own father’s distance. Empathy for his mother who had more patience and resilience than anyone I’ve ever met. And frustration at the systems of both healthcare and justice.
“Cover My Dreams in Ink” hit every note. I thought having lost my own friends to their addiction battles I would be prepared for this read, but I realized my own losses were so far outside the family’s scope that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend their struggles, successes, and setbacks. This book gives readers a powerful understanding of just one family, one mother’s experience, albeit an eye-opening and emotional one at that. Well written, well executed and ultimately one that ended too soon. This book is one that will stay with me well past the closing of the final page.
From the beginning, author Jessie Dunleavy chose her words carefully as she set out to tell her and her son’s story. If this precision was not immediately evident in her storyline and the details, it becomes adamantly revealed in her narrative surrounding her decision to publish Paul’s poetry works at the beginning of each chapter break as she describes her struggle to determine whether to maintain Paul’s spelling and poor grammar or correct it for the sake of the reader. The layout of this book holds similar detailed meticulousness, from placing a girlfriend’s Facebook tribute within the chapter their story plays out rather than in the post-mortem chapter, to ease the flow of the story, to the timing of his moves and prison sentences each memory and event is thoughtfully introduced and delicately placed within this memoir. The literary voice the author portrays within this debut writing are just another notable and astonishing feat, it is clear Paul’s way with words and talent came from his mother based on her skill and language she uses throughout this retelling of his life.
The emotions felt within this book were abundant. Sadness as Paul’s clearly evident talents sought means to escape his mind in ways his hands and body couldn’t allow. Awe at his talent for composing poems, so beautifully disbursed throughout this book. Pain for the suffering of all who loved him felt. Anger at the bad influences in his life and his own father’s distance. Empathy for his mother who had more patience and resilience than anyone I’ve ever met. And frustration at the systems of both healthcare and justice.
“Cover My Dreams in Ink” hit every note. I thought having lost my own friends to their addiction battles I would be prepared for this read, but I realized my own losses were so far outside the family’s scope that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend their struggles, successes, and setbacks. This book gives readers a powerful understanding of just one family, one mother’s experience, albeit an eye-opening and emotional one at that. Well written, well executed and ultimately one that ended too soon. This book is one that will stay with me well past the closing of the final page.
October 22, 2020
Jessie Dunleavy is incredibly courageous and abundantly talented. I was spellbound from the moment I began to read, taking a journey not only into the mind of a boy who wanted nothing more than to be "normal", but also gaining insight into the mother who desperately and tirelessly worked toward the same goal. She begins each chapter with one of Paul’s insightful poems that are, in and of themselves, enough reason to deem this book a keeper as well as a future stand alone book. My emotions ran the gamut from heartache to joy, empathy to outrage, acceptance and rejection, and everything in between. The writing is superb coupled with an innate ability to capture your attention and carry you through her journey. For those reasons alone, this is a "must read". We also owe it to ourselves to understand, as a society with a rising addiction epidemic, Jesse's valuable insight into the woefully inadequate options for help available to the general public. She is brutally honest about her own strengths, and weaknesses, as she navigates a broken system. Most of all, she paints a picture of her son that allows her readers to feel as if they intimately know the boy who is bright, sensitive beyond words, creative, talented, caring, loving, charismatic and yet incapable of thriving in society as most of us know it. You will cry, you will laugh, you will be happy, and at times, very angry. This book not only changed the way I view those who struggle on the fringes of society, and the people that love them but also opened my eyes to the many ways the system is failing the more vulnerable among us, and it instilled within me an advocacy for change. I look forward to her future writings.
April 24, 2025
I had to let several days go by before I could solidify all the things I loved about this book. First, Jessie writes beautifully and with such honesty and fairness as she sorts through her lifetime of living and struggles with a son with unique strengths and shattering disabilities. Her prose is clear and compelling, both in the warmth for her friends and family, and her frustrations with bureaucracies and laws created that weigh down recovery rather than assist. Second, though, is she has revealed why we should treat others without judgment and with kindness not knowing what struggles they may be facing. I learned more about kindness and strength and forgiveness in her story than perhaps any other book or experience. Thank you, Jessie, for the painful, and hopefully healing, journey you shared with us. I can’t wait to read your next book!
July 18, 2021
As the parent of an adult son who struggles with his mental health and addiction, I connected with this story right away, before even reading the first chapter. It is real, it is raw, it is vulnerable and challenging, and uplifting, and sad. And it is the reality of far more people then many understand. This book encouraged and convicted me. Whether you have experience in this area or not, I highly recommend reading this book.
March 10, 2021
Eye-opening
I must admit that I struggle to write a review. I cannot relate to the author or her struggle with dealing with a system who could not help a person who really needed it. This is not a very good review, so I will just say we all should read this book.
I must admit that I struggle to write a review. I cannot relate to the author or her struggle with dealing with a system who could not help a person who really needed it. This is not a very good review, so I will just say we all should read this book.
November 4, 2020
Genuine. Impactful. Heartbreaking. I could hear the author's authentic voice throughout the story. This eye opening memoir gave me a new perspective. I am grateful Paul's story will live on. I highly recommend this book!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews