Good Grief: Living with Sorrow and Loss

by Malcolm Duncan

"Good Grief will bring hope to those who feel, that because of the sheer pain of their loss, there could never be another tomorrow worth living." —Rob Parsons OBE, Chairman and Founder, Care for the Family

We all walk through grief and loss. It comes in many shapes and forms.

As a husband, father, son and a pastor, for the past thirty-four years, Malcolm Duncan has experienced loss in many forms. Duncan has seen grief destroy some people, and his own experience of loss and grief came close to destroying him. Yet God has carried him through.

In this intensely personal journal, Duncan guides the reader through grief and loss, examining how it changes us, and affirms that God is with us every step of the way. Intimate and well-grounded in scripture, Malcolm Duncan shows us that no matter how dark it gets, the light of His grace will always be there.

333 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 20, 2020

Reviews

[library lola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last year my 5 yo daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia. This has plunged our family of 7 (my husband, myself, and our five kids) into various stages of grief as she began the 2 1/2 year chemo treatment. I became very involved in the Pediatric Cancer community in my area and have relationships with moms of cancer kids who are fighting, are in remission, and who have lost their battle. This has forced me to examine grief and trauma in myself, my family, and in others. And the harsh truth is that our culture gives us no guidelines on how to grieve and on how to support those who are grieving. We need more knowledge on how to experience loss and suffering and sorrow.

This book focuses on grief in general, but with a heavy emphasis on coping with the illness and death of a loved one. The author is a Christian Pastor who not has dealt with deaths within his own loved ones and also helps his church navigate those losses as well, as their leader.

I am not a particularly religious person. A lot of this book relayed biblical stories to how we can better process grief. I didn't find this off-putting at all, but it should be noted that that is a large part of the book. Regardless of my personal connection with the Bible stories being less than another reader's might be, this book had a profound effect on me and my knowledge of processing grief. The author writes beautifully and gave voice to many symptoms of loss and grief that I have experienced, but thought I was alone in.

This book would be an amazing gift for a Christian friend who has dealt with a recent loss. It provides incite, a road map for dealing with grief, and extremely helpful information on how to nurture others in their losses as well. I cannot recommend it enough!

Thanks to Netgalley for an advanced digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

[Samuel Cowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

On Mother’s Day, the 22nd march 2020 I lost my own Father. So I am not sure if in reading Good Grief, so soon may have been a wise decision but I was blest in what I read.
As one in full-time ministry as well I was able to walk side by side with Malcom and his feeling as he shared what it was like as a Pastor and family member grieving a loved one. So often it is hard for us in ministry to continue to wear our “professional” face and ministry to our own families as well. I have been there as well and like Malcolm, it has been the whisper in the ear from a family member, “you’ll get through this” that has helped us get through without breaking down in front of our loved ones.
Good Grief is a very personal walk through grief and we the readers are privileged to have been allowed to walk with Malcolm on his journey. Thank you Malcolm for being so willing to be vulnerable and open to us, not only as a Pastor, but as a son, brother and brother-in-law all of which we can relate to.
The reader should be aware that you will ride the roller-coaster of death and grief and on many occasions I had teas in my eyes or had to go to bed as what I read brought back memories of my own Father or how I felt.
Each chapter is laced with true stories and thank you to those families that allowed Malcolm to use their time of grief to help others. The chapters end around the Word of God. The last number of chapters where very challenging as Malcolm leads us through the lessons he learnt from John 11 and from Lazarus’ death and resurrection and how these apply to each or us.
Good Grief is a book many in ministry I believe should have in ministry and it is also a book you could pass on to others who are grieving or struggling with their grief. I know that I for one will be returning to it time and time again as I continue my own journey of grief and healing.

[Helen Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered this immediately after losing my Daddy and its taken me over a year to read. I've read it in fits and starts as for many months at a time it's been just too painful. Of all the books in the marketplace about grief I wanted one that could really help, I guess in a way I wanted something, anything to take the pain away. Of course no book, however brilliant, can take the pain away of losing someone so very dear. I plumped for this one as not only was it a "Christian" book I've heard Pastor Malcom talk on many occasions through Spring Harvest. The book has helped no end, and now I've made my way through it cover to cover I'm sure I'll return to it on many occasions. Revd Duncan has been through unimaginable grief and yet is still standing. Through this book he shares his stories, his experiences, his thoughts, his journal, his real emotions, and his life. As tough and lonely as the grief journey is, this book (and the story of Lazarus and Jesus Himself) reminds us though that life is stronger than death. Death does not win.

[Ann Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read; well written and extensively annotated (if you are a reader who also reads the footnotes - I am), which lends the text a credible air. I'm not sure I got exactly what I was looking to find from this book - my young daughter died only 10 months ago - but there were lots of parts that resonated with me. There is a strong religious undertone, but as I am a Christian, I found that comforting.

[Eric Gaudion · Rating 5 out of 5]

A superb resource for pastors, leaders and other professionals engaged in coping with grief as part of their ministry. This book also offers great help and comfort for those passing through the dark valley of grief and bereavement themselves.

[Leroy Zumack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow I can’t say enough how helpful this book was to me. He analyzes grief through his humanity and the lens of the Bible. His analysis of the gospel of John 11 the resuscitation of Lazarus is outstanding. If you are in grief read it sometime.

[Fernanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve just finished chapter 4. I struggle with details about the emotions sometimes but I am learning a lot and being challenged by this book. It’s so honest, vulnerable and well written. Really helpful.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wise, gentle and full of compassion, I loved this look at grief and how the christian faith doesn't banish grief - but does explain it and enable the grieving to love even when the person they love has died. Rich in theology and great writing.