Upon This Pale Hill

by Patrick Ashe

A brooding young professional seeking to do good in the world must first face the world’s demons . . . and his own. He will face them all UPON THIS PALE HILL. Brandon is an upcoming 2011 college graduate whose insecure idealism masks a horrible subconscious secret. While his body and mind reel from this elusive evil, he finds solace in the antics of his wild yet wise friend Germy and companionships with his old flame Marianne, kindred soul Janelle, and unreal Aisling. Resolute to not give in to his suburban angst, Brandon seeks to "do good" with a career in social service. On this ideological journey, he explores differing sociopolitical viewpoints, each with believers and deceivers. But when his career turns unexpectedly successful, Brandon's goodwill begins to corrupt. Inner demons threaten himself and his true friends. This culminates in a confrontation with a lucid nightmare adversary who forces Brandon to face the horrors of his past . . . and decide how good he truly is. Themes: coming-of-age, existentialism, rock music, social media, college, spirituality, supernatural, political ideology, nonprofits, millennials, idealism, economics, abuse survival, psychological, healthcare, Mideast wars, social critique.

309 pages, Paperback

Published April 15, 2020

About the author

Conveying deeper thoughts and honest feelings via engaging stories and lyricism is more important to me than following genres or trends. My main literary inspirations are Leonard Cohen, Tim O'Brien, and Cormac McCarthy. In the rock world, it's Roger Waters of Pink Floyd and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. I tend toward their themes and styles, albeit as an elder millennial. My books have unifying themes around existentialism, the supernatural, grief, music, economic populism, subverting sociopolitical paradigms, and opposing authoritarianism. I've long worked as a data analyst in nonprofits, and the curious yet unenviable nature of making a difference by evidence cuts across my books.

Reviews

[J.D. Kenyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've ever been told to stop acting weird, or asked why you don't smile all the time, you'll find yourself in Upon This Pale Hill. The main character is constantly trying to fit into a world that has no room for anyone outside the norm and questioning the validity of the established systems of society only gets him more trouble. The whole story is horrifyingly relatable and the journey is something that will hurt, but with an odd sense of relief by the end. It's not quite an absurdist novel like The Stranger and not quite the dark philosophical satire of Notes From Underground, but it certainly has elements of both. If you like existential novels you'll probably like this one.

[Mary Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Upon This Pale Hill is a wonderful debut novel about a complicated young man dealing with his own demons while trying to figure out what it means to do good in the real world. The descriptive language is Dickensian in its density, and for me (like Dickens) a little difficult to plow through at first. While the story started slowly, by the end it races and I couldn’t put it down! Having an understanding of economics, philosophy and rock music would make for deeper enjoyment but the story resonates even if the reader doesn’t.

[Becca Brado · Rating 4 out of 5]

This nonprofit nerd could relate to Brandon's desire to "do good" and challenges in finding the right professional fit. I also know what it's like for family/friends/advisers to not understand my commitment to the nonprofit sector when I could make more money elsewhere. Although I've never been asked to intentionally alter impact reports, I know there are entities out there that operate in shady or ineffective ways yet continue to pursue funding.
I wasn't entirely clear on who/what the Morning Star was at first but it became clearer as the story progressed. I think the author's intent was to allow for reader's interpretation. I think the same held true for Aisling.
This novel gives readers an inside look into the world of a tortured soul who's trying to find kindred spirits and his place in the world, yet running into dead ends on both fronts. There's also a lovely bit of human connection as Brandon overcomes a phobia to show up in a redemptive fashion for a friend in need.
And tucked away towards the end the author reveals one of the primary reasons Brandon developed into the person he did, and many of the pieces fall into place.
All in all, Upon This Pale Hill is a good read, especially for those of us who have "lived in our heads" and/or felt like outcasts.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this story starts slow, as the tension builds for our main character, so does the speed of the plot. Some unexpected twists and turns are definitely worth reading to the end. Brandon wants desperately to do good, and be understood by someone, anyone, as he graduates college and tries to find his way through adulthood. Brandon’s desires and emotions are very visceral and brought to life through Ashe’s prose. The book is also highly visual and there are lots of breadcrumbs for music lovers and pop culture junkies of a certain era. Overall a solid debut novel. Hope to read more from Ashe in the future.