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If I Tell You the Truth

Jasmin Kaur

4.61 · Rating details · 36 ratings · 20 reviews

Told in prose, poetry, and illustration, this heartrending story weaves Kiran’s and Sahaara’s timelines together, showing a teenage Kiran and, later, her high school–aged daughter, Sahaara.

Kiran is a young Punjabi Sikh woman who becomes pregnant after being sexually assaulted by her fiancé’s brother. When her fiancé and family don’t believe her, she flees her home in India ...more

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Hardcover, 464 pages

Expected publication: January 19th 2021 by HarperCollins

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Jan 25, 2020 Sara Jovanovic marked it as to-read · review of another edition

2021 why?? 😭

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Aug 25, 2020 Teenage Reads rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Teenage Girls

Shelves: advance-copy, 2020

Plot:
*Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety*

Kiran came to Canada to major in biology at Simon Fraser University. As an immigrant from Punjab, Kiran realized that British Columbia is a lot different than her hometown, but at the university orientation, she met Joti, another Punjab immigrant that has been living in Canada for a while and took Kiran under her wing. Kiran had high expectations of her t Plot:
*Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, police brutality, immigrant trauma, victim-blaming, domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety*

Kiran came to Canada to major in biology at Simon Fraser University. As an immigrant from Punjab, Kiran realized that British Columbia is a lot different than her hometown, but at the university orientation, she met Joti, another Punjab immigrant that has been living in Canada for a while and took Kiran under her wing. Kiran had high expectations of her to do well in her major and then to come back and marry the man her mother wanted because he was from a “good family” one that would not embarrass her. To Kiran, her mother was always harsh and controlling, someone to obey and not to oppose. This is why Kiran chose to call her mother from Canada about the fact that she did not fly to Canada alone. Inside her stomach was a baby girl, soon to be named Sahaara, and Kiran was not going to get rid of. After her mother flew back to Canada, for Kiran’s birthday, and try to set up the abortion appointments herself, Kiran stood her ground, saying that she will have her child. Getting disowned by her parents, kicked out of her uncle and aunt’s house, Kiran moved in with Joti and her mother, to continue going to school for her visa, and raise Sahaara. When the university kicked Kiran out, because she could no longer keep up the course load along with working and raising her daughter, Kiran’s visa expired, leaving her in Canada with no papers. Not leaving her Canadian daughter, Kiran stayed, taking any job that would not ask for her papers, raising her daughter, and fearing the police. Sahaara grew up, forming a close friendship with her neighbor Jeevan, went to school, fell in love, graduated, went to college while living with her mother and her mother’s chosen family. Kiran never talked about Saaharra’s father, and it was not till Sahaara was older was when Kiran finally told her why. Her father was a powerful man in Punjab, one that abused his position of power and raped Kiran. The result of that abuse was Sahaara. Urging her mother to tell her story, about the rape, about being undocumented in Canada, about how when they fight she cannot look at her daughter without seeing him. Trading perspectives of Sahaara and Kiran, starting in August of 2001 and ending in June 2021, is the story of Kiran’s fight to stay in Canada, and Sahaara’s upbringing and trying to discover herself.

Thoughts:
Jasmin Kaur takes you on the emotional story of Kiran and her daughter Sahaara, on this twenty-year journey across the countries of Canada and India. This review is hard to write as there is so much depth in this novel, that I am surprised that Kaur did not go into thousands of pages, but kept it at a long novel of over four hundred pages. Kaur writes from the perspective of Kiran and Sahaara, mainly from Kiran at the beginning of the novel, and then switches to Sahaara’s when she is about ten and for the remainder of the novel. The trigger warnings at the start of the novel (and at the start of my review) are no joke, as Kaur takes you on the emotional journey of these two women. From the start where Joti tells Kiran that “Freshe” means fresh off the boat for immigrants, to the people in power trying to take advantage of Kiran as she tries to find a way to stay in Canada with her daughter. Her fear of being deported is etched into Sahaara’s life, of her mother fidgeting when cops are nearby, and her not being able to drive because she does not have her license. Yet, Kaur writes to Saharra to see her mother as strong, determined, yet full of fear and anxiety towards her daughter, and depression for what she has endured in the past. The ending, where accurate for many cases, is still heart wrenching, making this novel more realistic than the fiction it is meant to be. Written between chapters is poetry that is meant to be taken from the point of view of Kiran and Sahaara, reflective of what is going on in their lives, which is a beautiful edition and truly makes the book flow more powerful. The part that got me the most was Sahaara realizing whenever she and her mother fought, the reason why her mother could not look at her was that she saw her rapist in Sahaara’s features, even though she loved her daughter with all her heart. Truly an emotional novel, one that will capture your hearts for this mother-daughter pair that spans over two decades of their lives and a must-read for anyone who wants to shed some tears out of love. ...more

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Aug 31, 2020 Anne Roberts Cass rated it really liked it · review of another edition

The mix of poetry, illustrations, and story telling in this novel is flawless. When I requested it, I didnt expect it to be so long, and yet I turned the final page hoping for more.

The author beautifully seamed this collection of mixed media into a story that will rip your heart out repeatedly, and yet leave you feeling.. full.

The mother/daughter dynamic of Sahaara and Kiran was truly authentic, I appreciated how similar they both were while not being a mirrored image of the other. They felt r ...more

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Jan 06, 2021 Pine Reads Review added it

Shelves: young-adult

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Releasing on January 19th of this year, Jasmin Kaur’s forthcoming YA novel, If I Tell You the Truth, explores difficult topics such as immigration and sexual assault. Through a mix of poetry and prose, Kaur introduces us to Kiran, who has just moved from Punjab to Canada to attend university. After arriving in Canada, Kiran confesses to her mother that she is pregnant and was sexually assaulted by her fiancé’s brother. Her mother refuses to accept this traumatic reality for fear of the shame her Releasing on January 19th of this year, Jasmin Kaur’s forthcoming YA novel, If I Tell You the Truth, explores difficult topics such as immigration and sexual assault. Through a mix of poetry and prose, Kaur introduces us to Kiran, who has just moved from Punjab to Canada to attend university. After arriving in Canada, Kiran confesses to her mother that she is pregnant and was sexually assaulted by her fiancé’s brother. Her mother refuses to accept this traumatic reality for fear of the shame her family would have to endure. So when Kiran makes the decision to raise her child on her own, her family offers no support, but she finds a new home when Joti and her mother come into her life.

Readers follow Kiran as she navigates her life as a new mother while trying to balance school and work. With her student visa expiring since she had to drop out of school, Kiran now must live with the constant fear of being deported and separated from her daughter, Sahaara. The narration later changes to Sahaara, who is now a teenager in high school as we witness her experience as an undocumented immigrant’s child confronting love, heartbreak, and the truth about why her mother left Punjab.

Even though Kiran is able to become a permanent Canadian resident, the process isn’t always as easy as it seems, which is addressed in the novel’s notes at the end. Oftentimes, immigrants wait months or years to receive approval. Others never seek help to adjust their status because they fear being separated from their loved ones and sent back to the life they left behind. Kiran’s story is one of many unfortunate stories that we hear or read about from all around the world. I appreciate that Kaur doesn’t merely gloss over these important topics; instead, her novel shows readers that, even when not everyone’s experiences are the same, they are equally important and deserve to be taken seriously.

If I Tell You the Truth is an empowering story that encourages women to share their stories and support one another. Both the poetry and prose work together to provide the reader a deeper look into Kiran and Sahaara’s thoughts and feelings. I enjoyed reading from these alternating character perspectives because it offers a better understanding of the love a mother and daughter share, and how one issue impacts both their lives. I never expected Kiran and Sahaara to confront Kiran’s rapist, who is a respected and well-known politician in Punjab. However, it is important to show that men in positions of power, who often use their power against women, should be held accountable for their horrific acts. I liked that the novel proves that a woman’s life isn’t, and shouldn’t, be defined by the actions of men.

Overall, If I Tell You the Truth highlights the strength and perseverance women possess despite the tragedies and obstacles they face. Hopefully, this novel will open the eyes of many in a crucial first step toward change. Perhaps one day our world will be a place where women and girls are respected, and those who commit horrific acts against them will be held accountable.

Content Warning: sexual assault

(Pine Reads Review would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for sending us an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes are taken from an advanced copy and may be subject to change upon final publication.)

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @pinereadsreview and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more! ...more

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Oct 12, 2020 Heather Jennings rated it it was amazing

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC of this book.

I appreciate those times when I simply cannot put a book down and when I reach the end of the book, I wish I knew what happened next in the lives of the characters. This book provided that experience.

This is the story of family, both biological and chosen. The plot spans 20 years in the lives of a Punjabi mother who relocates to Canada, pregnant as the result of an act of violence. She spends years undocumented while her daughter grows up keeping secr ...more

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Dec 12, 2020 Krys rated it it was amazing

If I Tell You the Truth by Jasmin Kaur is a powerful, heart wrenching, and all consuming story told in prose, poetry, and illustration.
Kiran flees her home to attend school in Canada followed by trauma. When she attempts to tell her mom about what happened to her, and the results, a pregnancy, she’s rebuffed and decides to take matters into her own hands. She denies her mother’s wishes, an abortion, and with the help of a friend and her friend’s mother raises her daughter in Canada. Over staying If I Tell You the Truth by Jasmin Kaur is a powerful, heart wrenching, and all consuming story told in prose, poetry, and illustration.
Kiran flees her home to attend school in Canada followed by trauma. When she attempts to tell her mom about what happened to her, and the results, a pregnancy, she’s rebuffed and decides to take matters into her own hands. She denies her mother’s wishes, an abortion, and with the help of a friend and her friend’s mother raises her daughter in Canada. Over staying her student visa though puts Kiran in a tough position in life but she’ll do anything to give her daughter the best life she can.
***
Kiran is a woman of deep secrets and so much strength, she endures a lot on the hope that if she can last until her daughter, Sahaara, is 18 she can sponsor her citizenship. Kiran has little trust or love for authority considering how often it has been used against her which makes it hard for her to seek other options, but her endurance is admirable and also so incredibly sad.
The love of mother and daughter, and the strength of found family is amazing in this story. Kiran and Sahaara wouldn’t be who they are without Joti and her mother taking them in and loving them. Through their ups and downs they always had each other’s backs, and loved one another. Always.
Kiran has been running from something for 20 years, you have an idea of it but when the story comes pouring out it’s gut wrenching. The secrets she’s kept, hidden deep inside without anyone to help her carry the load, to give her some peace, just so much ouch. When her story becomes public she endures even more and Jasmin Kaur does a great job reflecting exactly how humans react to public things on the internet.
I love this story for its fierceness and for its voice.
I’m not always a big reader of contemporary but I can’t recommend this story enough.
It’s rough. It’s emotional. It’s empowering, learning more and becoming more aware.
***
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher I was able to read this book in exchange for an honest review. ...more

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Aug 09, 2020 Dipali rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs, feminist

** A copy of If I Tell You the Truth was provided by the publisher and Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review **

Oh my gosh! This is so so sooooo good. It is beautifully written and oh-so powerful. And that cover - can't wait to get my hands on a hardback so it matches with the first. I think I highlighted at least half the book and will definitely keep coming back to some of the poetry. I didn't think it was possible but I honestly think this is better than Jasmin's debut. I can't wait to s ...more

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Nov 26, 2020 Sarah Hanson rated it really liked it

Kaur’s writing is always beautiful and powerful, but the struggles faced throughout this story are very often faced today. The bond of a mother and daughter wavering, the need to push past trauma and be able to communicate where love pushes past fear and anger; the terror of being an undocumented immigrant; knowing how to be an ally of those affected by sexual violence instead of “telling them what best actions are”. The only downside was that the beauty of mixing poetry and chapters together se ...more

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Aug 23, 2020 Gina Malanga rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This beautiful book crosses cultures, continents and decades through poetry, narrative and even drawings. Koran goes to Canada from Punjab to study but the baby in her belly has other plans. Her daughter, conceived in the worst way possible, is the light of her life but without proper papers their life hangs in a delicate balance. This book definitely covers some triggering topics such as rape, sexual harassment, undocumented individuals and mental health but handles them so beautifully and with ...more

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Jan 10, 2021 (Mellifluous Grant) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: tbr-2020, jasmin-kaur

Thank you another wonderful book.

🙌💙🙌

How Do You Know It’s Real?

does it count if the sparks are different?

if there’s still a ghost of another boy somewhere within you made only of apricot-sweet memories pink juicy no sign of the bruising or the rot?

does it count if you want his lips just like you want to escape from your own flesh?

if his mouth makes you forget yourself and this is how you manage to breathe?

is it love if it makes you feel something just when you thought you’d always be numb?

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Jan 05, 2021 Chrystal rated it liked it

Thank you to NetGalley for the chance to read this in exchange for an honest review. This story was a unique story in its own respect, mixed with a variety of writing styles. The poetry intermingled throughout gave the story an emotional vibration that really fit well with the tone of this devastating story. For me, the story was almost just too heavy. I didn’t read the rape trigger warnings ahead of time and I really should have. I think people who enjoy reading really serious, heavy, and tragi ...more

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Oct 17, 2020 Kathleen rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This book was absolutely phenomenal and so powerful. I read this as an ARC but I would love to have a physical copy of this book. The author beautifully blends together an important tale about sexual violence, undocumented immigrants, and politics. The story felt real and there were many powerful quotes. I liked the use of narrative, poems, and artwork to tell the story. I also learned a lot about another culture that I was not familiar with. I highly recommend this book.

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Nov 18, 2020 Tina Athaide rated it it was amazing

In this collection of prose, illustrations, and story telling, Jasmin Kaur has written a beautiful story that will capture your heart and not let go until that last page is turned. This powerful story dives into difficult issues like rape, undocumented immigrants, identity, acceptance, and family as readers follow Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara, on a twenty-year journey across Canada and India. I would buy this book for classrooms and libraries and make sure it is flagged with a warning about t ...more

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Aug 17, 2020 Kirandeep Dhaliwal rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I am over the moon excited for Jasmin Kaurs second book. Jasmin is an incredibly talented writer who forces you to become an active reader, braiding you into her story. Characters are unforgettable and this journey is heart wrenching. If this is anything like her new book it’s already a winner m💛💛

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Aug 07, 2020 Patti Sabik rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: verse-novel, ya

Powerful and important, this book is a very readable and relatable account of victims of sexual abuse, undocumented immigrants, and finding a voice. Alternating between prose and verse, the reader gains the perspectives of both mother and daughter over a 20 year span. Very well done.

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Aug 07, 2020 ♡ jules ♡ marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Shelves: 2021-release, new-to-me-author, contemporary, less-than-500-pages, poetry, young-adult, zzz-low-priority

ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley.

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Aug 09, 2020 eisha rated it it was amazing

Immediately hooked from the beginning. Absolutely stunning sophomore novel. ♡

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Sep 29, 2020 Lonna Pierce rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Review to follow in Library Media Connection.

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Jun 22, 2020 Maya Chhabra marked it as to-read · review of another edition

yes yes a Sikh YA! and wow the plot sounds intense and amazing.

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About Jasmin Kaur

Jasmin Kaur

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Jasmin Kaur is a writer, illustrator and spoken word artiste living in Vancouver, BC. Her writing, which explores feminism, social empowerment, love and survival, acts as a means of healing and reclaiming identity. As an arts facilitator and fourth-grade teacher, Jasmin has been leading creative-writing workshops for young people across North America, the UK, and Australia over the past five years ...more