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PINK POISON
Brisking into the morning sunlight, I'm awaiting the dawn, what it holds. Has to offer for me. This repetitive motion followed by an elongation of self-inflicted torture that lasts for hours at a time continues into my early 20's waiting for that moment of redemption. I am who I am. This is me. Hatred masks over my eyelids as I stare in the mirror, disappointed again, no one to blame but myself. I grab every inch of unwanted mass that sits there on my body, laughing at me straight in the face telling me that I have lost, that there is no winning in this game.
I can feel it in my bones, the weakening feeling that engulfs my limbs as I try to raise them up and down. It feels off to move my body parts. I feel dead as if the gravitational pull of the earth is asking for me to burry in its dirt. To consume another recycled soul into the ground awaiting decomposing bodies to turn into its soil once again. They put pretty girls in little boxes, right?
This is my personal journey with having an eating disorder. It's written from my raw perspective. WARNING could be triggering.
I can feel it in my bones, the weakening feeling that engulfs my limbs as I try to raise them up and down. It feels off to move my body parts. I feel dead as if the gravitational pull of the earth is asking for me to burry in its dirt. To consume another recycled soul into the ground awaiting decomposing bodies to turn into its soil once again. They put pretty girls in little boxes, right?
This is my personal journey with having an eating disorder. It's written from my raw perspective. WARNING could be triggering.
192 pages, Paperback
Published October 7, 2019
52 people are currently reading
21 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
February 15, 2021
Needs Editing, Direction, Etc
Bad mixed tenses, homonyms ("The door creeks open"; "The steaks were never higher") used in several places, so many other similar issues that should have been sorted in editing. A character's name changes halfway through his appearance, some things get far more description than necessary while other things that are somewhat poorly explained could use more. It's a quick read, which is merciful for someone like me who is compelled to finish any book she starts but who also has a hard time with the structural and most basic grammar and spelling issues. I wanted to copy and paste it into a word processing program and edit it as I read.
Insofar as the story goes, well, it's hard to say that it goes anywhere at all. It starts in a seemingly arbitrary place, ends likewise, and the reasons for some events' inclusion over others is mysterious. There are warnings to readers about not making the same choices ('Don't become anorexic, but definitely don't become anorexic and purge!' she warns, 'and if you have other health problems, don't do it!' while also repeatedly saying 'it's not a choice, no one would choose this!') and it ends at a place that seems to suggest she's learned something, while saying essentially 'I am still very unhappy' and includes photos that by no means represent a healthy thought process--obvious body checks, pictures that were cleael0llly chosen to show 'See? See how very skinny I was and am? I really am anorexic, i'm not kidding!"--and still harps a little on the feigned intent of the book, 'Don't follow me where I go, but if you do here are some tips."
It was disappointing and, as I said already, it needs a good team to sit down and do the massive editing. That alone would make it far more enjoyable.
Bad mixed tenses, homonyms ("The door creeks open"; "The steaks were never higher") used in several places, so many other similar issues that should have been sorted in editing. A character's name changes halfway through his appearance, some things get far more description than necessary while other things that are somewhat poorly explained could use more. It's a quick read, which is merciful for someone like me who is compelled to finish any book she starts but who also has a hard time with the structural and most basic grammar and spelling issues. I wanted to copy and paste it into a word processing program and edit it as I read.
Insofar as the story goes, well, it's hard to say that it goes anywhere at all. It starts in a seemingly arbitrary place, ends likewise, and the reasons for some events' inclusion over others is mysterious. There are warnings to readers about not making the same choices ('Don't become anorexic, but definitely don't become anorexic and purge!' she warns, 'and if you have other health problems, don't do it!' while also repeatedly saying 'it's not a choice, no one would choose this!') and it ends at a place that seems to suggest she's learned something, while saying essentially 'I am still very unhappy' and includes photos that by no means represent a healthy thought process--obvious body checks, pictures that were cleael0llly chosen to show 'See? See how very skinny I was and am? I really am anorexic, i'm not kidding!"--and still harps a little on the feigned intent of the book, 'Don't follow me where I go, but if you do here are some tips."
It was disappointing and, as I said already, it needs a good team to sit down and do the massive editing. That alone would make it far more enjoyable.
November 28, 2022
A realistic insight to inpatient treatment and how it really works.
I've read far to many books where inpatient treatment comes across as a cure all, a life changing experience where a magic switch goes off and they life happily ever after This is a realistic view of how it really is. Picking up cheats from other patients and giving the teams what they want sonyoubcan get out and back to how you really want to be. The lack of funding but eternal cost of stays and doctors who really just work there for a paycheck and not to actually help. I donwish there had been a better ending for the author but her honesty makes it real, and for that I applaud this memoir.
A little bit hap hazard at times (understandable because daysbreally to seem to mention into each other in treatment, but can be hard to follow ifbyoubdont understand 1st hand the inner workings of the 'system')
Worth a read if you have an hour or 2 to spare from start to finish. Glad I came across it and read it.
I've read far to many books where inpatient treatment comes across as a cure all, a life changing experience where a magic switch goes off and they life happily ever after This is a realistic view of how it really is. Picking up cheats from other patients and giving the teams what they want sonyoubcan get out and back to how you really want to be. The lack of funding but eternal cost of stays and doctors who really just work there for a paycheck and not to actually help. I donwish there had been a better ending for the author but her honesty makes it real, and for that I applaud this memoir.
A little bit hap hazard at times (understandable because daysbreally to seem to mention into each other in treatment, but can be hard to follow ifbyoubdont understand 1st hand the inner workings of the 'system')
Worth a read if you have an hour or 2 to spare from start to finish. Glad I came across it and read it.
February 19, 2022
Decent story, I like to learn about other's experiences with mental health issues.
The story has the potential to be great! It's fascinating looking into the minds of people with other psychiatric issues than my own. It could use some editing(though it may be an intentional style choice, idk?). But I just finished reading this book and I wish the author nothing but the best! My only sister suffered from disordered eating and excessive exercise and I wish she was still around so I could tell her I understand what her troubles were like dealing with ED's. Thanks!
The story has the potential to be great! It's fascinating looking into the minds of people with other psychiatric issues than my own. It could use some editing(though it may be an intentional style choice, idk?). But I just finished reading this book and I wish the author nothing but the best! My only sister suffered from disordered eating and excessive exercise and I wish she was still around so I could tell her I understand what her troubles were like dealing with ED's. Thanks!
October 11, 2022
Could be harmful
This book is written fine for a autobiography of ED. The pictures however could be harmful for someone who is struggling or in recovery. Lots of body checking and shock value poses. I can see why the author included them, but I don’t they were necessary to telling the story.
This book is written fine for a autobiography of ED. The pictures however could be harmful for someone who is struggling or in recovery. Lots of body checking and shock value poses. I can see why the author included them, but I don’t they were necessary to telling the story.
April 27, 2020
Many Typos
I believe if it were t for the typos it would have been a better read. I submitted them for review. The story kind of goes nowhere... like a day in the life of someone in inpatient. But I hope the book has brought the author some peace.
I believe if it were t for the typos it would have been a better read. I submitted them for review. The story kind of goes nowhere... like a day in the life of someone in inpatient. But I hope the book has brought the author some peace.
April 14, 2021
It's good only one problem
It's good just has a lot of word mistakes So sometimes you get mixed up but other than that it is fine .
It's good just has a lot of word mistakes So sometimes you get mixed up but other than that it is fine .
May 22, 2022
Why
I have read slot better books on eating disorders. This is mainly about her stay in outpatient hospital with an eating disorder. I am glad I only borrowed the book.
I have read slot better books on eating disorders. This is mainly about her stay in outpatient hospital with an eating disorder. I am glad I only borrowed the book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews