The Second Wife: Seduced Into Slavery

by Shirin Ariff

In The Second Wife, author Shirin Ariff reveals her heart-wrenchingly beautiful memoir. Life handed her hardships in the form of illness, abuse, and betrayal. Throughout the struggles, Shirin cultivated her magic power: resilience. Growing up in a prestigious Indian family, Shirin enjoyed a picturesque childhood. When she grew up, she was expected to marry well, have children, and please her husband till death do them part. Her first marriage cut that timeline short. Divorce was not approved of in the Indian culture; Shirin knew she needed to remarry. Her knight in shining armor arrived, but he was hiding a tarnished inner layer. Sahir was a South Asian Indian living in Canada and he won Shirin's heart. Shirin and her daughter Sabah, got on a plane that would take her to a treacherous next chapter of her life. What happens to them in Canada?This book is a page-turner. It will make you cry and rejoice. You will be left forever transformed.

172 pages, Paperback

First published July 8, 2019

Reviews

[Meg]

I read this immediately after finishing Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows. This story also involves women’s private lives in the closed, male-dominated Punjabi community. This is memoir, though, not a novel, so there’s less of a satisfying arc and more repeated cringing at the author’s horrible husband and his dreadful behavior. There are also short exercises at the beginning of each chapter, inviting the reader to complete thoughtful journal prompts or self-esteem meditations.

Shirin, a divorced mom with a sweet young daughter, is swept off her feet by an older suitor. Although Sabir is closer to her father’s generation than her own, she falls for his repeated promises and romantic gesture, and eventually agrees to marry him and move to his house in Canada.The prospect of having her own home, instead of being a burden to her parents, is definitely a factor in her decision. So is the chance to live in Canada. After her difficult first marriage ended due to her husband’s addiction problems, it was hard not to root for Shirin and hope she was getting an exciting new start to her life.

But once in Canada, away from her friends and family, Shirin is subjected to awful abuse from the man who claimed to love her. Her home is not what was described, and she’s left alone most nights. Sabir, although legally Shirin’s husband, is still living with his first wife, Mona. He spends most of his time with his first family, he continues to support his first wife, and they continue to have more children together. Shirin is without any resources, in a foreign country, and it’s so difficult to read about her experiences, and know this is a true story.

Strangely, Shirin is most angry at Mona, not Sabir. After reading about the arranged marriages and patriachal rules in Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows, I felt like I understood some of the way her anger was directed at other women. But I still wondered why she was so angry with her rival, instead of with the man who’d promised her so much before marriage and delivered less than nothing. Readers will be furious with him! Sabir continues to be a terrible husband, spreading lies about her in the close-knit Punjabi community, mistreating her, and finally abandoning Shirin when she’s hospitalized.

Shirin’s love for her children shines through, which keeps this from being completely depressing at the darkest points, and eventually, she is able to find freedom.

[Yvonne Kasine]

I just finished to read “The Second Wife: Seduced Into Slavery”. Oh my! Thank you so much, Shirin, for sharing your life-changing story. It is a heartbreaking story in the beginning of the book, but it becomes a story of strength, self-discovery, compassion and willingness to empower others and many more other qualities I can’t list here, towards the end.
Thank you for being your own North Star and for creating a movement to enable others to be their own North stars.
Your courage to share such an intimate story of how you overcame abuse and chose to live, how you overcame cancer and chose life, how you chose to be a role model for your daughters and son so that they don’t experience abuse or ever cause abuse to others is just a heroic act.
Your story-telling approach to this book makes it easy to read. I wish all women and men would read this book. Young people as well can learn a lot from your powerful story.

Thank you.
Yvonne Kasine

[DENISE ROBERTS]

The Second wife is a must read for every woman. Too often we are so starved for attention and love that we accept the smallest crumbs thrown to us. I love the space for the notes at the end of each chapter, and eager read each, knowing that I can reflect on it through your insights. I've been able to make meaningful connections from my perspective. It is helping me to sort through so much. I look forward to my weekend away at my friend's home, giving her a copy of this book so that we can have in depth conversations.

[Mallika Sothinathan]

A beautiful and authentic story. A must read for every woman and a man.Awesome job ! So proud of you. I could not keep the book down for a moment.

[J.A. Wright]

The Second Wife: Seduced into Slavery written by Shirin Ariff is a fascinating and empowering story about the life of Shirin. This memoir begins by speaking about Shirin’s dreams, what her family and childhood were like in India and what was expected of her from her culture. Shirin marries and has a daughter, Sabah, but unfortunately, the marriage only lasts eight years. Her husband, Junaid, has an addiction to drugs and sadly he chooses to love the drugs more than he chooses to love his wife or daughter. Their marriage ends in divorce and this begins Shirin’s journey of depression, self-loathing and more. She moves back in with her parents, but her family (she has a BIG family) aren’t all kind to her about the divorce. This makes Shirin feel even worse about herself, her ex-husbands family even goes so far as to blame Shirin for his drug addiction. Shirin continues to self-loath, but thankfully in time, she is able to pick herself up and dust herself off. She goes to school again, life is going well for her. She does online dating for a while and even forms a long-distance relationship. It looks like her life is going in the right direction and all will turn out well, but it doesn’t. Sahir is Shirin’s uncles, brother-in-law, and he warns Shirin about the man that she is in a long-distance relationship with. He tells her that he’s been to prison and she should stay clear of him and Shirin listens to his advice
Sahir confesses to loving Shirin for many years and even though Shirin tells him no she doesn’t want a relationship with him Sahir still pursues her. Eventually, Shirin does what most women do, she caved. She wanted to feel loved and beautiful and that is what Sahir made her feel. He moves her to Canada after they get married, and at first, things are great. They travel, he loves her, she’s adored by him, her life is full of happiness. Her daughter Sabah is loved by him. Life is well and good. In the blink of an eye though all of that changes and Sahir turns into this narcissistic jerk that cheats on Shirin with his ex-wife multiple times and continuously lies to his family about Shirin being his wife. She gives him three children over the years and he still lies to his family saying that the children aren’t his and that she isn’t his wife she is someone that he took in out of the kindness of his heart. What a jerk. It gets worse and Shirin falls back into self-loathing, depression and pretty much hating her life, at one point she considers suicide. She gets diagnosed with Bell’s palsy and then later Cancer, but being the strong woman that she is she overcomes and THANKFULLY comes to her senses and divorces for a second time.
Throughout the story I found myself rooting for Shirin. She goes through so many ups and downs that you can’t help but hope that she will find herself and fix herself so I was happy to read that she did just that. She forgave those that hurt her, she healed, and she moved on. I would have liked to hear a little bit more about her children and how they suffered through her abuse, but it’s okay that they weren’t as involved as I would have liked. I’m happy for Shirin for finding the power to heal herself and help others heal. Based on the last few pages of the book she seems to be doing well and is even helping others heal and find themselves. I hope that she finds someone to love her. I was hoping Azam, the man she was in a long-distance relationship with, ended up being her true love and that Sabah had lied about him because he wanted Shirin for himself, but it didn’t turn out that way. Best of luck to Shirin and her family!

[Dorota]

‘’The Second Wife: Seduced into Slavery’’ by Shirin Ariff Sabir is a gripping story of her life marked by two disastrous marriages. After divorcing her first husband due to his drug addiction, Shirin, a woman from a ‘’good home’’ would do everything to re-marry and stop being a divorced single mother. Divorce is something that is deeply frowned upon in the traditional South Asian society. She soon agrees to marry Shahir, a man whom she hardly knows. She desperately craves love and wants to escape her shameful position. She soon realizes that Shahir is a talented manipulator and liar who still keeps an intimate connection with his previous wife. He deliberately preys on Shirin’s desperation and low self-esteem, turning the life of her and her children into hell. Shirin patiently suffers and sacrifices just to gain a minute of love and attention. Her unfortunate upbringing and insecurity help spark years of horror. She becomes Shahir’s low-cost office keeper and servant, forced to even work for his first wife. He controlled what she ate, whom she met, what she did and bought. Despite being educated, Shirin still followed the traditional role of a submissive servant and victim, believing that a woman’s real fulfillment can only come through the acceptance of someone else. Surprisingly, Shirin is saved by her enemy when she ends up in a hospital because of a cancer. It is the proximity of death that turns her back to life. She then realizes who her true family is and wants to do everything to live for her children. But more important, she realizes how deeply unfair her upbringing was. Shirin connects with other women with similar experiences and concludes that abuse is disguised as ‘’culture’’ due to silencing women across generations. Shirin’s story is a great testimony of self-discovery and fight for dignity. Despite being in a hopeless situation, she never gave up on herself. She is a great example for other women who learn how to stand up for themselves and never be silenced again.

[Svetlana Ratnikova]

Thank you Shirin, for sharing your heartbreaking story that teaches us to find strength and direction, compassion and willingness to empower others. Thank you for being North Star and making meaningful contributions.

[Alma Christova]

I have read Shirin's book in one breath. It might be true that when you know the author of a book, you read her work through a different lens. Yet I know one thing for sure: by writing her story, Shirin helped me find my own North Star. Thank you, my friend - you are beyond any doubt a true inspiration. You are your Own North Star!

[Dayana]

A book that elaborates one the true, authentic struggle of a woman. Very heary touching book that every human should read.