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The Hang Up
Desperate to put her troubled past behind her, twenty-year-old Jordan Baines is ready to reinvent herself. She decides to label herself as demisexual, which means she is incapable of enjoying sex without a romantic connection. Just her luck, she develops an attraction to Riley Reynolds, the carefree, provocative bartender with no interest in relationships. Despite their conflicting qualities, the friendship is effortless between the two. They soon discover that they have more in common than they had imagined. As their relationship blooms, they must work together to face their demons.
182 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 15, 2019
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19 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
May 15, 2020
Summary: This lesfic romance misrepresents demisexuality in an extremely disrespectful way, and has extensive depictions of characters making fun of and invalidating demisexuality. It also erases aromanticism and uses insulting language about disabled people (especially horrifying in Chapter 11). There is fat-antagonism and extensive slut-shaming, including from one MC to the other. Finally, it lacks a content warning for descriptions of past sexual abuse and on-page interaction with the abuser, depicts it as okay to disclose that someone has been sexually abused without their permission, and uses the trope that love magically heals trauma.
I have read thoughtful books about people struggling to understand their sexuality or recover from sexual abuse. This ain't it.
Details:
My bad-book spider-sense went off from the blurb alone, which says that the main character is "ready to reinvent herself. She decides to label herself as demisexual, which means she is incapable of enjoying sex without a romantic connection."
First, though demisexual is a label that can mean different things to different people, this is not what demisexual generally means. It's about attraction, not enjoyment. Second, no one should simply decide to label themselves with a new orientation because they want to reinvent themselves. (This is startlingly similar to what many prejudiced people think about queer people, that we just "decide" to be queer.)
Folks on the ace spectrum struggle to have their orientations taken seriously by the general public, medical professionals, and their own families and friends. Many people in the queer community gatekeep against them belonging! So I was afraid to see anyone using demisexuality as a plot device in a book without an actual demi character.
Since the book was on KU, though, I decided to see if my concerns were well-founded. Sometimes bad blurbs happen to good books.
Sadly, my concerns were completely well-founded.
In the first chapter, main character Jordan says she's "tired of being called a lesbian" and tells her mother and male best friend Matt that"Starting today, I'm considering myself demisexual." Her announcement is met with laughter. Matt jokes that there's a term for people who are attracted to kitchen countertops.
Let's all keep in mind that one of the arguments anti-queer people make against same-gender marriage is that it's a "slippery slope" towards allowing people to marry animals and inanimate objects. Hateful rhetoric used here as a joke by a non-queer person, awesome!
Jordan asks to be taken seriously and says demisexuality means she's "incapable of enjoying sex unless it's someone I'm in love with." Again, this is *not* what demisexuality generally means.
Jordan insists that she "needs some change in [her] life" and is "coming out of the closet as demisexual." Her mother - who Jordan says has always been supportive of her sexual orientation - responds that people don't come out of closets. Yes, she's so supportive that she erases a fundamental concept about queer identity and experience! Her mother then invalidates her new identity by saying she's just doing it because a former girlfriend broke her heart.
So now I'm mad that Jordan is claiming an identity she doesn't even know the definition of, and I'm ALSO mad her supposedly supportive mother is invalidating her. Yep, these reactions can co-exist.
Later, friend Matt says he supports her whether she's "demisexual, pansexual, trisexual, polysexual, octasexual, aquasexual, deltasexual"... and he and Jordan laugh at the funny, funny joke! Because it's funny there are so many names now for people's sexual and romantic orientations! Right? So hilarious!
Our other MC is Riley. The book does not get better when she's introduced. It turns out that the married man who's cheating on his wife with her has this bizarre quirk in bed - he shouts out the names of African-American jazz and funk musicians when he has an orgasm! And he doesn't even like those musicians! Isn't that wacky? Honestly, with everything Black people in this country have to put up with, I don't know why they had to be drawn into this.
When Jordan and Riley finally meet, we get this: "As Jordan watched her walk away, a shiver flew down her spine, landing in a flush of tingles between her legs. Whoa. Maybe Jordan wasn't demisexual after all."
Ya think?
I couldn't bear to seriously read much past that, but I did spend way more time than I wanted to skim-reading the rest.
In Chapter 3, Jordan assumes Riley's heterosexual because R sleeps with men, but I've seen that kind of bi erasure so often in lesfic that I expect it. Yes, at this point Riley also thinks she's heterosexual, but I am so done with queer characters assuming they know someone else's orientation from their known partners. Do better, people.
In Chapter 4, Riley asserts that "Everyone loves sex. We're all human." and makes further comments along those lines. Jordan says she decided she's "only interested in sex if it's someone I'm in love
with. I only enjoy it if there's a deep connection." Riley says Jordan's "a demisexual." So she knows the concept, but still runs around asserting that loving sex is universal?! Why? This makes no sense.
In Chapter 5, Riley says no relationship of hers is ever romantic, and Jordan asks if it's because R has been hurt before. Because it couldn't possibly be the case that R is aromantic, amirite?? Riley
says she's never had any interest whatsoever in a romantic relationship, but Jordan believes R is hiding loneliness so deep it "cripples the soul." Bonus for ableist language!
In Chapter 6 Jordan again expresses that she "decided" to be demisexual.
In Chapter 11, Jordan, watching Riley in a physical altercation, thinks she "wasn't sure if she was witnessing a fight, or two disabled morons having sex."
WHAT THE EFF? SERIOUSLY? Who thinks that's okay thing to say? Ever?
In Chapter 15, Jordan's ex-gf invalidates her stated demisexuality by phone sexing at her without consent and saying basically "see, you're turned on." So even if you believe Jordan is demi, here we have a truly heinous boundary violation that mocks her self-professed orientation, in a way that would likely be particularly upsetting to demi readers.
In Chapter 17, Jordan decides "Humans are too complicated to put a label on." Her ex-gf is then described by Riley as "a little heavy set, but the extra weight made sense on her body." Well thank goodness we have Riley's stamp of approval for this gal to be the size she is! Jordan slut-shames Riley. Multiple secondary characters call her a slut and a whore, repeatedly throughout the book, so I guess why leave Jordan out of the party?
After that I kind of lost track of chapters, sorry.
We find out that Riley has a background of being sexually abused by her stepfather, who shows up in the story and says horrible things to her.
Jordan initially stands up for Riley (though I was super uncomfortable with some of what she said), but then she **takes the word of Riley's abuser about how Riley is likely to behave, and throws the info from the abuser in Riley's face** ("Frank told me that you always run away from your problems") so the plot can have drama and a dark moment where they break up.
At that point, I didn't want these two together. Jordan sided with Riley's abuser. Game over!
Then, Riley's mom finds out that Riley's stepfather had abused her, and tells the entire family about it **without Riley's permission**.
Finally, Riley says she's "coming out of the closet as demisexual." Jordan says that Riley is straight, and Riley says she wouldn't be so attracted to Jordan if she was, and that she only wants to have sex with the person she's in love with - this is clearly a declaration of behavior change, not a statement of discovering a truth about her orientation, grr!
I saw no mention whatsoever of therapy for Riley. Apparently falling in love with Jordan has fixed everything for her. This is one of the most tired tropes in the romance genre: love/sex magically heals trauma! And like Jordan's supposed demisexuality, Riley's abuse backstory feels like just a plot device to set up the opposition between Riley as "doesn't want relationships" and Jordan's "doesn't want meaningless sex."
I am so, so angry and horrified. I sent my draft review to a demi friend who's a special education teacher, wondering if I was overreacting. She assured me I was not.
What makes me extra upset is my guess is the author, editor, and many people who have read and enjoyed this book will see this and still not think anything is wrong with the book. They meant well, it's not a big deal, not everyone is so easily offended, it's just a story, well I had a good time reading it, you don't have to think so hard, etc. etc. x 1000 excuses.
But it IS a big deal when you promote misinformation. It is a big deal when you use someone else's sexual orientation in fiction so that a reader is subjected to multiple scenes of people making fun of it. It is a big deal when you call people "disabled morons." It is a big deal when you hit readers with a sexual abuse plot with no content warning, and throw out the impact of sexual abuse on a character once they have their HFN/HEA.
Romance, as a genre, can do so much better.
Resources:
What is Demisexuality? by the Demisexuality Resource Center:
Sexual Assault in Romance by Adriana Herrera
Domestic Violence in Romance, an interview with Adriana Herrera by Jennifer Prokop
Ableism/Language by Lydia X.Z. Brown
Recs for A-Spec Representation in Contemporary Romance at Corey's Book Corner
I have read thoughtful books about people struggling to understand their sexuality or recover from sexual abuse. This ain't it.
Details:
My bad-book spider-sense went off from the blurb alone, which says that the main character is "ready to reinvent herself. She decides to label herself as demisexual, which means she is incapable of enjoying sex without a romantic connection."
First, though demisexual is a label that can mean different things to different people, this is not what demisexual generally means. It's about attraction, not enjoyment. Second, no one should simply decide to label themselves with a new orientation because they want to reinvent themselves. (This is startlingly similar to what many prejudiced people think about queer people, that we just "decide" to be queer.)
Folks on the ace spectrum struggle to have their orientations taken seriously by the general public, medical professionals, and their own families and friends. Many people in the queer community gatekeep against them belonging! So I was afraid to see anyone using demisexuality as a plot device in a book without an actual demi character.
Since the book was on KU, though, I decided to see if my concerns were well-founded. Sometimes bad blurbs happen to good books.
Sadly, my concerns were completely well-founded.
In the first chapter, main character Jordan says she's "tired of being called a lesbian" and tells her mother and male best friend Matt that"Starting today, I'm considering myself demisexual." Her announcement is met with laughter. Matt jokes that there's a term for people who are attracted to kitchen countertops.
Let's all keep in mind that one of the arguments anti-queer people make against same-gender marriage is that it's a "slippery slope" towards allowing people to marry animals and inanimate objects. Hateful rhetoric used here as a joke by a non-queer person, awesome!
Jordan asks to be taken seriously and says demisexuality means she's "incapable of enjoying sex unless it's someone I'm in love with." Again, this is *not* what demisexuality generally means.
Jordan insists that she "needs some change in [her] life" and is "coming out of the closet as demisexual." Her mother - who Jordan says has always been supportive of her sexual orientation - responds that people don't come out of closets. Yes, she's so supportive that she erases a fundamental concept about queer identity and experience! Her mother then invalidates her new identity by saying she's just doing it because a former girlfriend broke her heart.
So now I'm mad that Jordan is claiming an identity she doesn't even know the definition of, and I'm ALSO mad her supposedly supportive mother is invalidating her. Yep, these reactions can co-exist.
Later, friend Matt says he supports her whether she's "demisexual, pansexual, trisexual, polysexual, octasexual, aquasexual, deltasexual"... and he and Jordan laugh at the funny, funny joke! Because it's funny there are so many names now for people's sexual and romantic orientations! Right? So hilarious!
Our other MC is Riley. The book does not get better when she's introduced. It turns out that the married man who's cheating on his wife with her has this bizarre quirk in bed - he shouts out the names of African-American jazz and funk musicians when he has an orgasm! And he doesn't even like those musicians! Isn't that wacky? Honestly, with everything Black people in this country have to put up with, I don't know why they had to be drawn into this.
When Jordan and Riley finally meet, we get this: "As Jordan watched her walk away, a shiver flew down her spine, landing in a flush of tingles between her legs. Whoa. Maybe Jordan wasn't demisexual after all."
Ya think?
I couldn't bear to seriously read much past that, but I did spend way more time than I wanted to skim-reading the rest.
In Chapter 3, Jordan assumes Riley's heterosexual because R sleeps with men, but I've seen that kind of bi erasure so often in lesfic that I expect it. Yes, at this point Riley also thinks she's heterosexual, but I am so done with queer characters assuming they know someone else's orientation from their known partners. Do better, people.
In Chapter 4, Riley asserts that "Everyone loves sex. We're all human." and makes further comments along those lines. Jordan says she decided she's "only interested in sex if it's someone I'm in love
with. I only enjoy it if there's a deep connection." Riley says Jordan's "a demisexual." So she knows the concept, but still runs around asserting that loving sex is universal?! Why? This makes no sense.
In Chapter 5, Riley says no relationship of hers is ever romantic, and Jordan asks if it's because R has been hurt before. Because it couldn't possibly be the case that R is aromantic, amirite?? Riley
says she's never had any interest whatsoever in a romantic relationship, but Jordan believes R is hiding loneliness so deep it "cripples the soul." Bonus for ableist language!
In Chapter 6 Jordan again expresses that she "decided" to be demisexual.
In Chapter 11, Jordan, watching Riley in a physical altercation, thinks she "wasn't sure if she was witnessing a fight, or two disabled morons having sex."
WHAT THE EFF? SERIOUSLY? Who thinks that's okay thing to say? Ever?
In Chapter 15, Jordan's ex-gf invalidates her stated demisexuality by phone sexing at her without consent and saying basically "see, you're turned on." So even if you believe Jordan is demi, here we have a truly heinous boundary violation that mocks her self-professed orientation, in a way that would likely be particularly upsetting to demi readers.
In Chapter 17, Jordan decides "Humans are too complicated to put a label on." Her ex-gf is then described by Riley as "a little heavy set, but the extra weight made sense on her body." Well thank goodness we have Riley's stamp of approval for this gal to be the size she is! Jordan slut-shames Riley. Multiple secondary characters call her a slut and a whore, repeatedly throughout the book, so I guess why leave Jordan out of the party?
After that I kind of lost track of chapters, sorry.
We find out that Riley has a background of being sexually abused by her stepfather, who shows up in the story and says horrible things to her.
Jordan initially stands up for Riley (though I was super uncomfortable with some of what she said), but then she **takes the word of Riley's abuser about how Riley is likely to behave, and throws the info from the abuser in Riley's face** ("Frank told me that you always run away from your problems") so the plot can have drama and a dark moment where they break up.
At that point, I didn't want these two together. Jordan sided with Riley's abuser. Game over!
Then, Riley's mom finds out that Riley's stepfather had abused her, and tells the entire family about it **without Riley's permission**.
Finally, Riley says she's "coming out of the closet as demisexual." Jordan says that Riley is straight, and Riley says she wouldn't be so attracted to Jordan if she was, and that she only wants to have sex with the person she's in love with - this is clearly a declaration of behavior change, not a statement of discovering a truth about her orientation, grr!
I saw no mention whatsoever of therapy for Riley. Apparently falling in love with Jordan has fixed everything for her. This is one of the most tired tropes in the romance genre: love/sex magically heals trauma! And like Jordan's supposed demisexuality, Riley's abuse backstory feels like just a plot device to set up the opposition between Riley as "doesn't want relationships" and Jordan's "doesn't want meaningless sex."
I am so, so angry and horrified. I sent my draft review to a demi friend who's a special education teacher, wondering if I was overreacting. She assured me I was not.
What makes me extra upset is my guess is the author, editor, and many people who have read and enjoyed this book will see this and still not think anything is wrong with the book. They meant well, it's not a big deal, not everyone is so easily offended, it's just a story, well I had a good time reading it, you don't have to think so hard, etc. etc. x 1000 excuses.
But it IS a big deal when you promote misinformation. It is a big deal when you use someone else's sexual orientation in fiction so that a reader is subjected to multiple scenes of people making fun of it. It is a big deal when you call people "disabled morons." It is a big deal when you hit readers with a sexual abuse plot with no content warning, and throw out the impact of sexual abuse on a character once they have their HFN/HEA.
Romance, as a genre, can do so much better.
Resources:
What is Demisexuality? by the Demisexuality Resource Center:
Sexual Assault in Romance by Adriana Herrera
Domestic Violence in Romance, an interview with Adriana Herrera by Jennifer Prokop
Ableism/Language by Lydia X.Z. Brown
Recs for A-Spec Representation in Contemporary Romance at Corey's Book Corner
August 19, 2019
Full disclosure: I edited this book.
Is this review biased? Probably.
Am I going to write it anyway? Yes.
Will you take a chance and read the book too? I sure hope so.
Despite my hand in editing the book, I truly do love it for what it is. I freelance for a lot of authors but that doesn't mean I like every book I edit. When I volunteer to edit books for free though, I get the opportunity to pick and choose what authors I want to help, and I only pick authors that I believe have potential. Kathleen Hearn is one of those authors for me. She has a great writing style that's both realistic and funny, and I'm going to be her cheerleader until she gets sick of me.
Anyway, here's the review:
Jordan is a young lesbian who decides to label herself as a demisexual, meaning she can only have a sexual attraction with someone with which she has a strong emotional connection. Although her best friend and mother think she's crazy (and possibly hiding behind this label), Jordan is determined to prove them right and finally find the relationship she deserves, refusing to settle for anything less. Unfortunately, life always seems to happen when you're busy making plans, and Jordan finds that out the hard way when she meets Riley.
Riley is an outgoing, attractive bartender with a whole rolling backpack of issues trailing behind her. If it's not her promiscuity or her impulsiveness, it's her past that seems to be creeping back into her life more and more every day, no matter how hard she tries to escape it. In Jordan, she finds a friend and a confidant, and soon the attraction starts to grow for both women.
But nothing is that simple. Both Jordan and Riley must overcome issues with their pasts if they have any shot at being together in the long-run.
This book has some of my favorite lesfic romance qualities: it's well-written, it's funny, and it's sexy. You really can't beat that combination.
Is this review biased? Probably.
Am I going to write it anyway? Yes.
Will you take a chance and read the book too? I sure hope so.
Despite my hand in editing the book, I truly do love it for what it is. I freelance for a lot of authors but that doesn't mean I like every book I edit. When I volunteer to edit books for free though, I get the opportunity to pick and choose what authors I want to help, and I only pick authors that I believe have potential. Kathleen Hearn is one of those authors for me. She has a great writing style that's both realistic and funny, and I'm going to be her cheerleader until she gets sick of me.
Anyway, here's the review:
Jordan is a young lesbian who decides to label herself as a demisexual, meaning she can only have a sexual attraction with someone with which she has a strong emotional connection. Although her best friend and mother think she's crazy (and possibly hiding behind this label), Jordan is determined to prove them right and finally find the relationship she deserves, refusing to settle for anything less. Unfortunately, life always seems to happen when you're busy making plans, and Jordan finds that out the hard way when she meets Riley.
Riley is an outgoing, attractive bartender with a whole rolling backpack of issues trailing behind her. If it's not her promiscuity or her impulsiveness, it's her past that seems to be creeping back into her life more and more every day, no matter how hard she tries to escape it. In Jordan, she finds a friend and a confidant, and soon the attraction starts to grow for both women.
But nothing is that simple. Both Jordan and Riley must overcome issues with their pasts if they have any shot at being together in the long-run.
This book has some of my favorite lesfic romance qualities: it's well-written, it's funny, and it's sexy. You really can't beat that combination.
Want to Read
August 17, 2019🎁 FREE on Amazon today (8/17/2019)! 🎁
August 22, 2019
DNF In the first few chapters I got every detail about the fascinating exploits of a guy with a large penis, how the main character's brother makes his date scream "daddy", and how the main character "isn't demisexual after all". I don't care about what's next, the author seems dead set at the beginning to give you exactly what you did not want when opening this book.
not-reading-problematic-content
August 27, 2019Not reading due to issues pointed out in this review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
August 23, 2019
The book was very easy to read which made me enjoy it a little, but there were A LOT of problems too
August 23, 2019
Awesome
I loved this book! Jordon and Riley have both been so hurt by life, they just keep running away from each other.... until they run right into each other's arms.
I loved this book! Jordon and Riley have both been so hurt by life, they just keep running away from each other.... until they run right into each other's arms.
August 27, 2019
Love this story.
I think that this story is so very good
And so real to life. Maybe the writer is friends with another writer that I her books too.
The writing Similar.
I think that this story is so very good
And so real to life. Maybe the writer is friends with another writer that I her books too.
The writing Similar.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews