Raising Safe Kids in an Unsafe World: 30 Simple Ways to Prevent Your Child from Being Lost, Abducted, or Abused

by Jan Wagner

Using "what if" games and positive reinforcement, Raising Safe Kids in an Unsafe World offers parents and educators thirty simple lessons for teaching children how to respond wisely and safely to threatening situations. Based on extensive psychological research, conversations with parents, law enforcement and child safety experts - as well as the author's insights as a mother and founder of America's leading child safety organization, Safe-T-Child - this indispensable handbook makes personal safety fun and empowering for children.

Genres: Parenting

212 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1996

Reviews

[Adrienne]

So far I am about 1/4 the way into the book and I am really appreciating this book and the messsage that it sends about how to raise your child to be safe in an unsafe world. It teaches you to not to scare your child about strangers, but rather how to deal with tricky people, people who they might even know....
My daughter's preschool just went thru the Yello Dino Safety program and I thought it was really well presented for 4/5 year olds. I know the program also caters to older children too, but starting at the 4/5 year old age seems so appropriate.

[James Imelda]

I can't really give this any stars, because the book contains no proper citations (and very few informal ones). I read it for a research paper on how a martial arts instructor could teach self-defence to children, given that the most likely predator of a child is not a stranger but rather a family member, family friend, or at least someone known well to the family (like a teacher). Even this fact is not cited in the book, if memory serves (I used the FBI stats to cite that fact in my paper). However, the book gave me some good ideas for how to explain to my students, or to my own children (whose mother, if you are reading this, please come back), on their personal safety. For instance, teaching a child to yell, “This is not my dad/brother/etc,” if being taken in a public place; having in-depth conversations about what a “stranger” is (e.g. it can include someone you see on a regular basis, like at a grocery store); the importance of parents talking with their kids regularly and teaching them personal safety in bite-sized pieces; and the importance of teaching children that their personal safety is more important than politeness, respect, or comfortability (i.e. not embarrassing someone). I read this book last Spring, and have already begun incorporating its lessons in my martial arts classes.

My main criticism concerns that topic over which I did my paper, namely teaching personal safety, self-protection, and self-defence to children through the martial arts. Whether by ignorance of or ignoring certain types of self-defence like Krav Maga, and by her not mentioning that there is a vast physical difference between a 12-year-old and a 5-year-old (though both are children at risk for abduction/predation), and thus a difference in the applicability of self-defence in each child's case, I think Wagner doesn’t understand the purposes and natures of different martial arts and how her ideas actually are or can be present in a self-defence class. For instance, some self-defence classes (ones I’ve taken and ones I teach) incorporate keeping distance from a threat, personal awareness drills, and making noise when fighting under stress in order to get attention and help. Wagner addresses the importance of at least two of those three items, but doesn’t acknowledge the relevance of a good self-defence class in practising them. She also seems to contradict herself. She writes that, ‘experts including law enforcement officers and martial arts masters say that almost without exception, children will not be able to defend themselves against an attack by an adult. Actually, the primary benefit of learning martial arts is the confidence and self-esteem children gain from the mental and physical discipline.’ (She does not cite these ‘experts.’) But elsewhere she writes, ‘[Children] should be able to judge when to fight, when to make a scene, and when to be quiet and wait for an opportunity to run.’ This implies that fighting can help. If you are interested in my essay, which discusses more helpful lessons in her book and includes more of my counterarguments (which are cited), I can send that to you. I’ll just finish this thought by saying that the past two weeks I did drills with my 8-12 year old students wherein I wore protective gear, picked them up, and they had to fight back and hit to the groin and other good targets and keep hitting till I let go and they could create space. Some of them failed. But I’ll tell ya, some of them would have made me regret grabbing them if I hadn’t worn gear. And they were holding back, since I didn’t have a full Red Man Suit and could still hurt me if they went full force. It’s true an adult could easily kill a 10-year-old in a fight, but adult predators are not planning on or prepared to fight a child who is actually fighting and not just struggling. And children can be taught to fight, not just struggle.

In the end, however, I credit Wagner with ideas that (though not cited) I think are sensible and useful, not only for parents and school teachers but also for self-defence / martial arts instructors.

Overall I would recommend it, but there may be a better book out there.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative and proactive...instead of reactive. Good ideas to equip your kids with, and set to music...which helps with easier recall for children when faced w/ a stressful/frightening situation. I would recommend this book to anyone who has children!

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a lot of new information here (this book is outdated), but I did learn a few things to teach my children.