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Refusing Mr. Collins: A Pride and Prejudice Possibility
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that while a man in possession of a fortune may be in want of a wife, there may be ladies who do not reciprocate. This may be especially so when the man in question not only possesses the rightful inheritance of said ladies, but is also of a most odious disposition and less than agreeable in appearance. Such was the lot of five young women near the town of Meryton. Not only had they no fortune, their own father, an absentee parent at best, had not the foresight to put aside a single pound should they not have the opportunity marry. For this sole reason, their overbearing mother deemed it necessary for one of her daughters to marry this impossible man. However, a mother’s best laid plans cannot come to pass if the gentleman in question is not only repulsive, but also very, very dead. Desperate times often call for desperate measures. There is a myriad of ways to dispose of an unwanted suitor, all of which may be deemed accidental, for who would ever accuse a young lady of good family? The answer is simple… no one. However, some persons are as extremely difficult to be rid as they are to tolerate in life. The Reverend Mr. Collins, despite his obvious deficiencies when it came to appearance and personality, has an uncanny knack for staying alive but, where there is a will, there is always a way…
176 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 12, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
July 19, 2019
This book is a complete departure from Pride and Prejudice in an entertaining way. No pride, no prejudice, and it's filled with dark humor.
Mr. Bingley's original occupancy of Netherfield had been with only his sisters, and then he left. Shortly after the book begins, he returns to Hertfordshire without his sisters, but this time Mr. Darcy accompanies him. Darcy's original concern is to be certain Bingley's "angel" isn't a mercenary fortune hunter. Unlike canon, he immediately recognizes that Jane and Bingley are perfectly matched. Additionally, he's immediately drawn to Elizabeth, and his interest increases when he recognizes Mr. Collins's intention to marry her.
From the onset, almost all the major characters find reason to want Mr. Collins dead. He inspires that depth of loathing. (Even Lady Catherine isn't as pleased with his boot-licking as usual, though she's not one of those wanting to kill him.) Some characters act on these impulses and, in other cases, his life is at risk from purely accidental causes. The author cleverly manipulates things, putting other characters' lives at risk as a result of Mr. Collins's frequent brushes with death.
Mr. Collins himself is not oblivious to the apparent threat to his life. He becomes more and more fearful of Lydia, Kitty, Mary and especially Elizabeth. Charlotte Lucas is a very clever lady here. She encourages Darcy to become directly involved with the Bennets' affairs when disaster strikes. She also uses Mr. Collins's fear of the Bennet girls to her advantage when she's determined to have him as a husband.
The storyline involving Wickham and Lydia is a different and interesting one. The author changes the timeline so Wickham's infamous past with Georgiana occurred when she was only thirteen years old, which we're told was four years prior to the events here.
Elizabeth regrets refusing Darcy's marriage proposal immediately. It takes a while before the two of them are in close enough proximity to resolve things between them. Events at Rosings Park are quite different from canon and set things up nicely for the book's conclusion.
I really like the way this story develops, and I always appreciate humor. Love the irony in the "kill Mr. Collins" plot throughout. The author has good writing chops, with revealing observations about characters and surroundings.
I do have some issues with a couple of elements of the plot and some spelling errors that prevent me from rating this higher.
The path used with Darcy and Elizabeth's romance isn't quite believable, particularly the all-important proposal scene.
While it's obvious that Charlotte is capable of manipulating Mr. Collins into inviting Elizabeth to Hunsford after they marry, the couple has a heated argument regarding their guest that is developed less believably. Once again, I have trouble following Elizabeth's thinking in this section.
As for spelling, there's an incidence where "complement" is used rather than "compliment." More distracting is the frequent number of times "to" is used rather than "too."
There's a lot more to like than to criticize here, though. I found it a different and entertaining read. Content is clean.
Mr. Bingley's original occupancy of Netherfield had been with only his sisters, and then he left. Shortly after the book begins, he returns to Hertfordshire without his sisters, but this time Mr. Darcy accompanies him. Darcy's original concern is to be certain Bingley's "angel" isn't a mercenary fortune hunter. Unlike canon, he immediately recognizes that Jane and Bingley are perfectly matched. Additionally, he's immediately drawn to Elizabeth, and his interest increases when he recognizes Mr. Collins's intention to marry her.
From the onset, almost all the major characters find reason to want Mr. Collins dead. He inspires that depth of loathing. (Even Lady Catherine isn't as pleased with his boot-licking as usual, though she's not one of those wanting to kill him.) Some characters act on these impulses and, in other cases, his life is at risk from purely accidental causes. The author cleverly manipulates things, putting other characters' lives at risk as a result of Mr. Collins's frequent brushes with death.
Mr. Collins himself is not oblivious to the apparent threat to his life. He becomes more and more fearful of Lydia, Kitty, Mary and especially Elizabeth. Charlotte Lucas is a very clever lady here. She encourages Darcy to become directly involved with the Bennets' affairs when disaster strikes. She also uses Mr. Collins's fear of the Bennet girls to her advantage when she's determined to have him as a husband.
The storyline involving Wickham and Lydia is a different and interesting one. The author changes the timeline so Wickham's infamous past with Georgiana occurred when she was only thirteen years old, which we're told was four years prior to the events here.
Elizabeth regrets refusing Darcy's marriage proposal immediately. It takes a while before the two of them are in close enough proximity to resolve things between them. Events at Rosings Park are quite different from canon and set things up nicely for the book's conclusion.
I really like the way this story develops, and I always appreciate humor. Love the irony in the "kill Mr. Collins" plot throughout. The author has good writing chops, with revealing observations about characters and surroundings.
I do have some issues with a couple of elements of the plot and some spelling errors that prevent me from rating this higher.
The path used with Darcy and Elizabeth's romance isn't quite believable, particularly the all-important proposal scene.
While it's obvious that Charlotte is capable of manipulating Mr. Collins into inviting Elizabeth to Hunsford after they marry, the couple has a heated argument regarding their guest that is developed less believably. Once again, I have trouble following Elizabeth's thinking in this section.
As for spelling, there's an incidence where "complement" is used rather than "compliment." More distracting is the frequent number of times "to" is used rather than "too."
There's a lot more to like than to criticize here, though. I found it a different and entertaining read. Content is clean.
August 14, 2019
3.5 stars rounded up to 4 stars
Mr. Collins seems to be existing under the rule of Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong...even to the point of death. Even Bennet sister, Mary, is not above thinking that the world would be a better place without the malodorous and obnoxious cousin who will send the sisters out into the hedgerows unless one can be persuaded to marry him. As one after another "accident" takes place for the man he soon begins to accuse one or another of plotting his demise through witchcraft or poison, at the minimum...even to the point of filing criminal charges against one. A servant girl unwittingly becomes involved and as things progress Charlotte Lucas works behind the scenes and as to how, will in the end surprise you.
This was an interesting and amusing variation.
Mr. Collins seems to be existing under the rule of Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong...even to the point of death. Even Bennet sister, Mary, is not above thinking that the world would be a better place without the malodorous and obnoxious cousin who will send the sisters out into the hedgerows unless one can be persuaded to marry him. As one after another "accident" takes place for the man he soon begins to accuse one or another of plotting his demise through witchcraft or poison, at the minimum...even to the point of filing criminal charges against one. A servant girl unwittingly becomes involved and as things progress Charlotte Lucas works behind the scenes and as to how, will in the end surprise you.
This was an interesting and amusing variation.
July 22, 2019
The amount of plotting against Mr Collins in this book makes it very funny.
No specific pride or prejudice to be found, but lots of accidents :)
No specific pride or prejudice to be found, but lots of accidents :)
July 22, 2019
This was a story with a lot of potential for hilarity that fell short. It is also one where the author moved all the time line around and I think eventually got lost. And the author describes Georgiana Darcy as elfin.
What I liked - a less imperious Lady C.
What I wasn't thrilled with - there was a lot of contorting of events, characters and more to get it done.
What I liked - a less imperious Lady C.
What I wasn't thrilled with - there was a lot of contorting of events, characters and more to get it done.
July 15, 2019
Arsenic and Lace meets the Bennet sisters
The book does not have a working table of contents
3.5 stars rounded up to 4 for originality. A throughly enjoyable story. Mr. Collins has more lives than a black cat.
I recommend the story.
The book does not have a working table of contents
3.5 stars rounded up to 4 for originality. A throughly enjoyable story. Mr. Collins has more lives than a black cat.
I recommend the story.
September 8, 2019
Avid Reader
Mr. Collins has met his demise in numerous ways but never because of bees! After accusing Elizabeth and Mary of trying to kill him, Mr. Collins was most unbearable, especially in the areas of hygiene. Even Jane was disgusted by his filth and body odors. Lydia married Wickham without eloping, and Mary was finally recognized by Mr. Bennet. Most surprising was Lady Catherine insisted that Darcy win Elizabeth 's hand, which he did.
Mr. Collins has met his demise in numerous ways but never because of bees! After accusing Elizabeth and Mary of trying to kill him, Mr. Collins was most unbearable, especially in the areas of hygiene. Even Jane was disgusted by his filth and body odors. Lydia married Wickham without eloping, and Mary was finally recognized by Mr. Bennet. Most surprising was Lady Catherine insisted that Darcy win Elizabeth 's hand, which he did.
December 18, 2020
Fun read
Reviewed in Canada on February 28, 2020
This was a quick fun read. Pretty well written. Humorous. Mr. Collins is not a favorite character, but this writer made it bearable to enjoy a story focused around him.
Reviewed in Canada on February 28, 2020
This was a quick fun read. Pretty well written. Humorous. Mr. Collins is not a favorite character, but this writer made it bearable to enjoy a story focused around him.
July 28, 2019
OMG it's wonderful!
It's actually so funny! Mr Collins comes searching for a wife but runs into a series of potentially fatal events. He's " pushed" off a trail and almost dies. He's poisoned with herbs to kill mice and almost dies. These are as a result of being near Mary and Elizabeth. Then he's shot by a non-relative. Unfortunately they can't seem to get rid of the disgustingly bad smelling parson who doesn't bath or change his clothes! The typical P&P events occur in the background including the trip to Rosings. I was pleased with how the story evolved and for me the heroine of the story is Charlotte! Well worth the time to read it.
It's actually so funny! Mr Collins comes searching for a wife but runs into a series of potentially fatal events. He's " pushed" off a trail and almost dies. He's poisoned with herbs to kill mice and almost dies. These are as a result of being near Mary and Elizabeth. Then he's shot by a non-relative. Unfortunately they can't seem to get rid of the disgustingly bad smelling parson who doesn't bath or change his clothes! The typical P&P events occur in the background including the trip to Rosings. I was pleased with how the story evolved and for me the heroine of the story is Charlotte! Well worth the time to read it.
September 12, 2019
Humorous
The repeated and mostly half hearted attempts on Collins' life made for an amusing read. Nothing that made me laugh aloud, but a giggle or two here and there. One part that annoyed me though was the inconsistency with Elizabeth and Darcy - Elizabeth's "rejection" and following emotions/rationale are in total contrast to previous developments. It was as though the author forgot she had altered some of the backstory from the original story which changed ODC first interactions, and then ignoring that they *were* actually getting along had Elizabeth pull an almost-Hunsford reaction. That was vastly annoying and rather jarring to the flow of the story.
The repeated and mostly half hearted attempts on Collins' life made for an amusing read. Nothing that made me laugh aloud, but a giggle or two here and there. One part that annoyed me though was the inconsistency with Elizabeth and Darcy - Elizabeth's "rejection" and following emotions/rationale are in total contrast to previous developments. It was as though the author forgot she had altered some of the backstory from the original story which changed ODC first interactions, and then ignoring that they *were* actually getting along had Elizabeth pull an almost-Hunsford reaction. That was vastly annoying and rather jarring to the flow of the story.
July 7, 2024
An original idea, told humourously. Sadly the writing is poor -- replete with malapropisms, and with little regard for grammar or syntax.
October 29, 2019
Abrupt ending, but not an unexpected outcome
I had only advanced a very few pages into this story when I seriously considered putting it aside; that was when Mrs Bennet, after having only known Mr Collins for less than a half hour, was thinking of possible ways to bump him off! I ploughed onwards and in just a few more pages, at least two other Bennet females were indulging in murderous thoughts.
Now we know that more than one Bennet female's personality left a lot to be desired, but I could never picture any of them in the guise of a murderess.
When you get past (if you can) the ludicrousness of the plot, the book is actually quite clever and quite funny. Very tongue in cheek. Mr Collins' personality and his physical appearance are negatively exaggerated, he is truly anathema throughout.
There is no Caroline Bingley and Mr Wickham, while still being a villain, has a softer side. But the biggest surprise is Lady Catherine; I will not spoil anything by outlining the changes in her ladyship.
There was a liberal sprinkling of mistakes throughout the text, mostly consisting of words added or words left out, usually prepositions or occasionally pronouns. The book I read prior to this one had exactly the same sorts of mistakes. I wonder if these authors have an editor read over their own work or if indeed, they even read over it themselves.
Overall, quite entertaining. 3 1/2 stars.
I had only advanced a very few pages into this story when I seriously considered putting it aside; that was when Mrs Bennet, after having only known Mr Collins for less than a half hour, was thinking of possible ways to bump him off! I ploughed onwards and in just a few more pages, at least two other Bennet females were indulging in murderous thoughts.
Now we know that more than one Bennet female's personality left a lot to be desired, but I could never picture any of them in the guise of a murderess.
When you get past (if you can) the ludicrousness of the plot, the book is actually quite clever and quite funny. Very tongue in cheek. Mr Collins' personality and his physical appearance are negatively exaggerated, he is truly anathema throughout.
There is no Caroline Bingley and Mr Wickham, while still being a villain, has a softer side. But the biggest surprise is Lady Catherine; I will not spoil anything by outlining the changes in her ladyship.
There was a liberal sprinkling of mistakes throughout the text, mostly consisting of words added or words left out, usually prepositions or occasionally pronouns. The book I read prior to this one had exactly the same sorts of mistakes. I wonder if these authors have an editor read over their own work or if indeed, they even read over it themselves.
Overall, quite entertaining. 3 1/2 stars.
August 4, 2019
Well....this was quite different than any other variations I have read. For the most part, I enjoyed the premise, and most of the execution of this plot. It was unique and sometimes humorous. I, for once, honestly didn’t see the ending coming. And I would have preferred to see more interaction between Elizabeth and Darcy.
I deducted stars due to poor grammar and spelling. The two things that irked me the most were the fact that sometimes her name was spelled “Lizzy” and sometimes it was spelled “Lizzie”. Same with “fiance” “fiancé” and “finance”. Plus there were commas splitting sentences where there definitely didn’t need to be a pause, and quotation marks where nobody was speaking. A thorough re-edit of this book would do it justice.
I deducted stars due to poor grammar and spelling. The two things that irked me the most were the fact that sometimes her name was spelled “Lizzy” and sometimes it was spelled “Lizzie”. Same with “fiance” “fiancé” and “finance”. Plus there were commas splitting sentences where there definitely didn’t need to be a pause, and quotation marks where nobody was speaking. A thorough re-edit of this book would do it justice.
August 25, 2019
Delightful yet somewhat reprehensible
Truly, how can we not feel our world would be better without Mr Collins? Yet we do not feel quite so comfortable when considering his murder. Though periodically dipping into this dark and slightly sinister topic the author manages to do so in a lighthearted and sometimes sarcastic manner.
Editing: Well edited (read with text to speech)
Sexytimes: No, this is a sweet romance
HEA: yes, Happily Ever After for most
Recommended: Yes, and I think I'll be rereading this book.
Truly, how can we not feel our world would be better without Mr Collins? Yet we do not feel quite so comfortable when considering his murder. Though periodically dipping into this dark and slightly sinister topic the author manages to do so in a lighthearted and sometimes sarcastic manner.
Editing: Well edited (read with text to speech)
Sexytimes: No, this is a sweet romance
HEA: yes, Happily Ever After for most
Recommended: Yes, and I think I'll be rereading this book.
September 25, 2021
Longbourn 1813 In this Pride & Prejudice variation, every female at Longbourn eagerly awaits the arrival of Mr Collins, the heir to the estate. Then he arrives. What can the daughters do so that one of them does not have to marry him.
A delightful well-written story which I really enjoyed
A delightful well-written story which I really enjoyed
August 11, 2019
Entertaining
This book is noncanon but is thoroughly enjoyable. I liked the absence of the usual angst and the flow of the writing.
This book is noncanon but is thoroughly enjoyable. I liked the absence of the usual angst and the flow of the writing.
August 25, 2019
This one appealed to my sense of humor Igot a good giggle out of it. A different Charlotte but seriously likeable.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews