My Terrifying, Shocking, Humiliating Adventures In Online Dating

by Ben Arogundade

This is the story of my eventful journey as a 50-something male online dater. During this time I was stood up, ghosted, verbally abused, propositioned for sex and asked to be a surrogate father to an unborn child, amongst other things. The turning point came when I learned to be an emotional detective. By interpreting the clues and hidden messages within the words and images online daters posted in their profiles I was able to pinpoint those who were emotionally unavailable or otherwise unsuitable. This book will teach you how to do this, helping you identify those who are right for you. It will also reveal the secrets and best practices you need to know in order to optimise your online profile, and thereby attract the best matches. If the future of dating is digital, the sooner singles learn how to master it, the better.

The book also discusses Internet dating’s major issues, including;
• Why you have a less than 20% chance of finding love online.
• Why black women who seek love should never use Tinder.
• Why all dating apps should carry a government health warning.
• Why dating apps would prefer that you don’t find love.
• Why 90 per cent of online daters may not want a relationship.

Genres: Photography

182 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2000

About the author

I am an award-winning author, journalist, designer and broadcaster from London. I have written for The Times, The Telegraph, The Guardian, The Evening Standard, Elle and GQ, amongst others, and on a diverse range of subjects, including race and diversity, sport, politics, music and relationships.

I am also a voiceover artist and radio broadcaster for the BBC World Service. I have voiced audiobooks for titles by George Orwell, Charles Darwin, Bernadine Evaristo and many others.

I have authored and edited 12 works of fiction and non-fiction, including Black Beauty: A History and a Celebration, which was honoured by the New York Public Library and adapted into a three-part BBC documentary.

I recently launched my own publishing imprint, White Labels Books, as vehicle for special projects. Its latest venture, My Terrifying, Shocking, Humiliating, Amazing Adventures in Online Dating is currently being adapted for television.

My latest book, Hollywood Blackout: Race, Diversity & The Oscars, was published worldwide by Hachette in February 2025.

Reviews

[Ben Arogundade · Rating 5 out of 5]

“BEAUTIFUL”
Vogue

“SUPERB”
The Daily Express

“MAGNIFICENT”
Black Hair

“AN ENTERTAINING CHRONICLE”
VIBE

“LOOK AND LEARN”
Independent on Sunday

“CRISPLY WRITTEN, WITH SMART DESCRIPTIONS”
i-D

“A SMART, SUMPTUOUS BOOK, INTELLIGENT AND INSIGHTFUL”
Essence

“CONTROVERSIAL AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING”
New York Amsterdam News

[Kandie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved these stories! The way black beauty has been feared, loathed, loved, celebrated, and envied (even within our own culture) paints a very vivid picture of what we've endured and still must overcome.

[Habeeb Akande · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great photos