Living with Alzheimers

by Robin Thomson

When Robin Thomson and his wife Shoko were told she had Alzheimer’s, they had no clue what lay ahead. As the disease gradually took over their lives, Robin watched as his adventurous and independent wife slowly seemed to disappear. The struggles he and their adult children faced were painful and real. They experienced both frustration and great support as they navigated the health and social care systems. Yet Shoko’s love was constant and Robin found himself invited into a deeply spiritual journey with his wife.

This honest and hope-filled account is a must-read for caregivers, families and friends of those affected, with its practical insights, and advice on further resources. But it is also for all of us. It shows how we can respond to this mysterious disease, not with fear and incomprehension but with love and creative friendship.

192 pages, Paperback

Published January 16, 2020

About the author

Robin and Shoko Thomson met when he was travelling to India and she was returning to Japan after studying abroad. They were married and lived in India for over twenty years, teaching and training church and community leaders. After they returned to the UK Robin wrote and taught on cross-cultural understanding and leadership development.

In January 2012 Shoko was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

“We had no clue what lay ahead. Later, when the disease really began to bite, we learned the hard way. We had been married over forty years, living in twenty-three homes in India, the UK and Japan, bringing up our two children, sharing our life together. Now we went through discouragement and relentless pressure as her personality changed and she lost her capacity in many areas of life. What kept us going were the love and practical help of family and friends, and the remarkable friendship and support of the carers who visited us, backed up by health and social care professionals. Shoko died of heart failure in 2018.”

“Everybody’s experience of dementia is different. But there are common themes and I thought our story might be helpful to others facing similar experiences – the same pain and pressures, as well as the hope and resources.”

“I wanted to share our story as openly and honestly as possible. It’s quite difficult to convey the sense of bewilderment and sometimes hopelessness that you can feel, as well as the real joys and hopes.”

More at https://www.livingwithalzheimers.life/

Reviews

[Helen Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful in two ways. Firstly the compassionate insight into how Robin continued to love his wife , Shoko , in spite of the changes the Alzheimer's disease made to her personality was very moving. In addition the distract rather than battle approach and the importance of showing love rather than irritation or frustration were helpful. Secondly the book had a great deal of practical information which would be very useful to anyone faced with this situation.

[Andrew Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A loving account of Robin’s wife Shoko as she moves through the stages of Alzheimer’s. As well as being very informative on life with the disease, it encourages us that while Alzheimer’s can be a fearsome disease, our response need not be fearful.

[Phil Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely well written and helpful book. It wonderfully shows the love that author Robin had for his wife and how that worked out in practice for example the extent by which he sought to do the best for her at every stage. The book also gives excellent practical advice. The key conclusion of the book for me is that love is key as expressed in the scripture 1 John 4:18.

[Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very readable insight into life with his wife who suffered Alzheimer's disease, with a Christian perspective. Very helpful ideas on how to help anyone with Alzheimers as well of ideas of support to seek and other books to read.

[d m palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very truthful view of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s