Letters to Kate: Life after Life

by Carl H. Klaus

Sorrow is “not a state but a process” that needs “not a map but a history. . . . There is something new to be chronicled every day,” writes C. S. Lewis in A Grief Observed. When Carl Klaus's wife of thirty-five years died suddenly from a cerebral hemorrhage, right before Thanksgiving in 2002, he took the only road toward recovery that made sense to him: he started writing letters to her, producing a unique history of grief, solace, and love. His vivid and thoughtful letters will resonate with everyone whose loss confronts them with emotional, psychological, and philosophical questions for which there are no easy answers. During his first year without Kate, Carl writes himself into the life that comes after the life he loved. From days of grief in the darkness of a midwestern winter, to springtime, with a return to life in the garden and a memorial service for Kate on a sunny afternoon, to fall, with a pilgrimage to their favorite vacation spot in Hawaii, Carl documents his year-long experience of remembering, meditating, and evolving a new life. Individually his letters provide the insights of a master diarist; collectively, they have the arc of a master essayist. Recording the full range of mourning from intense shock to moments of exceptional affirmation, Klaus's stories and reflections on loss bear witness to universal truths about the first and most significant year of mourning.

190 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2006

Reviews

[Cory Fosco · Rating 5 out of 5]

A year in the life of Carl Klaus after his wife of 35 years unexpectantly dies. Klaus is brutally honest in his prose and kept me emotionally connected throughout. The book reads like a peek into his private journal as he scripts a letter to his wife almost every day. This man truly loved his wife. He tries to cope with everyday life and remain connected to the memory of his partner.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

There seem to be as many books on grief as there are on crazy mothers, and why this one resonates for me in ways that C.S. Lewis’ A grief observed has not managed to I don’t know. Maybe I’ve just gotten more fond of Carl Klaus than I knew. The topic of being a widow/er is compelling in the way that retirement was, though it occurs to me that one is a state I avidly hope to experience while the other one I hope even more fervently to avoid.
This one was better than #24, more to talk about than his own precious identity – although I should be much more patient than I am with written explorations of precious identity. I dreaded the coming of the fall along with him, the anniversary of her very sudden death, and felt better when it wasn’t so bad after all

[Rudi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love creative non-fiction. I love peeking into people's lives and learning about "real" stuff. This book was incredibly moving. I'm a romantic, and to me, this is the essence of romance. His devotion to his wife, even after she is gone, is what I long to have, and what many people long to find in this life. I had just gotten married several months before reading this book, so I feel like I was just beginning to understand that kind of commitment and love that can exist between a husband and wife. I highly recommend this sweet, rich, and real love story, and am looking forward to reading it again someday.

[reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a sweet book! In the vein of The Year of Magical Thinking, the author spends the year after his wife's death writing her letters. It makes you envious of their relationship and heartbroken for his loss.

[Sara Conkling · Rating 4 out of 5]

A year long journal of letters written to the author's late wife revealing his experiences and feelings as he goes through the year. This was a moving and honest book that rang true.