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A Woman’s Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce
There are no words that can describe the depth of pain caused by divorce. Rose Sweet knows. Whether you're facing divorce or grieving a past marriage, you'll find chapter after chapter opening the doors to your fear, anger, depression, bitterness and more. But it doesn't stop there. She delivers the means for you to let go of your pain and begin the healing process by examining forgiveness, problem solving, communication, setting new priorities and boundaries, and so much more.
296 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2000
11 people want to read
About the author
Rose Sweet
19 books9 followersRose is about relationships - she says if we don't get those right, we'll be stuck in a cycle of misery. "Love one another as I have loved you" had led Rose to share the timeless teaching of the four temperaments to understand a person's deepest emotional needs. "Look, you can love others the way YOU want, or they way THEY need to be loved. It's selfish to keep insisting they be like you." Rose offers practical help in not just improving any relationship but in reaching higher levels of authentic love. Who doesn't want that?
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
October 13, 2019
I read this book because of divorces in our extended family. I have never been through divorce. I thought that it might help me to understand what these people are going through.
This book is written by a woman who has been divorced three times, and I think is not currently married. She is also ministering in this area in the Catholic church to divorcees. It did help me gain some perspective in what my family members are experiencing because they are Catholic (in an extended family of varying religious beliefs and church affiliations. I am not Catholic.)
The book does have some practical ideas about dealing with the problems of divorce.
It simply did not resonate with me.
The pains of divorce are deep. They require deep healings that takes time.
I personally think that divorce is more difficult emotionally than the loss of a loved spouse.
The most deeply that a person can be hurt is by people whom you love and with whom you have had a sexual relationship. Because you have opened your heart to them in marriage, you are hurt at the deepest level of yourself. So the healing that is required takes time.
And energy. People who experience the loss of a relationship are suddenly left without a base. Their hearts and lives are torn apart. Every activity that used to be normal and easy now takes Herculean effort because of the emotional numbness or the pain or exhaustion or confusion. Decisions take longer. But the body and mind are too exhausted to cope. Yet the work load has doubled, the finances are probably halved but the costs remain the same. The challenge is simply to survive.
I personally do not see how the answer can be found in counselling or seeking out friends, etc.
At that time in life, rest and recovery are more important. It takes energy simply to survive; attending classes or counselling sessions to learn how to recover when a person is already exhausted and pressed for time does not seem practical. The theory sounds good, but if the person is exhausted, spending energy on these activities would not be useful. Also, the person's heart is raw and open and easily hurt by even innocent comments that show a lack of understanding. S/he needs to be around only a very few close friends who can be supportive. Getting into a group like this, when you are "digging" around damaged parts of your heart can even, I think, be more damaging to a person than being alone.
So, overall, I think this book is good in theory but weak in reality.
Sometimes you get a feeling about a book without knowing anything about the author. This book left me with a "scratchy" feeling inside, as if it never solved the problem of why a person failed in marriage. It never seemed to leave me with an ultimate feeling of success, that the failures in divorce could be used to improve human relationships and make possible a successful marriage.
I felt drained and discouraged after reading this book.
But later, after I read about the author, I understood. I do not judge people by their past. But I then understood about how I felt. This woman has not learned enough from her mistakes to live in a successful marriage. I am not criticizing or condemning her. I am simply saying that a teacher can never raise a student above his own level of success. So that is why I had this icky incomplete feeling in me after reading this book. It never seemed to get to the final stage of learning from your mistakes and developing a healthy marriage.
Of course, that was not supposedly the purpose of the book.
But when you talk about healing the heartbreak of divorce, I would think that the healing process would acknowledge the cause of mistakes made in the marriage and in the process fix them so that a person is able to move on to new more mature relationships.
I never had the feeling in this book that this process was occurring.
So, overall, there are a lot of good points in this book, but it is unfinished, in my opinion.
This book is written by a woman who has been divorced three times, and I think is not currently married. She is also ministering in this area in the Catholic church to divorcees. It did help me gain some perspective in what my family members are experiencing because they are Catholic (in an extended family of varying religious beliefs and church affiliations. I am not Catholic.)
The book does have some practical ideas about dealing with the problems of divorce.
It simply did not resonate with me.
The pains of divorce are deep. They require deep healings that takes time.
I personally think that divorce is more difficult emotionally than the loss of a loved spouse.
The most deeply that a person can be hurt is by people whom you love and with whom you have had a sexual relationship. Because you have opened your heart to them in marriage, you are hurt at the deepest level of yourself. So the healing that is required takes time.
And energy. People who experience the loss of a relationship are suddenly left without a base. Their hearts and lives are torn apart. Every activity that used to be normal and easy now takes Herculean effort because of the emotional numbness or the pain or exhaustion or confusion. Decisions take longer. But the body and mind are too exhausted to cope. Yet the work load has doubled, the finances are probably halved but the costs remain the same. The challenge is simply to survive.
I personally do not see how the answer can be found in counselling or seeking out friends, etc.
At that time in life, rest and recovery are more important. It takes energy simply to survive; attending classes or counselling sessions to learn how to recover when a person is already exhausted and pressed for time does not seem practical. The theory sounds good, but if the person is exhausted, spending energy on these activities would not be useful. Also, the person's heart is raw and open and easily hurt by even innocent comments that show a lack of understanding. S/he needs to be around only a very few close friends who can be supportive. Getting into a group like this, when you are "digging" around damaged parts of your heart can even, I think, be more damaging to a person than being alone.
So, overall, I think this book is good in theory but weak in reality.
Sometimes you get a feeling about a book without knowing anything about the author. This book left me with a "scratchy" feeling inside, as if it never solved the problem of why a person failed in marriage. It never seemed to leave me with an ultimate feeling of success, that the failures in divorce could be used to improve human relationships and make possible a successful marriage.
I felt drained and discouraged after reading this book.
But later, after I read about the author, I understood. I do not judge people by their past. But I then understood about how I felt. This woman has not learned enough from her mistakes to live in a successful marriage. I am not criticizing or condemning her. I am simply saying that a teacher can never raise a student above his own level of success. So that is why I had this icky incomplete feeling in me after reading this book. It never seemed to get to the final stage of learning from your mistakes and developing a healthy marriage.
Of course, that was not supposedly the purpose of the book.
But when you talk about healing the heartbreak of divorce, I would think that the healing process would acknowledge the cause of mistakes made in the marriage and in the process fix them so that a person is able to move on to new more mature relationships.
I never had the feeling in this book that this process was occurring.
So, overall, there are a lot of good points in this book, but it is unfinished, in my opinion.
June 13, 2022
Overall I think the book offered some helpful information and I’m glad that I read it. The section on forgiveness was well written and the idea to accept that some people can’t be trusted and to not get bitter about that.
And also the statement that Singleness is not brokenness; that I can be separate, Unique and Whole as a single person.
And also the statement that Singleness is not brokenness; that I can be separate, Unique and Whole as a single person.
May 4, 2009
This was a good book to help look at issues I hadn't realized might still be bothering me and ways I could work on it. I enjoyed seeing I wasn't the only one and finding new ways to cope.
Formal Review up: http://saraisbookchallenges.blogspot....
Formal Review up: http://saraisbookchallenges.blogspot....
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews