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Nina's Memento Mori
Near the end of Nabokov's Lolita, Humbert makes an honest "[A]nd it struck me…that I simply did not know a thing about my darling's mind." That line sums up the isolate game of memorializing a deceased loved one, which is the basic tension in Nina's Memento Mori, an elegy to Mathias Freese's lost wife. The profound responsibility of answering the question "Who was Nina?" is left to the lone I can say or write anything I want about her…There is much writerly power in that. I am the executor of her probate in all things now. She is mine now in ways she could not be when alive. I am the steward of her memory. Freese ends up analyzing himself, putting the "me" in "memento" and the "i" in "mori," thanks to ever-giving Nina posthumously providing a therapeutic mirror or "Rosebud," which Freese appropriates from Citizen Kane. But Freese mourns more over the burden of existence than over its loss. Appropriately, for Kane is not about the symbolic sled as much as it's about the cumulative snow that buries it. About the Author MATHIAS B. FREESE is a writer, teacher, and psychotherapist who has authored seven books. His I Truly Working Through the Holocaust won the Beverly Hills Book Award, Reader's Favorite Book Award, and was a finalist in the Indie Excellence Book Awards, the Paris Book Festival, and the Amsterdam Book Festival. In 2016 A Memoir of Two Summers, his first memoir, received seven awards. The following year his second memoir appeared, And Then I Am Gone.
150 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 27, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
July 27, 2020
Freese lost his wife of two years a couple of years ago. She suffered greatly in her last days and through this work, Freese tries to reconcile with his memories of her. It reminded me very much of A Year of Magical Thinking, in its tackling of grief head on, and the void the loss of a loved one leaves. And similar to Didion, Freese too does not find much comfort in the younger generation, who are either estranged or indifferent.
Through all his works, the author’s style has become more and more polished. And looking back at his earlier works, it is evident that now, the gel of flashback and present moulds better together. It is a thought provoking read that touches upon many themes – the idea of finding love later on in life, what it means to be married for such little time, and the human bondage of relationships. It is also a reflective book in a sense, as the author freely delves into his past as well as Nina’s.
(from https://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/2...)
Through all his works, the author’s style has become more and more polished. And looking back at his earlier works, it is evident that now, the gel of flashback and present moulds better together. It is a thought provoking read that touches upon many themes – the idea of finding love later on in life, what it means to be married for such little time, and the human bondage of relationships. It is also a reflective book in a sense, as the author freely delves into his past as well as Nina’s.
(from https://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/2...)
April 12, 2022
It will soon be Easter. I thought of this as I went through my TBRs and selected Nina's Memento Mori. This book was gifted to me by Mathias Freese.
Freese dedicated this book to Nina, his wife and muse who died of complications of ALS. He admits he has been a widower twice in his life - a life spent in observation of his own anguish. He wrote while he was in a state of emergence which he associates with the pussy willow - a popular Easter decoration adored by many for its soft silver tufts.
Freese speaks of his existence without his darling Nina and I was absorbed in the supernatural power of his words. The German proverb that says we grow old too soon and smart too late is displayed in his text and might as well be written on my heart.
Those of us who self-analyze often have difficulty putting it all together. Expressing openly, face to face can be difficult as we may feel the need to isolate our imperfections from those we perceive to be more human. Whereas our thoughts in written form are mere words displayed on a page that we know will fade over time.
When we ponder loss- it is often for shared “hobbies” such as watching movies and holding hands under the covers. Thoughts of long walks on the beach at sunset. Sounds of laughter and the touch and warmth that comes with a human connection. Yes! We often long for the things we could have continually shared had we had more time.
Freese tells us he looks at himself as the artifact, the relic, that played a part in Nina’s life. "Old age has settled down upon me like a mantle of fresh snow," he writes.
In turn, I place the cursor over the search engine window and move my fingers across the keyboard. Stroking the alphabet, I type Mathias Freese, and press enter. Nina and he had less than two years together. I move my fingers again - the clicks on the keyboard take longer this time. I nod as no one is watching. The soft coating of hairs of the pussy willow act as an insulation to protect.
It is appropriate, I read this elegy now as it is a reminder of the inevitability of death. As I conclude this review, another author's words come to mind, “Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart.”
Freese dedicated this book to Nina, his wife and muse who died of complications of ALS. He admits he has been a widower twice in his life - a life spent in observation of his own anguish. He wrote while he was in a state of emergence which he associates with the pussy willow - a popular Easter decoration adored by many for its soft silver tufts.
Freese speaks of his existence without his darling Nina and I was absorbed in the supernatural power of his words. The German proverb that says we grow old too soon and smart too late is displayed in his text and might as well be written on my heart.
Those of us who self-analyze often have difficulty putting it all together. Expressing openly, face to face can be difficult as we may feel the need to isolate our imperfections from those we perceive to be more human. Whereas our thoughts in written form are mere words displayed on a page that we know will fade over time.
When we ponder loss- it is often for shared “hobbies” such as watching movies and holding hands under the covers. Thoughts of long walks on the beach at sunset. Sounds of laughter and the touch and warmth that comes with a human connection. Yes! We often long for the things we could have continually shared had we had more time.
Freese tells us he looks at himself as the artifact, the relic, that played a part in Nina’s life. "Old age has settled down upon me like a mantle of fresh snow," he writes.
In turn, I place the cursor over the search engine window and move my fingers across the keyboard. Stroking the alphabet, I type Mathias Freese, and press enter. Nina and he had less than two years together. I move my fingers again - the clicks on the keyboard take longer this time. I nod as no one is watching. The soft coating of hairs of the pussy willow act as an insulation to protect.
It is appropriate, I read this elegy now as it is a reminder of the inevitability of death. As I conclude this review, another author's words come to mind, “Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart.”
March 4, 2020
Before I could begin writing a review on or comment upon ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’, I first gave myself time to digest and absorb exactly what it was that I had read, and perhaps more importantly, come to some internal consensus as to what it was I had experienced through reading it. And so I gave myself forty-eight hours after finishing reading it before turning to write about it, and during that time at odd moments I reflected on various of the events within the book, and that view of a coherent whole those events united presented to the reader.
I admit that after reading the first few chapters, my reading stalled out for a short bit, for ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ is not exactly what I’d consider to be ‘light reading’ and it was clear that this was a book which would require of the reader an investment of a particular sort. Perhaps this slim volume can best be described as a series of deeply personal, self-disclosing essays that link together presenting the reader with an intimate vision of a man caught up in the machinations of time, events and emotions.
Perhaps the purchasing of books and magazines that we never get around to reading is a basic characteristic of humanity. Our homes abound with such. These are works we pick up and touch, and briefly purview and so determine there to be a certain intrinsic value to us within their pages, a value and import to our lives which would surely be realized if, and when, we put forth the effort to properly absorb them, and so we pull them to us and hold on to them for later reading, and then, well then we seldom do. And most often we are put off by the level of mental and perhaps emotional effort we recognize we’d have to expend to achieve that realization of value and thus we decide each time we pick one up to begin such work, we decide that perhaps it might be better to just run into the kitchen to see what to have for lunch.
‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ quite possibly might have fallen into the buy-to-read-later-but-never-read category for me, but I did read it. And yes I had begun reading it and had then balked a bit when I began suspecting the emotional cost of finishing it. Part of me did not want to work that emotionally hard, no, did I want to have to deal with the relating of intense personal grief due to the loss of a loved one, nor the bared remorse and/or regrets that arose attendant and subsequent to her passing, or with the strong undercurrent of survivors guilt which the love one’s passing generated. I simply did not want to be a frog dropped into that emotional blender thank you very much. So I jumped in. Death touches us all, for sooner or later we all lose someone love. Death is a fact of life, and learning how others deal with that reality, might assist us when the occasion arises. Still we shy away from the pain of it regardless.
I did find the work a few times just a tad erudite and dense. The author, Mathias B. Freese, is after all a teacher, and a psychotherapist, as well as a writer. So, on occasion I found myself rereading sentences and paragraphs so to more fully identify and then absorb both nuance and term/phrase interpretations. Oh, and to take a second or two additional to fully absorb the emotional impact these sentences conveyed. And then too, there were half a dozen times or so I paused in my reading to check on the specific variances and usages of a seldom used word to make sure I understood properly its employment within the sentence. All this slowed me down in my reading pace, but I dutifully continued on, and after a bit as I grew more accustomed to the authors ‘voice’ and ‘style’ my reading speed increased and as I read, a greater whole picture began to take shape.
As I read, and as that portrait of Mathias B. Freese and his spouse Nina emerged, and oddly enough I found myself comparing Freese’s writing to that of Thomas Wolfe. Now, I am a long-time fan of Thomas Wolfe, and I do not make such comparisons lightly. But I found myself comparing ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ to various of Wolfes work, oddly because I found them both so alike and yet so widely disparate at the same time. Alike because both deeply delve into the human experience, what it means to be human and interact with other humans, and disparate by using such different style and voice. Both address similar human issues, Mathias B. Freese in this one slim book, paints us a closed-in picture painted in intense sharp colors with few carefully chosen words, whereas Wolfe issued forth a flood of words using a multitude of lighter pallet colors to paint us sweeping vistas of the human spirit, but at heart, both Wolfe and Freese address the same questions of what it is to be human, with its pain and beauty that we all commonly experience.
Because I am sometimes a writer, when I read a piece, I tend to consider it in light of those elements which every writer is concerned with. I tend to evaluate each story through its use of the following elements: Style, Voice, Emotion, Timelessness, Uniqueness, and Plot. Below is the description of each of these categories, followed by a few words as to how I felt they applied to ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’.
Style: The quality of the prose. The lyrical nature of the writing. This is the artistry of literature. This is where we consider the beauty of the words or if the writer can’t tell when to stop. And this is the most important quality.
- At first I found myself a bit daunted by the apparent level of compact concision and preciseness of the sentence structure, and had the overall impression that yes, this was couched in the reporting mindset of a clinician, but as I read on and the greater picture began to emerge, yes, artistry and even lyricism became apparent.
Voice: The distinctiveness of the artistic voice. A story may have an excellent style, but does it read like the work of any number of other authors? Note: I am talking about artistic voice, which may be, but is not necessarily related to the author’s background.
- The writing voice of Mathias B. Freese is definitely distinctive, and it does seem to be impacted by his personal history and training. I seriously doubt I would confuse his work with that of other writers.
Emotion: Does the story make you feel? Does it have an emotional impact on you? It could be joy or depression or fear. Or maybe it makes you laugh? Or cry?
- ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ deals with emotionally laden topics and issues, sometimes with great intensity, which oddly enough forced me as the reader, to hold the rendering of it at an emotional arm’s length as to avoid uncomfortable levels of internal discomfort. This was assisted by the occasional hints of clinician couched language. But I suspect my efforts to stand way from the emotional impact of ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’, is only resulting in a temporary delaying of the works psychic impact and that I will be thinking about Nina and Mathias B. Freese for a long time to come.
Timelessness: Will this story have the same effect on a reader in a hundred years as it does now, or will it age poorly?
- Is this work timeless? Well yes, and without reservation. While ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ is perhaps a personal relating, it still addresses those human issues and sufferings that humanity has eternally and universally had to deal with since the beginning of time, and it does so without tying that relating to a fixed technological point in time. Yes, I would expect a reader a hundred years from now to be as deeply affected as a reader of today.
Uniqueness: Is this story something new and unusual or is it a well-done version of something you’ve seen before. There is overlap with Style and Voice.
- Well, I can truthfully say I cannot recall ever having read anything exactly like it. Yes, memoirs of all types do often relate personal experiences intensely and often convey deeply affected emotion, and so there are a multiplicity of works out there which contain some similar elements, but ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ stands alone in uniqueness for me.
Plot: Is the plot complicated or simple? Does it pull you in? If the plot makes no sense, or the story doesn’t have a plot, it’s a problem.
- Plot? My first inclination is to think that Plot was somewhat a non-issue. I mean, you think of plot and you start thinking of mysteries and the like as seen in fiction, right? But then I reconsider. Yes, there is a plot. As ever, the plot is the unveiling of the story, and yes, in reading ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ we are rewarded with the unveiling of lives, relationships and events. Despite the emotionally laden relating that causes us to keep some things at emotional arms-length, we still become invested in the ‘characters’ and we still want to see how the story ends. Complicated? Yes, but that’s life, isn’t it?
I admit that after reading the first few chapters, my reading stalled out for a short bit, for ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ is not exactly what I’d consider to be ‘light reading’ and it was clear that this was a book which would require of the reader an investment of a particular sort. Perhaps this slim volume can best be described as a series of deeply personal, self-disclosing essays that link together presenting the reader with an intimate vision of a man caught up in the machinations of time, events and emotions.
Perhaps the purchasing of books and magazines that we never get around to reading is a basic characteristic of humanity. Our homes abound with such. These are works we pick up and touch, and briefly purview and so determine there to be a certain intrinsic value to us within their pages, a value and import to our lives which would surely be realized if, and when, we put forth the effort to properly absorb them, and so we pull them to us and hold on to them for later reading, and then, well then we seldom do. And most often we are put off by the level of mental and perhaps emotional effort we recognize we’d have to expend to achieve that realization of value and thus we decide each time we pick one up to begin such work, we decide that perhaps it might be better to just run into the kitchen to see what to have for lunch.
‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ quite possibly might have fallen into the buy-to-read-later-but-never-read category for me, but I did read it. And yes I had begun reading it and had then balked a bit when I began suspecting the emotional cost of finishing it. Part of me did not want to work that emotionally hard, no, did I want to have to deal with the relating of intense personal grief due to the loss of a loved one, nor the bared remorse and/or regrets that arose attendant and subsequent to her passing, or with the strong undercurrent of survivors guilt which the love one’s passing generated. I simply did not want to be a frog dropped into that emotional blender thank you very much. So I jumped in. Death touches us all, for sooner or later we all lose someone love. Death is a fact of life, and learning how others deal with that reality, might assist us when the occasion arises. Still we shy away from the pain of it regardless.
I did find the work a few times just a tad erudite and dense. The author, Mathias B. Freese, is after all a teacher, and a psychotherapist, as well as a writer. So, on occasion I found myself rereading sentences and paragraphs so to more fully identify and then absorb both nuance and term/phrase interpretations. Oh, and to take a second or two additional to fully absorb the emotional impact these sentences conveyed. And then too, there were half a dozen times or so I paused in my reading to check on the specific variances and usages of a seldom used word to make sure I understood properly its employment within the sentence. All this slowed me down in my reading pace, but I dutifully continued on, and after a bit as I grew more accustomed to the authors ‘voice’ and ‘style’ my reading speed increased and as I read, a greater whole picture began to take shape.
As I read, and as that portrait of Mathias B. Freese and his spouse Nina emerged, and oddly enough I found myself comparing Freese’s writing to that of Thomas Wolfe. Now, I am a long-time fan of Thomas Wolfe, and I do not make such comparisons lightly. But I found myself comparing ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ to various of Wolfes work, oddly because I found them both so alike and yet so widely disparate at the same time. Alike because both deeply delve into the human experience, what it means to be human and interact with other humans, and disparate by using such different style and voice. Both address similar human issues, Mathias B. Freese in this one slim book, paints us a closed-in picture painted in intense sharp colors with few carefully chosen words, whereas Wolfe issued forth a flood of words using a multitude of lighter pallet colors to paint us sweeping vistas of the human spirit, but at heart, both Wolfe and Freese address the same questions of what it is to be human, with its pain and beauty that we all commonly experience.
Because I am sometimes a writer, when I read a piece, I tend to consider it in light of those elements which every writer is concerned with. I tend to evaluate each story through its use of the following elements: Style, Voice, Emotion, Timelessness, Uniqueness, and Plot. Below is the description of each of these categories, followed by a few words as to how I felt they applied to ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’.
Style: The quality of the prose. The lyrical nature of the writing. This is the artistry of literature. This is where we consider the beauty of the words or if the writer can’t tell when to stop. And this is the most important quality.
- At first I found myself a bit daunted by the apparent level of compact concision and preciseness of the sentence structure, and had the overall impression that yes, this was couched in the reporting mindset of a clinician, but as I read on and the greater picture began to emerge, yes, artistry and even lyricism became apparent.
Voice: The distinctiveness of the artistic voice. A story may have an excellent style, but does it read like the work of any number of other authors? Note: I am talking about artistic voice, which may be, but is not necessarily related to the author’s background.
- The writing voice of Mathias B. Freese is definitely distinctive, and it does seem to be impacted by his personal history and training. I seriously doubt I would confuse his work with that of other writers.
Emotion: Does the story make you feel? Does it have an emotional impact on you? It could be joy or depression or fear. Or maybe it makes you laugh? Or cry?
- ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ deals with emotionally laden topics and issues, sometimes with great intensity, which oddly enough forced me as the reader, to hold the rendering of it at an emotional arm’s length as to avoid uncomfortable levels of internal discomfort. This was assisted by the occasional hints of clinician couched language. But I suspect my efforts to stand way from the emotional impact of ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’, is only resulting in a temporary delaying of the works psychic impact and that I will be thinking about Nina and Mathias B. Freese for a long time to come.
Timelessness: Will this story have the same effect on a reader in a hundred years as it does now, or will it age poorly?
- Is this work timeless? Well yes, and without reservation. While ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ is perhaps a personal relating, it still addresses those human issues and sufferings that humanity has eternally and universally had to deal with since the beginning of time, and it does so without tying that relating to a fixed technological point in time. Yes, I would expect a reader a hundred years from now to be as deeply affected as a reader of today.
Uniqueness: Is this story something new and unusual or is it a well-done version of something you’ve seen before. There is overlap with Style and Voice.
- Well, I can truthfully say I cannot recall ever having read anything exactly like it. Yes, memoirs of all types do often relate personal experiences intensely and often convey deeply affected emotion, and so there are a multiplicity of works out there which contain some similar elements, but ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ stands alone in uniqueness for me.
Plot: Is the plot complicated or simple? Does it pull you in? If the plot makes no sense, or the story doesn’t have a plot, it’s a problem.
- Plot? My first inclination is to think that Plot was somewhat a non-issue. I mean, you think of plot and you start thinking of mysteries and the like as seen in fiction, right? But then I reconsider. Yes, there is a plot. As ever, the plot is the unveiling of the story, and yes, in reading ‘Nina’s Memento Mori’ we are rewarded with the unveiling of lives, relationships and events. Despite the emotionally laden relating that causes us to keep some things at emotional arms-length, we still become invested in the ‘characters’ and we still want to see how the story ends. Complicated? Yes, but that’s life, isn’t it?
October 22, 2019
Nina’s Memento Mori
Never forget that you must die because death will come sooner than you expect. Begin living and doing what you want to do because we are not living in eternity, we have only this moment sparkling like a star in our hand and disappearing and melting like a fragile raindrop or snowflake.
Imagine being on a mountain peak looking down at the greenery below and above you are dark clouds that fill the sky and hide the beauty of the world in its shadow. Not truly seeing the person lying in front of you , you disconnect from reality and remain on this mountain peak hoping not to fall and praying to understand what’s next. Time is precious and past events and time spent with one so precious was limited and yet life changing as author Mathias B. Freese shares his laments, his hopes and his life with you the reader to understand how difficult it was for him to present and honor his wife’s life and his true feelings for her. As we enter his world and get to know her in a memoir so riveting and powerful it will haunt you heart and mind long after you read it.
Disconnected from reality at times as if he’s floating in the air over her dying body, he remembers their short time together and the similarities between their pasts. His two parents in name only and rarely supervised or nurtured. Adopted by an abusive mother, she rose above to become a valuable educator who made a marked difference in so many lives. How did Freese handle knowing she was gone?
The author shares his Hebrew and Jewish heritage and the impact on his life referring to many Biblical references. The past was traumatic for both him and his wife but talking about her brother really hit a serious warm spot as he was her comfort when her mother finished beating her. It’s like she was letting off steam at her expense. Freese relates that he never abused or hit his children yet Nina's children and his were never close to either one of them. He relates how she sang her son out of a coma and even left him ten thousand dollars in her will yet he did not care about the disbursement of her ashes and even questioned what really caused her death. He had no empathy or emotional attachment to his mother in both life and death. Yet she thought the world of him as the author describes his relationships with his son and daughter.
A eulogy filled with clarity and understanding that allowed me to get to know Nina better and embrace her life and spirit. Although she won’t have a monument or a stone you can make the eulogy into a plague with her picture on it and keep it prominent forever. We did this for my sister as a reminder of her life.
The tone is morose at times yet as you get to know his wife you smile at her positive attitude and her way of making him feel important and special. Each chapter is another phase in their lives although short lived.
A letter so compelling and his voice bold and cold as the author lashes out at her family who did not care. Self-absorbed, self-centered and unfeeling not one called, texted or emailed their concern. As Freese bans them from his home and his life, setting rules for contacting her with not very wide parameters and rightfully so. Then his own letter and voice to Nina as he states his regrets, buying a new home yet placing her in rehab unable to care for her properly at home and yet regretting not honoring her final wishes to die at home. Guilt plagues him even now yet a commitment to care for someone required training and understanding and undying commitment and it’s not easy.
The final chapters are created like a four-part movie revisiting his past, his parents and even his stepmother. Additionally, is a telling recount of his past writings where we hear the voice of David Herrle, a writer and editor, whose voice expresses his opinion of Freese's work over the years. Herrle states that anyone familiar with his other work isn’t surprised by Freese’s ability to always dig deeper through apparent bottom after bottom of self-analysis.
This memoir is profound on so many levels as the author shares not only his time with his wife but his memories with his mother , father and the day he met her son and realized that he was there to assess his worth for Nina and later realized only hers mattered. Feeling he failed her yet if she were alive, I’m sure she’d disagree remembering the love, the closeness and just her special radiant beauty and unrequited love for him.
The final chapter voice over: Memento Mori encompasses all that he wanted to leave the reader with, his wife and himself as he relates how the manuscript disappeared and his words were magically found as thinking he failed her and yet he felt he was not present nor were her son and daughter in law and granddaughter not there. Emotionally he feels he has no purpose. The letter Nina wrote to her stepmother allows you to really understand the kind of person she was, and the poem says it all . :hurry night, claim my soul
Set me free
Give me the wings, release the chains
Only death has the key.
The final chapter encompasses it all and the letter she might have written to him forgiveness, knowing and letting him know that he was the only husband who truly respected and adored her. She cherished him and honored him for devoted and loving.word. The message clearly states that he’s to go on living, writing and hehas definitely captured Nina’s voice, her susurration,a quiet or sound made with little vocal cords resulting in the softest of sounds. Truly Nina. Told in the voice of the author from his heart and deep within his soul Nina’s Memento Mori is a tribute to this special woman whose memory will never fade in time and whose love will always be there for him if he just looks for it . Once again author Mathias B. Freese takes us on a journey into the life and brief time he had with Nina Elaine Wingard and allows us to take many journeys past, present and future hoping that someday he will truly find solace, peace and never stop writing because his voice is powerful and his manuscripts unique and thought provoking.
Fran Lewis just reviews
March 12, 2020
I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Nina's Memento Mori by Mathias B Freese, like all of his books, is a delight to read.
In this specific book, the author makes a self deep analysis of his relationship with this late wife. It once again presents us with a magnificent piece of writing that makes all of us set questions firstly to ourselves and secondary to our fellow earthlings.
Reading the book got a profound feeling of sadness for a future that never came and also content and happiness for a short period that the author and his wife spend together.
It is a beautiful and cathartic book, and I highly recommend it to anyone that lost someone close and is looking for some kind of closure.
Mathias B. Freese wrote the ultimate eulogy and made sure that Nina's posthumous fame will be around for a long time.
Well written, addictive, and genuine.
Nina's Memento Mori by Mathias B Freese, like all of his books, is a delight to read.
In this specific book, the author makes a self deep analysis of his relationship with this late wife. It once again presents us with a magnificent piece of writing that makes all of us set questions firstly to ourselves and secondary to our fellow earthlings.
Reading the book got a profound feeling of sadness for a future that never came and also content and happiness for a short period that the author and his wife spend together.
It is a beautiful and cathartic book, and I highly recommend it to anyone that lost someone close and is looking for some kind of closure.
Mathias B. Freese wrote the ultimate eulogy and made sure that Nina's posthumous fame will be around for a long time.
Well written, addictive, and genuine.
October 21, 2019
Sometimes pain tends to get masked behind a sense of narcissism, especially when it involves your significant other.
Nina's Memento Mori is a kind of self introspection that the author indulges in as he writes about himself remembering his wife. He focuses on himself as he narrates incidents revolving around his wife. This elegy is more of an autobiography as per me.
Mathias does write straight from the heart. Some readers might find it hard to relate through the narration, however, those who have lost their spouses to death would very well understand the emotions underlying this piece of writing. There are breaks in the narration but these are like deliberate attempts to both break the monotony in writing as well as to portray the train of thoughts as they happened. The language is not simple but that is a trademark of a writer with vast amount of writing experience behind him.
To say that Nina was his inspiration to write would be an understatement. In fact, she is exactly the kind of woman who inspired the writer in him to continue writing and try to heal with. The fact that he still misses her is evident from the writings.
Death of a spouse is a strange thing. It changes the very essence that shapes you up. Trust me as I say so because my words come with seven years of experience, thanks to the death of my spouse. To be honest, the pain that is left behind because of the loss cannot be explained. Its also not something that one can easily heal from. Healing in such cases is a slow process and it is evident that Mathias is slowly but surely moving towards the path of healing. Like every such individual's journey, he has his own questions, own internal conflicts that he has to encounter.
To sum up, if you are one of those whose spouse died and are confused about your train of thoughts, then please read this real life story. Its about a man who loved his wife and still loves her enough to believe that she will somehow be instrumental in him finding inner peace. This is a revelation where emotions are raw, wounds are open and pain speaks through silence. It is a book to be felt by the empath inside every individual. It is an excellent and amazing writing for the courage exhibited by a man who is heartbroken but still leaves no stone unturned to heal himself. It is a toast to inner strength and the phoenix residing in every broken man and woman who have loved and lost their love to death.
P.S- Thank you Mathias for an excellent piece of writing. May you make peace with yourself the way I have. I took almost five years to heal and I pray that you bounce back faster. This review is my honest opinion after voluntarily reading this writing. I have not received nor do I intend to receive any renumeration in exchange of my honest views.
Nina's Memento Mori is a kind of self introspection that the author indulges in as he writes about himself remembering his wife. He focuses on himself as he narrates incidents revolving around his wife. This elegy is more of an autobiography as per me.
Mathias does write straight from the heart. Some readers might find it hard to relate through the narration, however, those who have lost their spouses to death would very well understand the emotions underlying this piece of writing. There are breaks in the narration but these are like deliberate attempts to both break the monotony in writing as well as to portray the train of thoughts as they happened. The language is not simple but that is a trademark of a writer with vast amount of writing experience behind him.
To say that Nina was his inspiration to write would be an understatement. In fact, she is exactly the kind of woman who inspired the writer in him to continue writing and try to heal with. The fact that he still misses her is evident from the writings.
Death of a spouse is a strange thing. It changes the very essence that shapes you up. Trust me as I say so because my words come with seven years of experience, thanks to the death of my spouse. To be honest, the pain that is left behind because of the loss cannot be explained. Its also not something that one can easily heal from. Healing in such cases is a slow process and it is evident that Mathias is slowly but surely moving towards the path of healing. Like every such individual's journey, he has his own questions, own internal conflicts that he has to encounter.
To sum up, if you are one of those whose spouse died and are confused about your train of thoughts, then please read this real life story. Its about a man who loved his wife and still loves her enough to believe that she will somehow be instrumental in him finding inner peace. This is a revelation where emotions are raw, wounds are open and pain speaks through silence. It is a book to be felt by the empath inside every individual. It is an excellent and amazing writing for the courage exhibited by a man who is heartbroken but still leaves no stone unturned to heal himself. It is a toast to inner strength and the phoenix residing in every broken man and woman who have loved and lost their love to death.
P.S- Thank you Mathias for an excellent piece of writing. May you make peace with yourself the way I have. I took almost five years to heal and I pray that you bounce back faster. This review is my honest opinion after voluntarily reading this writing. I have not received nor do I intend to receive any renumeration in exchange of my honest views.
March 8, 2020
When I got my copy of Nina’s Memento Mori, I was excited to take it on, but also felt a little trepidation. I was excited because I have read some of the author’s other work and know him to be a skilled and honest writer. I love his book This Mobius Strip of Ifs and have recommended it multiple times to readers who I know would appreciate the particular genre.
I was a little nervous because the topic of the book seemed a risky one. Not that he presents such a raw and honest picture of himself, but because the book is focused on the author rather than the reader. It is an analysis of his mind state, his emotion, his existence, in the wake of a deep loss. I was afraid that a reader not facing anything similar may not be able to connect with the writing.
And therein lies my major suggestion to readers considering this book. It is a very specific book, for a very specific reader, looking for a very specific thing. It does exactly what it promises, and delivers some beautiful wordsmithing along the way. It follows a man’s exploration of himself in the wake of loss. Readers who are facing down the same existential sorrows as Freese may find solace, advice, and company in these pages. Readers who are not, like myself, may not be able to cross that bridge from sympathy to empathy, because these pages do not really attempt to make the reader feel what Freese feels. The book does not invest the reader in Nina as a person or character, so her loss may not pain them as it does the author. If they relate to this book, it will likely be through their own experiences with grief.
Grief is a major theme in this book, and it is not just grief for a lost loved one, though that is clearly prominent. Freese also grieves for his many years only half-lived due to an upbringing which left him ill-prepared for life. He grieves for the existential state of humanity, a sad and beautifully short blip in the universe. Those who enjoy thinking about the intricacies of existence and the way in which humans experience it will find plenty of interesting, philosophical nuggets to chew on. Those experiencing their own existential doubts might find the words helpful.
Personally, I found this book well-written and often quite beautiful, but I was left wondering what I was supposed to take away from it. I never felt personally affected by the author’s grief though I was reading about it. I never felt as if I knew Nina. I could relate to the author’s upbringing and its effect on his life and love, but it wasn’t enough to suck me in and keep me reading. But for readers looking for answers and comfort in their own grief, it just might be.
Disclosure: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was a little nervous because the topic of the book seemed a risky one. Not that he presents such a raw and honest picture of himself, but because the book is focused on the author rather than the reader. It is an analysis of his mind state, his emotion, his existence, in the wake of a deep loss. I was afraid that a reader not facing anything similar may not be able to connect with the writing.
And therein lies my major suggestion to readers considering this book. It is a very specific book, for a very specific reader, looking for a very specific thing. It does exactly what it promises, and delivers some beautiful wordsmithing along the way. It follows a man’s exploration of himself in the wake of loss. Readers who are facing down the same existential sorrows as Freese may find solace, advice, and company in these pages. Readers who are not, like myself, may not be able to cross that bridge from sympathy to empathy, because these pages do not really attempt to make the reader feel what Freese feels. The book does not invest the reader in Nina as a person or character, so her loss may not pain them as it does the author. If they relate to this book, it will likely be through their own experiences with grief.
Grief is a major theme in this book, and it is not just grief for a lost loved one, though that is clearly prominent. Freese also grieves for his many years only half-lived due to an upbringing which left him ill-prepared for life. He grieves for the existential state of humanity, a sad and beautifully short blip in the universe. Those who enjoy thinking about the intricacies of existence and the way in which humans experience it will find plenty of interesting, philosophical nuggets to chew on. Those experiencing their own existential doubts might find the words helpful.
Personally, I found this book well-written and often quite beautiful, but I was left wondering what I was supposed to take away from it. I never felt personally affected by the author’s grief though I was reading about it. I never felt as if I knew Nina. I could relate to the author’s upbringing and its effect on his life and love, but it wasn’t enough to suck me in and keep me reading. But for readers looking for answers and comfort in their own grief, it just might be.
Disclosure: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 23, 2021
I have no doubt my much appreciated readers remember the name Mathias B. Freese. I reviewed his memoir When I’m Alone.
Mr. Freese is back with another memoir, this time about his relationship with his late second wife, Nina. This memoir is called Nina’s Memento Mori.
Two lovebirds in their golden years, Mathias and Nina meet in a very modern way-e.harmony.com. They bond over troubled childhoods, failed relationships, heartbreak, shared interests, and so on. But they connected the way that knows no age-true blue love.
One way Mathias and Nina bonded was through a shared love of movies. Freese uses various film terms like fade-in, dissolve, close-up, and director’s cut. And Nina’s Memento Mori is divided into five parts:
Ticket, please
Four Takes
Intermission: Tesserae
Cutting Room
Coda
As a movie fan-especially of the classics-I loved this clever touch.
Throughout Nina’s Memento Mori are photographs. Some are of Nina as a little girl with blonde curls, wearing pinafores and smiling in a way that belies here problematic homelife. And then there are photos of Nina as young woman, slender and, gamine. Her face is both stoic and lovely, determined to overcome her past as only she can. She has a beauty no longer welcomed in an age of plastic Instagram models and reality show manneqins.
Freese writes in a style that is sensitive and compelling, but never maudlin and self-pitying. He writes so vividly of Nina and their marriage that I can’t help but see this book in cinematic form. Who should play Nina? Then again perhaps Nina Memento Mori is best served not touched by celluloid. I am satisfied to see Nina in my mind’s eye.
Originally published at The Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...
Mr. Freese is back with another memoir, this time about his relationship with his late second wife, Nina. This memoir is called Nina’s Memento Mori.
Two lovebirds in their golden years, Mathias and Nina meet in a very modern way-e.harmony.com. They bond over troubled childhoods, failed relationships, heartbreak, shared interests, and so on. But they connected the way that knows no age-true blue love.
One way Mathias and Nina bonded was through a shared love of movies. Freese uses various film terms like fade-in, dissolve, close-up, and director’s cut. And Nina’s Memento Mori is divided into five parts:
Ticket, please
Four Takes
Intermission: Tesserae
Cutting Room
Coda
As a movie fan-especially of the classics-I loved this clever touch.
Throughout Nina’s Memento Mori are photographs. Some are of Nina as a little girl with blonde curls, wearing pinafores and smiling in a way that belies here problematic homelife. And then there are photos of Nina as young woman, slender and, gamine. Her face is both stoic and lovely, determined to overcome her past as only she can. She has a beauty no longer welcomed in an age of plastic Instagram models and reality show manneqins.
Freese writes in a style that is sensitive and compelling, but never maudlin and self-pitying. He writes so vividly of Nina and their marriage that I can’t help but see this book in cinematic form. Who should play Nina? Then again perhaps Nina Memento Mori is best served not touched by celluloid. I am satisfied to see Nina in my mind’s eye.
Originally published at The Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...
March 26, 2020
The Review
Once again Mathias beautifully illustrates the literary genius that he is while also delving into one of the most difficult concepts of life as a whole, and that is the loss of a loved one. The author has crafted a beautiful, tragic and heartfelt dedication to his late wife, not only showcasing her own life but viewing himself through her eyes.
Touching on the stages grief takes us all through, from the regrets of things not said or done to the memories that keep our loved ones in our hearts and more, the author has shown that memories are one of the many ways that we as people honor and keep the life of those who are no longer here alive.
The Verdict
A must-read book filled with beautifully artistic writing and an emotional journey many of us can identify with, “Nina’s Memento Mori” by Mathias B. Freese is a one of a kind dedicated to the author’s late wife. The book’s emotional core and the author’s feelings for his late wife are felt throughout, and his honest and no-holds-bar approach to the subject makes for an honest and gripping look into the life of both the author and his late wife. A very identifiable read, be sure to grab your copies today!
Once again Mathias beautifully illustrates the literary genius that he is while also delving into one of the most difficult concepts of life as a whole, and that is the loss of a loved one. The author has crafted a beautiful, tragic and heartfelt dedication to his late wife, not only showcasing her own life but viewing himself through her eyes.
Touching on the stages grief takes us all through, from the regrets of things not said or done to the memories that keep our loved ones in our hearts and more, the author has shown that memories are one of the many ways that we as people honor and keep the life of those who are no longer here alive.
The Verdict
A must-read book filled with beautifully artistic writing and an emotional journey many of us can identify with, “Nina’s Memento Mori” by Mathias B. Freese is a one of a kind dedicated to the author’s late wife. The book’s emotional core and the author’s feelings for his late wife are felt throughout, and his honest and no-holds-bar approach to the subject makes for an honest and gripping look into the life of both the author and his late wife. A very identifiable read, be sure to grab your copies today!
January 4, 2020
I have known Matt Freese in a professional relationship for several years. He has graciously shared his book with me. Matt is a courageous writer. On every page of his works, he reveals not only his astonishing intellect and his skill at wordcraft, but the reader is also granted emotional access to Matt's innermost thoughts and secrets. His pain, joy, regret, enthusiasm and sadness draw us in, encouraging, if not requiring us to examine our own behaviors, fears and foibles. His Nina's Memento Mori is evidence of Matt at his most revealing. Perhaps, having met the gracious and lovely Nina, I am more connected than some, but this poignant, reflective and painful book will, and should, have a great impact on those who read it.
April 8, 2020
Heart-rending and Honest Memoir
A soul-bearing memoir on how the author is tackling with the grief and love for his wife, Nina.
The author takes the readers on an emotional journey as a time traveler from reflections of childhood, life situations that rattled him, the recollection of memories from how they met, tragic experiences, loneliness, and pain.
Portrays pure love and honest thoughts about Nina with his unique style of writing.
Thought-provoking poetries and unfinished memoir touch you.
No words can express the emptiness and pain one goes through.
A soul-bearing memoir on how the author is tackling with the grief and love for his wife, Nina.
The author takes the readers on an emotional journey as a time traveler from reflections of childhood, life situations that rattled him, the recollection of memories from how they met, tragic experiences, loneliness, and pain.
Portrays pure love and honest thoughts about Nina with his unique style of writing.
Thought-provoking poetries and unfinished memoir touch you.
No words can express the emptiness and pain one goes through.
March 16, 2020
'Memento mori.' Latin for 'remember you must die.' Or a reminder that death is inevitable. An unusual title for a book. But the author is an unusual writer. His writing is deep, intellectual, expressive and very sincere.
I was expecting a tribute to his tragically deceased wife, Nina. It was, yes, but it was also so, so much more. A wife for only a very very short time, a soulmate…two people who found each other quite late in life, both, I think, regretting they hadn't found each other sooner. Both have/had troubled and cruel pasts: pasts which moulded their futures. And this is part of what bonded them so closely. But aside from telling the reader why he loved Nina so much, he talks to us candidly about himself: warts and all.
It's hard not to read this without equal amounts of sorrow and joy. Sorrow for their unfortunate experiences and joy for the blissful, but short, period of happiness they ultimately found. It's a book of candour, intimacy, honesty and baring of the soul.
Most authors' requests to read and review their books come with anticipated gratitude. They hope you'll say yes and hope they'll get a five-star review. However, I always feel it's the other way round: I'm the one who is grateful to have been asked.
This is a (short) book you feel extremely privileged to have been asked to read.
I was expecting a tribute to his tragically deceased wife, Nina. It was, yes, but it was also so, so much more. A wife for only a very very short time, a soulmate…two people who found each other quite late in life, both, I think, regretting they hadn't found each other sooner. Both have/had troubled and cruel pasts: pasts which moulded their futures. And this is part of what bonded them so closely. But aside from telling the reader why he loved Nina so much, he talks to us candidly about himself: warts and all.
It's hard not to read this without equal amounts of sorrow and joy. Sorrow for their unfortunate experiences and joy for the blissful, but short, period of happiness they ultimately found. It's a book of candour, intimacy, honesty and baring of the soul.
Most authors' requests to read and review their books come with anticipated gratitude. They hope you'll say yes and hope they'll get a five-star review. However, I always feel it's the other way round: I'm the one who is grateful to have been asked.
This is a (short) book you feel extremely privileged to have been asked to read.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews