Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother

by Alexa Bigwarfe (Editor), Regina Petsch (Contributor), Kathy Radigan (Contributor)

A compelling read from start to finish, this supportive guide to navigating pregnancy and infant loss will arm you with life-changing tools that will help you feel part of a dynamic community. The complexities of pregnancy and infant loss are explored by survivors themselves rendering this must-read book a first hand personal narrative that invites people to feel less alone in the aftermath of such devastating experiences. Grief knows no timeline and this thoughtful book does an exceptional job of explicating ways that society could more sensitively embody this concept by normalizing the spectrum of mourning. Profound losses create seismic changes in self-image, relationships, and overall identity. Many women blame themselves for their reproductive hardships and harbor monumental shame as a result. Contributors delve into crevices of their minds and hearts and courageously express the complexities of their processes- journeys that should be shared and not silenced, providing enlivening inspiration and raw accounts of how life perspectives are invariably altered in the wake of loss. This accessible guide provides valuable tips and resources for grieving families which serve as a grounding way to acknowledge the pain, ease the grief, and explore pockets of hope....

344 pages, Paperback

First published October 10, 2013

Reviews

[RaeBeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sunshine After the Storm was picked off of my list, or should I say unexpectedly added to my reading to review list, because of the loss I have just recently went through. I've given birth to a stillborn and I've been reading about this subject matter since. I saw this book while surfing through Amazon looking for another grief book.

This book is filled with personal stories of loss with a touch of inspiration. Although I find that most of the subject matter is on miscarriages or multiple losses, I think this could benefit someone who has been there. The few stories on Stillbirth hit home for me and the inspiration that was given from the stories, are a blessing. I can't thank the women enough for reaching out to others and giving them hope.

Although at times this book was hard to read because of the editing, I would recommend it to any and all grieving parents. Not just the mothers. Fathers too. If a father were to read this, he could see some bits of what the mother of the baby is going through. I'd also say this is a good read for those who want to understand what a grieving parent is going through, even if the loss happened years ago.

[Hilary Grossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sunshine after the storm is not the typical book I would read. I am not a mother and I never had a miscarriage. I downloaded my copy to support a fellow blogger who I have been following for years who is contributor to the book. I honestly thought that I would skim the beginning of the book and then just search for her entry. That is NOT what happened.

I was hooked from the first page and read the book cover to cover in one sitting. I was completely touched by the honesty and emotion that was shared on every page. By the time I finished the book I felt like I knew all the families as well as the angel babies…

These families and these babies haunted me (but in a good way). I felt so honored to get to know these babies who never even had a chance… But by far the best part was reading an entry written by a dad. This entry really makes you look at me (and women) differently - as well as realize we really are all the same, we may just not be comfortab to admit it...

[Jill Flinton · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of writings from moms who have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth. There are also writings from other moms who have experienced child loss too. But even if you aren't a member of this "Invisible Circle" you will learn about how to be around those who have. Well worth the read for everyone.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing guidebook for the grieving mother. Full of nothing but love and support and women who understand, this book is one of a kind.

[Alexa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful resource for grieving parents and those who support them.

Merged review:

The only of it's kind. A compilation of grieving mothers (and fathers) share their experiences and tips for surviving after the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or child.

[Rana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this book by my hospital after my unexpected and devastating stillbirth. Overall, I think it's a great book of essays by mothers (and a few by fathers) who have experienced all kinds of loss: miscarriages, stillbirths, etc. Some stories were extremely relatable, and some were not relatable at all, which is par for the course for this type of book. Some stories were cathartic and made me cry, while others didn't, and that may not be due to the stories themselves, and instead may be caused by my own feelings at the moment I read them. Grief is incredibly strange like that, but I appreciate that this book was a way to commiserate with others who have gone through similar losses.

I have one concern about this book: There were feelings that were unrelatable to me, for example, many mothers who felt that they or their body failed the baby they lost. Of course that is a valid feeling to have while grieving, but I personally did not feel that way about my loss, and these stories did make me question whether I /should/ feel that my body failed my baby. Luckily I snapped out of it and chose not to add additional guilt to my life. But it does concern me a little that a grieving mother may read those types of stories and add to her grief, instead of subtract. I am not entirely sure how the book could have handled that better, as the point is to show a variety of experiences, so unfortunately I think that is just a downside of this type of book.

[Karreen Ghena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading the words of other loss moms was comforting to me, but I didn't really connect with many of the authors of the stories. From what I recall, there was only one writer who was childless both before and after her loss, and there were only a few that mentioned infertility. Most of the writers had children prior to their loss, while the few that did not have children prior to their loss write about their success in having living children afterward. While having other children does not at all diminish the pain these moms experienced and still experience, it does make it hard for me, an "invisible mother" who has no living baby, who also has infertility and went through IVF, to really feel like I could see my grief in the same light as these authors'. I need different stories, stories where I could envision the author as "me". Still, I did find many of the experiences after loss that a few of the mothers discussed (unintentionally harmful things people say, postpartum experiences after stillbirth) to be relatable.

[Memory · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

this book took me a while to pick up. I didn't want to read about others losses for a long time. it was a healing read for me. I needed to hear these stories. if for no other reason than to show me what an amazing support system I have. I was blessed to have people understand and not minimize my loss. Linda and Ashlynn are waiting for me in heaven. I truly believe that.

[Mona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sunshine After The Storm is an amazing and special read for anyone who has lost a child, no matter when - pregnancy, infancy, or beyond. It is a strong reminder that the grief we feel is normal, that while the pain won't go away it does change and we can learn to find and accept happiness again, and that we will do it only in our own time. My heart goes out to any woman who also knows this pain. You are not alone. ❤️

[Lizzi Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book full of stories of grief, loss, tragedy and ultimately, in the end, HOPE - shared by those who've lived through the worst pain imaginable - the death of their child.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of stories of grieving mothers on the loss of their children, through miscarriage and stillbirth. Beautiful and touching.

[C. Lee Reed · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so necessary and beautifully written. A must read for those surviving heartache.

[Liz Whiston-Dean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gift to grieving mothers who may feel alone in the world. I am thankful for it.