Madonna and Child

by Melissa Benn

Benn argues that there has been an unrecognised social revolution centering on experience of motherhood versus society's ideas of women's lives in the 90s. Whilst women are supposed to have it all there is a gap between women's experience of being mothers and societal perceptions of motherhood. Originally published in 1998 by Jonathan Cape.

278 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

Reviews

[Pippa Catterall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book is nearly 30 years old, so much feels contemporary in 2025. Not least, problems of social deprivation continue to afflict too many mothers. Too many continue to face the kinds of barriers placed by the state described here. Indeed, affordability issues around access to key assets have made the situation worse. Drawing on her own experiences and those of various mothers she interviewed around the UK, Melissa Benn sketches the challenges of being a mother in late 1990s Britain. She critically assesses the idea that women can (or should) have it all and the parallel rise of the female celebrities who apparently did. The false promises of so-called reality TV obscured the grinding realities of most mothers’ lives. In keeping with the times, Benn’s book focuses considerable attention on the relationship between motherhood and work. More probably needs to be said about how an effective support system for mothers might function. Benn recognises that the mythic New Man of the late twentieth century is not enough in most cases. That points to the need to change the culture of long hours at work but also to a better tax-benefit system. If she were to update it now, Melissa might also make points about the availability and quality of housing. Not least, she points to the need for mothers to be valued.