Co-Laborers, Co-Heirs: A Family Conversation

by Brittany Smith, Doug Serven, Scott Sauls

While our church doctrine teaches that men and women are co-laborers and co-heirs in Christ, does our practice reflect that truth? And what do we lose in our failures? To serve effectively together as brothers and sisters, we must be able to speak about good and hard things. These essays by our sisters and mothers in the church can help us know, grow and do better. Here are redemptive celebrations, gentle corrections, and winsome invitations from the diversity of women God has given as gifts to the church body. Read and listen well so that may we better serve each other and God's kingdom.

Genres: Faith

318 pages, Paperback

Published June 8, 2019

Reviews

[Easton Tally · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5, this is a book that was immensely helpful in hearing the perspective of women within ministry and the life of the church. Much to learn here.

[Olivia Bedenbaugh]

Obviously I enjoyed, connected with, and agreed with some essays more than others. However it was really good for me to engage my heart with these stories and perspectives. I learned a lot! I would recommend this to anyone in or going into ministry. I would double recommend this to any of my reformed friends.

**BUT I will NOT be letting anyone borrow this book from me. Sorry, you have to buy your own copy because the proceeds go directly to help fund RUF Campus Staff across the country and all the Campus Staff I have encountered are pretty cool.

[Erika Forrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are involved in a church, you need to read this. Even if your church is "egalitarian" and ordains women, you need to read this. This is a book about where and how women are left out of the church. It's not just about the PCA or just about complementarianism. This is a book about women. It's worth your time to understand what women are experiencing and feeling so we can fill the gaps to assure that all women are held as co-heirs in Christ.

[Libby Valerio · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5🌟

This book is compilation of essays (of women/men in the PCA church) - most of which I enjoyed learning from their experiences! Some felt repetitive. Seems like these women & men are genuinely trying to wrestle with the gap between their denominations theology vs how women are actually valued in church life. I appreciated the content of engaging in a complicated topic, even if not every section fully landed for me. My biggest takeaway was probs how many women serving in their churches, in various contexts, shared that what they wanted was a teamwork type effort with their male oversights. Great to digest!

[Rebecca Tredway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a 41 year old woman who not only attends a PCA church, but I love my church. I’ve long been a part of PCA spaces and because I love it here, I also want to see it grow, improve, and follow Christ year after year.

This book is filled with a variety of voices speaking to female experiences in the PCA. It contains stories, encouragements, exhortations, and advice—and as I read I could feel my own story of joys and disappointments being told.

Thank you to all who contributed chapters. I encourage anyone else who loves our denomination to read and consider your wisdom.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of essays is required reading for anyone who is part of the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America), and with plenty of relevance for others in theologically conservative/complementarian churches.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a collection of short essays written by (mostly) women and (a few) men in the PCA about how the complementarian church has impacted their identity and experience as members, leaders, and children of God. Some are deeply theological, some are deeply personal, most are a mix. All have important questions and points that I hope the male leadership is listening to and will respond to. Though the book is very readable, it was hard to get through because of the weight of what is said. It's exhausting and sad to read about the ways the church has failed and is failing to equip and listen to and include and serve women in the various ways these women have experienced. The subtitle includes the word "conversation," and I hope this book starts one. But reading it, you get the sense that many of these women have tried to have the conversation, but no one in their male church leadership is listening. It seemed a strange choice to have a handful to essays written by men at the end that were part of the collection, but not responding directly to what was written by the women in previous chapters.

A few specific notes -


In an essay by Scott Sauls, he uses a metaphor about the men being the head but the women being the neck, but it is not a good example for what he is trying to say. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding when the mother says that, she is really saying that she can manipulate her husband into doing whatever she wants, and he'll think it is his idea. Not exactly what we'd want out of women and men working well together!

In the words of one of the contributors, Rondi Lauterbach, "Why have I shared my experience with you, when yours might be quite different? Am I simply being the voice of cynicism saying, “Take heart, it could be worse!” No. I shared because I want to be a voice of change for our churches and a voice of hope for individual women."

Later, her husband Mark writes "My experience is this: the problem is rarely about roles. Most of the difficulties I have had (or have observed with others) with women in the Church have not been resolved by clarifying roles. They have been resolved by my repenting of my male hubris and disrespect for women."

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was good to hear from women in the church expressing the frustrations I’ve had about how the Bible has been twisted by some to justify marginalizing and demeaning women.

I wish the last section had been titled “A Word *For* Our Brothers” rather than “A Word *From* Our Brothers”. After reading essay after essay about how women’s opinions have not been sought out by some men in the church, some essays in this section had an air of tokenism.

However, I’m very glad to see that the PCA is exploring how women can use their gifts and talents in the church, and not just in the children’s and women’s ministries (although those ministries would cease to exist without the hard-working women who give their time and talent to them).

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a helpful family conversation to consider how we value women in the PCA. Similar to Serven's book, Heal Us Emmanuel, the collection of essays offered a variety of perspectives and thoughts of how to come alongside the marginalized in our churches. There were some contributions that brought me to tears as they resonated so much with my personal experience of being a woman in the PCA. But some of the chapters were quite repetitive. Also, I found it interesting that this end of this book were six chapters written by men-- was it critical to give them the last word? I found that frustrating. I think this book is a must-read though and hopefully will jumpstart actual in-person conversations with our brothers and sisters in Christ about how to move forward positive change.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Needed conversation

Appreciate Smith & Serven putting together very timely dialogue for understanding the Biblical role/place of men & women in the home, community & church. Tough reality for many in the PCA to hear, sense God’s conviction and respond in a positive fashion. Time for Biblical change to happen!

[Will · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this should be required reading for all pastors (esp in the PCA). Wish I’d read it earlier. I enjoyed some essays more than others but on almost every page my perspective was broadened and my blindspots exposed. May the Lord make the church more of a true family where sisters are encouraged to utilize their gifts alongside their brothers!

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book with discussions about women's roles in the PCA denomination. An honest attempt to try and wrestle with the PCA's scriptural position and the disconnect within functional roles of women in the church. Obviously when a book is a compilation of essays there are some that resonate more significantly.

[Katrina Fannin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling call for much-needed change in the way the church sees, treats, listens to, and provides service opportunities for women and their gifts. A compilation of essays written in humble, gracious, nuanced language that calls people to discourse on this topic in the same tone. A must-read for every pastor, elder, and church-member.

[Jenn Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoughtful and thought-provoking

It is a very interesting collection of views from quite a few different people. They have different backgrounds and perspectives, but they all love their church and seek to honor God. I didn’t agree with each contributor’s views, but I learned from each of them. It gave me a lot to chew on.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a slog. Some essays were extremely helpful (being a Black single mom in the PCA) while many said the same thing in different ways (we need to appreciate the gifts of women in the church). Favorite essays were the aforementioned, and the one by Doug Severn.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great compendium of wisdom and thoughtfulness that pushes back on complimentarianism but not for the sake of egalitarianism within the church. Really appreciated reading so many different women's contributions to the conversation in one volume. The men brought valuable insight as well.

[Katie Ribera · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential conversation and a gift to the churches of the PCA. A must-read for the reformed evangelical church.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend

[Blair Cofield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely recommend for a conversation catalyst about women in the PCA, and includes many practical solutions, which so many books like this seem to neglect.