Red Thread of Passion

by David Guy

Is sex an enemy that must be subdued before spiritual practice can happen, or is it a powerful creative force and a vehicle of enlightenment? There may be no completely satisfying answer—though the question has engendered discussion for centuries. David Guy's contribution takes the form of a personal exploration of the place of sex in his own life and meditation practice, as well as in the lives and work of figures he has come to regard as pioneers on the boundaries of sex and Walt Whitman, D. H. Lawrence, Alan Watts, and the erotic writer Marco Vassi among them. It also includes accounts of his pilgrimages to contemporary theorists, activists, and sex workers.

From poets to prostitutes, everyone has something to say, even though the reconciliation of sex and spirituality may always remain something of a paradox—as expressed in the Zen koan from which the title is "Why is it that the most clear-eyed monk cannot sever the red thread of passion between his legs?" David Guy's answer is this honest and compelling exploration of the nature of desire.

Genres: Sexuality, Spirituality, Philosophy

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 20, 1999

About the author

I was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which in some way still seems like home, though I haven’t lived there for years. I attended Shady Side Academy, graduating in 1966, and enrolled from there in Duke University, where I studied with Reynolds Price and Wallace Fowlie, earning a BA and eventually an MAT. My first job was as an English teacher at Forsyth Country Day School in Winston-Salem. I moved back to Durham in 1976, and have lived here ever since, except for a two-year stay in Cambridge while my wife was in graduate school.

I was eleven years old when I first saw that there was something about language that fascinated me, fifteen when I decided—God help me—that I wanted to be a writer. Though I have worked in libraries and taught at various schools and in different capacities, writing has been my true vocation. I have sometimes thought of it as the work I do, other times as a pastime, but it has always been the activity I most enjoy. In the decade beginning when I was 32, I published four novels, Football Dreams (1980), The Man Who Loved Dirty Books (1983), Second Brother (1985), and The Autobiography of My Body (1990). I also published articles in various publications during those years, and was active as a book reviewer.

In 1991, when my wife dragged me to a class at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center, I discovered the spiritual practice that became central to my life, and grew interested in Buddhism. I think of myself as a “householder yogin” (in the words of Reginald Ray, quoting Chogyam Trungpa) and see “the sitting practice of meditation” as my “primary life commitment.” I have practiced in the Vipassana, Tibetan, and Zen traditions, but don’t consider those distinctions important. Since 1995 I have practiced with Josho Pat Phelan at the Chapel Hill Zen Center, with regular forays back to the Insight Meditation Society.

I worked with my first meditation teacher, Larry Rosenberg, on two books, Breath by Breath: The Liberating Practice of Insight Meditation (1994) and Living in the Light of Death: On the Art of Being Truly Alive (2001). I wrote for various Buddhist publications during those years, and published The Red Thread of Passion: Spirituality and the Paradox of Sex (1999).

In 2001 I began working at Duke’s Sanford School of Public Policy, teaching in both the MPP and Hart Leadership Programs. I retired in 2014, though I still work part-time for Hart Leadership. Working at Duke freed me to get back to narrative writing, and in 2007 I published Jake Fades: A Novel of Impermanence. I currently live part of the year in Durham and part in Asheville, and spend my time writing, reading, sitting, swimming at various pools, taking long walks, and getting together with friends.

Reviews

[Josh Rollins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd probably toss this book away into the pile of "meh" at many other periods in my life, but somehow, it found me just at the right moment.

Guy is very much into Zen and Buddhism, but he doesn't try to convince you his way is the best, as many other books about sex and spirituality would. As a matter of fact, he was one of the few people who admitted to be confused and unsure of themselves at the moment where everyone else around me - besides me - were pretty damn sure about themselves.

So people think they have the right idea about sex. From traditional religious settings on one hand, to the total free-for-all ritualistic cocktail of spirituality I heard in sexual discussions in my kink community, everyone knows what works. Everyone had great advice for me. Hell, as a person who sees himself as a sexual mentor of sorts to both of my partners, I see *myself* as a know-it-all, more-experienced-than-though kinkster, and most of my second dates end up in the bedroom.

What this book did for me is not just inform me that I know exactly jack shit, but more importantly, that it's OK to know nothing. That it is the only way to be. That sexuality, even though he biggest puzzle of our lives, is not meant to be solved. Ever.

This book found me in the midst of questioning my sex habits and sexuality, which is why it went under my radar. I always knew there's a powerful connection between sex and spirituality and that rather I want to or not, I'm on the path to explore both, especially in the lifestyle I picked for myself.

So if you consider yourself open to new ideas, if you are not satisfied with where western religion defined sex for us, but at the same time, you still think it is something sacred and even holy that should be cherished, this book is for you. If, on the other hand, you're pretty happy where you are and you think you like where you stand, don't bother. I just hope you realize you're wrong - for your own good :)

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

A more accurate title would have been "A Writer Obsesses about Sex by Admiring Other Highly Sexed Writers, Then Concludes There Are No Conclusions." There are a few insights mixed with a lot of cloudy (and explicit) enthusiasm.

[John]

This is the book I want my students in Sexuality and Spirituality to read.. on their own.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far this book has proven to be an eye opener. I have been fascinated with the topic of men writing about sex ever since I started reading Marco Vassi. David Guy not only goes there, he stays there to contemplate and observe for the rest of us. I will post a full review when I am finished. I am pretty sure already that this will be another book I give to everyone and their brother, it is that important.

[Judy Lindow]

This book was 2.00 in the discounted books at my local 2nd hand book store. Um. Shambhala press? Read a page. Must be here for a reason. 2 weeks later. Still here. Must be here for me. Brought the book home and started reading about Marco Vassi. Um. Will write a review later.

Not porn - not romance - sounds like an unusual find.

[E Jeanne Harnois · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoughtful discussion on sex from a male perspective that's longer than one sentence and isn't porn. Who knew!?! The "book" on sex I can imagine a guy writing: "Sex is good...oh wait, the game's on."