Choosing the Dark

by Brian T. Marshall

San Francisco. 1982. The hippies have fled, Punk's on its death-bed, and rumors of a mysterious new disease are starting to hit the streets. All in all, not the best of times to declare the City your new home.But with high school now behind him, Rob Walstein couldn't care less. So he leaves Mill Valley, finds an apartment, meets a club-hopping hellion named Annie, a sometimes art major who's been sleeping her way through the tightknit club scene. And it's through her that he meets Kurt Wagner, poet and troubled front-man, eventually falling under his spell, and joining his latest band.But sometimes life's promises turn to ash. Sunlight gives way to shadows. And Rob soon discovers that in seeking a future, he's chosen the dark instead.

248 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 17, 2019

Reviews

[Lennie Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

A coming of age novel set in 1980s San Francisco. :) With music, clubs, and a narcissist band member.

I'll give anything a try if I think it sounds interesting, and "Choosing the Dark" definitely delivered on that!

After finishing high school, our main character, Rob Walstein, sets off into the world to find himself. ah, adulting! Barely making rent, living away from your parents for the first time, finding your more adult self, and dealing with more complicated relationships! So much fun.

It really was, actually. :) I really enjoyed this book.

The writing is lovely, and the characters feel very real, especially Rob, though I think Annie was my favorite character. Everything is described in great detail, and I loved the setting. The writing/prose really made the world of 1980s San Francisco really come alive.

Recommended for fans of realistic novels and music lovers.

[Samantha Henthorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not Spinal Tap, but I thought it was awesome! Rob leaves his cabinet making dad for the city and moves in with his older medical student sister Karen. Her housemate Annie is cool, good looking and takes him under her wing. Before Rob knows it, he is drumming in an alternative band led by frontman narcissist Kurt. I enjoyed this storyline and setting of San Francisco and the startings of a musical venture. Varied characters from Rob growing up, his uptight sister and cold as ice mother plus Kurt - a star in his own eyes inventing a paranormal twist for himself when his health is compromised. It must have been scary when HIV was discovered - sensitively written about here. This book is a well-written, captured snapshot in a young man's life where mortality is realised, and maturity gained; bonus of a plot and setting of interest to a current 40 something.

[Jo Sparkes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rob Walstein, 17, is done with high school, and avoiding college. Surrounded by over achieving women (his mom is a brilliant musician, top professor at college, his sister studying medicine at college with her own place. And Rob leaves a very affluent home to share a tiny place in a not so great area of San Francisco, supporting himself as a dishwasher.

Rob is a drummer – and finds a band. The lead singer is a trial for all – but somehow, in his pushing and pushing, they find something special. Or at least Rob think so. Suddenly we find Rob may be right to pursue his own music, his own talent.

I’ll confess, it took me a bit to get used to the author’s prose style. But he also has some great descriptions that made me smile. The characters are real, and the sense of family is that unique combination of bickering and solidarity in the face of trouble. If you like gritty tales with strong characters and unpredictable events, check out Choosing the Dark.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gritty and incredibly well written. This reads almost like a memoir in places, following our protagonist Rob from his graduation after high school through a disjointed and wandering path through the streets of early 80’s San Francisco as he decides against college and instead crashes in his sister’s apartment, gets a job washing dishes and tries to make the music thing work playing as a drummer in the club scene. It feels at times, directionless, but for this story, that really works. Rob is at that point in his life. The relationship with his parents is complex and not nourishing on his mom’s end. He consumes drugs like a food source. And the true beauty of this work is in the exquisite language and wonderful way author Brian Marshall absolutely transports you into each and every scene.

When his sister’s roommate Annie (another great character) surprises Rob with an opportunity to play at a club one night, one thing turns into another and he meets Kurt, who offers him a permanent gig. But Kurt is kind of a loose cannon and things get pretty crazy. I LOVED the way the book dove into the San Francisco club scene, describing things in such vivid detail. Sol was another cool character, highlighting another angle of early 80’s San Francisco. Rob’s descent and struggle to find his path was a great journey to read.

Trigger Warnings: drug use

Please excuse typos/name misspellings. Entered on screen reader.

[Andrew Gracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a lot going on in Choosing the Dark by Brian T. Marshall. And all of it is thrilling in a way I hadn’t expected. Once I found my flow, this book became a highlight of my reading throughout this year (and I have read a lot).

In honesty, the writing style in the opening few pages put me off to the point where I felt I couldn’t read this book. Writing in the present tense and with a short, snappy sentence structure meant that the text is chaotic and initially difficult to follow. However, as I read on and adjusted my mind to fit in with what I was reading, I felt like the writing style was deliberate and part of the book’s charm. The main character Rob leads a chaotic lifestyle and is unsure himself where he is going next, and this comes across brilliantly in the text. It keeps the reader at a sort of distance whilst compelling you to read onwards. If I could compare it to any author I would compare it to Chuck Palahniuk in terms of the feel that it gives the reader. This, for me, ended up being why I loved this book: it is just so brilliantly crafted.

I really liked Rob as a protagonist. He is a bit of a down-and-out and is emotionally distant a lot of the time, but he is happy with that, and he is happy to coast through his year off schooling by exploring any new opportunities that come his way. I liked his gritty lifestyle and his adoption of the punk values, and I liked the way he knew he was talentless but was living a life where talent did not matter. The things that he enjoys (i.e. dead-end jobs, a crappy apartment) makes his life kind of bleak, and this bleak, hopeless tone was full of aspiration. This was another thing that I found so appealing as I read this book.

The dialogue is another one of this book's strengths. It feels authentic for the characters and their age, as well as the time where the book is set (1980s San Francisco). There is disillusionment in the voices of the character, and this is what drives their goals in the punk scene. Ultimately, when tragedy strikes in the second half of the book, I was emotionally invested in Kurt, Annie, and Sol in a way I had not expected to be at the start, and I loved the dark turn the story took when the reality of life finally catches up on them.

One negative for me is that Marshall often omits names and uses pronouns instead. He sometimes doesn’t reveal who is in the scene until a couple of pages after it started. Once I understood who was present it was easy to go back and fill the blanks, however, it did leave me a bit confused on more than one occasion.

I was fascinated by this introduction to American Punk and the San Francisco scene - it is certainly different from the British one I grew up with. I feel that Marshall has presented the sub-culture well and represented the things that drive it. You don’t need to be interested in punk or the music scene to appreciate this book: it is a brilliant read for anyone who loves dark coming of age stories.

[L.J. Scar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Told in third person you are outside looking in as the central character, Rob, fresh out of high school searches for purpose on a bumpy path other than the one his parents planned. Deciding to forego college, leaving the familiar and safe, he finds meaning in the midst of youthful ignorance, reflection, and waste.
Choosing the Dark is filled with poignant reflections of situations youth doesn't want to comprehend. The writing is good, the story unfolds at a moderate pace, and the end leaves you nostalgic for those not so great years of the 80s romanticized in the present.

[J. Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This coming-of-age story by Brian Marshall grabbed me, right from the first page. I fell in love with the writer's style, the spot-on analogies and metaphors, the punchy sentence fragments, the easy prose. I liked it so much I recommended it to my husband who loves to read about anything in that era in music.

The story took an unexpected turn for me, veering away from music and bands, and delving into a number of philosophical issues, not all of which worked for this reader. In my opinion, one good revision to weed out the unnecessary and to catch the few typos would turn this tale into a five-star novel.

I would be interested in reading later work by this author as I do believe he has a terrific way with words.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

“God gives you what you want. And the Devil makes you regret it.” What begins as a coming-of-age story turns into one of coming to terms with death. Deciding to try his luck in the adult world, inexperienced Rob soon finds himself immersed in a grungy punk subculture and incestuous group of ‘friends’.

Even in this world of anti-culture misfits, some still don’t fit, and when Rob comes to the defence of Sol, a gay man in his late fifties, a whole new world is opened up. Death hovers behind friends, family and rivals leaving young Rob to experience some hard life lessons at a tender age.

I can’t say anybody in this book was particularly likeable, not even the protagonist. They’re all flawed, some more than others; they’re real people, facing real problems and making real mistakes. At its heart, this feels like a character novel, but has the pacing and structure of something far more plot-driven. There are some fantastic one-liners and moments of genuine emotion.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this novel; perhaps sex, drugs and punk. But what I got was an emotive tale with well developed characters, punchy yet lyrical prose and a poignant ending.

[Bruce Perrin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Tale of Living Life on One’s Own Terms … and Often Growing from It

Choosing the Dark is a coming of age tale that finds our protagonist, Rob Walstein, at the juncture between high school and, you guessed it, the rest of his life. Concerned that he’d spent his first seventeen years trying to be what others expected, Rob wants to find himself. So, he leaves his comfortable, middle-class home on the outskirts of San Francisco and moves into the city, lives in a dive, and makes rent (barely) by washing dishes. He also gets a girl—or at least, has a one-night stand—and joins a band led by a self-destructive poet, their music described by what it’s not. It’s not punk, not metal, not rock … maybe not even music, but it stirs his soul. All of these events are quite well-crafted by author Brian Marshall, with interesting and vivid analogies and a sprinkling of humor. Overall, the prose is excellent, although some simple typos detract slightly.

Coming of age tales, however, aren’t defined by their action but rather, by the protagonist’s personal growth. And if you’re expecting a story where a significant aspect of history, social expectations, or cultural norms profoundly affects the main character’s maturation—as slavery did for Huckleberry Finn, for example—you won’t find it in this book. What you find instead is a potpourri of Rob’s emerging philosophies on topics as diverse as parent-child relations, compassion, love, religion, and death. Some are thought-provoking, such as Rob’s relationship with his mother. Many, however, are shallow, mere fortune-cookie thoughts—they sound fine but have little meaning. And a few appear ill-fitting to the character. Rob, for example, occasionally laments his aloofness, his desire to remain free of attachment. His actions, however, show just the opposite. He starts and ends his story worrying about how his mother will react to his quest for self-awareness. Even his first encounter on his journey results in much stronger emotions than the act of casual sex would imply. Insensitive seems wholly inappropriate for Rob, even before coming of age.

Overall, I enjoyed the well-crafted portrayal of Rob living his life on his own terms, but what he learned from it—sometimes, it was hard to tell.

[Norma Nikutowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story transports you to San Francisco in the ’80s. It’s about the exciting time of graduating from high school and transitioning into adult life. Rob starts making his own decisions and living away from his parents.
The problem is that the path is not really clear. His mind goes back and forth between what he wants and what he thinks about it. This is a very common situation that most people go through when they have to balance their own opinions and what others may think about them.
Rob has to deal with many issues. He shares the process of learning to live.

[David Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Just a Story About a Band

I started this book with little knowledge apart from that it dealt with the music industry in San Francisco in the 1980s. Having been in bands during this period, I read with a keen interest and understanding. Brian Marshall did not disappoint. He captured the end of the punk days and the new waves that were following. He writes with ease and conviction. His protagonist, Rob, finishes school and leaves his home to live, temporarily, with his medical student sister in San Francisco. Family expectations are placed on Rob that he doesn’t want to meet. He is a drummer, and he has hopes of becoming a success in the music industry, but to make a living, he finds work as a dishwasher. He meets Annie and the creative but damaged Kurt, but this is not a rags to riches story, it is far more than that.

The most pleasing aspect of the book is it is more than a story about a band. We get an insight into teenage angst, family life, independence, creativity, life, death and ultimately, the meaning of life. I thoroughly enjoyed Choosing the Dark and highly recommend it.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Expect the unexpected in this dark but compassionate punk coming-of-age novel. If I used a lot of adjectives there, it's because this book does so much. Set in San Francisco in the 1980s, just past the first blooming of the punk scene, it takes a naive young musician from the suburbs and throws him into the chaotic heart of urban life, where he has to deal with complex issues around creativity, love, family, and unfortunately, death. Whether you were into the punk scene or not (I wasn't), it's a vibrant, authentic, and moving story with characters you won't forget. The mix of angst and hope, tragedy and redemption, reminded me of Jennifer Egan's A Visit from the Goon Squad.

[Janice Stanford · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a Wild Ride. Come Aboard!

I can already see Choosing the Dark being made into a major motion picture. It has all the elements I look for in a good story line, character development, pace, adventure, and unexpected twists. Best of all, it is a real page turner.
Highly recommend.

[Charlotte Sweetland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book describes the turmoils of the 1980's through the fresh eyes of a young man on his journey to find a "real" life. The authenticity of Brian Marshalls' writing shines through the dialogue and descriptions. A thoroughly enjoyable read of raw times in the San Francisco music scene.