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Sooner Than Tomorrow: A Mother's Diary About Mental Illness, Family, and Everyday Life
2020 Nautilus Book Award Gold Medal Winner, Memoir
Welcome to my world. My story is written in diary format. I wrote it from June 15, 2013, to June 15, 2014. What I didn’t know, as I was writing, was that I was capturing the last year of my son’s life. Pat died, unexpectedly, on July 23, 2014, in a hospital psych ward. Suddenly, my diary morphed into a more poignant record than I’d anticipated, and after he died, I discovered Pat had been making regular posts on Facebook. I decided to add his comments to my own. I like stories where I can extrapolate from the singular to the universal—that is where I can identify with a common denominator in another person’s experience. One early reader of my diary said, “Your story is so relatable.” That’s what I hope other readers will say. You may relate to my story You have a child (children) you love more than your own life. You have a child who suffers from serious mental illness. You’ve lost a child—no matter what age. You’re a member of the sandwich generation. You treasure conversations with children—especially when they’re your grandchildren. Your cat or your dog is in charge of your household. Your bones are beginning to creak. You wake up each morning with a huge hole in your heart but you know, somehow, some way, you have to get up and put one foot in front of the other. You enjoy reading the other side of history—about ordinary people and their daily lives. You have a sense of humor. You’ve been thinking of leaving something for your descendants—a letter, story, diary, song, painting, or poem—but you haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe my diary will spur you on. More notes about I’ve added a Before section (Scenes from the Trenches). Going in, I want the reader to know “Yes, Houston, we really do have a problem.” I’ve divided my diary into quarters—Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. I introduce each with a poem—three of them are Pat’s. I end with an After section I didn’t see coming. As I was writing, I had no idea, from day to day, what stories were unfolding. I learn, right along with the reader, what will happen next. We’re all on a journey. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Dede Dede posted her story in two-week increments at www.soonerthantomorrow.com. The following are readers’ responses. Beautiful words with an undertone that has caught me . . . carrying me up and down. Such a good writer that I am grateful to be with you. I can borrow some courage here. —Janet So happy for the readers who will discover you. —Liz Dede, every one of your blog posts has a portion that I love so much that I take a screenshot and read it over and over. —Stacey Dede, I anxiously await each posting from your blog/book. You write with such skill, and not easy when it’s so personal, but your passion sprinkled with humor are the reasons that this is successful. —Joan L. I’ve done this, the primal scream and the mother animal instinct. There can’t be anything more painful, not even death. My son was a normal little boy and a normal young man until schizophrenia came calling. Now I feel so shattered. I love your diary. —J.H.D. If only this was all contrived drama. It’s so visceral. You’re an artist. —Heidi F.
Welcome to my world. My story is written in diary format. I wrote it from June 15, 2013, to June 15, 2014. What I didn’t know, as I was writing, was that I was capturing the last year of my son’s life. Pat died, unexpectedly, on July 23, 2014, in a hospital psych ward. Suddenly, my diary morphed into a more poignant record than I’d anticipated, and after he died, I discovered Pat had been making regular posts on Facebook. I decided to add his comments to my own. I like stories where I can extrapolate from the singular to the universal—that is where I can identify with a common denominator in another person’s experience. One early reader of my diary said, “Your story is so relatable.” That’s what I hope other readers will say. You may relate to my story You have a child (children) you love more than your own life. You have a child who suffers from serious mental illness. You’ve lost a child—no matter what age. You’re a member of the sandwich generation. You treasure conversations with children—especially when they’re your grandchildren. Your cat or your dog is in charge of your household. Your bones are beginning to creak. You wake up each morning with a huge hole in your heart but you know, somehow, some way, you have to get up and put one foot in front of the other. You enjoy reading the other side of history—about ordinary people and their daily lives. You have a sense of humor. You’ve been thinking of leaving something for your descendants—a letter, story, diary, song, painting, or poem—but you haven’t gotten around to it. Maybe my diary will spur you on. More notes about I’ve added a Before section (Scenes from the Trenches). Going in, I want the reader to know “Yes, Houston, we really do have a problem.” I’ve divided my diary into quarters—Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. I introduce each with a poem—three of them are Pat’s. I end with an After section I didn’t see coming. As I was writing, I had no idea, from day to day, what stories were unfolding. I learn, right along with the reader, what will happen next. We’re all on a journey. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Dede Dede posted her story in two-week increments at www.soonerthantomorrow.com. The following are readers’ responses. Beautiful words with an undertone that has caught me . . . carrying me up and down. Such a good writer that I am grateful to be with you. I can borrow some courage here. —Janet So happy for the readers who will discover you. —Liz Dede, every one of your blog posts has a portion that I love so much that I take a screenshot and read it over and over. —Stacey Dede, I anxiously await each posting from your blog/book. You write with such skill, and not easy when it’s so personal, but your passion sprinkled with humor are the reasons that this is successful. —Joan L. I’ve done this, the primal scream and the mother animal instinct. There can’t be anything more painful, not even death. My son was a normal little boy and a normal young man until schizophrenia came calling. Now I feel so shattered. I love your diary. —J.H.D. If only this was all contrived drama. It’s so visceral. You’re an artist. —Heidi F.
480 pages, Paperback
Published April 10, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 12, 2019
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer for Reader Views (8/19)
“Sooner Than Tomorrow: A Mother's Diary About Mental Illness, Family, and Everyday Life,” by Dede Ranahan is a book that all individuals, families, Senators and Representatives should read. Through her diary and her son Pat’s Facebook posts we travel with the family as they try to negotiate the mental health system, cope the best they can on the good days and mourn with them at the loss of Pat in a psychiatric ward where no one would give her information due to the HIPPA Laws.
What began as a way to capture the family history that someday would become a treasure for her children and grandchildren grew into a documentation of her son's last year of life where he died unexpectedly in a hospital psych ward where she thought he was safe.
With the author’s honest, poignant, sometimes humorous writing, readers learn about how it is to live with mental illness on a daily basis, the good times and bad. I certainly agree with the author when she says, “We love our children more than your own life,” even when they are adult children. We will do anything for them, anytime, anyplace. But when one doesn’t know what to expect minute from minute or day to day, your life, as you know it, becomes chaotic and full of despair. I admire Dede for her strength, her love and her determination.
As a professional in the mental health system for over twenty-five years, I say the mental health system is not broken because it was never whole. It is a deeply flawed system, and while it is a much better one than existed previously, it is not perfect.
As we learn with Pat, he is misdiagnosed, rushed through the system, and when hospitalized, there is no follow-up. Involuntary hospitalization as we see with Pat is extremely fast-paced – there’s not enough time to fully do what needs to get done. Too often, individuals are prematurely discharged.
As we get to know Pat, we find that he is talented, loving, intelligent and loved by many. I think incorporating his Facebook posts along with Dede’s diary allows us to get an inside look at the dynamics of her wonderful family. I held my breath, cried, got angry at the flawed system and mourned the loss of a wonderful young man.
I highly recommend “Sooner Than Tomorrow” by Dede Ranahan for anyone who is dealing with or has a family member who has a mental illness. I say this should be required reading for all mental health professionals, member of Congress and those who pass or ignore the mental health crisis we have today.
“Sooner Than Tomorrow: A Mother's Diary About Mental Illness, Family, and Everyday Life,” by Dede Ranahan is a book that all individuals, families, Senators and Representatives should read. Through her diary and her son Pat’s Facebook posts we travel with the family as they try to negotiate the mental health system, cope the best they can on the good days and mourn with them at the loss of Pat in a psychiatric ward where no one would give her information due to the HIPPA Laws.
What began as a way to capture the family history that someday would become a treasure for her children and grandchildren grew into a documentation of her son's last year of life where he died unexpectedly in a hospital psych ward where she thought he was safe.
With the author’s honest, poignant, sometimes humorous writing, readers learn about how it is to live with mental illness on a daily basis, the good times and bad. I certainly agree with the author when she says, “We love our children more than your own life,” even when they are adult children. We will do anything for them, anytime, anyplace. But when one doesn’t know what to expect minute from minute or day to day, your life, as you know it, becomes chaotic and full of despair. I admire Dede for her strength, her love and her determination.
As a professional in the mental health system for over twenty-five years, I say the mental health system is not broken because it was never whole. It is a deeply flawed system, and while it is a much better one than existed previously, it is not perfect.
As we learn with Pat, he is misdiagnosed, rushed through the system, and when hospitalized, there is no follow-up. Involuntary hospitalization as we see with Pat is extremely fast-paced – there’s not enough time to fully do what needs to get done. Too often, individuals are prematurely discharged.
As we get to know Pat, we find that he is talented, loving, intelligent and loved by many. I think incorporating his Facebook posts along with Dede’s diary allows us to get an inside look at the dynamics of her wonderful family. I held my breath, cried, got angry at the flawed system and mourned the loss of a wonderful young man.
I highly recommend “Sooner Than Tomorrow” by Dede Ranahan for anyone who is dealing with or has a family member who has a mental illness. I say this should be required reading for all mental health professionals, member of Congress and those who pass or ignore the mental health crisis we have today.
August 29, 2021
Thank you for sharing your story. Great sense of humor.
July 31, 2019
Ranahan’s account of the year before her 70th birthday takes readers on a journey full of twists and turns, showing us that resilience is not just for young people. As a reader, I feel included as a trusted friend while the narrator gamely takes on the pleasures and challenges of her many roles (within her family, as a family mental health support group leader, thrift shop assistant, gardener, cat companion, real life explorer). I love how candid she is in evoking these scenarios of daily life in her community. Her relationship with her son Pat resonated with me the most; if you’re a parent who has an adult child who lives with an unpredictable illness like bipolar, you will immediately connect with the struggles that come up for them. And though Ranahan never planned it that way, her journal—together with her son’s poems and witty Facebook posts—have become a beautiful tribute to a brave spirit. Two spirits. So glad I got to know both of them in these pages!
November 12, 2019
Review: Sooner Than Tomorrow
Sooner Than Tomorrow is a powerful portrayal of a mother trying to balance normalcy while supporting her son with mental illness. Debe captures the spoken and unspoken word as a caregiver, along with her son’s Facebook posts and poetry. It’s not a conversation of tough love, but one of understanding, heartbreak and compassion. I’m so thankful for Sooner Than Tomorrow, finally someone speaks my language. God Bless Lois Loofbourrow
Sooner Than Tomorrow is a powerful portrayal of a mother trying to balance normalcy while supporting her son with mental illness. Debe captures the spoken and unspoken word as a caregiver, along with her son’s Facebook posts and poetry. It’s not a conversation of tough love, but one of understanding, heartbreak and compassion. I’m so thankful for Sooner Than Tomorrow, finally someone speaks my language. God Bless Lois Loofbourrow
February 2, 2020
You can't help but feel like Dede is a friend as you read her day-to-day experiences. I found the book inspiring, and her blog is also a great resource for families going through similar circumstances.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews