My Black Friend Says...: Lessons in Equity, Inclusion, and Cultural Competency

by Heather S. Fleming

My Black Friends Says… is the book we need right now. Written as a series of short essays with pauses for reflection and journaling, MBFS… explores the issue of race in a very practical, inviting, and empowering way. This book will give readers the ability to tackle race issues from a position of knowledge and confidence. It teaches readers about the ways in which we develop biases, how to tackle those biases and associated emotions, and how to move forward without shame or fear. Though each essay addresses an individual issue related to inclusion and diversity in our society, the combined knowledge will allow people to see the nuances of racism, discrimination, and advocacy in America. With an appendix of suggested reading materials, study topics, and terms to know, this book provides you with all you need to begin your journey towards being a catalyst for change.Excerpt from the first essay, also titled “My Black Friend Says…”: “Imagine this as a cross-country trip from New York to Los Angeles. Bringing your shame is like bringing your mattress from home with you on the trip, and every few miles, you have to stop and make sure it’s still secure. It makes the journey impossibly long and delays everyone else who has joined in, as well. It’s best to leave that mattress(shame) behind and experience all the new opportunities you’ll find down the road. Some of those experiences will feel like a night at the Ritz Carlton; others will feel like a pallet on a forest floor. Experience. Learn. Reflect. Think. Fall in love with the journey and the people with which you share it.” --Heather Fleming

154 pages, Paperback

Published March 27, 2019

Reviews

[Delaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is my new favorite to recommend to people who are looking to learn more about racism. There is something in here for all people at all levels of becoming aware of their conscious or unconscious racial biases. I like that this book is written in short, easy to read and comprehend, essays with reflection opportunities at the end of each. This would make a great book for a group discussion. I also think this book has some of the best real life examples to illustrate micro aggressions and how racism creeps in silently into every day interactions. I really like that the author presents racism as something every single one of us needs to address and think about, not as something shameful that only ‘bad’ people do. There are definite moments in this book that will probably make the reader uncomfortable, as we each have to face our own racist mistakes, but it’s done in a way that offers hope through concrete steps we can take take to not repeat those mistakes and to become an anti-racist moving forward. If you are looking to do a book club or group study, this book would be my recommendation.

[Joy Weese Moll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heather Fleming is a teacher and those skills show up on every page of this book. Hard concepts are explained in easy-to-understand segments with opportunities for reflection and putting what we’ve learned into practice. This book explains why colorblindness isn’t our goal, how to distinguish between diversity and inclusion, and even the dreaded question of what to do about Uncle Bob at Thanksgiving.

More thoughts on my blog, including how closely this book matched my anti-racist journey which makes it my favorite book to recommend to others beginning their journeys: My Black Friend Says...

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book. Good information, Local author, relatively short, broken into small chunks. I found it a bit hard to get pulled in at first, but maybe just since it's more a collection of essays than a book. I loved the actions at the end, although I have yet to start. I need to buy this one!

[Adam Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of essays - this book is work. It challenged me to see my own unconscious bias, take ownership of educating myself about the systems of inequality that result in loss of opportunity to so many friends and apologize for instances where I triggered friends. Not a casual read, but a necessary one.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptionally helpful and practical - great guidelines for educators to use for curriculum or class discussion. Highly recommend!